Underneath the Surface
by Cami of Queenscove
Summary: Kel walked swiftly over to her dresser and pulled out a pair of breeches and a shirt. Stripping off the towel, she threw it to Neal. “Not a word out of you, Neal.” She grinned at his shocked look. “It’s not like you haven’t seen it before. Chapt
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: Wow I'm tired. Jeez it's not even 11 yet. Oh well. I don't own them you half brained freaks. Get over it.

A/N: this is a K/N story everyone. It starts out sorta K/C, but friendly K/C. Anyway, I'm tired, so I'm going to post this now. Bye then.

__

Underneath the Surface - Prologue

"Hey, Cleon! Cleon, over here!" Kel called excitedly as she read the letter over again. She ran over to where her friend was kneeling over a group of baby sparrows. "Cleon!"

Cleon looked up at her strangely, eyebrows raised in a half-smirk. "You called?" 

Kel scowled at him, then thrust the letter over to him. He took it half-heartedly, only briefly averting his eyes from the newborn birds. Stuffing it in his pocket, he cooed to them, "aren't you just the prettiest little birdies I've ever seen?" 

Kel hit Cleon over the head with the flat of her hand, annoyance showing through her usually carefully blank face. "Cleon! Read the letter! It's from Neal! He and Yuki are finally getting married!"

It had been almost a year since Kel had defeated the Nothing Man, Blayce. In that time, very little had changed, with the exception of a certain lack of metal monsters gallivanting around Tortall. Kel had been posted at the Scanran border for border patrol, since the war, in essence, was still going on. Cleon had joined her somewhere along the line of the past 3 months or so. Raoul and Buri had been happily married for eleven months, and were expecting their first child within a couple of weeks. 

Things for Neal, and Yuki, however, had seemed to have started off roughly after the war ended. Yuki had been called back to the Yamani isles because of her father falling mysteriously and fatally ill. Their planned engagement of two months had spanned to six, then eight, and finally, now to a year. Kel hadn't seen either one of them since she had been sent up to the Scanran border. She couldn't help but grin when she thought of being able to see them for the wedding. 

She watched Cleon read the letter closely. A wide grin broke out onto his face when he had finished as he gave the parchment back to Kel. "I'm going to be an usher," he said as he smiled cheekily at the younger knight.

"And I'm maid of honor," Kel responded, her grin just as wide. Cleon got up from his spot on the ground and slung an arm around her shoulders, taking wide, broad steps toward the mess hall. 

"Do you know what this means, Kel? It means that we can finally leave this mud hole and go back to a place where they have clean linens and hot baths and all those nice things we _intended_ to get but didn't when we became knights." Kel laughed. Cleon certainly had kept his sense of humor.

"And I can see Ermelian again! Kel, do you think she'll be invited to the wedding?" Kel looked at him happily. He had been married to his heiress for over a year and couldn't be more in love with her. It was good that he had found someone he could relate to if he was going to be forced into marriage, and not some stuffy old crone.

Kel shrugged. "Even if she's not, I'm sure you can get her to come and visit you at the palace. That is, after all, where the wedding is taking place."

"Right," Cleon responded. He led her toward the mess where they shared a bite before walking back to their post. They had sentry shift that night and it was going to be a while before any of them got any real sleep. Kel yawned widely. 

__

'This certainly isn't good if I'm yawning already,' she thought sleepily. 

"Tired?" Cleon asked. 

"A little," she admitted. 

"Both of us don't need to stay awake, you know. You can rest a bit while I keep watch," he said, his voice revealing his concern.

Kel brushed his suggestion off. "No. I wouldn't feel right doing that."

Cleon shrugged. "Just remember, Kel. If you need to, you can sleep. These late hours of sentry duty have kept us all up, you the most. You've been working too hard. Slow down." 

Kel glared at Cleon. "Be quiet. I don't need any more rest than the rest of you," she grunted as they neared their post. "Now let's just get this over with."

"Anything you say Kel," Cleon answered her, albeit reluctantly. He sat down on a large rock that jutted off of the edge of the cliff they were supposed to be scouting from. Kel sat down across from him, her mouth formed in a slight pout. She crossed her arms over her chest and stared at the ground. It was getting a bit fuzy...

"Kel? Are you all right?" Cleon asked her worriedly. Kel snapped out of her faze. 

"Yeah. Just zoned out for a minute, you know?" she told him. Cleon nodded. 

"Yeah. Listen, are you sure you don't want any sleep? Because, I mean, it's no problem-"

"Cleon, no. I'm fine. Trust me," she snapped as she cut him off abruptly. Cleon pulled back a bit, but let her have her way. She sighed. The past couple of days had been very long. The Scanrans had been sighted more frequently each and every day. 

__

'And we thought it would be the end when Blayce died,' Kel thought bitterly. _'But _no._ They had to keep bombarding us with soldier after soldier. It makes you wonder if they have anything better to do.'_

"So, Kel. Have you heard from Dom lately?" Cleon asked suggestively. Kel growled at him. She was _way_ too tired for this.

"No," she snapped at him curtly. "And I don't expect to hear from him any time soon, so stop asking me. Please don't get involved with my love life, or it shall be certain doom for us all." 

She turned the other way. Dom and her had had an on-off relationship for the past couple of months, but nothing had really accumulated to anything. A sneaked kiss or two in a dark corner, a casual touch... that was all they were. And frankly, that was how Kel liked it. She wasn't fixated on the idea that a woman's worth was judged by her husband, after all. She didn't have near enough time for some lovesick boy courting her anyway... 

"Kel. You _do _need someone in your life. And since it's not me, and it's not Owen, or Neal even, Dom's you're best choice," Cleon told her frankly. Kel glared at him. Again, she was _way_ too tired for this. 

"You know that he's going to be bet man?" Kel asked him, trying to avoid the subject of her and Dom's relationship. 

"Yeah. It was in the letter. Ah..." he sighed forlornly. "It's all because they're family. If that father of his hadn't butted in, _I_ would have probably been best man..." 

Kel snorted. "Get over it Cleon." 

Cleon's lips curved up into a smile. From then on, they made small talk, both Cleon and Kel carefully avoiding the subjects that were delicate for them. Kel's love life, to be specific. Whenever Cleon brushed over it, she would swiftly change the subject. 

They found themselves in silence after a while, just staring up at the stars. Kel found herself lying down on the cool rock and closing her eyes. She didn't see Cleon's smirk as she drifted off to sleep...

* ~ * ~ * ~ * 

"Kel? Kel, are you there?" a voice called to her in the white void of her dream. Kel strained to hear the voice. It was distant, but yet eerily familiar...

"Kel? Kel, can you hear me? If you can hear me, tell me so I can find you!" the voice said again. 

"I'm here!" Kel told the voice. 

"I see you!" It called back. "I'm coming to you!" 

All of a sudden, Kel found herself lying on a bed of grass in the midst of a field of wildflowers. She almost gasped at the beauty that lay around her. Kel propped herself up on one elbow to study her surroundings. It seemed to be an endless expanse of beauty and life. She sat up and shook her head. Where was she?

"Kel," a voice said from behind her. Kel turned to see who it was.

He grinned cheekily at her. Kneeling down, he pulled her close to him into a swift embrace. "I missed you Kel." Kel sighed deeply, savoring the very smell of him. He always did smell nice...

"Kel," he said, withdrawing from her hold. "Did you miss me?" 

Kel grinned at him. "Well, of course I did Meathead. I haven't seen you in too long."

Neal smiled back at her and raised a hand to touch her cheek. He fondled it affectionately. "How much did you miss me?" he asked. 

Kel snorted. "If I told you that I pined for you, would you leave me alone?"

Neal pulled back and clutched his chest in a look of mock despair. "My dear Keladry, how could you say something like that? Do you not love me, as I love you?" Kel silenced him with a finger to his lips. 

"Of course I love you, Meathead. Now come here," she said as she slid her mouth over his.

* ~ * ~ * ~ * 

Kel awoke, feeling quite perturbed.

* ~ * ~ * ~ * 

A/N: Heheheheheheh... I was just having one of those random moments. Ya know, where you get a strange impulse to write something? Well, I had one of those. Anyway, it's 12:16 at night and I don't have school tomorrow so I really don't care. Anyways, there was nothing good on ff.net at the time, so I decided to write something of my own. You can only re-read Fallen Idols and Search for the Six so many times. ^_^ Anyway, this is going to be K/N. If you haven't gotten that by now. I'm thinking of putting Rebound on hold for now, until I figure out what to do with Yuki. So... I'll see ya all later!

Much love,

Stacey 


	2. Dreams

Disclaimer: I don't want to have to type this again. Although I probably will have to for a very long time. Oh well. I don't own 'em. 

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Underneath the Surface - Chapter 1 - Dreams

"Kel? Are you all right?" 

Kel snapped out of her reverie to look at Cleon. He was studying her carefully, his eyes scrutinizing her every movement. It had been like this since she had been jerked out of sleep that one night while they were on sentry duty together. She had been in a faze for the entire night, Cleon had observed. He was worried something was really bothering her. 

"Kel?"

Kel shook her head. "It's nothing, Cleon. Just thinking." She nudged Hoshi forward a bit to get away from Cleon. He had been pestering her nonstop for the past couple of days. It's not that she was ungrateful for his concern... she just _really_ didn't want to talk about what was bothering her. 

That dream... she hadn't had one like it in years. She never dreamed about silly things like love and romance. If anything, she would be the _last_ one to dream about something like that. So why now? And why with _Neal,_ of all people?

__

'It's not like you have feelings for him,' she told herself. _'It was just another of those random things, that have no real relevance or meaning to them. It's not like it _meant_ anything. Right.'_

Kel sighed. Life really was just too complicated.

Cleon caught up to her rather quickly. They were on their way to Neal and Yuki's wedding. They had brought nothing but the essentials, spare clothes, food and supplies. They had both decided to buy a gift for the happy couple when they got back to Corus, and Lalasa had already told Kel that she was going to make her dress back at home.

"What are you thinking about?" Cleon asked her. Kel glanced at Cleon and sighed. He was the ever-pestering Cleon, after all... 

"Nothing. None of your business."

"A certain Domitan, maybe?" Cleon asked probingly. Kel glared at him and nudged Hoshi forward again. This was going to be a long ride.

Cleon caught up to her again. "Don't try to avoid the question, Kel. I _know_ that's what you were thinking about." 

Kel just looked at him. 

Cleon dropped the subject. 

"So how are things with Ermelian?" Kel asked him after a while. His face brightened visibly. 

"She's wonderful," he said softly. He looked up at her and grinned. "Not as wonderful as you, dewdrop, of course, but still..." he said as his voice trailed off. Kel smiled and sighed. It was good that he had found someone that he could love. 

"Of course Cleon," she replied. Seeing Cleon like this made her happy.

"She has this habit of running her fingers through her hair when she's nervous. I just have to love her when she does that. It's one of those little habits that you can never stop, but she just looks so... _innocent _when she does it. And then, other times, she's like a little _devil_." He coughed, a blush rising to his face. "_If_ you know what I mean." 

Kel's cheeks turned red. She had a _very_ good idea of what he meant.

"Cleon, stop. You're reminding me of Neal with that bluntness of yours." He coughed, and Kel slowly found a steady heat rising to her cheeks. 

"Kel, why is it that whenever someone mentions Neal's name that you blush?" he asked her pryingly. 

Kel proceeded to turn redder. 

"It's not because of - _him_ - it's because of what you said earlier," she replied quickly, hoping that he would believe her... _stretch _of the truth. Apparently, though, she had answered a little _too_ quickly for Cleon's tastes. 

"Are you sure? You wouldn't be hiding some secret passion for our lovable Meathead, now would you?" Cleon prodded. 

"Dom _and_ Neal? Cleon, what do you take me for, some kind of _harlot?_" Kel asked, feeling quite irked. (A/N: That's just such a funny word. ^_^) 

Cleon turned red and quiet rested over the two companions once again. Kel sighed. Cleon's sometimes twisted sense of humor never ceased to amaze and slightly annoy her. 

They rode for a couple more minutes before Cleon asked her, "are you _sure_ you aren't hiding anything?"

Kel glanced at him. _Why _was he so intent on finding out about her _imaginary _love interests?

"Cleon, are you feeling all right? I think all this riding has interfered with your common sense."

Cleon put a hand to his forehead in a mock gesture. "Well, I do feel a bit warm, but I don't think I'm _sick_ or anything..." He grinned.

Kel sighed and shook her head. He would never grow up.

"Cleon?"

"Yes, Kel?"

"_Do_ be quiet." 

Cleon smirked and let out a small snort. "As you wish, Lady Kel."

"And don't call me Lady Kel."

"Yes, dame Keladry."

"Cleon, shut up." 

"As you wish, my pearl."

"CLEON!!!"

* ~ * ~ * ~ * 

It was easy riding for a day or two. Kel and Cleon had stopped outside of an inn in the seaport town of Blue Harbour. After two nights of hard riding, it would be blessed comfort to be able to lie down in a real bed.

"Ugh," Kel moaned as she and Cleon made their way into the inn after giving their horses to the stable boys. "I'm about ready for a good night's sleep." 

"Tell me about it," Cleon responded, his stride a little lopsided from sitting on a horse for so long. Opening the door, they took in the sight around them. Scantily clothed women bustled around, flirting with local men that flocked the taverns this time of night. A bard was performing in the corner for a group of avid listeners, while a bartender served an already tipsy looking man. Kel smiled tightly; the scene looked like something out of a Corus inn itself. It brought back memories of home. 

Kel and Cleon walked over to a table and seated themselves. A man quickly came over to them.

"What'll it be, miss? Sir?"

Kel answered him. "Two rooms for the night, please. And what types of food do you have?" 

The man looked between the two knights and cleared his throat. "Ahm... I'm afraid that we only have one room left for tonight. I'm dreadfully sorry, but..." He cleared his throat again, looking a bit uncomfortable. 

Kel shot Cleon a glance. He was frowning as he returned her gaze. "I'll take the floor..." he said uncertainly.

"You don't have to," Kel told him. "You shouldn't have to-"

"No, it's all right," Cleon answered quickly, a tight grin spread over his face. Kel looked at him worriedly, but let it go. If he wanted to let her have the bed, then it was fine with her. 

Cleon turned to the man. "We'll take that room, please. Now, what _do_ you have to eat?"

* ~ * ~ * ~ *

Kel sighed as she undressed in the small latrine in the room she shared with Cleon. It had been a long couple of weeks. Sleep had been scarce, since she was on sentry duty for a _large _majority of her time. Cleon... he had been..._ different._ He had made things easier with his constant jokes but - other times he had just been a plain nuisance. 

"Always pestering me about Neal and Dom and not getting enough sleep," she grumbled under her breath. Slipping her nightshirt on over her loincloth and brestband, she turned to look at herself in the mirror. She winced when she saw the dark circles under her eyes. They made her look even more like a Lump. 

Kel rubbed her eyes and looked back at her reflection. She smiled. Without the bags, she might actually look half-decent. She had changed so much since coming to the Royal Palace to train to be a knight. 

__

'For the better,' she thought as she opened the door into the bedroom. Cleon had already changed and was making a makeshift bed on the floor with the extra blankets the inn had provided them with. He looked up when he saw, her, but then went back to his work without a word. They were both too tired to hold a decent conversation, anyway. 

Kel made her way to the bed, folded down the sheets, and lied down. She closed her eyes when she heard Cleon crawl into his own bed. 

"G'night, Cleon," she whispered to him.

He let out a contented sigh. "G'night, Kel."

* ~ * ~ * ~ *

"Kel?"

Kel turned at the sound of that familiar voice. She smiled warmly at her best friend. "Neal!" she said, laughing as he picked her up and twirled her around in the air. 

When he had finally let her down, he smiled at her warmly and took her hand. "Come on. I have a surprise for you." 

Kel followed, a smile plastered on her face. She hadn't seen Neal in so long... 

He led her through a field of wildflowers. They seemed somehow familiar to Kel. She shook her head. She had never been to a place this beautiful before, had she? 

Greens and yellows and purples spanned across the horizon, drowning out the darkness. Kel followed Neal's outstretched hand through field after field, across a seemingly endless distance until Neal abruptly stopped. Kel furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. Why were they stopping?

"Shh..." Neal told her, as if he had read her mind. "Just wait." 

Suddenly, the fields became a mirage as Kel found herself standing in a forest. A gentle mist had settled around them, making it hard for Kel to see past the clearing they were standing in. Great evergreens reached for the heavens, their thistles quaking ever so softly. It was almost eerily quiet. Kel couldn't hear a noise for miles with the exception of her own breathing. Or maybe it was Neal's hand curved warmly over hers that was unnerving her so...

"Shh..." Neal repeated again as he took her and gently pressed her up against his chest. Kel felt her heart start to beat faster. Her breathing quickly became labored. 

Neal smirked as he wrapped an arm around her waist. His hand moved to touch the small of her back. Kel felt heat rising to her face. "Neal? What-"

"I told you, shh..." he said softly as he gently moved his lips over hers.

Kel felt her blood thunder in her head. She just stood there for a moment before remembering to kiss him back. Her hands found their way to the back of his neck as he rubbed her back in tiny circles. His hands found his way to where her shirt was tucked into her breeches, and he pulled the shirt out, giving him free reign to her skin. Kel shivered. 

Kel could feel him sliding his tongue across her teeth. She suddenly became dizzy and lightheaded all over. Just _what _were they doing, really?

Neal moved his hands from her back to the sides of her stomach, slowly edging her shirt out of her breeches. His fingers danced along bare skin as they moved upward. Kel moaned involuntarily. 

Abruptly, he pulled away and grinned. "So. Did you like my surprise?" Kel looked at him in a daze, not comprehending the words he said.

"Hm. Thought so."

* ~ * ~ * ~ *

Kel's eyes darted open as she moaned in frustration. So much for that good night's rest. 

* ~ * ~ * ~ *

A/N: HEHEHEH!!!!! YOU HAVE _NO_ IDEA HOW MUCH FUN THAT WAS TO WRITE!!!!! HEHEHEHEHEH!!!!!!! Ok, I'm done. OMG! You guys gave me so many reviews for just a little K/N story! I mean, I didn't even stick together anyone weird this time... Heh... oh, go read Philosophical Disagreements. It's a convo I had with Kate that she posted. It's quite amusing, if I do say so myself. So... go read. ^_^ Heh... hope you all liked the chappie!

Much love,

Stacey 

P.S. I've decided to put the thank yous at the end. Soooo... Here.

Lady Sandrilene - Heh... read Search for the Six. It's by my good friend, Kate. It's on my favs, so just go there. Even though I think you should be more open minded about weird couples, I have decided that you are a cool person for reviewing this story. (Since I do like this story ever so much.) Thanks!

Kate - I have no idea what to say to you after than WEIRD convo we had yesterday. Hehehe... Neal was quite good in the bathtub today, though. ^_^

Sarah - I'm not even going to bother talking to you. Finish your hw so you can call me!!!

Alex - go write more of Outcasts! More K/Niness! Heheheh........ thanks!

Jossie - I'll try not to give away much. I mean, I don't think I have so far. Erm... I feel very touched that you would read this instead of studying. Then again, I do that all the time, so... hehehe...... GO PROCRASTINATION!!!!! 

SiriDragon - Thanx! Hermione/Snape is cool man!

Cinereath - Ack. Dom. No. Ack.

Kenta Divina - Truthfully, I don't know all the specifics as to what's going to happen, but I'll keep in mind what you said about Yuki. I don't like being mean to her, either, even thought it happens a lot. *sheepish grin*

Queen of Fluff - Why, hello. Yay for Neal! Yay!

QueenFrosteen - I know. I made a mistake with the whole "best" man thing. Oh well. *sheepish grin* Of course I like the K/N pairing! Hehehe... Thanks for reviewing! 

Pam - SHUT UP!!!! SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!! K then. Anyway, thanks for reviewing. DIE ENGLISH PAPERS!!!!!

Amethyst Eyes - Darn... Why couldn't he be dead... Then again, he _does _provide good comic relief... Heh...

Natalia - You are waaaaaay too obsessed with Owen. And I thought Kate and I were bad...

Michelle - I like the llama idea... sounds interesting!

Magelet - Oh, it will... *evil grin*

Judeeeeeeeee - Heh... strangeling. I really wanted to post this today, and I didn't know if you were going to be able to read it in time, so I posted it now. *winces* Sorry. Oh well. Future chappies will go to you though. Glad to know that you like my writing. *blushes* Then again, we're friends, so you're sorta obligated to tell me that, aren't you? Heh... CAFFEINE!!!!!!!

Larzdinn - See? I updated. K/N is my fav ship. Of course I couldn't just _leave_ them like that. Sheesh... thanks!

P.P.S. About the dream, it was _supposed_ to be random! That's why they switched surroundings like they did. It was actually sorta pointless, but oh well. I like it. 

P.P.P.S. GO REVIEW!!!!! Heh... 


	3. Cling on Strikes Again!

Disclaimer: Oh, screw it. I don't own them.

**__**

This chappie is dedicated to by beta and eternal friends, Judie and Brigid. Luv ya!

Underneath the Surface - Chapter 2 - Cling-on Strikes Again!

Kel mounted Hoshi as skillfully as she could on four hours of sleep. She had been awake most of the night trying to force herself back to sleep. 

Unfortunately, that hadn't been very successful.

__

'Ah, the irony of it all.'

"Kel? You all right?" she heard Cleon ask from behind her.

"Everything's just peachy, Cleon. Just peachy."

"Well, I heard you tossing and turning all last night. Did you get any sleep?" Cleon asked as he mounted his own horse. 

Kel turned sharply to look at him. Had he heard her? She hoped she hadn't said Neal's name during her dream. Cleon would never let her live it down.

"I got plenty of sleep, Cleon. I was just a bit restless. I guess my body's so used to sleeping on the floor that it couldn't get used to something as comfortable as pillows and mattresses," Kel replied as they both left the inn's gates. 

"Oh," Cleon responded. He paused, then spoke again. "So I suppose waking up to your moaning in the middle of the night was entirely to do because of sleeping on the floor?"

Kel felt her cheeks start to burn as she turned away from Cleon. She didn't say anything.

"Oh, come now! Tell! Who was it?" Cleon prodded. Kel simply proceeded to turn redder.

"Kel! Tell me! Come on, what are friends for? We're supposed to tell each other all about our embarrassing fantasies!" When Kel didn't answer, Cleon went on. "I remember, one dream I had about Lady Laurana when I was a squire-"

"Cleon," Kel growled at him.

"Yes?"

"Shut up." 

"No! I want to know who turned you on last night!" 

Kel's face turned beet red. Did he _always_ have to make things so blunt? "Oh, Cleon, stop it."

"Tell me, Kel! What are friends for, after all? Maybe I could set the two of you up!" His face lit up with glee at the prospect of playing Kel's matchmaker.

Kel suddenly had a brilliant idea. "You _really_ want to know who was turning me on, Cleon?" Cleon nodded enthusiastically. "Well, he's a knight. And he has perfectly flaming red hair. And the most lovely gray eyes I have _ever_ seen." 

"Really?" Cleon asked.

"Yes. And you know what his name was?" she said, lowering her voice so that it was almost seductive. _'Then again,'_ Kel told herself, '_it's strictly an almost.'_

"What was his name, Kel?"

"It was-" she bent over on Hoshi to whisper in his ear. "Cling-on."

Cleon pulled back to look at her strangely. "Cling-on? What an odd name." Kel smirked at him. "_Oh_. I see. I'll be quiet now," he said as he turned away and blushed. 

Kel allowed herself a small snicker. _'Well. That's one way to shut him up.'_

* ~ * ~ * ~ *

The ride back to the palace was uneventful. Cleon was quiet for most of the time - meaning that he didn't crack vulgar jokes about Kel's love life. They had stopped to set up camp the night before, but Kel hadn't had any more - _lusty_ dreams.

__

'That's a relief, at least. I couldn't stand if I had kept thinking about him like that. I mean, he's my best friend! I remember how things were when I had that crush on him as a page! It just made things so utterly - complicated. _Painfully complicated. Besides, he's getting married. It would just be fruitless to have feelings for him, especially now that he's in love and getting married. Perfectly fruitless.'_

"Hey, Kel?"

"Yeah, Cleon?"

"What do you think Neal will be like when we get back? I mean, you haven't seen him for almost a year now. You've been on border duty for all this time, and he's been away..." Cleon's voice trailed off. Kel silently vowed to hurt Cleon after all this was over. He always knew how to bring up a touchy subject without trying too hard.

"Well, I'm sure he'll be the same, wisecracking Meathead that we all know and love." Kel winced at her choice of words. _'Not love, you idiot! He'll probably think that I _do_ love him! Wait, what are you saying? It's an expression. He won't think anything of it.' _She paused in her train of though. _'Hopefully.' _

"Love?"

Kel mentally pictured stabbing Cleon with many, many dull knives. Countless times. A fitting death.

"You know what I mean, Cleon."

"Suuuure." 

* ~ * ~ * ~ * 

"I reckon we'll be riding for one more day," Cleon told Kel as they approached an inn in the small town of Relena's Peak. It was a small coastal township a couple of hours from Port Caynn. Relena's Peak couldn't have house more than 70 families, give or take. It was comprised of houses, an inn, a communal meeting place, a market, and various other small stores. 

"Yeah. We'll probably reach Corus by mid afternoon tomorrow if we leave at an early enough time."

Cleon looked over at Kel. "They're probably not even expecting us for a couple more _days_, let alone hours. What if you have another _dream??? _You wouldn't want them to see you sleep deprived."

Kel glared at Cleon. She seemed to be doing that a lot lately. 

"Cleon, a couple of hours might make the difference between life and death."

Cleon eyed her skeptically. "That was random."

Kel looked at him indignantly. "Well, I feel like being random today." Cleon raised an eyebrow at her, and she sighed. This was just not her day.

Or perhaps, it wasn't her week.

"Fine. We'll sleep in." Cleon gave a self-righteous grin as they walked their horses into town. They were silent for a moment. 

"Cleon?"

"Yeah, Kel?"

"Don't let it get to your head. This is the only time I'll ever let you win again."

"Sure, Kel."

* ~ * ~ * ~ * 

Kel looked around her room in silent approval. It was small and neat. A fire burned in a medium sized hearth in the far end of the room. It was a simple room, with wooden floorboards, dusky colored curtains, and a small four poster. 

__

'Anything's better than sharing a room with Cleon again,' she thought. Silently, she changed and crawled into bed. Drifting off into sleep, she had a fleeting thought of wildflowers and pink bunnies.

* ~ * ~ * ~ * 

"Hey, Kel." 

Kel whirled around to Neal's smiling face. She couldn't help but grin. 

"Neal. You came." 

"Well, of course! You didn't think I would leave you here all alone, did you?" Neal walked toward Kel in the field of wildflowers and took both of her hands in his. He looked down at them and gently rubbed his fingers against hers, then looked up at her again.

"I got you something," he told her, a broad smile spread across his face.

Kel's eyes lit us. "Really? What is it?"

"Well," he started, a sheepish smile across his face, "it's nothing much, really. I found it, and I thought that you would like it."

"Really?" Kel answered. "What is it? Tell me! I won't laugh or anything, if that's what you're afraid of." She pushed Neal playfully to show that her spirits were light. 

Neal grinned. He reached behind his back, and from seemingly out of nowhere, a crimson flower was produced. Its soft petals were round and delicate. He handed the flower to Kel.

"I thought you would like it," he said as Kel took the flower. 

"It's beautiful." Kel couldn't think of anything else to say.

"A beautiful flower, for a beautiful lady," Neal said as he grinned cheekily. Kel felt herself blush.

"Stop, Neal. Your flattery is highly overrated."

"Ah, but my dear Keladry! I'm only saying what everyone knows is true!" Neal put a finger to her chin.

"Stop it. I look like a cow. That's what everyone says," she retorted as a scowl spread over her face.

Neal put a finger over her lips. "Everyone is wrong. Don't you see that you're beautiful in my eyes?" 

* ~ * ~ * ~ * 

__

'So much for not having any more dreams,' Kel thought as she opened her eyes and groaned.

Sighing, she sat up and rubbed her eyes. _'What is _wrong _with me? The first time it was random, second coincidence, but _three times_, to dream about him? What is going on in that subconscious?'_

Kel sat up and walked over to the privy. She washed her face in the small basin of water that was sitting near the mirror and looked at her reflection. "Ha! Beautiful. Right. This is not happening to me." 

She grabbed a towel and dried her face. Throwing it across the privy, she glanced back at her bed. It looked so warm and inviting... Then again, she would probably have more dreams if she went back. It was ironic that she never dreamed about Neal when she was sleeping on the dirt somewhere in the middle of nowhere. _No. _It had to be when she had a nice, comfortable bed.

__

'Comfortable... that sounds so nice...' Kel shook her head furiously. 

__

'No! It's almost sunrise anyway. I'll just stay up the rest of the night. Right.'

Kel's eyes wandered back to her bed, though. It looked so warm and cozy...

__

'Maybe I'll just sit down on the bed. And close my eyes for a bit. It won't do much harm just to close my eyes... And I won't fall asleep or anything...' she thought as she found herself being inexorably being drawn towards the four poster. She let out a deep sigh as her head fell onto the pillow and her eyes closed in a dreamy sleep...

* ~ * ~ * ~ *

"Kel," a voice sang to her. Kel furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. Who was that?

"Kel," the voice called again. Kel sighed in exasperation. 

"Who are you?"

She heard a faint chortle come a couple of feet behind her. Whirling around, she found herself face to face with Neal. She smirked.

"Neal! Why are you sneaking up on me like that?" He grinned and took her roughly into his arms. Pulling her up against him, she felt her heart surge with a blast of passion. 

"Hello Kel." He grinned and wrapped an arm around her waist. Kel turned red when she felt his hand move further down than was customary.

"Neal! Stop. You're not supposed-" he bent down to kiss the hollow of her throat "-to..." She felt her will power leave her as he trailed a line of kisses up her throat. "Neal..."

She felt him smirk against her jaw line. "I'll have you _screaming _my name by the time I'm done with you."

Kel was about to pull away from him but he brought his lips up to meet hers, blowing her mind away with one, dazzling kiss.

* ~ * ~ * ~ * 

Kel sat up in bed as the first rays of sunlight touched her face. _'I really have to stop doing that.'_

* ~ * ~ * ~ * 

A/N: These chapters are so much fun! I never did "lusty" dreams before. (As Min so fondly calls them. *winks*) Neal's such a stud... agh. I've been reading ICBW seasons 1 and 2 and I can't believe I never read it before. It's just so good... agh. It's taking me forever though. I was planning on printing one of the chapters out to read before going to bed and it was 20 pages! Gah! Lol Mine will never be anywhere near that. Oh well. Then again, I'm 14, whereas Sulia Serafine's probably... well, older to say the least. But anyway, what I was going to say, was that now I have an odd obsession for Joren. *sheepish grin* Even more then when I'm reading Fallen Idols, one of my fav fics by one of my fav authors... *winks again* Heh... Anyway, hope you like the chapter. I do... the funny thing is, the dreams aren't even my favorite part. The bantering between Kel and Cleon is. Oh well. Whatever. Anyway, review please! You know I love em! Thanks to everyone who's reviewed. I can't believe I get so many now. It used to happen to everyone but me, ya know? And now... it's all... I can't describe it. Guess that's what happens after being here a while. Whatever. Man, now I'm boring all you people. Sorry. Anyway, here's the thank yous:

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Jude: Yes, you probably would lie to me to spare my very sensitive feelings. You know how I am. *sniff* I LOVE HAVING A FRIEND LIKE YOU!!!! *breaks out into tears* Sorry. I feel very emotional today. Oh well. ICBW is so freaking good. Joren... I just keep imagining him in that towel... and those sweatpants... Gah! Mind out of gutter! Mind out of gutter! Then again, I wouldn't be me if my mind was out of the gutter, now would I?

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Brigid: Hiya! No, he's not yours. He's mine. Deal with it. *growls* Lol.

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'Chelle: Gah! You're always pointing out interesting things about my fics that even I don't notice! In SoT, you said they both had to do with protection, which I didn't notice, and now with the wildflowers! Well, I sorta did notice about the wildflowers, but I didn't think that deep into it. Sheesh. Luv ya!

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Arctic Princess: I know, I know. I'm trying. It's in a rut though. And this is at least _somewhat _interesting... I'm trying, I promise. ^_^

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Merry of Masbolle: GAH! YOU CHANGED IT!!! MOOAHAHAHA!!!! Lol Right. Anyway, thanks. I hate those stories too. They're just so... tasteless. Oh well. Liked your K/D btw. It was very good. Although I haven't gotten around to reading the last couple chappies... *sheepish grin*

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Queen of Fluff: Hmmm...... scary in the good way? I suppose that means it's good, then doesn't it? Hehehe...

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Alex: No. Alas, I have decided he will not die. Because he's funny. And an idiot. So there. 

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Kate: Fire? There's a fire? Funfunfunfunfun! Lol. Anywho, THEY LIKE US! THEY REALLY LIKE US! Heh... damn nun... getting me in trouble... gr... don't ask. It's a long story. 

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Min: Ya know, I should really call you Min of Stone Mt. or something. You're way too obsessed with Joren. Then again, aren't we all? *dreamy sigh* OMG I FINALLY GOT TO READING ICBW!!! IT'S A FREAKIN MASTERPIECE! Gah, it's taking so long though. And I can't kill Yuki cuz that would be plain unrealistic. ^_^

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Jossie: Hello! Tell me about it. I have to read the next three books in the Odyssey, do questions on them, analyze something from the Catcher in the Rye, do math, bio and French homework. But I decided to screw that and write this for you guys. Aren't you happy?

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Natalia: Grrr... well, that's true. But still. Owen?

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ThePenMage: You see why he was sleeping with Kel? To make fun of her! Hehehe... Plus, he's going to actually use his brain for once later on in the story and, well... its going to be one of the clues! It's good I'm not making sense now, otherwise you might guess the plot. Heh...

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Pam: Randomness! Ya for randomness! Lovely randomness! MOOHAHAHAH!!!!! Heh... isn't Neal a stud?


	4. Giving In

Disclaimer: Jesus H. Christ. Do you honestly think I own all the wonderful things Tamora Pierce writes? Well, besides Neal. Neal is the exception. Hehehe... 

Warning: It gets a little... er... smutty! Be warned!

****

Chappie dedicated to Min, Kate, Jude, and SheWhoPlaysWithFire, who dedicated her chapter to me. Luv ya'll!

*

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Lean on me

When you're not strong

And I'll be your friend

I'll help you carry on

For it won't be long

Till I'm gonna need

Somebody to lean on

Lean on Me - The Temptations

****

Underneath the Surface - Chapter 3 - Giving In 

Cleon watched Kel with worry as they rode through the streets of upper Corus. She was yawning yet again. He was really beginning to think something was seriously wrong. Over the past couple of days, Kel had seemed uptight, almost jumpy. She had snapped at him over the tiniest things. Now, he understood perfectly that he _was_ prodding a bit, but what were friends for? It was his _job_ to prod, as Cleon of Kennan. He had a duty to find out everything he could about Kel's possible love life. 

"Finally," Kel breathed. Cleon raised an eyebrow. "I'm finally home."

"Don't get too attached. We'll have to leave after the wedding," Cleon told her gently. He didn't want her to be even testier to him when they had to go back to the Scanran border, after all. 

"I know," she replied somberly. "It's just so good to be back after almost a year." Suddenly, Kel swayed on her horse.

"Easy, there," Cleon told her as he reached over to steady her. Kel nodded her thanks and yawned.

Cleon glanced at her with sad eyes. It hurt him to think that she wasn't the same old Kel that he used to know. This Kel - she was someone different. Someone more mature; older and wiser. But she was tainted. She had seen what pain could be like. She had seen what men would do when pushed. She just wasn't the same. 

Cleon decided that it was good for her to come back home after all this pain and war. The change would do her good. And he was sure seeing all their old friends would lift Kel's spirits some. 

Somewhere in the distance, Cleon heard a shrilly scream come from one of the shops. His head snapped sharply towards the noise. What in the name of Mithros...?

"Cleon!" a voice called. Cleon looked into the crowd of jostled onlookers to see a familiar mop of brown hair racing towards him. A grin lit up his face as he jumped off his horse and into his lover's arms.

"Ermelian, my dove!" he exclaimed as he kissed her soundly, ears ringing. His wife responded warmly, sending a shiver up his spine. Kel simply stared on from atop of Hoshi, feeling a bit out of place.

When Cleon finally broke away, his cheeks had two distinct red spots of color spread across them. Ermelian was the same. They smiled to each other and whispered things that Kel could not hear from atop her horse. She was glad. She would probably be blushing like an idiot if she could have. 

"Kel!" Cleon called to her. Kel held a hand up, lips tightened in a slight smile. 

__

'Ah, how the gods love torturing me-'

"Kel, get off that horse of yours and come down here!" he called. Kel sighed. 

__

'Joy.'

Fatigue reaching her, she stumbled as she dismounted Hoshi and led him and Cleon's horse over to where the two lovers were standing. She wondered if Cleon could feel her particular loathing towards him now. 

Probably not. 

"Kel, you've met Ermelian, right?" Ermelian nodded enthusiastically, while Kel just gave a curt jab of the head. 

"It's a pleasure to see you again, Lady Ermelian," Kel said smoothly. The other brunette smiled at her.

"No need for formalities, Lady Kel. I feel like I know you, from all Cleon's told me about you." 

Kel gritted her teeth. _'I _bet _he said a lot about me..."_

Cleon, noticing Kel's agitation, stepped between the two. "All of it good, though, Kel," he said almost nervously. Kel glared at him. 

Ermelian gave off a tense laugh. "Oh, come now. Of course it was all good." She looked between the two of them. Kel was looking at him angrily, while Cleon just seemed like he would like to be anywhere but here. The tension seemed to grow with every second.

__

'What in Tortall is going on?' Ermelian asked herself. _'She's acting like she - like she _hates _him. But I always thought they had a good relationship...'_

Moments went by, and abruptly, Kel dropped her icy glare. "I'm sorry," she told Cleon softly. "I'm just a bit uptight." Cleon's eyes softened. 

"Don't worry, love. I know." He put a hand on her shoulder and gave her a small smile. Unexpectedly, Kel leaned forward and onto his chest. Cleon moved to awkwardly put his arms around her. Ermelian's eyes darted between the two friends in a cross between shock and a suppressed possessiveness over her husband.

"Cleon," Kel breathed. "I'm tired." Cleon patted her on the back softly.

"I know," he replied. "Here, why don't we get you to the palace so you can get to bed? It's been a long ride."

Kel shook her head. "No," she replied wistfully. "No, I won't. I wouldn't want to miss seeing everyone." She shook her head firmly once more and looked resolutely at Cleon.

"But, love, I'm sure they'll understand-"

"No. No sleep. Besides, I'll dream..." Kel's voice trailed off to a whisper.

"Kel, are you sure you're all right?" 

She smiled strangely at him and raised an eyebrow. "Cleon, you weren't this concerned about me when we were _courting_ for Mithros Sake_._ Why the sudden worry?"

Cleon blanched and looked to Ermelian. She was regarding him with a rather calm look, strangely enough. _'The calm before the storm,' _he said to himself nervously. _'I knew I should have told her before... Now she's going to bite my head off...'_

"Er... Kel..." Suddenly, Cleon felt Kel leaning forward onto him. Cleon's eyes widened as he caught Kel before she sunk to the ground. "Kel?"

Kel had fainted.

__

'Well,' Cleon thought. _'This certainly gives new meaning to the phrase dead on your feet.'_

* ~ * ~ * ~* 

Kel walked through the vast field of wildflowers, a calm tranquillity spreading over her. It was peaceful here. No one to bother her, no wars to fight, no lives to save. It was perfect.

She yelped when she felt an arm grab her roughly from behind. Grabbing the culprit's hand, she flipped him over onto his back with a yell. So much for peace and tranquillity...

"Thanks so much, Kel," Neal said sarcastically as he lay on his back. Kel looked at him sheepishly.

"Sorry. I didn't know it was you."

"Well, who else would it be?" Neal asked, his sarcastic tone replaced with a happy grin.

"I don't know. Here, let me help you up." Kel reached out a hand for Neal to take. He did, and yanked her on top of him.

"Neal! Why did you do that?" Kel snapped at him. 

He grinned devilishly and raised an eyebrow. "Thanks, but I think I like you better when I'm on top," he said as he rolled over so that he was straddling Kel. 

Kel felt a steady heat edge over her cheeks. "Much better," Neal said as he bent over and ran light fingers over Kel's collarbone. Kel bit her lip. 

"Kel, Kel, Kel," Neal muttered. "We do have a problem, now don't we?"

"Yeah?" Kel asked, he breath coming faster as Neal leaned down over on top of her chest. "What would that be?"

She saw him smirk. "You're not screaming my name yet."

With that, he seized her mouth for his own, caressing it lightly one moment, pressing bruising kisses onto it the next. Kel's breath was hot and moist as it mingled with his. Her hands moved up from her sides to his hair, entwining slender fingers through brown locks. 

Neal steadily kissed down her chin and across her jawbone, moving down her neck slowly. He bit her gently, taking small nips at tender skin. Kel could feel herself throbbing. How was he so good at this?

He suckled her neck a bit longer, then moved down to collarbone. His hands reached the line where her shirt and pants met. Fingers danced across skin.

Kel shivered.

Neal paused in his kisses to edge her shirt up and over her head. He carelessly discarded it somewhere off to his left. It didn't matter where. He returned his attention to Kel. She was lying there, eyes closed, breath laborious. Her hands had fell to her side when Neal had removed her shirt. Neal grinned.

Slowly, he fingered her brestband. 

"Oh, gods," he heard Kel whisper. Neal's grin grew.

"I never claimed to be a god, you know," he told her. Kel's eyes snapped open as she looked at him. How could he be so bloody calm?

"Shut up."

"You haven't screamed my name yet. I won't stop until you scream my name."

"Who said I wanted you to stop?"

Neal grinned. "Fine then. Be stubborn." 

He flicked skillful fingers under her brestband and removed it. 

"Well, well, well. Look what we have here." He raised an eyebrow in appreciation.

"Fuck you, Neal." She grabbed his head and pulled him up to her, giving him a bruising kiss. He pulled away and smirked. 

"I'm working on it," he replied before returning his mouth to hers. They exchanged scorching blows, and somehow, Neal's shirt found it's way to the pile where Kel's was located. Kel ran fingers over his chest, wrapping her arms around his torso. She could feel him above her, pressing down on her.

"Neal," she murmured into his mouth. 

Neal pulled away. Kel looked up at him in agitation. "Well, it wasn't a scream, but it was close enough I guess." He grinned. 

* ~ * ~ * ~ * 

"Gah!" Kel cried out in frustration as she bolted up from wherever she was laying at the time. "Why won't he get out of my head?" She kicked something off her feet. Covers, she realized. Someone had put her into bed somewhere. 

__

'Cleon,' she mused. She faintly recalled fainting in his arms after telling his wife that they had been courting. She blushed. _'I suppose I shouldn't have done that.'_

Someone cleared their throat from behind her. Kel whirled around. Someone was here?

"I hadn't realized you had taken to murmuring my name in your sleep, Lady Kel."

* ~ * ~ * ~ * 

GAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE I WROTE THAT!!!!! I MEAN, JUDE DOES CALL ME SMUT GIRL, BUT _THIS_!!!!!!!!!!! OMG!!!!!!! WOW!!!!!!! I MEAN, NOT WOW!!!!!!! I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO BE _THIS_ CORRUPTED!!!!!! Well, you have to admit, it did _sorta_ fit. And I like it. Heh... Sorry to leave you with a cliffie. But hey. It's fun. For those of you who haven't tried it before, you should. It makes you feel so evil. ^_^ Thank you to all my reviewers. I think I got 24 in one chapter. I'm not sure if that's even happened in Rebound... well, actually I think it did. Whatever. I don't care. I just wanna say that you're all sweet. Oh, I met TP and she inspired me to get going with this chapter. Heh... the only thing I was sad at was that she said that Kel and Neal would end up killing each other in a relationship. Oh well. Whatever. I'll fill the rest of you in online. Right now I have to go type the thank yous and I wanna post really soon, so... here they are. Oh, and btw, at the beginning of every chapter I'm putting in a song. Just for the hell of it. This chapters song is about Kel and Cleon's friendship. If ya didn't get that. Oh, and do you think I have to up the rating? I don't really wanna cuz it won't show up on the main page, but... whatever. Here's the thank yous:

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Ti-Ti - See? I continued.

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Kate - You updated! Everyone is updating today! Oh, and I have to talk to you about that follow up to PD. I probably won't end up seeing The Ring, just b/c the only horror movie I've ever liked was Interview With the Vampire, and that was cuz of Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt. ^_^ 

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Flicker Fire Fly - I wonder if you knew that chapter 3 was up at the time. Huh. Well, whatever. Glad you liked it. I love that part too with the bantering.

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Arimel - Gah. No. Besides, someone else I know is doing one. Plus, I don't wanna be scarred for life. Actually, when I think of it though, it _could _happen... if K/Raoul could happen, then hey! Anything's possible...

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Sami - Torturing Kel is so much fun. She _is _in big trouble... *evil grin*

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Caffeine addict - Ah... Dom smells. Heh... well, I don't know if he smells, you wouldn't get that unless you read Philosophical Disagreements... thank you for your review. Rox is a funny word...

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The Pen Mage - Gaaah... it's such incredible fun... heh... we should all torture Kel. Oh, and cliff hangers are fun too. Fuuuuunnn... everyone's been telling me that Cleon is cool here. So... I guess he is. Heh...

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Shivohnsongbreeze - You have no idea how many times I had to look back to ff.net to spell your name... the dreams are so much fun to write. Heh... they're all lusty and fun... sexy Neal...

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Arctic Princess - Thanks! Oh, sorry for not getting back to you. I haven't been checking my email at all... *sheepish grin*

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Queen of Fluff - Ooo..... a Cleon killing party... funfunfunfunfun... hehehe.

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SiriDragon - Thanks for beta-ing the last chappie. 

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Chelle - gah. My teachers gave me soooo much homework over the weekend. It wasn't even funny. Gaahh... Kel's really having emotional turmoil now, isn't she?

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Aura - Alas, my job as a writer calls to give you more. Well... are you happy?

Merry - Gah. I haven't checked my email in the longest time. Sorry. ICBW stands for It Could Be Worse, and it's really long, so leave some time to read the entire thing. Scratch that. No one could read it in one sitting. Its freaking 500 pages, and that's just season 1. That sad thing is I'm not exaggerating...

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The Outre Dramatic - Oh, now you're ordering me about? Well then. *looks indignant* Humph. Heh... jk. Here you are.

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Judie - Galoshes. I'm not trying to put myself down. I'm just being... er... humble. Yes, that's it. Humble. YOU UPDATED YOU NINNY!!!! Lol Sorry, but I'm making this short. Everyone else's is taking up so much space, and I can just talk to you anyway. 

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Sekhmet - sorry for not getting back to you yet. I have had a major email sabbatical. Sorta. Yeah. Thanks so much for your review. I hope you liked the new chappie.

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MEE!!! - Heh... well, here it is. More. Yes... MOOHAHAH!!!!

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Lady Marie - Thank you! I am updating! See? *points at new chapter*

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Verilidaine - Well, everyone loves Neal. That's a given.

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Jossie - How do you not have ANYTHING? I have to go to school for another 7 1/2 months! Why??? It's unfair!!! But try not to expect the chapters _that_ often. I don't have _that_ much free time. ^_^

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Natalia - I hope you liked the new installment of the "screaming his name" saga, as I fondly call it. Heh... I have no idea which languages some of them were. Oh well. Im me or something.

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Min - I finished! Yes! MWAHAHA!!! Heh... Min of Stone Mountain. I like the sound of it. See, Cami of Queenscove sounds better than Stacey of Queenscove, so I don't use that. But M and M, man. Well, if you think of it that way, Min Mathers would sound good too! Gah! I don't know... 

Thanks everyone!

Much love,

Stacey


	5. Tangible Illusions

Disclaimer: Once upon a time, there was a little girl who thought she owned Tamora Pierce characters and all to do with TP books. That little girl was kidnapped by the IRS and dragged off to a mental institution off the coast of the Antarctic. I am not that little girl.

A/N: I don't care that I'm not being responsible. I'm not moving it up to R just yet. That could change, but... it's not likely. Only if I really do something... er... ya know. Right. Jude, I can't wait anymore. I had this finished on THURSDAY and I waited till today and you didn't finish betaing. So I'm just going to post. Bah. Ja everyone!

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These dreams go on when I close my eyes

Every second of the night I live another life 

These dreams that sleep when it's cold outside 

Every moment I'm awake the further I'm away 

Heart - _These Dreams_

****

Underneath the Surface - Chapter 4 - Tangible Illusions

Kel froze. She recognized that smooth voice, with all its haughtiness. 

__

'I am going to die_.'_

Slowly, she edged around, swallowing. Neal sat in a cushioned armchair, resting lackadaisically with one leg crossed over the other. He was drumming his fingers along the armrest with a smirk tugging across his features. Kel gulped. 

"You haven't answered my question, Lady Kel. Since when have you taken to murmuring my name in your sleep?" 

Kel's vision darted from Neal's plainly amused green eyes to the floor. '_No matter_ where_ I am, he always seems to unnerve me,'_ she thought furiously. _'What am I supposed to say to him?'_

Finally, she rested on neutral territory. "What are you doing here?"

Neal pretended to wince. "Ouch. Harsh welcome, Lady Kel."

She scowled. "Since when have you taken to calling me _Lady_ Kel, anyway?"

"Since you started acting like one." Neal grinned at her. She scowled again.

"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked him, eyebrows furrowing. 

"Well, a certain Cleon of Kennan has told me that you've expressed a particular interest towards a certain _cousin_ of mine. Maybe you could finally be ready to settle down...?" he smirked when she saw her outraged expression.

"You've obviously been taking too many of the narcotics that they have reserved for you healers."

"Are you implying that I am high?"

"Yes."

He glared at her. "Shut up." He sighed, then laughed. "Well, come here then. Give your best friend a hug." He got up to embrace her. "You know, I think you've grown some since the last time I saw you." She broke out into a grin. "Alas, you shall ever continue to grow." He grinned as he slipped his arms around her and held her tightly. 

"I missed you Kel," he admitted after releasing her from his hold. "Things have been... different without you." 

Kel cocked her head at him. "How so?"

Neal shook his head. "Just different." He suddenly grinned. "No one to tell me to eat my vegetables."

"But I'm sure you ate every one of them anyway, didn't you, Meathead?" she asked him, with a slight sarcastic tone in her voice.

He grinned. "Every last one of them, Milady. You can be assured of that." He held a hand up to her face and touched her cheek. Kel felt blood rush to her cheeks.

"Blushing?" Neal asked her softly. "Did you miss me _that_ much?"

Kel pulled back away from him, fleetingly forcing a smile a smile to save face. "If I said that I pined for you, would you leave me alone?" 

Neal pulled away and clutched his heart. "My dear Keladry, how could you say something like that? Do you not love me, as I love you?"

Kel froze.

__

'Damn dream.'

She laughed uneasily as Neal looked at her with concern. "Kel?" he asked, worry filling his voice.

"It's nothing. Just something I remembered from a while ago. It's nothing to worry yourself about." Neal raised an eyebrow and shrugged. 

"Whatever." 

They stood there for a moment until Kel asked him, "So what _are_ you doing here?"

Neal's expression became suddenly one of worry. "Cleon told me that you fainted."

Kel shifted edgily in front of him. "Yeah. I was tired." 

"Why?" he asked, his voice full of anxiety over his friend's state. 

"Haven't been getting enough sleep, I guess." Kel couldn't meet his eyes. He rested a finger under her chin and forced her to look at him.

"What's wrong, love?"

Kel felt her heart flutter ridiculously. This wasn't supposed to happen! He never gave her all these soft touches before! He was throwing her off course, with all these big words, like "love." She wasn't used to this from him! 

__

'Or maybe it's just the part of you that wants him to carry you off to his bed right now,' an evil part of her mind insisted. Kel mentally blanched over that thought. She felt like smacking that traitorous perspective of things.

She sighed and lowered her gaze. "I don't know. Everything has seemed so confusing lately." Neal frowned.

"How so?" 

Kel mentally hit herself. _'Why did I just say that? Why, Mind, why?'_

"I don't know. It just has been. With Scanra, and Cleon bothering me all the time, and you getting married, it's been crazy. I'm just glad to be home." She looked up into his sparking green eyes and found concern in them. He sighed. 

"Do you want me to give you a sleeping remedy? I can make those, you know," he asked her, bringing the finger that had been at her chin up to her cheek again.

"It's not so much not being able to sleep," Kel started. "I get to sleep just fine. It's staying asleep that's the problem."

"Dreams?" he inquired quietly.

"You could say that," she answered softly. 

"About what?" 

Kel froze. She hadn't had time to think of a good lie to tell him. Telling him the truth was certainly out of the question. What was she to say? Oh, Neal, I think I might just be subconsciously in love with you because I've been having _very _sexual dreams about you removing my breastband _quite _skillfully...

Kel found herself blushing. Neal raised an eyebrow at her sudden change in demeanor. 

Kel quickly replaced her blush with her trademark Yamani mask. "Well, you know. The war," she said as she attempted a small smile. 

Neal looked at her skeptically. "You were blushing over a war?"

"Yes, for your information. I was. So there." She crossed her arms over her chest and pretended to glare at him. He shrugged again.

"Whatever. I don't believe you though."

Kel snorted indignantly. "Sure. I don't care. Be quiet and stop prying."

He grinned. "Whatever you say, Lady Kel."

"And stop calling me that. It's annoying."

"Ah. The reason for my existence. How could I forget?"

Kel raised an eyebrow. "What?"

He sighed and let out a small chuckle. "Today, I was bothering Yuki for... _something_, I can't remember, and she said that being annoying was the aim of my existence. Or something to that effect." He grinned.

Kel snorted. "Poor Meathead. Always getting picked on." (A/N: *cough NATALIA cough*)

He smirked. "Alas! 'Tis true! I am forever damned to be the object of others' destruction!" He laughed, while Kel raised an eyebrow.

"That made very little sense." 

"Well, of course it didn't. Now, come on, I'm hungry. I've been sitting here all afternoon worried sick, and I'm getting food!" He took Kel's hand firmly in his and tugged her towards the door. Kel felt a steady heat coming from her hand.

"Neal, hold on, I'm coming! Stop tugging!" He abruptly turned around and stopped, Kel ramming into him from his incessant pulling. '_Damn that inertia concept,' _Kel thought furiously.

Neal's chest was up against her own, and she could feel heat coming from underneath his tunic. His hand had unconsciously slipped around her waist to keep themselves from falling when he had rammed into her. Her breath came hot and shallow as their eyes met. 

She suddenly found his lips on hers.

He was kissing her, and not just _kissing_ her, he was blowing her mind away. He was pouring sweet nectar onto every touch of his lips, and more so, he was doing it with ease. He kissed her with passion and heat and - _fire_. Kel thought after this kiss, nothing else could humanly compare to it. Sweet ambrosia came from his lips to hers, sparing her nothing. Her knees became weak. Was this really happening?

Slowly, Neal pulled back. Two distinct spots of color were visible on rosy cheeks. His chest heaved slightly, moving up and down in rhythm with hers. She found herself looking up into his _very _green eyes. 

__

'He has nice eyes,' she mused, her mind still in a daze. _'I wonder why I never noticed that before.'_

"Kel," Neal breathed. He tightened his hold around her waist. Kel gasped involuntarily. His hand had traveled down _far_ further than protocol. 

"Neal," she began unsteadily. "Why - why did you do that?" she asked him, her mind muddled in confusion. 

"I just-" he started. "I just wanted to show you how much I missed you. I told you about Yuki thinking I was annoying. Well, that's not exactly all of it." He looked at her uneasily. "Things haven't been going too smoothly since she got back from the Islands." He paused, Kel taking everything in. "And I - well, I've been thinking about you a lot..." 

Suddenly, he grinned sheepishly and shrugged. "Oh well."

He grabbed her roughly and lifted her up so that her legs were entwined around his waist. "Neal-" he silenced her with a bruising kiss. She broke away and looked at him as he walked over to the bed she had been sleeping on. "Neal, I don't think we should be..." her voice became softer as Neal kissed her neck. "...doing this..." She moaned softly when he shifted her weight onto one arm and used the other to unbutton her shirt. 

He placed her gently on the bed and finished the job of unbuttoning her shirt. He was kissing her everywhere his lips fell; her eyes, her cheeks, her neck, her lips. Their passions soon increased when Neal's shirt found it's way to a chair across the room. Kel groped wildly for skin as Neal undid the laces on her breeches. She found herself gasping when his hand slid across her hip.

She kicked her breeches off impatiently. They were always getting in the way! Neal's hands glided slickly over her legs. Her hips, her calves, her inner thighs...

She realized abruptly what she was doing. She was acting like some prostitute that offers herself for whatever a man could afford! Neal had never told her that he _wasn't_ with Yuki, he had just said that they were having problems. What if they were still betrothed? No one had bothered to tell her...

"Kel," Neal moaned into her mouth. Neal had discarded his own breeches just moments before. The only thing keeping them from being completely unclothed was their loincloths. Kel's shirt and breastband had disappeared a long time ago. Where they were, exactly, Kel had no idea. 

Neal slid his fingers over her loincloth. Kel shivered involuntarily. She could feel him on top of her. He was pressing onto her, crushing her. His hips were already grinding against hers. 

Suddenly, Neal stopped and grinned. 

"So. Having fun yet?"

* ~ * ~ * ~ * 

"What the fuck is wrong with me?" Kel voiced loudly. She felt something warm and lumpy at her back. _'What is that?'_

"Er... Kel? Are you all right?"

Kel whirled around to see Cleon sitting behind her. They were riding on Cleon's horse, Ermelian riding on Hoshi. Kel looked around strangely. 

"Wait," she said. "Where - where are we?"

Cleon raised an eyebrow. "You fainted. I was taking you to the palace so you could get the healers to check you out. I think something serious is going on here, Kel and I want to know what it is," he said thoughtfully. Ermelian had stopped Hoshi and was staring at the two of them. 

"Yes, you're just _so _concerned," she said dryly. Cleon shot her a look. 

"Mel," he started warningly. "Kel is my friend. I'm supposed to be concerned." Ermelian frowned, but turned away. 

"Fine." 

Cleon grimaced, but returned his attention to Kel. "Do you think you can stay on your horse on your own?" Kel nodded. "All right. Mel!" he called, turning to Ermelian. "Do you want to switch horses with Kel?" 

She felt like she would like it more than everything, considering the circumstances. Her pride, however, would not allow it.

"I'm fine here," she said pompously as she rode ahead on Hoshi. Cleon's expression drooped and he whispered to Kel, "we had a little... philosophical disagreement after you fainted." Kel nodded. 

"I'm sorry," she said softly. "I was out of it."

"I know," he agreed. Sighing, he continued. "Don't worry about it, though. It'll blow over eventually." She leaned back against him.

"Do you want me to talk to her?" Cleon's eyes shot open. 

"Gods, no! She'd probably end up slapping you with her glove and challenging you to a joust or something! And then I would have no wife," he added, a smirk starting to form on his face. 

Kel snorted. "I'm sure. She's that possessive?"

Cleon laughed softly. "It's not that she's possessive," he started. "We're still in that phase of our marriage where we try to get up before the other and clean our teeth so that our breath is fresh and clean when the other gets up. I know, I know," he said, seeing Kel's skeptical glance. "It doesn't make much sense, but we're early on. I think it scared her to think that something might be going wrong." 

Kel nodded. "I understand." She leaned back onto his chest subconsciously, and Cleon put an arm around her. They were silent as they approached the royal palace, until Cleon asked, "so what are you _really_ dreaming about?"

Kel stiffened. She hadn't wanted to discuss this with him.

"And don't bother to deny it. I heard you. You were quiet enough that Mel didn't, but I was behind you to keep you from falling off my horse. What's wrong, Kel?"

Kel relaxed and sighed. "I've been having dreams lately."

"I think we established that fact."

Kel shot a dirty look at Cleon, but dismissed it. "Yeah, well. They're... er... not too... chaste..."

Cleon's eyes lit up. "You've been having dirty dreams about someone?" He laughed. "Ah, I kind of expected it. You were, after all, making those weird noises when we slept together a couple of nights ago."

Kel scowled at him. "Yeah. They've been keeping me up lately. The lack of sleep is just starting to get to me, is all."

She sighed and leaned back against him again. She was so comfortable like this. Cleon was her friend, her best friend at times. He was the only one of her knights in training that had been up at the border with her, and they had spent a lot of time together. She didn't begrudge him for marrying another woman. She had felt the spark slipping away even before he had told her the news. 

They were silent for a moment, until Cleon spoke up. "Are you going to tell me who it is?"

Kel made no reply at first. She could trust Cleon. She knew that, and he knew that. He knew when to keep his mouth shut, believe it or not. Considering the circumstances, he _would_ do just that. But still... Neal was getting married. It would make things a lot more complicated by telling Cleon. Cleon would bother her, and say things like, "you should tell him before you let him go forever," and that kind of nonsense. And, knowing her, she would probably become so exasperated that she would do just that.

"No," she answered finally. Kel couldn't see him, but she knew he was frowning. '_Oh well. Let him frown all he wants.'_

Suddenly, a scream could be heard from the distance. Kel snapped her head toward the shout. Cleon turned his gaze in the same direction as Kel's. Up ahead, Ermelian stopped Hoshi and turned around, wanting to know what all the fuss was for. 

A rather frazzled looking Nealan of Queenscove was rushing towards them, barely trying to contain his glee. 

Kel froze. _'How... lovely.'_

"Kel!" he called. "Kel! You're finally back! You're finally back!" 

He rushed up to Cleon's horse, which, unfortunately for its two riders, reared up in shock of Neal's energetic arrival. Kel and Cleon both let out a yelp as the horse reared. Neal regained enough of his common sense to grab the reins and pull Cleon's steed down. Neal grinned sheepishly at the two as Cleon glared at him. Kel simply looked at him with the strangest look in her eyes...

"Heh... sorry about that. Didn't mean to scare the poor beast," Neal drawled. Cleon sighed in exasperation.

"Neal, I think you could scare just about _anything_ with that arrival of yours. Were you _trying_ to kill us?" Cleon asked him. Ermelian had jumped off Hoshi in an effort to reach Cleon before he fell. 

"Cleon! Cleon, my love, are you all right?" she asked him, worry filling her pretty blue eyes. 

Cleon grinned smugly at his wife. "Oh, I'm fine. You know me. I always come through in a pinch."

"And _you_!" Ermelian roared, advancing on Neal with a raised fist. "Who are _you_ to put my husband in such danger? _What_ do you think you were doing? You could have - have - _killed_ him, and _then_ where would I be? Husbandless, a widow, cold and lonely on the streets of Corus..." 

Neal slowly edged away while grinning nervously. "Heh... Cleon? Please call your wife off me. Please?" He backed up when Ermelian started on him. 

"Why, I aughta..."

"Mel, sweetie, I think you should stop. Sir Nealan is getting married soon and we wouldn't want to have to explain to Lady Yukimi how he died," Cleon said tensely to his wife. 

Ermelian sighed, and pursed her lips. "Fine then. Why don't you go jump off a bloody cliff?" she murmured under her breath. 

"Mel, my dove," Cleon started, jumping off his horse to leave only a perturbed looking Kel sitting there. "Don't worry. I won't leave you. Ever. I couldn't do that to you." He went up to her and took her hands in his. "I love you." 

The touching scene was interrupted by a rather loud snort coming from Neal. Cleon glared at him. Neal snorted again.

"Shut up, Neal," Cleon told him. 

He grinned at Cleon before turning his attention to Kel. "Well? Are you coming down or are you just going to stay there all day?"

Kel smiled tightly. Let the fun begin.

* ~ * ~ * ~ *

Heh... hope everyone liked. I think I'm seriously going to have to up it to R soon. I mean, they got pretty damn close... and I didn't leave you with a cliffhanger this time. I didn't know how bad an effect that could have on people... you were all quite angry with me. It was quite humorous. Heh... oh well. Anyway, I'm not going to bore you too much this time. I'm just gonna say that I love you all, and please keep reviewing. 77 in four chapters? Amazing...

Thanks go to:

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Fiona: I know _exactly_ what you mean about the strange looks the parents give you. Mine give me strange looks all the time. It's not even funny any more... *sigh*

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Huzzahuzza: Hmm... I am partial to the old name. I don't know why. Oh well. Hope to see more of the A/R. 

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Arsahi: Oh no. I have condemned myself to ceaseless prodding and poking. Darn... why did I tell you to read? Why? Gaaahhh... Oh well. Love Neal. Always love Neal. He's such a stud. ^_^

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Pam: Well, I guess I won't have to worry about your orange bananas then... hehe...

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Min: Heh... soft porn? What is this soft porn? Heh... well, to my 14 year old self, it feels very corrupted. You would feel like this too if Kate went and asked for your advice on how to write an NC-17 ff WHEN YOU WERE 14!!!!!! Gaaahhh..... sorry. Getting emotional again. Oh, and suuuuuure you're not a child molester. Heh... wait, no, then that means I can't have Draco either. Cuz that would make _me_ a child molester. Gaaaaaahhhhhh...... Actually, it wouldn't cuz we're the same age. I think. Gaaaahhhh...

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Kate: Gaaaaaaaahhhhhhh...... that's such a funny word. Heh... oh well. Anyway, Neal is soooo mine. Not yours, whorish person. MINE. M. I. N. E. As in MINE. Ha. So there. Take that and use it to fry your potato chips. Heh...

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Farah: Hmmm... well, I think I like it. The new name, I mean. It reminds me of the whole Farah Fawcett thing a little too much, but oh well. Oh, and free time? What is this free time? What's it like? Does it taste good?

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Jossie: During the summer, when they're no school, my mother thinks I have anemia because she says I'm just waaaay too lazy. Mothers are so jealous that they have to do work and we don't, aren't they?

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Brigid: Neal is mine. Get over it. OH, and thanks for reviewing. 

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'Chelle: Gaaaaahhh...... I get waaaaay too much homework all the time... don't even get started with weekends. The only tv I ever watch anymore is Gilmore Girls, Angel, and Smallville SOMETIMES. Gah. Oh well. Thanx sweetie.

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Natalia: Wow. That's so freaking true. Huh. None of us ARE corrupted until we come here. I mean, a year ago, I didn't know what an _orgasm_ was until I came here on December 5. WOW!!! ALMOST ANNIVERSARY!!!! I'll have to do something special for all of you... maybe I'll actually commit myself to finishing Rebound... hmmm...

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Lauzeik: Wow. I don't think I've ever been called a wench so far. YAY! Heh... OMG OLP SONG IS ON!!! YES!!!! Sorry. I have an unnatural obsession. *cough Min cough* Erm... no, they aren't going to have sex in the dreams. I'm saving that for... when they really do... ya know...

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Merry: Well. That was... pleasant. Just... lovely. Right. Anyway, thanks for reviewing. Mmmm... Wolverine... Hugh Jackman... mmmmmmm...

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Flicker Fire Fly: Thanks! A lot of people have been saying they love Cleon... what has this world come to???

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Melian: Thanks, sweetie!

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Judie: See? I called you Judie. Heh... omg I love your new story. I had to actually get up and calm myself before sitting back down. Heh... And I'm going to email you this anyway, so...

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Kenta: Heheh... smut smut smut... love the smut... even though it makes me feel corrupted... heh... oh well. I don't care. That thought with the Neal mage thing actually crossed my mind, but I decided against it. Cuz... I don't want the story going like that really. Loved your new chapter!!!

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Lady Marie: The best fanfic you ever read? Well. You obviously haven't read all of them. I mean, *stutters* Mine certainly isn't the - the - _best. _I'm trying to be modest here. Heh... I wouldn't like to be responsible for your death at all. Heh...

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Lady Sandrilene: I'm not holding it against you! Jeez! That day, I just felt random, and I was listening to Nirvana, and they just _do_ that to you. Ya know? Well, probably not, but oh well. Fanfiction has corrupted me. That's the only reason I would ever write a K/R. You might eventually get there one day. Heh... my friend wrote a K/Jon...

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Queen of Fluff: Thankies! Tomorrow?

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Dani: Hiya! Sorry I haven't gotten back to you. I've been on email sabbatical for like... 2 weeks? *grins sheepishly* OMG CONNER AND CORDELIA HAD SEX!!!! OMG!!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks everyone!

Much love,

Stacey


	6. Ode to Kel's Fingernails

Disclaimer: I'm not in the mood to think of something original for the disclaimer, so I'm just going to say I don't own them, and randomness forever. 

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I'm tugging at my hair  
I'm pulling at my clothes  
I'm trying to keep my cool  
I know it shows  
I'm staring at my feet  
My checks are turning red  
I'm searching for the words inside my head

Avril Lavigne - _Things I'll Never Say_

****

Underneath the Surface - Chapter 5 - Pillow Fun 

"Hey, Kel! Why don't you loosen up a bit! Come on, have some fun!" Neal called to Kel as she sat under the willow tree. Kel smiled and sighed. Neal was always pestering her to get out more. Why can't he just go away? It would make things so much easier...

"Kel?" Neal asked, suddenly appearing in front of her. Kel pulled back, a bit frazzled. She swallowed painfully, willing Neal to go away.

It didn't work.

"Neal, why don't you go talk to Cleon or something? He's been wanting to ask you something, I think," Kel said, trying to fester up an impression of annoyance and boredom.

"But I don't want to," he drawled. "I'm beginning to think that you don't want me here, Lady Mindelan," he said as he raised a teasing eyebrow. 

Kel glared at him. Why did he keep calling her "lady" and the like? It kept reminding her that she _was _a woman, and as a woman, she_ did_ have needs...

"Neal, I'm sure it was important. He was talking about it all the ride here. 'Oh, Kel, I have to tell Neal something when we get back,' was all he would say the entire time. Just go and talk to him, for Mithros Sake!" Kel looked up at Neal expectantly. 

Neal returned her look, a smile tugging at the corners of his face. He put a finger under her chin. Kel stiffened, and looked up at him awkwardly. 

"Shush with you. You're not getting rid of me any time soon. So take advantage of it, would you?" Neal silenced her with his lips on her own.

* ~ * ~ * ~ * 

Kel awoke, being jolted out of her otherwise peaceful sleep. She sighed. _'Just two more weeks of this. Just two more...'_

Kel had been out of her mind to come here. She knew that now. The gods were against her, anyway. Kel had been reclusive towards Neal after their crazed meeting this afternoon, almost cold in a way. He didn't notice though. He was too oblivious to notice _anything_, let alone something small like that.

__

'It's not like he's paid particular attention to you before,' a bitter part of her mind told her. _'Not when you had the crush on him when you were pages, or when you ignored him now. He's so gods cursed clueless I'd be surprised if he noticed Cleon dancing around in a pink tutu.'_

Kel couldn't help letting out a small laugh at the thought of Cleon dancing in a pink tutu. 

Groaning, she forced herself out of bed. Maybe an exercise would get her mind off things... and particular people...

* ~ * ~ * ~ *

"And there-" Neal said as they walked over to the stables "-are all the new recruits. Gangly bunch, aren't they?"

Kel snorted as she watched the new pages doing push ups with Eda Bell. They looked to be having quite a hard time of it. Only a couple were still going. The rest had to force themselves to even give the tiniest bit of effort. Kel winced as a small red-head boy collapsed onto the ground. Eda Bell trudged over to him, a scowl covering the features of her face.

"What's wrong, Hollyrose?" the Shang wildcat started.

"Merric's brother," Neal explained quietly as they passed them from a distance.

"Too _tired_ to keep going?" Eda continued. "Are you going to say that you're too tired when you're asked to save some children from a group of bandits? What kind of knight are you going to be, Hollyrose?" 

Hakuin Seastone was off a bit with some of the older pages doing some advanced Shang exercises. "Come on, knaves! You can do better than that! Put some effort into it!" he yelled as he watched the older b1oys practice. 

Kel shook her head. She knew _exactly_ what that felt like. 

Hakuin caught sight of Kel and her group as they were passing by him. "Pages! Keep practicing!" he told them as he jogged over to Kel, Neal and Cleon, a broad smile spread across his face. Ermelian had left them a while ago to "freshen up." Kel had mentally rolled her eyes when she heard that. No matter how much Cleon liked her, she was _still _a court lady, no matter how likable she was. 

Hakuin welcomed the three knights pleasantly, shaking their hands in greeting. "Well, if it isn't our three resident green knights! Back from the border, I suppose?" he said, turning to Kel in particular.

"We just got back today," Cleon said, answering for Kel. Hakuin smiled at the red head, raising a thin eyebrow.

"Do you make it a custom to answer questions addressed to others?" he said, amusement showing on his face. Cleon shuffled his feet in reply.

"It's not like you said, 'Back from the border, I suppose, Kel?' now did you?" Cleon asked, a small scowl crossing his face. Hakuin laughed. 

"Don't worry. I'm only teasing you." Turning to Kel, he raised a questioning eyebrow. "Did he always act like this when you were serving border duty together?" he asked, a jesting smile tugging across his features.

"All the time," Kel answered, grinning as she affectionately ruffled Cleon's hair. 

Hakuin turned to Neal. "And what of you, Sir Queenscove? I hear you're getting married to the ever beautiful Lady Yukimi," the Shang horse said, watching Neal's smile grow.

"Yeah. In two weeks," Neal responded. 

"I remember you when you were still writing poetry to Kel's fingernails. I think we're losing him," Hakuin said, turning to Kel and Cleon. 

Neal elbowed his former teacher jokingly as his cheeks turned steadily redder.

Kel stared at Neal in slight mortification. _'Neal - writing poetry - to my _fingernails_?'_ Kel thought. She shuddered. 

Cleon snorted. "Yeah, I remember that. 'Oh Kel, show me your beauty, grace me with your lovely fingers, with nails to match the Goddess's in splendor...'" He laughed. "Something like that. It was fun stuff though. Good blackmail material."

A loud 'twack' was heard as Neal's elbow connected solidly with Cleon's stomach. 

"Ouch," Cleon squeaked, clutching his abdomen.

"Serves you right," Neal scolded. "It's not like that's actually _true_ or anything..." He turned to Kel with an uneasy smile. "Er..."

"It's a good thing Yuki showed up when she did," Hakuin interrupted. "Else, Neal might still fancy our resident Lady Knight."

"Yes," Kel voiced, speaking for the first time since her recent revelation. "We wouldn't want that, now would we?"

"No," Neal agreed vehemently. "No, we _wouldn't_ want that," he said, glaring in particular at Cleon and the Shang horse. 

They went on to talk about more innocent subjects, Neal completely missing the look of disappointment that had crossed Kel's face.

* ~ * ~ * ~ * 

Grabbing her glaive off of its rack on the wall, she performed a series of complex maneuvers with it, immersing herself into her own thoughts in the meantime. 

__

'Why did Neal have to be like this? Why did he have to be so - so - senseless_! It's so - _frustrating_! It's like he's _trying_ to make me feel all... warm... and tingly inside!_

Kel winced at the mention of "tingly." It brought back memories from certain - _dreams_.

__

'And what is with_ these dreams? Are they _supposed_ to be this - this - _nice? _Since when have I had dreams about _Neal _anyway? I'm supposed to be happy for him, finally settling down, getting ready to raise a family, but all I can think of is how good a kisser he is...'_

Kel bit her lip. Not that she knew if he _really_ was a good kisser or not. She was just taking her assumptions from her dreams.

__

'Why is everything so confusing?' she thought, finally coming to a stop in her exercises. _'Maybe I'm just out of my mind.'_

Kel smirked. That was it. She could claim insanity. Yes. Insanity seemed quite realistic, compared to what she was dealing with now.

Placing her glaive back on its place on the rack, Kel looked longingly at the bed. Gods only knows what time it was. It could be anywhere from midnight to four in the morning. Her body was already worked into a sweat. She couldn't go to sleep like this...

Berating herself for her sheer lack of common sense, Kel exited her room, locking the door behind her. She needed some air. All was quiet in the palace of King Jonathan IV. No birds were chirping, no feet were scurrying across the stone floor. The world itself seemed asleep. 

Kel suddenly felt a chill run up her spine. Looking down, she realized that she only had on a thin nightgown. _'_What_ am I doing, really?'_ she asked herself noiselessly. 

She couldn't answer herself. All Kel knew was that she had to get out of that room. Away from her room, away from her bed, and away from all the memories of Neal that were currently racing through her mind right at that instant. 

Kel's feet padded softly across the corridors. She passed room after room, not exactly knowing where she was heading. She found herself stumbling past what she recognized as Cleon's rooms. He was probably in there, sleeping soundly with his wife. Kel was happy that at least _someone_ could rest in peace on this sleepless night.

She passed Owen's room. Owen was finally a knight, much to his relief. She could remember his exact words just as Wyldon was leading him away from the chamber:

"Well. It was a jolly fight, but I must say, I don't think chamber knew what hit it when I walked in there."

Kel smiled at the memory. Owen was one of the few people that could always keep her laughing. He was courting some girl - Jenna, Kel thought her name was. She wasn't too sure. They had kept in touch with scribbled notes and the like. They were both on border duty, just on opposite sides of Scanra. 

Kel wondered if Owen had come back from patrolling. Today had been so _rushed... _She hadn't been able to see anyone but Neal. 

And it had killed her every moment.

Kel walked blindly through the corridors, the only light emitted by the moon's eerie presence. Her spirits had dampened at the thought of spending more time with Neal when she couldn't touch him, or kiss him, or just do_ something._ If she was loosing her mind _now_, it would be _nothing_ compared to when she would have to watch him walk down the aisle. 

An ironic smile curved around her lips as she stopped in her tracks. _'It's not like I can do anything to stop it,'_ she mused sardonically. _'Neal _will _get married, whether I like it or not. Besides, I have to think of Yuki. She's one of my closest friends. I couldn't betray her by doing something - _stupid - _like telling Neal that I just _might_ have feelings for him...' _

"Who am I kidding?" Kel asked herself softly as she slid up against someone's door. It was silly to think that she could actually have - _feelings_ for Neal. They were just dreams. The only reason it made her uncomfortable to be with him was because she was constantly _reminded _of those dreams. "It's not like... like I actually have some _semblance_... of feelings for... him..."

Kel moaned and buried her hands in her hair. _'It's grown some,' _she mused randomly. _'I haven't had it cut in a while...'_

'Neal had said that he liked it...'

* ~ * ~ * ~ * 

"Pash the mash potashos, pleashe," Neal said to Cleon, extending his hand.

"What's that, Meathead?" Cleon asked, grinning in amusement. 

"I sashed-" Neal swallowed "-Please pass the mashed potatoes. And does everyone have to call me by that insufferable name?"

"Well, of course. It's just so much fun. Your face always turns a deeper shade of red," Cleon answered amiably. 

Neal glared at his red head friend as Kel passed the mashed potatoes to him. 

"Thanks," he said, turning to Kel and favoring her with a small smile. Kel nodded and went back to picking at her food. 

Neal frowned. "Something bothering you, Kel? You've been awful quiet today. I don't think you've said much to me besides 'hello.'"

Kel looked up, startled. "What? Oh, hello Neal. Fancy seeing you here. Eat your vegetables, like a good boy." She patted him on the hand and returned to her food. 

Neal stared at Kel self-righteously. "I'll have you know, Lady Kel, that I am a _man._ Not a _boy _as you so _wrongfully_ dubbed me."

"Really? But I thought that to be constituted as a man you would need backbone, and certain other-" Cleon coughed before he continued "-male characteristics."

Neal pushed his red head friend over, glaring at him. "Why don't you go shove it, Cleon?"

"Touchy," Cleon retorted as he picked himself up. "It's just good natured fun, Neal."

Neal shot Cleon one last spiteful gaze before turning his attentions back to Kel. "Kel?"

Kel looked up again, eyeing him with confusion. "What?"

Neal sighed as his frown slightly deepened. "Are you all right? You're acting very - peculiar. Or more peculiar than usual, at least."

Kel scowled. "Why is everyone so concerned about me all of a sudden? A couple of moths at war hasn't changed me _that_ much. And since when have you been so observant of my peculiarities? If I pointed out every time _you've_ acted strangely, Neal, I wouldn't have time to think!" 

Kel abruptly turned red as she realized how much of an outburst she had just had. Her gaze turned to her food, where she suddenly found her ham _very _interesting. 

Neal frowned and furrowed his eyebrows. What was wrong with Kel? She _never_ yelled at him. They only time he could recall her being angry with him was when he had called Garvey _gay_ for Mithros Sake! What was getting her so worked up?

"Well," Neal started softly. "I see one thing that's changed about you."

Kel's head shot up. She narrowed her eyes. "What would that be?"

"Your - hair," Neal began. "It's -longer. Different."

Kel scowled. "So? What of it?"

"No, no," Neal told her, reaching over and tucking a rogue strand behind her head. "Nothing like that. I like it. It's - pretty. It suits you."

Kel blushed as Neal's hand returned to his side. She swallowed, feeling her throat close up as her mouth suddenly became very dry. Why did he like confusing her so much?

"Well," Kel said abruptly. "Thank you."

Cleon looked between the two friends. What was going ton? Kel had seemed grumpy since they had received word of Neal's wedding. And she had been having dreams-

Kel cleared her throat loudly. "When's Yuki coming back from the islands?" she asked, addressing her question toward her green eyed companion. 

"In two days. We've already planned most of the wedding through letters. Whatever we haven't thought of, our parents have. I'm-" he faltered, then grinned. "-I'm excited. I haven't seen her in - too long." A steady burn came to his cheeks. 

Cleon snorted. "Haven't gotten some in a while, have we Queenscove?"

Neal blinked. Then he pushed Cleon off his chair.

* ~ * ~ * ~ *

Kel shook her head. That was Cleon for you. Painfully blunt, as usual. _'Those Mithran etiquette lessons were supposed to teach you how to have _tact_, not the atrocious thinks Cleon calls _manners.'

Legs protesting, she got up with a grunt. It was then that she first truly noticed her surroundings. The hallway was dark, save for a scant light coming from under one of the doors near the end of the hall. Kel frowned. Who would be up at this hour?

She snorted. _'Besides my lovely self, of course._'

She crept closer to the door, trying to get some of her orientation back. _'I remember taking a turn two hallways back... And then, I passed the rooms I had stayed in as a squire...'_

Kel inched closer to the door, hearing faint murmuring coming from inside. "It is similar to the relation of King Grishelm and his brother, Evern, the war mage... no, that's not right. Evern was his cousin. Tibolt was his brother... wasn't he? It's too late for this... I'm never going to do a last minute favor for Myles ever again..."

Kel furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. Who was that? She recognized the voice...she just couldn't place it... It was vaguely... familiar...

__

'Wait. I know that I took that turn back by Merric's old room... so that would leave me...' Kel tripped over her own feet when she realized who the voice belonged to. "Shit," she whispered as a loud 'thump' resonated through the hallway. 

The murmuring from behind the door abruptly stopped. Kel heard the scraping of chair against the floor. "Shit, shit, shit," Kel whispered repeatedly as she picked herself up and ran hurriedly towards her rooms as quietly as possible. She heard the door open, but by then, she had already turned the corner. 

Kel stopped to catch her breath when she was almost at her room. Leaning against the wall, she heaved in and out slowly, trying to return her breathing to a normal pace. 

Kel froze. 

Footsteps resonated through the corridor.

"Why me?" Kel asked softly as she ran down the last hallway to her door. Thanking the gods that she was too dazed to think of locking the door when she had first stepped out, Kel opened the door as quickly and _quietly_ as she could before slipping discreetly inside. Biting her lip, she turned the doorknob before closing it so the door wouldn't click shut. 

Breathing a sigh of relief, Kel leaned up against the door. She wouldn't be followed this far. Probably. Hopefully. 

Kel heard footsteps. Again.

__

'He doesn't give it up, does he?'

Kel bit her lip, shutting her mouth to force herself to breathe through her nose. _'This is getting ridiculous,'_ she thought fleetingly as she raced across the room on tip toes over to her sleeping quarters. 

Kel froze when a distinct knocking was heard on her door. _'Shit, shit, shit,'_ Kel repeated to herself over and over again. _'This is getting redundant, isn't it?'_

Kel debated her present situation over in her mind. She could either pretend she was sleeping until _he_ went away, or open the door. She weighed her choices in her head. _'Sleep, or open the door. Sleep, or open the door...'_

Kel walked over to the door and opened it.

"Hey."

Neal nodded to her. "Hope I didn't wake you up."

Kel hid her surprise behind her Yamani mask. Neal hadn't heard her outside his rooms?

"No," Kel said quickly. "No, of course not. I couldn't sleep. Come in." She opened the door wider so he could step in and then closed it behind him.

Neal frowned. "You're sweating."

Kel nodded. "I was practicing with my glaive."

"Ah." Neal was silent for a moment before continuing. "I had to do a last minute favor for Myles. He wanted me to write a paper or something for him. I couldn't think straight. I came to see if you were still up."

Kel raised an eyebrow at him. "And just what time do you think it is, Sir Queenscove?"

He shuffled his feet sheepishly. "Last bell was around a half hour ago. That was at... one? I think? I don't know." He grinned meekly. "That would make it 1:30 now."

Kel looked down and forced herself to swallow as she realized that she was still garbed in that same, thin nightgown she had left the room in. Kel blushed at the same time Neal noticed it as well.

"Do you always wear that to bed?" he asked.

"Well, I didn't exactly expect you to come creeping about my rooms at this ridiculous hour of night," Kel retorted, crossing her arms over her breasts. 

Neal's lips curved upward in a small smile. They stood there for a few moments, Kel looking down at her feet demurely, while Neal smiled bashfully, until Kel cleared her throat. "Well? Did you want something?"

"Not really. Just checking on you, mostly. And I had nothing better to do."

Kel raised an eyebrow. "What about that favor you had for Sir Myles?"

Neal grinned. "Shush with you. You know it's my nature to procrastinate."

Kel eyed him skeptically. "Really? I wouldn't have guessed, what with you loving to write so much. Composing poems to my fingernails... hm." Kel snorted when Neal turned red.

"I was young and stupid!" he protested. 

Kel's grin grew. "Stupid, eh? You were stupid to write poetry to me? To possibly _like _me? Yes, very stupid." She laughed when he scowled at her. "Oh, come now, Neal. You didn't _actually _write poetry to my fingernails, did you?" Neal didn't respond. "_Did_ you?"

Neal blushed. 

"Oh my," Kel said, a grin spreading across her face. "You really did..." She started to laugh, sniggers wracking her body. Slowly, Neal's blush faded and he began to grin too. 

"I can't believe you - wrote - poetry - to my _fingernails_!" Kel said as she gasped for air.

Neal scowled as he tried to hide his grin. "Oh... shut up, you." He gave her a light push in the shoulder. She looked up at him in amusement. He was looking down at her, just barely smiling, as if he didn't want to give her the benefit of seeing him grin stupidly. His hand was still on her shoulder, holding her ever so slightly. She glanced up into his eyes. They were sparkling with mirth and something - else...

"Neal," Kel said after she regained her breath. "You should probably finish - that - report thing... for Myles..."

Their reverie was broken by Kel's statement. Neal looked down at his feet and gave up his attempt to scowl at her. He grinned. 

"Do you mind if I stay here? I mean... it's lonely there. All I have to keep me company is that report. And-" he took her hand in his "-I've missed you, Kel."

Kel blushed unconsciously. Why was he saying these things? It almost made her want to love him when he acted so - perfect. 

__

'Like you're in love.'

Kel mentally shook her head. They certainly _weren't _in love, that was for sure. Neal loved Yuki, and as for her... well, Kel wasn't sure _who_ she loved. 

But it certainly wasn't Neal.

Kel looked up at him. He was looking at her so hopefully. Kel bit her lip. It would hurt her to say no.

Then again, in the long run, it would probably end up killing her if she said yes.

"Sure. I guess," Kel said, acting indifferent. _'Screw that saying no thing.'_ Kel winced mentally. "Don't blame me if Myles tries to hunt you down later, though. Where do you want to stay? Couch, bed…?" 

Kel found herself blushing. Why did she say bed, of all things? Stupid...

"My, my, my, Kel. Aren't we being promiscuous? You know I would just _love _to crawl into bed with you..." Neal grinned. 

"Oh, shush. You can sleep on the floor if you keep making remarks like that." 

He smiled sweetly at her. "Well, since you asked, I think I will take the bed. _You _can have the floor, if it makes you _uncomfortable._" He snickered as he walked over to her sleeping quarters. 

Kel sighed sullenly. She did _not_ want this to happen. 

__

'Oh, gods,' she thought suddenly. _'What if I dream?'_

"Coming, my sweet little cocotte?"

Kel glowered at him. She was going to stick something squishy into his bed _very _soon... 

"Of course, _Meathead._ I wouldn't _think_ of letting _you_ down."

Neal stopped at the foot of her bed. "Well of course not," he said as he started to turn around. I am, after all, _Sir_ Meathead to-" 

Neal yelped as Kel pushed him over onto the bed. She grabbed a pillow and hit him with it numerous times, despite his muffled protesting. "Kel! Stop! Hey! That's my hair! You're messing up my hair!"

Neal finally got up and grabbed her around the waist, pulling her down roughly next to him on the bed. Straddling her, he started to tickle her mercilessly. 

"Neal! Neal, stop! Hehe... _Neal_!" Kel gasped for air when Neal finally stopped. He loomed over her, laughing like a little boy at the festival. Kel laughed with him, until she realized that their faces were _very _close. She subconsciously held her breath. Neal abruptly realized how near his lips were to hers as well and swallowed. 

__

'What am I doing?' he asked himself. Their eyes met for the second time that evening, until Neal rolled over to lie next to her.

Kel didn't say anything for a while. They were both wrapped up in their own thoughts. Finally, she decided to take the initiative.

"Goodnight, Neal."

She heard Neal sigh. What was it a sigh of? Anger? Relief? _Frustration?_

She felt Neal take her hand in his. His hand was warm and comforting. "Sweet dreams, Kel." 

She smiled and willed herself to sleep. If she dreamed, she didn't remember it.

* ~ * ~ * ~ * 

A/N: Wow. I had originally planned for that to be sooooo much shorter. It's 11 pages, Verdana size 10. Heheh... I'm quite proud of it. I actually got through a chapter without having any big dreams and almost no kissing. Do you know how impossible it is for me not to rush things? Gaaaahhh... I sorta don't have time to write the individual reviews like normal. My father has me on a two hour limit for the computer. Apparently, I am an obsessive maniac who lives in the basement. Oh well. ^_^ Luv you all though. 31 in one chapter??? That's impossible! I looked at it and was like... woah. Like Keanu Reeves in the Matrix. Heh... he looked so... yummy there. ^_^ Bye everyone!

Much love,

Stacey


	7. The Spy Who Loved Me

Disclaimer: I own half of everything Neal owns. But that's it.

__

Through this world I've stumbled  
so many times betrayed,  
Trying to find an honest word,  
to find the truth enslaved,  
Oh you speak to me in riddles and  
you speak to me in rhymes  
My body aches to breathe your breath,  
your words keep me alive

-Sarah McLachlan - _Possession _

A/N: Dom's back for the wedding. That's why he's there. Oh, and this is dedicated to... er... Kate and Min. I hope this gives you courage through your trying times. Ha. Ha. Ha. You SO know I'm loving this.

Underneath the Surface - Chapter 6 - The Spy Who Loved Me

Darkness. She was safe here. Safe in the darkness. 

Kel had always thought that sleep was one of the best ways to delude yourself into thinking you were safe. When you slept, you didn't have to worry about Scanrans, or war, or duty. It was just emptiness. A vast, illimitable emptiness that could tend to swallow you whole. 

When Kel woke up that morning, she wished she could have stayed in that emptiness for the rest of her life. She kept her eyes closed. No sense in letting in the light. She was warm. It was always warm when she woke up. She snuggled closer to the warmth, dimly noting that the warmth was solid. 

"Hm," she murmured, gathering her arms and legs together into a ball. Hot air was blowing against her neck. It was comforting. She let the heat envelop her.

Kel noted a heaviness on her waist. What was she doing sleeping with practice weights on? It wasn't like her to forget to take them off... 

"Kel?" a soft voice murmured close to her. What was that? She couldn't remember...

"You up?"

Kel's eyes opened grudgingly, more out of curiosity than need. Her vision came out blurry, a myriad of brightness and colors swirling harshly around her. A pale visage of emerald green appeared before her eyes before her sight returned.

Neal looked down at her intensely, breath warm on her cheek. His arm had gripped her around the waist somewhere during the course of the night. It tightened involuntarily as Kel returned his gaze. 

She swallowed. 

Neal smiled at her suddenly. It was a boyish smile, full of charm and laughter. He blushed and tilted his head upward to kiss her forehead. Kel felt herself turn red all over. She wondered if he noticed. 

"Mornin', love," he said as he unconsciously tightened his grip on her waist while trying to stretch. Kel found herself up against his chest. She blushed. 

"Neal, your - arm," Kel found herself saying as Neal yawned. 

He raised an eyebrow. "You mean to tell me that after all these years I can't hold you? I'm hurt, lover." He let out a teasing smile. 

All the blood in Kel's cheeks seemed to drain. She turned pale. 

Neal snorted. "Oh, get off it. If I make you this uncomfortable, maybe you should leave."

Kel recovered enough to retort to him, "This is _my_ bed, Queenscove. _You _get out."

Neal smiled at her. "No."

He picked her up, despite her energetic protests, and dropped her neatly onto the floor opposite to the side where he had been sleeping. Kel swung at him, grabbing a clump of sheet in her hands on her way down. She held the sheet and pulled. 

Neal came down with a muffled yelp as he became entangled with the sheet. One of the sides had wrapped around his legs, yanking him downward and straight on top of Kel.

Neal glared at her. "Now why did you do that?"

Kel raised an eyebrow. "You kicked me out of bed."

"So?"

"_So?_" Kel replied incredulously. "It _is _my bed, whether you recall that correctly or not."

Neal growled at her. At last, he broke out into a smile. "Ah, well. At least now I have you _right_ where I want you." 

"And where would that be?" Kel said, not quite realizing what he meant.

He grinned. "This is the second time in two days that I've straddled you."

"Been keeping track, have we Queenscove?" Kel said, trying to keep her voice from cracking and the color away from her face. 

"You know I have. I need to keep tabs on my women, you know." He shrugged from on top of her.

"Fuck you, Neal."

"I'm working on it." He grinned when Kel's face turned bright red. She glowered at him before pushing him off her and getting up. 

"Hm. You deserved that. Now get out, I need to get dressed," she told him as she walked toward her dressing area.

"But that thin nightgown does suit you _ever_ so well," he remarked impudently. 

Kel turned around. "Do you _try_ to be pig headed?"

"Only when it's convenient." He snorted and stood up. Kel gave a frustrated sighed and walked over to the door. She opened it.

"Out with you. I'll meet you at breakfast."

Neal grinned and bowed. "Thank you for a wonderful time, Lady Keladry."

"Oh, can it Neal. Now go away."

"As my lady wishes," he said, turning to walk out the door.

"And stop calling me that!" Kel retorted as he started to walk down the hallway.

"Sure, milady. Anything you say, milady." She heard him laugh as she closed the door on his retreating back. Sighing, she leaned up against the door and closed her eyes. What was he doing to her?

Kel swallowed and forced herself to go get dressed. She had told Neal to have breakfast with him, and she wouldn't _dream_ of breaking her promise.

* ~ * ~ * ~ * 

Kel entered the mess, feeling out of place. She had always found her home here, from the time she was a child. Now, it seemed desolate and unfamiliar. Pages stopped to gawk at the second lady knight in hundreds of years. Squires whispered at her from their tables. Kel felt _quite _uncomfortable. 

"Kel! Over here!" a familiar voice called to her. Kel turned in the direction of the voice and was met with a pleasant surprise. 

She smiled broadly at Owen of Jesslaw, newly knighted and as green as ever. Kel walked over to her younger friend, barely able to contain her excitement. 

"Owen! Back from the border?"

He grinned as she got in line for breakfast next to him. "For the wedding. I'm under orders from My Lord Wyldon, and since he was coming down to Corus, he decided that I could get off a bit early. I got in a couple of days ago."

"Oh. I didn't see you when I arrived yesterday. How have you been?"

Owen cocked his head to the side and blushed. "I've been well. Things have been - well, _jolly_." He grinned.

Kel snorted. "Anyone in particular that you're blushing over?"

Owen looked down and smiled. "I asked her."

"Asked who what?" Kel asked in confusion. Owen blushed again. Kel stared at him in perplexity. 

Abruptly, Kel's confusion disappeared. "Owen! What did she say?" she asked, happiness bubbling in her voice.

He smiled stupidly. "Yes?" he said, making it sound more like a question than an answer. 

"Owen!" Kel voiced, jumping up to wrap her arms around her younger friend. "You're getting married!"

"I know! Jolly, isn't it?" he said as they danced in line. 

A throat was cleared nearby. Kel turned around. A squire, about 15, was looking down at his feet, looking quite uncomfortable. 

"Yes?" Kel asked, barely able to hide her smile.

"Milady, the line. It's moving."

"Ah," Kel said, feeling the edges of her mouth twitch upwards. "Well, thank you squire." 

She saw the squire blush before she turned back to Owen. "So, when did you ask her?" she asked in a much more subdued, quieter voice.

"Last night," was his reply. "I just can't believe it. It's all so - overwhelming. First Cleon, then Neal, now me! All we need to do is get _you _married off and we'll be all set!" he said, poking a finger at her chest.

Kel laughed. "I don't think _that _will be happening any time soon, Owen. I don't have time for romance, you know that."

"Come now, Kel. Don't tell me that you're going to be a spinster for the rest of your life. It would be like the female version of My Lord Raoul!"

Kel scowled at him. "Oh, be quiet. I don't need a husband. Not now, at least."

Suddenly, Kel felt arms wrap around her neck from behind her. Reacting without thinking, she gripped the owner's arm and flipped him over onto his back.

"Ouch."

Kel blushed. "Sorry, Neal."

"No you're not."

Kel pretended to think about it for a minute. Then, she replied. "No, I'm not."

"Payback?"

"Payback."

"We're even?" 

Kel sighed as she held out her hand for Neal to take. "We're even." Neal grabbed her hand and pulled himself up. 

"Thanks a lot, Kel," Neal drawled sarcastically. 

"You're very welcome." She smiled sweetly at him. 

Neal, noticing Owen for the first time since Kel had flipped him over, turned to his younger friend. "Hey, Owen. How are you?" Owen smiled.

"I'm jolly, Neal." He grinned stupidly again.

"Owen's getting married," Kel explained as Neal looked at Owen in confusion. Neal looked at her in shock for a second before turning back to Owen. 

"Married? To that Amatan girl? When did you ask her?" he asked, thrilled for the green knight. His lips curved up in a broad smile. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Well, I was _going_ to," Owen started. "But I just asked her last night! What do you expect of me, Queenscove? It was - er - late," he said, blushing. 

"Late? So, what?" Neal's eyes clouded with confusion. 

Neal suddenly overcame his bewilderment. "Oh. _Late._ I get it, man.

Kel smacked her best friend on the arm. "Is that _all _you think about?"

Neal grinned. "Basically."

Kel sighed in exasperation. He was _quite _hopeless.

Kel, Neal, and Owen grabbed their food and sat down at an unoccupied table. Cleon joined them just as they were starting to eat their food. "Well, if it isn't the three court jesters?"

"I think you need to sit down, Kennan," Neal said cheerily. "Then it can be the four court jesters. Like it should be," he smiled sweetly at Kel.

Kel snorted indignantly. "I will have you know, that I do _not_ belong to that group."

"Sure you do!" Neal said as he put an arm around her shoulder and pulled her close to him. "Ya gotta have friends, after all!"

Kel shrugged Neal off. "I never said I didn't have friends; I just don't want to belong to a clique of - buffoons, is all."

Neal clutched his heart. "Kel! I'm hurt! I'm a _clown_, not a buffoon! How could you mistake me for that kind of - _creature_?"

Kel snorted as Cleon observed what had just passed. Neal had hugged Kel around the shoulders and Kel had pushed him away. Why? They were best friends. She shouldn't feel uncomfortable around him, should she?

"All right, all right," Owen interceded. "That's enough from the two of you. Neal, eat your vegetables." 

Kel and Neal stared at him. He blushed. "I thought I would save Kel the trouble." 

Kel snickered while Neal shook his head. "I'm doomed..." he murmured softly. "I will never escape them. Alas."

Cleon raised an eyebrow. "Right. Well, I'm off to get breakfast. I'll be back in a few minutes."

"Bye, Cleon!" Owen said as the red head walked toward the breakfast line. Kel laughed as she returned her attention to her plate. The pancakes here were good...

"My, my," a voice droned from behind Kel and Neal. "What do we have here? Two resident green knights. And I thought I had gotten rid of you back at New Hope. Darn." 

Kel and Neal turned around to a familiar blue eyed sergeant. "Dom!" Kel cried as she jumped out of her seat and embraced him. 

Neal looked on at them with a strange sort of feeling. It ate at him, devouring him from the inside. A surge of possessiveness overcame him as he stood up.

"Domitan," Neal drawled. "So _very_ good to see you, cousin."

"And you, Sir Meathead," Dom answered, as he released Kel, still holding an arm around her waist. Neal felt a low rumble come from the back of his throat. He shouldn't be holding Kel like that! He hadn't even - even - announced his intentions yet! It wasn't proper to hold a lady such as Kel when he hadn't proclaimed to court her!

__

'Hypocrite.'

Neal shook the feeling off. He still had to put on a good show for his closest cousin. "I'm surprised they let you out of that mud pit you call home, Dom. I didn't think they thought you would be _ready_ for civilized society just yet," he uttered stuffily.

"Speak for yourself, _Meathead_. I really can't be _bothered_ with your childish bickering with the beautiful Lady Keladry in my arms." He flashed a dazzling smile to her and she blushed. 

Neal felt a surge of anger well inside of him. How could he just - just - _do_ that? They weren't even - _courting_ for Mithros' Sake! At least show some decency in _public_!

"Yes, well I'm not the one still calling people childish nicknames. You really need to grow up, _Domitan._"

Neal turned away from him and crossed his arms over his chest, gazing haughtily over the mess. He heard a snort coming from Dom's direction. The snort repeated itself, this time coming in faster succession. Finally, it became an all out laugh.

"Oh, come here, you Meathead. Give your cousin a hug," Dom said as he laughed and drew Neal into his arms. Neal felt himself hug him back, albeit a bit reluctantly.

When Dom released him, Neal sat back down in his chair, beckoning both Dom and Kel to do the same. He turned to Owen. "Oh, Owen. By the way, have you met my cousin, Domitan of Masbolle? He's a sergeant in the King's Own." 

Owen smiled and extended his hand to Dom. "I've seen you around, but never actually introduced myself. Sir Owen of Jesslaw."

Dom held out his hand and shook Owen's. "Pleasure to meet you, Jesslaw. I think I've seen you too. Wyldon's squire, right?" Owen nodded. "I'll tell you, it was a surprise to hear that that old crone had taken a squire. Always so stiff..." Dom laughed. "I had him once in a training simulation. He was hanging around the Own's barracks and My Lord asked him to run an exercise." He grinned. "I always knew you were insane for wanting to be a knight, Meathead. That just proved it." Dom affectionately ruffled Neal's hair.

Neal looked at him indignantly. "Please. Not the hair." 

Dom snorted. "You're worse than a woman, Queenscove." 

"I happen to take pride in my appearance," Neal retorted, pursing his lips together. "I _care_ what I look like, unlike you, swine. Rolling around in the mud like a commoner."

Kel frowned and opened her mouth to speak. "Neal, I know you like to play the insensitive noble, but it doesn't really suit you."

Neal shot her a glance. He was about to say something, but changed his mind. "Sorry, Kel. I know you care about them." Kel tightened her lips, but relaxed them a moment later. He was making an effort, at least.

"It's all right," she murmured softly, looking down at her food. Dom looked at the two of them. They were being ridiculous. So - _formal._ They were never like this before...

"Oh, come now, you two. Lighten up," Owen said from his place on the other side of the table. 

"Yeah," Dom chimed in. "No need for conflict. Especially not this early in the morning." He yawned, as if to prove his point. 

Kel looked up at Neal. His green eyes looked on at her softly. He placed his hand over hers and smiled tightly. 

"There we are," Dom said, satisfied at the job he had done. 

Kel leaned and rested her head on Neal's shoulder. She felt him stiffen a bit, then relax. Kel sighed and picked at her pancakes while Dom and Cleon talked about - _something. _She thought it might have been Scanra, but she could have been wrong. She couldn't pay attention when she was resting so comfortably on Neal's shoulder, eating breakfast like it was an ordinary day. 

__

'It could always be like this,' Kel thought absently. _'If you and him were - well, together. We could be happy. I could be happy.'_

Kel swallowed and stabbed at a stray sausage. It would never happen. Neal was getting married in two weeks. It wasn't going to change because she thought that she might - _fancy_ - him. 

"Hello all!" Cleon said, coming up from behind Kel. She jumped. Cleon laughed at her restlessness. "All right there, Kel?"

She nodded to him, slightly perturbed. "Of course, Cleon. Just gave me a scare, is all." 

"Hm," he said, pulling up a seat next to Neal. He noticed Dom sitting on the other side of the table. "Who're you?" he said, stuffing a hash brown into his mouth.

"Domitan of Masbolle. Friends call me Dom," he answered, holding out his hand to Cleon. The red head shook it and returned his attention to this breakfast.

"He's Cleon," Kel told Dom. "He has absolutely no manners or tact, so don't expect him to be polite. He's a rude ungrateful clown who wouldn't know a delicate situation if it hit him in the head with one of Lord Raoul's lances."

Cleon waved a hand at Dom while still eating a sausage. "Thash me," he said in between bites. 

"A pleasure, I'm sure," Dom replied, raising an eyebrow. 

"Hm," Cleon grunted as he started on his pancakes. Dom returned to his conversation with Owen on - _whatever _they were talking about, and Kel and Neal finished their breakfast in comfortable silence.

Kel finally stood up when she was finished. All of the others looked at her. "I think I'll be heading back to my rooms now," she announced. Dom stood up quickly.

"Well, I'll just have to - er - accompany you," he stuttered. Blushing, he continued. "I was hoping we could talk. I haven't seen you in a while, Kel, and - er - I _would_ like to be updated on all the important things happening in your life."

Kel blanched. What was Dom doing? Why was he suddenly nervous? 

"Uh... sure Dom. If you want to," Kel replied uneasily. Cleon snickered. "What's wrong with you, Cling-on?" Kel snapped at him.

Cleon snorted. "Nothing's wrong, Lady Kel. Nothing," he said, turning to Owen, who was also grinning. 

Kel turned to Neal, who was looking, surprisingly, indifferent. "And what of you, Neal? Do you find this funny as well?"

Neal looked up at her and raised an eyebrow. "Not at all," he answered seriously. Kel pulled back and swallowed. That was - _strange..._

"Well, good. Now, if no one else has any particular qualms about me walking Kel to her rooms, I suggest that we leave. Milady?" Dom asked Kel, holding out his arm to her and grinning. Kel swallowed and gripped her arm reluctantly. She didn't want to seem rude, but she also didn't want to be teased relentlessly by her friends later either.

They departed, leaving a tittering Cleon and a cackling Owen in their wakes. "Are they always like this?" Dom asked as they walked through the mess' exit.

"Most of the time," Kel admitted. "Although, I think they're just happy that they have something to finally tease me about."

Dom smiled perfectly. "You mean they don't tease you already, mother?"

Kel glared at him. "Very funny, Dom."

Dom grinned.

* ~ * ~ * ~ * 

"You _do_ know that we have to spy on them?" Cleon told his two friends at the mess table. Neal's head shot up. 

"Well, of course. It's our duties, as Kel's friends," Owen chimed in. "We need to make sure this Dom fellow is all right for her. I'm not going to hold the fact that he's related to Neal against him, mind you. He _seemed _perfectly nice."

"But we can't be sure," Cleon uttered. He stood up. "Come, followers! Onward!"

Owen stood up as well and got behind Cleon, ready to go and spy on Kel. 

Neal raised an eyebrow. _'This is ridiculous.'_

Cleon, noticing that Neal didn't share their particular enthusiasm, turned to him. "Aren't you coming, Neal?"

He glared at the two other knights. "I don't have to spy on my own _cousin_ for Mithros' Sake. Besides, he's with Kel. Kel wouldn't do something stupid like rush in to a relationship. Give her some credit."

Owen looked down at him, a bit disappointed. "Oh, come on, Neal. It'll be fun! Trust me!"

Neal sighed. How did he know that this would end up painfully?

"Oh, fine. But I'm blaming this all on you two," he grumbled as he got up off his seat and joined his friends. 

"I'm going to regret this."

* ~ * ~ * ~ * 

"So, Kel. How has life been treating you?" Dom asked as he and Kel rounded a corner. Kel sighed.

"Well, for the most part. I've been on border duty for a long time now. The war gets tiring after a while." Dom nodded understandingly. 

"I know what you mean. The worst part sometimes is just waiting around for the Scanrans to strike. It kills you to not know what they're plotting over there."

"Doesn't it?" Kel replied. "Sometimes it seems like I'm the only one fretting over this war. Everyone else seems so - _calm._ I wonder how they do it, sometimes."

Dom looked at her skeptically. "Kel, do _you_ ever show any emotion in war?"

Kel pursed her lips and looked to her feet. "Well, no. But that doesn't mean I don't feel anything."

"It's the same with them," Dom replied. "With all of us. We all have our fears about this war. Whether we chose to voice them is preference. Where you were posted, I suppose, most like to keep quiet."

Kel swallowed and didn't respond. Dom looked at her fretfully. "Kel?"

"I don't know, Dom," she started. "It's been hard. I've been up there for months, not seeing a familiar face-" she snorted "-except for Cleon of course." She paused. "But here, everything's so much more - relaxed. It's different. It's almost like coming home to find yourself in a foreign land. I can't explain it well," she said softly. They had stopped walking. 

"Look, Kel," he started, gripping her shoulders tightly. "We all feel like that sometimes. But the palace will always be a home to you. You'll always be welcome. You _do_ know that, don't you?"

Kel sighed and looked down at the floor. Sullenly, she nodded. "I do," she started quietly. "Things are just changing so quickly though. It's - hard."

He moved to cup her cheek with his hand. "Don't worry, princess. You'll get through it. You always do."

Kel swallowed and looked up at Dom. What was he doing? Why was he acting so - Neal-like?

Dom simpered and removed his hand from Kel's face. She let out the breath she didn't know she had been holding. "Would you like to take a walk with me, Lady Knight? In the gardens, perhaps?"

Kel weighed her options. Dom wanted to take her to the garden. She had heard how men had taken women there over the years to court then. Seduce them, even. Sure, he was nice enough, but he was _Dom._ Neal's cousin. He was handsome, sweet, kind... but Kel just wasn't attracted to him.

Then again, she didn't want to seem rude. 

"Sure, Dom. I'd like that."

He smiled at her. "Well then milady. We should be walking in the opposite direction then," he said as they turned around and started walking towards the gardens.

* ~ * ~ * ~ * 

"Hey! Where are they going? They're turning around!" Cleon hissed. "Crap, get back, guys! Or they'll see us!" Cleon, Owen, and Neal scampered down the hallway in an attempt to avoid Kel and Dom. They had been spying vigilantly for a while now, watching Kel and Dom with the utmost attention. 

Well, more correctly, Neal had been watching with the utmost attention. Owen was off in dreamland fantasizing about his betrothed and Cleon was thinking how good the toast had been in breakfast. 

Now that they were in danger of being caught, however, the two other knights had snapped to attention. They hurried quietly to the other side of the hallway, praying to the gods that Kel and Dom wouldn't see them. That would take the fun out of their most enjoyable outing.

They had rounded a hallway just before Kel and Dom turned into the corridor they had been standing in moments before. Owen breathed a sigh of relief. From there, they continued their spying more carefully and attentively, making sure that they weren't caught by surprise again. 

The trio watched Kel and Dom walk into the gardens. "Why do you think they went there, instead of her rooms?" Cleon asked absently. 

Neal elbowed him. "Shush. Don't speak so loud. It's probably better that they went to the gardens instead of her rooms, when you think about it." 

Cleon gazed at Neal. "Honestly, Nealan. Can you revert your mind away from sex for one single blessed minute?"

Neal shot Cleon a dirty glance, then turned back to spying at Kel and Dom from inside. "I can't hear what they're saying. We need to get closer," he voiced. 

Owen nodded. "We can hide in those bushes over there." He pointed to a cluster of shrubbery a bit off from where Kel and Dom were walking. 

Cleon nodded. "Yeah, I think that's a good idea. Come on, let's sneak over there," he said quietly while getting down on his hands and knees.

Neal eyed him skeptically. "You _have_ to be kidding me. I am not _crawling_ over there."

Cleon looked up at him. "It's the only way to get there without being caught. Unless you _want_ Kel to know that you've been spying on her." Neal scowled at his younger friend. 

"Fine. But no one will hear of this. Ever. Do you understand, Kennan? That means you too, Jesslaw." 

Cleon snorted. "Fine. Let's go." 

"Owen?" Neal asked impatiently.

Owen nodded. "Of course not, Neal. That wouldn't be very jolly."

Neal rolled his eyes. Him and that jolly... 

* ~ * ~ * ~ *

"So how are things with My Lord?" Kel asked Dom attentively, strolling through the grand garden of the Royal Palace. It was a mildly cool day, for the middle of September. The leaves were already starting to fall. The flowers, however, were still as beautiful as they had been during the first buds. 

"Raoul? He's as comical as ever. A bit busier with Buri's pregnancy, but still comical. He'll make a good father," Dom replied. 

"Well, I already knew _that_," Kel told him. "He hasn't been playing any practical jokes on Lord Wyldon lately, has he?"

Dom snickered. "Well, I do remember an incident with a certain pie..." He laughed. "But other than that, none. He hasn't had _time_ to torture us with his _jokes_ with Buri snapping at him every five seconds. You would think the woman was going through her changes."

Kel scowled at him. "Well, she has been carrying around a baby in her stomach for almost nine months now. I don't think _you_ would be very happy about it either, Domitan of Masbolle," she retorted.

"Touchy," Dom answered. "Don't worry, Kel. I'm only joking with you." He laughed, and eventually, Kel joined in. She ended up looking up into his clear sapphire eyes. Abruptly, Dom's laughter stopped. He looked at her with such an intense look, she was afraid he might-

A figure appeared in the corner of Kel's eye, scurrying across the gardens on hands and knees. _'What the?' _Kel thought as she turned her face away from Dom's just as his mouth was about to reach hers. Dom was left standing there staring, as Kel watched the nearby bushes. 

"Did you see something in those bushes? Kel asked him, looking over his shoulder and into brush. Dom turned around.

"No," he started. "No, I don't see anything. Now, Kel-"

"I could have sworn I saw something in there," she told him, craning her neck to get a better look. Dom sighed. 

"Kel, I need to tell you something!" Dom announced loudly.

"What?" Kel asked, walking away from Dom and toward the bushes. 

"Kel, would you come back here? There's nothing there!" Dom called to her as she walked closer to the shrub. "Kel!"

Kel heard a curse come from behind the bush. "Shit." Suddenly, she saw a familiar patch of red hair pop up from near the back of the bush. 

"Heh... heh... Kel. Hello. Fancy seeing you here. Lovely day, isn't it?" Cleon said nervously. Kel narrowed her eyes.

"You were spying on me," she stated dully. 

"Um... no?"

"Really, Kel! We weren't!" Owen said as he jumped up. A yelp was heard as a frazzled Neal tripped and fell forward due to Owen's energetic announcement. The green-eyed man fell on top of the bush and right onto Kel, knocking her down. 

Kel looked up at Neal, the breath knocked out of her. They were lying on the ground of the palace gardens, faces close, Neal on top of her. Lovely.

"Eh... hi Kel," Neal breathed as he propped himself up on two elbows. He remained on top of her.

"Neal," Kel replied. "What are you doing?" 

He laughed apprehensively. "Well, whatever we were doing, it wasn't spying on you and my cousin," he said.

Kel gave him a skeptical look. "Really? Then what were you doing in a bush?"

He blushed from on top of her. "Er... I was looking for a sample of a certain plant for a medicine for my father, and Cleon and Owen decided to join me?" 

"Is that a question or an answer?" Kel asked, raising an eyebrow. 

"Uhm... my, this position is getting very familiar, don't you think, Kel?" Neal asked, causing Kel to blush.

She smacked him on the head lightly. He yelped. "Don't change the subject," she told him authoritatively.

"Hey! Neal, get off her!" Dom called from behind them, snapping out of the stupor that he had been in since Kel had discovered his cousin and their two friends spying on them. He grabbed Neal roughly by the scruff of his tunic and pulled him off the Lady Knight.

"Ow!" Neal cried as he got to his feet. "Did you have to do it that - brutally? That hurt!"

"Good," Dom told him as he reached out a hand for Kel. She stood up. "You deserved it. Spying on us... the nerve. I really should tell Uncle of your behavior, Neal."

Neal blanched. "Father? No... I don't think his poor heart could take it! Don't put him through that!" he told his cousin.

Cleon and Owen snorted. Neal turned to them. "Do you have something to say, you uncivilized savages? I told you this was a bad idea!" He turned to Kel and Dom. "They made me do it! I swear!" 

Cleon and Owen shook their heads while hiding barely contained grins. "No, no," Owen started. "Neal even _thought_ of this jolly idea!"

"Yeah," Cleon joined in. "It was all his scheming. He didn't think that we could trust his cousin with our _lovely_ lady knight," he said, flashing a smile to Kel. She scowled at him, then turned to Neal.

"Neal?"

His eyes bulged. "It wasn't me! I swear!" He backed away from Kel. "It wasn't!" He swallowed. 

Kel shot him a doubtful glance, but dismissed it. "Let's just go back inside," she started, sighing. Neal let out the breath he didn't realize he was holding. Cleon and Owen laughed quietly while Dom shot Neal a dirty glance. 

Together, they all went inside, Kel slightly redder than she had been before.

* ~ * ~ * ~ * 

A/N: So... you liked? Yay... I did. I thought it was... interesting, to be sure. I mean, I'm not one to say that my fics are good; usually I'm all... "They suck, I hate this chapter, yadda, yadda, yadda," but I like this for some reason. Maybe it's that I have actual plot development. Hm. Could be. Wow. Plot development. Me. Wow. Oh, and be happy. 15 pages. Full. Heh... anyway, love you guys. You're all so sweet... reviewing my story and such. If you email me, please put ff.net, UtS or Rebound as the subject. Or pink bunnies. They're fun... love you all. You "rock my box," as Min would say. 

Much love,

Stacey

P.S. The part with the pie... that was semi inspired by Valencia22'sApple, Cherry or Blueberry? Go read it. It's funny. Now knave. But review first. Heh. Heh. Heh. 

P.P.S. Sorry, Judie. You told me that you weren't going to be checking your mail for a while so I sorta figured that you wouldn't get this for a while. Love ya though.


	8. Gravity

Disclaimer: Not last time I checked. Although, green gremlins are known to sneak into my room in the middle of the night and drop unexpected presents. Unbeknownst to my wonderful self, of course. Ah, well. Such is life. 

A/N: This is what comes from reading thee uncut version of Fallen Idols too many times.

Underneath the Surface - Chapter 7 - Tension

Kel walked down the steep hill leading to the clearing below. The trees moved languidly in an amiable wind, swaying in tune to the graceful music the breeze carried with it. The clearing itself contained flowers of every species and breed, from the most humble daffodil to the grandest rose. Kel breathed in the scent of her surroundings. Exhaling slowly, she made the rest of the way down the hill.

Suddenly, she found herself tripping - over a rose bush, she noted absently. She winced as she slapped the ground and continued rolling down the hill. Kel grabbed onto the grass and clung to it, forcing herself to stop. Apparently, the hill had been steeper than she had thought. 

Kel breathed out. So much for serenity... why was it that whenever she was having a peaceful moment, it had to be ruined?

She heard laughing coming from nearby. She raised her head to look at a pair of boots. She clenched her teeth together.

"Well, hello Kel. Fancy meeting you here? What's up? Or should I say down?" Neal asked her, grinning down at her as though her current position was immensely funny. 

_'Not that it wasn't,' _Kel thought dryly. "That was terrible, Queenscove. And I thought Cleon was the master of bad jokes." 

He cocked his head. "I thought I would fill in for him, since he's not here." He held out a hand for her. "Here. Get up."

Kel eyed his hand suspiciously from her position on the floor. Then, she grinned. Grabbing his hand, she pulled down and rolled over at the same time so that she straddled him. 

"My. Aren't we the promiscuous today?" Neal said as smiled from beneath her.

"I bet you're just loving it," Kel replied, bringing her lips close to his. He smirked at her, before reaching up to capture her lips. 

He was met with air, as Kel suddenly pulled away. Neal furrowed his eyebrows. "Kel?"  

Kel creased her forehead, frowning. Neal looked up at her with raised eyebrows. "Kel?" he repeated, reaching up a hand to her cheek.

She sighed, bringing up her own hand to cover his. She nuzzled his palm, kissing it once before rolling over onto her back next to him. 

Neal gazed at her. She was lying there placidly, hair spread around her face like an angel. Her eyes were staring up at the sky blankly, unseeing. He longed to pull a stray piece of hair off her face that had unintentionally fallen onto it. Instead, he kept his hand at bay. 

He had decided that she would be the death of him.

She was so pure, just lying there like some divine being. She was just so incredibly - _perfect_. Something he could never be. He propped himself up on one elbow and stared at her. Her eyes closed for a moment before turning her head to face him.

She stared at him, hazel eyes penetrating. There was something about them that was just - enrapturing. She slowly rolled over to drape an arm over his chest. 

He stiffened slightly. Kel pulled him closer and buried her head into his shoulder. Her breath expanded across the nape of his neck. 

Breathe. 

Just... breathe.

Neal swallowed and moved his hands so that they encircled the small of her back. He felt her settle in more comfortably, resting her legs on either side of him. If she kneeled, she would be straddling him. Again. My, things were getting repetitive. 

She exhaled slowly before raising her head off his chest to look at him. Her hair fell gently in soft waves to tickle his chin. Hazel eyes stared seriously at him. Neal found himself drowning in opaque pools of green and brown.

_'I'm falling for her all over again,'_ he thought mutely as Kel slowly bent her head and kissed him.

Her mouth slid gently over his, just testing him ever so slightly. He returned her kiss gingerly, not rushing her into something too quickly. 

_'Something? Just what is this something, really? What am I doing?'_

Kel placed her hands on the side of his face to cup his cheeks. Neal's hold on the small of her back tightened, fingers pressing into the soft fabric of her shirt roughly. Kel arched her back when her hips unwittingly rubbed across Neal's. 

Neal pulled away, cheeks red from a fire that he had thought quenched for a long time. His breathing steadily increased as Kel stared down at him for a moment. Dipping her head, she brought her lips down to meet his jawbone, trailing a line of small, lingering kisses down his neck. Neal gasped when her teeth grazed the hollow of his neck. 

He saw her smile against him. She was bloody well enjoying this.

_'I'll have to make sure she doesn't have all the fun,'_ Neal thought as he roughly grabbed her by the arms and pulled her back up to him for a scorching kiss. Kel moaned against his mouth as Neal removed one of his hands from the small of her back to cup the back of her head. Forcing her lips upon his, he wrapped his legs around her tightly and in one smooth motion, flipped her over onto her back.

He grinned and sat up on top of her. "You don't get all the fun, I'm afraid. I still get to be on top."

Kel raised an eyebrow and smirked."We'll see-" she tightened her grip on his legs "-about that," she said as she twisted him around so that she was on top.

She sneered smugly at him, pinning his arms above his head with her one hand. With the other, she daintily undid the buttons of his shirt.

Throwing the shirt away and into the distance, she shifted her grip on him so that she was holding his arms above him with both hands. She straddled his thighs with her legs, making him unable to move - at least, not with much freedom, anyway.

Neal writhed underneath her. Kel snorted. "Don't like it on bottom, do you, Queenscove?"

Neal scowled at her. "Well, excuse me. I was just protesting the fact that this is a very demeaning pose for me. It's not right that you're straddling me and not the other way around."

Kel grinned before returning her lips to his own. "I'll remember that," she said between kisses. 

"You - do - that," Neal breathed as Kel's grip on his hands involuntarily weakened. Taking advantage of her distraction, he shifted his arms and pushed her to the side, shifting so that his chest rested on top of hers.

"How many times do I have to tell you that I like it on top?" Neal asked, pinning her down to the ground, unbuttoning her shirt in the process. 

"Mm," Kel lamented as Neal's mouth explored every bit of newly exposed skin across her chest. Closing her eyes, she rested her head against the grass. 

Neal stopped for a moment. Kel raised her head to look at him. She cocked an eyebrow. Neal was eyeing her breastband curiously. Slowly, he traced his fingers over her breasts. Kel shivered.

"This will have to go, won't it?" he asked her quietly. Kel swallowed and gave a barely noticeable jerk of the head. "What was that?" Neal asked, cupping her breasts with his hands. 

Kel gave as disgruntled sigh. "Yes," she murmured, her voice barely audible. 

"Good," Neal said cheerfully as he flicked strong fingers under her breastband, removing it quickly without any toil. 

Suddenly, Neal found himself on the floor. Kel grinned at him from above, her only clothing remaining her breeches and loincloth. Her hand darted to his groin before he could stop her. Neal gave a sharp gasp.

"My," Kel sang from atop him, watching him writhe underneath her. "This will have to go too, I suppose."

Neal clenched his teeth together. He would _not_ give her the satisfaction of having him ask for it...

Her fingers played along the line of his pants, finally darting a finger or two down them, fondling him tormentingly. Neal breathed in sharply. "Kel..." His voice trailed off.

"Yes?" she replied sweetly, finally taking the liberty to remove his breeches.

Neal was silent as his breath came in shallow and waveringly. Suddenly, Kel laughed. Bending close down to his ear, she blew hot air onto his neck. 

"I want to hear you beg for it."

* ~ * ~ * ~ *  

"Holy fucking shit," Neal gasped as he bolted upright out of bed. Throwing his damp sheets off, he stood upright near his bed stand. 

"What the hell was _that_?" he asked himself aloud. "I want another one!" Widening his eyes at his own perverse thought, he grimaced. "I mean, no I don't! Not with Kel! Gah!" Looking out the window, he numbly realized that it was almost dawn. _'The time when Kel gets up...'_

Making his way over to the washbowl and his mirror, located in his decently sized privy, he splashed his face with some _extremely_ cold water before looking up at himself in the mirror. The dream hadn't caused him too much of a lack of sleep. Or at least, none that he could see. No bags were formed under his eyes; a clear emerald shown through underneath dark lashes.

"Gods," Neal breathed, leaning against the wall of the privy. Slowly, he knelt down against the wall and sat, burying his face in his hands.

_'What the hell was that? That was - _Kel!_ Kel, as in my best friend Kel! True, I have been flirting with her a bit lately, but it was just in good fun. It's nothing to go and get feelings for her over. Not that they're feelings anyway. They're just - er - thoughts. Yes, thoughts. Thoughts are good. Not even closely resembling feelings.'_

Almost jittery, Neal laughed to himself in the confines of his bathroom. It was ridiculous to think-

_'You were jealous of Dom.'_

Neal's eyes widened as the thought of how he reacted to Dom's behavior came to mind. He _had_ been a bit protective of Kel like that, but it was just - a brotherly interest. He wasn't... _jealous._

Of course not.

* ~ * ~ * ~ *

"Hello, love."

Kel turned to the voice and grinned as a wild flurry of kisses attacked her unrelentlessly. A hand slid down her back, going a tiny bit further down than was really necessary.  

Not that she minded, of course.

"Neal," she said as she broke away from his kiss. He curled his lip downward into the perfect puppy dog look. Kel snorted. "Don't you look like the perfectly adorable dog."

Neal abandoned his puppy dog expression and pouted, crossing his arms over his chest. "I resent being called a dog."

Kel cocked her head and touched his arm. "But I bet you perfectly like it when I call you adorable."

Neal sniffed. "No. I resent that too. I am a man. I am not to be classified as something that is _adorable._ Adorable would imply childish, which would imply something un-man like, and _you_ know best of all that _that_ isn't true..." He grinned. 

Kel shoved him lightly and attempted to scowl. She wasn't very successful. Breaking out into a teasing grin, she uncrossed his arms and placed them around her instead. Settling into his warm chest, she sighed. Being with him was so comforting sometimes...

"Kel?" he asked softly, pulling away slightly so that he could look at her. He looked at her intently, taking her hand and kissing it. Kel blushed at the show of affection. 

"Yeah?" 

"Do you ever think of what it would be like - if maybe - you came home with me?" Neal asked suddenly. Kel raised her eyebrows. 

"Well... I've seen your home already, Neal. It's quite nice, and-"

"No," Neal started, putting a finger to her lips to silence her. "No, I mean - to come home with me. Permanently."

Kel pulled back suddenly, eyeing him with distrust. Over the course of their relationship, neither of them had mentioned anything _remotely_ pertaining to this particular topic... 

"You mean... you want me to... to..." Kel couldn't finish her sentence.

"Kel," Neal said, pulling something out of his pocket. "I want you to come home with me. I want you to marry me." He got down on one knee and held out the box to her, opening it to reveal a striking diamond ring. 

Kel blanched. She had never thought that things would get this far... then again, what had she expected? That they would go on like this for years without taking the next step? Thinking it over, marrying Neal wouldn't be a bad idea. She loved him, and he loved her. What more could she really ask for? 

Then again...

"Neal," she started. His face fell instantly. "If we - if we got married, I couldn't just sit around in your dukedom all day doing nothing. I - I worked hard for my shield, and getting married... I'm afraid..."

Neal stood up quickly and placed a finger over her lips for the second time in the past couple of minutes. "You would _never_ have to give up your shield, Kel. I thought you knew me better than that. I would never make you stop being knightly and act like some-" he shuddered "-court lady. Besides," he continued. "I would be coming with you. _Someone_ has to keep you out of trouble."

Kel snorted and looked at him and found truth in his clear green eyes. Swallowing, she looked down and a small smile formed on her face. She glanced up at him and quickly seized his lips with her own. 

Neal broke away a _long_ moment later and grinned at her. "Yes?"

She snickered at him. "No, I'm kissing you like there's no tomorrow because I hate you and want to kick you in the groin."

Neal blinked, then shrugged. "Hey, whatever works."

* ~ * ~ * ~ * 

Kel hugged her blankets tighter as faint ray of sunshine danced across her face. The room was lit softly in the scant light that shone through her curtains. Forcing her eyes open, she surveyed the damage. 

_'This is just getting worse and worse,'_ she thought heatedly. _'I could handle it when it was pure sexual attraction, but having actual _sentiments?_ That just makes things so much more complicated...'_

Crawling out of bed despite protesting muscles, she grabbed her glaive off the wall and spun it around lazily. Her fingers twisted across the smooth surface of the wood, effortlessly spinning it to her own pattern. Her thoughts drifted to the night before.

_'Dom had wanted to say something to me,_' Kel thought. _'Never got a chance to, thanks to Meathead, the Clown, and Mr. Jolly. Still though. I wonder what it was?'_

Dom had stalked off to his own room, leaving Kel, Owen, Cleon and Neal alone. Kel's room, being the farthest away from the rest of the groups', had made her the last to reach the confines of her quarters. From there, the rest of the day had gone by uneventfully, with very little mishaps concerning any possible future romantic interests.

_'Romantic_ _interests._ _What an amusing thought. Neal always did say I had a knack for humor. I haven't had a romantic interest since Cleon went and got married to Ermelian. Dom did get _rather_ close to me... But still. Dom wouldn't be interested. Neither would Neal, for all I want him to-'_

Kel froze in her dance. 

_'Did I just - think that?'_

Kel shook her head and dismissed the thought. _'Of course not. That would imply that I would actually have - _feelings _for Neal.'_

_'Of course not.'_

Kel glanced over to the privy. The palace servants usually brought up a tub of hot water for her at around dawn. Kel quickly glanced outside. It was later than usual. She supposed that her dream had caused her to sleep in a bit.

Sighing wearily, Kel returned her glaive to its stop on the wall. It was the end of her exercises for the morning. Stripping down to the bare, she threw her clothes onto the bed and slipped into the bath. Absently, she wondered what it would be like to share her bath with Neal.

Kel shuddered. __

* ~ * ~ * ~ *

Neal lazily rummaged through his dresser and found a pair of breeches, a loose cotton shirt, and a green tunic to match his eyes. He had spent the last hour or so trying to forget about the dream he had had about Kel. 

So far, it hadn't worked.

He had tried everything. Going back to sleep, a warm bath, even knocking himself on the head multiple times against the wall. Nothing seemed to quell his disturbing - and somewhat sexual - thoughts. 

Neal suddenly froze in his endeavors. 

_'Yuki's coming back today.'_

Neal creased his forehead in surprise. _'Shit. How the hell did I forget that? My fiancée is only coming back after how many months now? Three, four maybe?_ _Gods. How could I have forgotten?'_

_'Oh, right. I had Kel to distract me.'_

Aggravated at his behavior - and thoughts - Neal groaned. Kel had been there for two days. Two days doesn't change years of love.

_'It's not like I'm going to do something stupid because of some little - _dream_. That would be... not smart.'_

_'Yeah. Right. Again, I _have_ been known to do stupid things. Not like it would be anything new.'_

Neal shook hishead and threw the tunic over his head. Yuki was coming in from Port Caynn around noon today. He had planned on meeting her there. 

Absently, he wondered if Kel would want to join him. It was probable. After all, Yuki was one of her close friends as well. He should have probably had told her the day before about meeting Yuki, but it had slipped his mind due to certain - _arrivals._

_'What am I doing? Why am I thinking like this two weeks before my wedding to a woman I love? It's not like I'm - _jealous_ of Dom_.'

_'Ha. Right.'_

Moaning, Neal threw away his doubts about his wedding. He was getting married to Yuki. 

Whether he liked it or not. 

_'I think I really need to see Yuki. Now. Or I'm going to do something stupid.'_

Eyeing the keys to his room, he grabbed them and walked through the door of his room. He silently locked his door and headed toward Kel's rooms. She would want to come and greet the woman he loved.

Right.

* ~ * ~ * ~ * 

Kel winced at the jarring noise that came from the other side of her rooms. She looked outside. The sun had risen while she was in the bath. The water was now cool.

_'I must have fallen asleep,'_ she mused randomly. The knocking resounded through her room again. Agitated, Kel moaned. _'Who is that?'_

"Who is it?" she called loudly, rising up from inside the bath. Water splashed around her, cascading across her body languidly. Kel eyed the water that had splattered onto the ground with distaste. She would have to clean it up later. 

"It's Neal. Let me in," he called from behind her door. Kel's heart raced unexpectedly. _'What was that? Why am I excited? Those dreams must have gotten to me more than I thought.'_

"I'm coming!" she called as she eyed her bathroom. Sitting on the privy was a bath towel. She eyed it with dissatisfaction. It was - _small._ And - _skimpy._ She certainly didn't want Neal seeing her in it. It would cause her to be the object of much innuendo later on. Neal had been teasing her too relentlessly for her liking as of late. It was something bordering on flirting, but then again, this was Neal-

Neal knocked again. "I'm coming!" Kel yelled at him, grabbing the towel fleetingly. She didn't have the time to get dressed in anything proper. The towel would have to do. 

Draping it over herself as best as she could, she tucked one end near her collarbone. A slit was visible through the side of the towel. Kel frowned at the exposure. She didn't want Neal seeing more than was necessary. 

Walking quickly to the door, she opened it quickly, moving so that she was behind the door when it opened. "Come in," she told Neal, still behind the door. Neal did so, looking around for her as he stepped inside. 

"Kel?" he asked, glancing around the room. 

Kel closed the door quickly, not wanting to be seen by any unknowing bystanders that might have happened to be walking down her hallway at that particular moment. 

Neal's eyes widened as he saw her. She was half naked... standing very close to him... breathing on his neck...

His gaze inadvertedly drew down to her breasts. She was trying to cover then unsuccessfully with her arms. Water rolled down her chest as Neal found himself unwittingly licking his lips.

Kel noticed his glance and scowled. "Would you like me to take it off for you so that you can see the entire show?" she asked, her voice rising in volume with every word. 

"Yes," Neal breathed before he could help it. 

Before he could even respond, Kel slapped him, her hand whipping at his cheek with a resounding smack.

Unfortunately for her, the quick movement required of slapping someone also caused her towel to come undone.   

A moment of resounding silence echoed through the room. The towel hit the ground in slow motion, fluttering peacefully down to the ground. Kel swallowed.

Neal's eyes widened as his eyebrows lifted.

A guttural noise came from the back of his throat. Kel made no motion to pick up her towel. She simply stared at him in an expression that was a cross between shock and sheer mortification. 

Neal felt his cheeks burning up. She was just - there. Naked. With him. Alone. In her room. With the bed. Naked. 

He averted his eyes from her chest and looked down to the towel. Who knew such a small, fluffy thing could cause such sexual tension?__

Bending down, Neal picked up the towel and silently handed it to Kel. Kel gently took it from him, noticing that their hands touched for a brief moment. Covering herself with it, she tucked it by her collarbone again and held it there with her hand this time. 

Neal coughed, looking down at his feet. Kel bit her upper lips and stared at a particular spot on the wall. She swore you could have heard the crickets echoing throughout the room.

Suddenly, Neal cleared his throat. "I was planning on going down to Port Caynn to meet Yuki there. I was wondering if you had wanted to come with me." 

Kel bit her lip in suppressed disappointment. _'Why? I shouldn't be disappointed. I mean... what did you expect him to do? Pick you up and carry you off to bed? No, Kel, don't think that! Neal doesn't want that. He's getting married for Mithros' Sake. I bet all he could think about when he saw me naked was how much he missed Yuki. Right. Of course. That makes sense.'_

"Of course I'd like to come," Kel answered, slipping her Yamani mask on. Neal frowned, noticing her change in demeanor, but didn't say anything. 

"Good. I was thinking we would leave after breakfast," he said, still refusing to meet her eyes.

"Sounds good to me," Kel responded, crossing her arms over her chest. 

"Hm," Neal answered. His eyes unwittingly found themselves drawn to her breasts again. Kel scowled. 

"Honestly, Neal. Stop looking at me like I'm a piece of meat." Kel grimaced at him.

Neal shook his head, then grinned. "Sorry, Kel. I just - never mind."

Kel creased her forehead and frowned. "What?"

"It's nothing. Just-" he smirked "-you look good naked." He started to laugh when Kel's face contorted into an ugly scowl. 

"Get out, Nealan of Queenscove. Or I'll make you get out myself," she retorted.

"And of course, the effort will cause your towel to fall off again," he said, darting out of smacking range. 

Kel gave him a look of pure loathing. Incoherent noises were emitted from her throat until she finally managed to say, "I hate you, Nealan of Queenscove."

"Alas, my love is unrequited," he exclaimed, clutching at his chest in a mock gesture of hurt.

"You should be used to it," Kel snapped lightheartedly. _'Why is it impossible for me to stay angry with him?' _she thought bitterly.

"Ouch. That hurt." 

Kel looked up at Neal's face. He was making that same puppy dog face he had worn in her dream. The reminisce made Kel's heart ache. 

"Oh, come now, Neal," she started, walking up to Neal and placing a hand on his arm. Neal jumped. "You know we have a love-hate relationship." Neal fluttered his eyelashes at her.

"Alas. I hate you too then." He grinned. "My, it was nice to finally get that off my back."

Kel allowed herself a tiny smile. "Don't push it Queenscove. Now go away."

"But Kel," he started, wrapping an arm tightly around her waist. "I don't want to. I want to see you take that towel off again."

Kel blinked, then scowled. "Go away, Neal."

"But I don't want to," Neal whined, jerking her closer with a smile spread across his face. "It much too much fun torturing you like this. Uncomfortable moments are always the most fun."

Kel looked at him for a moment, and then grinned. "Even if-" her hand darted to his groin "-you're the one that's uncomfortable?"

Neal gave a small gasp and tightened his hold on Kel, if it was possible. The movement, however, caused Kel's hand to rub up against him even more. A low, guttural noise emitted from his throat for the second time that morning. Neal eyes reduced to small slits of what they were, as flashbacks from his dream from the night before came to mind. 

Kel remained motionless as she stared up into Neal's closed eyes. Things had become so much more serious with one small flirtation. Before she knew it, she had gone from being in the middle of a nice, relaxing bath, to something that resembled one of her dreams. She half expected to wake up at that very minute. Neal's face was so very close... All she had to do was lean in a little and press her lips gently against his...

A sharp knocking came from the other side of the door. Neal cursed swiftly before gazing hatefully at the door. 

"Who-" Kel's voice cracked "-who is it?" she called, still not moving from her current position.

"It's Dom. Kel, is there someone in there with you? I think I heard Meathead," he called from outside. Neal suddenly looked very embarrassed and backed away from Kel. 

"Kel-" he began. Kel, however, cut him off.

"We're both in here, Dom. Just give me a second." Kel walked swiftly over to her dresser and pulled out a pair of breeches and a shirt. Stripping off the towel, she threw it to Neal. "Not a word out of you, Neal." Noticing the shocked look on his face, she grinned. "It's not like you haven't seen it before," she said cheerily. Slipping on the breeches and the shirt (without a breastband, Neal noted absently), she smiled brightly at him and made her way over to the door. Opening it, she greeted Dom happily.

"Hello, Dom. Neal and I were just getting ready to go to breakfast."

Dom smiled and nodded to Neal. "Hello Meathead. Breakfast sounds good to me. I was about to go myself," he said, turning back to Kel. He flashed her a toothy grin that would make the hearts of most women melt. 

Kel nodded. "Yes. After that, we were going to meet Yuki, Neal's betrothed-" she risked a glance at Neal "-at Port Caynn. Would you like to join us?" she inquired, meeting Dom's eyes flawlessly.

Dom took her hand and kissed it. "Of course I would, Lady Kel," he said huskily. Neal noted that Kel blushed. He also noticed the bile that rose to his throat as he watched them.

"Good. That is, if it's all right with you Neal?" Kel asked, turning to him. 

"Of course," Neal answered. "It's no problem at all," he told them.

"Good. Off we go then," Kel said as Dom held out an arm for her to take. She smiled pleasantly, and slipped her own arm through his. Together, they walked through the door.

_'Gods,_' Neal thought as he trailed behind them. _'Please help me.'_

* ~ * ~ * ~ * 

EEEEE!!!!! I'M DONE!!! TEEHEE!!!! OMG. My computer crashed. That's why I couldn't get out in a week, like I usually do. Oh well. I should be studying for the two tests I have tomorrow, but sincerely, I don't give a shit. I know I should, but it's the last day before the break. I can't honestly concentrate. Oh well. Anyway, hope you liked the chapter. It's for all of you who wanted more smut. (Dirty little children...) Tsk Tsk. I hope this satisfied your craving. Personally, I don't like it as much as some of my other chapters, but I still think it's pretty good. Oh well. Review. I shalt love you for it forever. And ever and ever and ever. Teehee. 

Love,

Stacey  

P.S. To Min-- Oh, no! The infamous teehee!!! GAAAHHH!!! ^_^


	9. An Early Wedding Present

Disclaimer: I'm seriously considering not doing this anymore. It's getting quite tiring. I don't own them. Go screw a monkey. Teehee. 

A/N: Woah. I'm so disturbed. Last night, I had a dream that I was with Spike from Buffy, but then Dom kissed me under the mistletoe and we ended up making out in his classroom. (Apparently, he was a teacher) It has made me think of Dom in a very different way. He's hot... GAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!! Must... stop... thinking.... these... things.... evil..... Dom's nuts roasting on an open fire.... teehee. Love ya Sarina. Nevertheless, it was a very good dream. Despite all the torturing I do to Dom, he was VERY hot. Strangely, Neal wasn't even in it. Woah. What if I'm like Kel with the sexual dreams and the denial about the guys and.... GAAAAhhhhh..... I'm going to go take that sedative now.

_Tainted love ohhh oh oh_

_Tainted love_

_Now I know I've got to_

_Run away I've got to_

_You don't really want it any more from me_

_To make things right_

_You need someone to hold you tight_

_And you'll think love is to pray_

_But I'm sorry I don't pray that way_

Soft Cell – _Tainted Love_

Underneath the Surface - Chapter 9 – An Early Wedding Present

"I really don't understand what Neal was thinking when he did it," Dom explained to Kel authoritatively. "Getting married is like committing yourself to unholy hell. When you get married, you condemn yourself to one person for the rest of your life. Unless you decide to have an affair, of course. But still," he continued, patting his horse on the head. The animal snorted dejectedly at him while Dom faked a hurt look. Kel laughed silently.

"But what?" she prodded him on. 

"You have to consider what you might want in the future. The person you're marrying now may not be the one you're destined to be with. Five years down the road, you could fall in love with someone else, and what would you do then? It'll end up being some big court intrigue." Dom smiled at his stead. 

"Imagine if this beauty was a proper lady," he continued on. "She's already foaled four colts, each to different stallions. The poor beast would be looked at as a strumpet!" He laughed and turned to Kel. She was grinning and shaking her head. 

"You're impossible, Dom," she told him, stroking Peachblossem with light fingers. "Horses aren't people."

"It's a metaphor, Kel."

"I know, but still." 

"I don't appreciate you speaking about Yuki and I like we're some kind of beasts," a voice drawled from ahead of them. Kel looked away from Dom to look at Neal. He had stopped in the middle of the road, and was now glaring at them lightheartedly. 

"We're just teasing, Meathead," Dom started. "You know that."

"I still don't like being talked about like that. Especially not by my best friend and my cousin. The _maid of honor and the best man_, if I need to remind you. Now be quiet, both of you." Kel scowled at him as she and Dom caught up with the older knight.

"Don't think that I haven't forgotten," Kel snapped at him. "I was having a perfectly amusing conversation, I'll have you know."

"Oh yes, I'm sure you were having just an _enchanting_ time flirting with my cousin, speaking about things that don't even make much sense," Neal attested rudely. Kel gave him a wide eyed glare. 

"How dare you, Nealan of Queenscove? If I didn't know better, _and I do know better_, I'd say that I thought you were _jealous_," she spat.

Neal's face contorted in an ugly scowl. "What's there to be jealous of?"

A moment of silence echoed through the forest the group was riding through. Over the trip to Port Caynn that had taken place already, similar occurrences had taken place. This was the third of the brief skirmishes that Kel and Neal had engaged in already. The horses had stopped walking, as if they could sense their master's tension. 

At last, Kel spoke. "Peachblossem, bite him, would you?"

Peachblossem only willingly obliged as a loud yelp resonated through the forest.

Kel pat her first horse appreciatively. "There's a good horse." 

Neal scowled at her. "Your horse bit my leg! Again! This is the third time today!"

Kel nodded happily. "You know, I should be remorseful." Neal nodded affirmatively. "But I'm not."

Dom snickered from the other side of Neal. "That should teach you, Meathead. Our Kel isn't a force to be reckoned with."

Neal grunted gutturally, mumbling incoherently. "Our Kel. Pah. She's not yours," he grumbled softly under his breath. 

"What's that, Meathead?" Kel asked Neal sweetly. 

"Nothing, sweetums," he replied just as agreeably.

"Hm," she answered. "Better be nothing."

"You know," Dom began. "You would think, that for going to see your fiancée, and future wife for that matter, that you would be happier, Meathead. All you've succeeded in doing is arguing with Kel the entire ride. It _does_ get repetitive after a while." He sighed self righteously. "You would think there was some sort of underlying sexual tension between the two of you." He laughed. "Never mind. What was I thinking? Of course there isn't. Because _you_-" he pointed to Neal "-are getting married. In less than two weeks. One week and five days, if you want to be exact. So stop it. It's getting redundant."

Dom edged his horse forward ahead of Kel and Neal. "And make up while you're at it," he said fleetingly as he urged his horse a good fifteen feet ahead of them.

Kel studied Neal. Her year mate was currently glaring spitefully at his older cousin, lips clenched, eyes flaring. She raised an eyebrow in amusement. 

"Oh, come on, Neal. It's not that bad."

"He doesn't even care," he said, turning back to her. 

"Care about what?" she asked him weariedly. "Your ego being squashed to the size of a pea?"

"No," he grumbled. When he didn't care to elaborate, Kel urged him on.

"Then what, Neal? What's got you _so_ exasperated that you can't even tell me?"

Neal abruptly turned to Kel, looking at her sharply. "What do you want me to say, Kel? There _is_ sexual tension between us, I don't love Yuki, and I want to marry you? Gods." He sighed irritatedly before turning his attention back to the road.  

Kel blinked. "What?" she replied numbly.

He turned back to her. "I'm kidding, Kel," he said dryly.

"Oh."

Silence stretched between the two long time friends until Neal decided to speak. "Sorry for leading you on," he said, a smile tugging at the corners of his face. 

"There's nothing to be led on to," Kel replied, her lips twitching upwards.

"Ouch. I'm hurt."

"As you should be," she told him, glancing at him with a barely contained grin. 

"Alas. I am forever screwed to love the unattainable," Neal said, faking a hurt look.

"Yes. Alas," Kel said, a smile twitching at the corners of her mouth.

Neal shot her a look that was a cross between a glare and a grin. Kel found herself snickering at Neal's ridiculous expression. Neal, unable to keep his emotions in check, soon joined in.

"Gods, you're beautiful when you laugh," Neal said before he could stop himself.

Kel expression sobered immediately as she turned to meet his eyes. Clearing her throat, she creased her forehead. "Neal?"

"What?" he asked, turning his face away to hide his inevitable blush. "I can't compliment my best friend on how beautiful she is?" He nudged his horse closer to hers so that he could reach over and touch her face. "And how she's going to make some man very happy one day?"

Neal's voice was on the verge of cracking as their faces suddenly became very close. Out of the corner of her eye, Kel saw Dom watching them. "Dom," she said softly as she roughly gripped Neal by the shoulders and pulled him into a hug, despite protests from a rather troubled Peachblossem. Neal's eyes widened as he realized how close he had come to kissing Kel.

Kel released her best friend with a small smile, and turned to wave at Dom. He smiled at them, waved back uneasily, and turned his attention back to the road.

"Watch who you flirt with me around," she snapped quietly.

"Flirt? What do you mean flirt? I wasn't flirting," Neal said, his voice rising slightly. "Why would I even _want_ to flirt with you?"

"Well, I don't know, Queenscove!" she started, keeping her voice to a high whisper. "Maybe the fact that there _is_ sexual tension between us like Dom said-"

"Oh, _how_ could we have forgotten _Dom_? He is, after all, _so_ important!" Neal replied, his voice rising to a steady shout. 

From his seat a good fifteen feet away from the pair, Dom sighed. _'There they go again,'_ he thought exasperatedly. 

"Don't you bring him into this, Neal," Kel uttered in a hushed whisper. "Now, _lower your voice_," she said authoritatively. 

Neal glared at her wordlessly before urging his horse into a trot, leaving Kel behind. 

Kel fumed silently. Why was it that one second they could be having a perfectly normal conversation and the next it would be ruined? She didn't even understand it. He had been acting so perfectly - _charming_ and then he had to go and ruin it.

Kel supposed that she had better go up to him and try to make things at least a bit better between them. _'But why should I? He's the one that's instigating it all the time,'_ she thought furiously. _'I shouldn't have to swallow _my_ pride. He should come and apologize to _me_, not the other way around.'_ Kel glanced at the back of her best friend. He was keeping a safe distance between both her and Dom. It would be a terrible ride if they continued on like this.  

Kel sighed and nudged Peachblossem to a trot. Best to apologize and get it over with.

She approached Neal and whispered, "walk," to her gelding. Peachblossem snorted, as if to say that she didn't want to accompany this rude human yet again. Kel laughed inwardly. Peachblossem had the right idea. 

"Neal?" she started slowly as she Peachblossem pulled up next to him. 

Neal raised an eyebrow, still staring ahead at the road, not meeting her eyes. 

Kel gave a barely contained moan. "If you're going to be like this when I'm trying to apologize, then I'm not going to even bother."

Neal turned to look at her. "Don't," he said.

Kel gazed at him in confusion. "Don't what?" she asked in bafflement.

"Don't apologize. You don't need to. You _never_ needed to. No matter how stupid you may act, you'll always be my best friend. Best friends don't need to apologize."

Kel blinked at him. Why was he being so - philosophical?

"Besides," he continued, blushing a bit. "It was my fault anyway." Neal stared ahead to look at Dom. "Do you love him?"

Kel was broken out of her reverie. "Love him?" She was silent for a moment. "No. I don't know if I've ever been in love."

"Really?" Neal asked. "That's a cry shame. Not even when you and Cleon were... you know. Together."

Kel shook her head. "Naw. Never really got that far. I thought I was, at one time, but... I don't think so anymore. Not now."

"Hm," Neal sighed. "What made you change your mind?"

Kel blushed. She wanted to tell him that it was him that made her change her mind, but she kept quiet. "I don't know. Time. Separation. Whatever it was, it was for the best. Imagine Cleon and me trying to make a reputable couple? We would kill each other!" She laughed at the thought, Neal joining in.

Neal's expression sobered. "Really, though. What do you feel for him?"

Kel knew that he was speaking about Dom by the tone of his voice. "I don't know. I like him, sure... he's certainly handsome enough. And he can be perfectly charming when he wants to... but still. Can you really see us together?"

"Yes," Neal said quickly. He wanted to tell her that that was what scared her, but refrained from doing so. "You look good enough together. And you seem-" he reached over and brushed a stray tendril of hair away from her face "-to be fond of him. In a romantic way."

Kel found herself holding in her breath as Neal touched her face again. He suddenly drew away, wetting his lips with his tongue. Kel looked away from him as his hand returned to his side. 

"Fond of him, yes. Just - that romantic thing is stretching it a bit."

"You could have fooled me," Neal teased her, raising his voice to a falsetto. "Oh, Dom, would you like to come and have breakfast with us? And then maybe later you could come with us for the abnormally long ride to Port Caynn and let me touch your abnormally large biceps?" Neal said, imitating Kel's voice. 

She pushed him lightly in his saddle while Peachblossem bit his leg for the fourth time that day. 

Neal glared at Peachblossem. "You really need to get a muzzle for that thing," he said, rubbing his leg. 

Kel smiled sweetly at him. Neal simply glowered.

"Gah. Rude horse," Neal snapped as he scowled at Peachblossem. 

"Hey. Treat my horse with respect." Kel raised an eyebrow expectantly. 

Neal eyed Kel's stead with a firm scrutiny before leaning over and kissing Kel on the cheek. "I will treat your horse-" he kissed her cheek again "-with whatever respect-" he moved his mouth to graze her jaw line "-I think-" he whispered in her ear "-it deserves." He pulled away and grinned before nudging his horse ahead to join his cousin.

Kel scowled at his back. "I hate you, Neal!"

"Love you too, Kel," he shouted back to her as he became engaged in a heated conversation with his cousin. 

Kel seethed silently. 

Although, inwardly, she admitted to herself, she wished he would have kissed more than her cheek.

* ~ * ~ * ~ * 

"Yuki!" Neal cried as he ran up the boarding ramp to embrace his betrothed. He kissed her soundly as Kel and Dom watched on. 

"They're good together," Dom voiced quietly as he and the lady knight observed from the docks. "She's done wonders for him."

"I know," Kel told him. "I remember before, he would spend a week on a woman before moving on to the next." 

He glanced at her. "You would know best," the sergeant told her. Kel returned his glance before breaking away to inspect the couple. They were searching each others' bodies like they would never see each other again. A couple of people were glancing at them with stupid grins. It was, frankly, quite sickening. 

"Kel?" Dom asked softly, returning his gaze to her. "Are you in love with him?"

Kel turned to him abruptly, eyes widening. "What?"

"Are you in love with him?" Dom repeated more slowly.

"Yes, yes, I heard what you said the first time. I'm just a bit - well, shocked. Why would you ask me that? He's getting married," Kel told him.

"I don't know. Just - are you?" Dom asked her, a twinge of fear showing in his eyes.

Kel returned his glance. "Do _you_ think I am?" she asked, sighing slightly. 

"Would I ask you if I knew?" Dom shot back, a bit agitatedly. Kel shrugged. 

"Don't know. Not in your head."

Dom scowled at her before his features softened. "Really, though. Are you?" he asked gently. Kel looked at her feet for a moment before answering him. 

"No."

A moment of silence resounded between the two friends before Dom spoke. "Good."

Kel raised an eyebrow. "Why good?" 

Dom was silent for a moment as he looked out at Neal and Yuki. "Don't you ever wish for what they have?" he asked.

"Yeah," Kel answered him. "I think most people do."

"Do you want to have that?" he asked her, his voice a steady baritone.

"With you?" she questioned, furrowing her eyebrows and looking at him sharply.

"If you want."

Kel looked away from him, her gaze inexplicably drawn to the couple that was still on the boarding ramp. They did look happy... yet, she had always pictured herself with Neal, in a strange sort of way. She envied Yuki, truth be told. She envied her happiness. She could have that happiness with Dom, she supposed, given time. But things were just happening all too fast... 

"I don't know. Maybe," she replied at last. 

"Hm," Dom said. "I can wait, Kel," he said after a moment. 

Kel swallowed as she turned to look at him. He looked so sincere... and there was something in his clear blue eyes that scared her.

"I know." 

Dom nodded as he turned to glance at the couple that had finally come to join them. They approached Kel and Dom without a care in the world, kissing and touching each other as freely as if there was no one around but them. Yuki detached herself from Neal when she came within five feet of Kel and Dom.

"Kel!" she cried as she embraced her best friend. Kel laughed and flung her arms around the Yamani. Truthfully, she had missed her, no matter how much things had changed between her and Neal, or her and Dom for that matter. Yuki was always someone she could call a friend, through thick and thin. Things like that don't just change overnight.

"Yuki," Kel said happily as she was released from her friend's hold. "I'm surprised you pried yourself away from Neal to say hello to me!" she told her in a friendly manner, gripping her at the shoulders. "It's good to see you," she said more seriously.

Yuki nodded to her and smiled quickly before turning to Dom. "Sergeant Domitan, I presume?"

"Milady," Dom murmured, taking Yuki's hand and kissing it, as was customary. 

"Hey, hey, hey!" Neal cut in, wrenching Dom's hand away from his betrothed's. "Watch it with the hands and with the lips! Comprendes?" he told Dom, glaring at him before breaking out into a grin.

"Understood," Dom said, turning to Kel, who was currently raising an eyebrow at him. "Eh... yes Kel?" he asked, tittering at the younger knight. 

Kel grunted and reached over to take Neal's arm. Leading him away towards the horses, she shot a brazen glance at Dom. Neal simply grinned helplessly at Yuki as Kel led him away.

"Did I miss something?" Yuki asked Dom as she stared as the retreating Kel and Neal's backs. 

"Never mind them. They're in a middle of a phase," he told her before holding out his arm to her. "We need to get you a horse. Unless you have one...?"

"Yes. I reserved one for the ride back to Corus. It should be held at the stables located by the gate of Port Caynn," she told him, taking his hand and following Kel and Neal. 

"Good. Frankly, I didn't want to see you and my cousin feeling each other up for the entire ride back if you had to share a horse," Dom replied.

Yuki shot him a perturbed glance as they reached Kel and Neal. "Well, that was uncalled for," she voiced, raising an eyebrow. 

"What was uncalled for?" Neal asked his cousin. "Have you been using your charms again, Dom?"

"What do you classify as charms, my dear Meathead?" Dom asked him inquisitively.

"Never mind," Neal said, turning his attention to Yuki. "You reserved the horse, right?"

Yuki nodded affirmatively as Neal, Kel, and Dom led their horses towards the Port Caynn gate. "I send a letter ahead of time."

"Good," Neal said as they walked through town, just admiring the sights for a brief moment. "Do you want to look in any of the shops?" he asked Yuki, raising his eyebrows.

"I would like that. Unless," she said, turning to Kel and Dom. "You two have any prior engagements?"

"I know I don't," Dom started. "Lazing around all day does have its pluses, but it does get redundant after a while," he said in a drawl almost like Neal's own.

Kel snorted and gave Dom a glance before saying "me neither." 

"Good. It's settled then," Neal told the group as they proceeded to explore Port Caynn, their horses trailing behind them. It was more for Yuki's benefit than anyone else's, for she had yet to see all of Tortall and its wonders. 

Yuki had made them stop at a small pawn shop about halfway through town. She had been intrigued by a small doll that was being displayed in the window. Yuki had thought it perfect for her niece, who was to serve as a flower girl in the wedding. The group entered the pawn shop and proceeded to look around. Kel found herself drawn inexplicably to a small, secluded section of the shop around a bend that wasn't visible in the main part of the shop.

"Find anything you like?" Neal asked her, sneaking up behind her to wrap an arm around her waist. Kel visibly jumped.

"Neal, don't do that," she whispered heatedly. 

"What, this?" he asked, pulling her closer to him. Kel tugged herself free of his grip and turned sharply to look at him. 

"Neal, you can't do that anymore. Especially when Yuki could come in at any moment and think the wrong thing."

"Nothing's going to change, Kel," Neal told her, looking at her intently. Kel returned his gaze acutely, her glimpse as serious as his.

"It already has, Neal," she said before pulling away from him and gazing at one of the tables. 

Neal roughly grabbed her by the shoulders and held her close to him. "What's that supposed to mean?" he whispered furiously. 

Kel simply looked at him, devoid of emotion. They remained like that for a moment, before Neal released his hold on her. Kel turned back to the table she had been looking at. Grasping a silver necklace, she handled with precision and care. The necklace was adorned with a ruby diamond shaped pendant.

"It's beautiful," Neal said softly, taking Kel's hands in his. She pulled away abruptly.

"Yes," Kel answered sharply, throwing the necklace back into its pile. She walked away from him, leaving Neal to stand there alone, staring at the necklace Kel had so hatefully thrown back into the pile. 

* ~ * ~ * ~ * 

"That will be one gold noble, Miss," the shopkeeper told Yuki pleasantly. Digging into her purse, Yuki found only a couple of silver nobles. Most of her money was in her luggage, which was situated on Neal's horse. It would be a hassle to dig through it now. 

"Can I negotiate the price?" Yuki asked hopefully. The shopkeeper gave her a skeptical glance that clearly stated what her answer would be.

"Need some money, Yuki?" Dom inquired as he came up from behind her. 

Yuki gave him a thankful glance. "If you wouldn't mind," she said gratefully. "Just a couple more silver nobles."

Dom dug in his breeches pockets and unearthed a nine silver nobles. "Will this do?"

"Oh, yes," Yuki replied, taking six of them from him. "Thank you so much," she spoke appreciatively, giving the money to the shopkeeper.

"Don't mention it. Think of it as part of the wedding present."

Yuki smiled at the blue eyed sergeant as Kel came up from behind them. "Hey. Are we ready to go?"

"Yes," Yuki responded, taking a bag with the doll in it from the shopkeeper. "Where's Neal?" 

"Oh, in the back somewhere. He said that he would meet us outside," Kel said briskly. She wanted to get out of this particular store as quickly as possible. Even if it meant telling a little white lie.

"Oh, all right," Yuki replied. "We'll just go out and wait for him." 

The three of them headed outside to be met with a breathless Neal a couple of minutes later. 

"Hello, everyone. Are you all ready to head back to Corus?" he asked them as he joined them outside.

"I think so," Yuki remarked. "What about you guys?"

Dom and Kel nodded, acknowledging her. Kel seemed rather happy to leave. 

Together, they left Port Caynn and rode back to Corus, leaving for a very uneventful - and quiet - ride. 

* ~ * ~ * ~ * 

At around eleven o'clock, Neal came to Kel's room and knocked on the door once before she came to answer it. _'Does she have any other clothes?'_ Neal mused as Kel appeared, garbed in the same thin nightgown she had been wearing a couple of nights ago. Kel raised her eyebrows expectantly at Neal.

"Can I come in?" he asked her quietly. Kel looked at him for a moment before stepping aside to let him enter. 

Neal stuffed his hands in his pockets as if he was nervous as Kel closed the door behind him. Turning to him, she glanced at him suspiciously. "What is it, Neal?" she asked shortly.

"Well, that was rude," he retorted, a frown spreading across his features. "No 'Hello, Neal, how are you this fine night?' I'm hurt, Kel." He removed his hands from his pockets and crossed them across his chest instead. Kel grimaced and took a step towards him.   
  


"Sorry," she mumbled, lowering her gaze.

Neal looked at her for a moment before closing the distance between the two of them. "No. Don't say you're sorry. Remember? We're past apologies." He moved a hand under her chin and made her look at him. 

"Best friends don't need apologies," Kel finished for him. "Right." She risked a glance upwards into Neal's very intent looking eyes. He was staring at her in a way that made her think that he was about to do something very foolish. 

"I got this for you," Neal said when Kel broke their gaze to look down at his chest. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the same silver necklace with the ruby diamond shaped pendant. "I knew you liked it, and you never gave me the chance to offer to buy it for you, so I figured I would give it to you. As a gift." 

Kel grasped the necklace in astonishment. "Neal, you didn't have to-"

"I wanted to," he said as he cut her off. "Here, turn around," he told her as he draped the necklace around her. Kel obliged his request and allowed him to put the necklace on. She turned back to him. "It doesn't do you justice," he uttered softly as he looked down to her. Kel found herself drowning in a strange and foreign feeling.

"Neal, don't look at me like that," she whispered softly. "Don't."

Neal's gaze was broken by her request as he backed away from her a bit. "Dom has told me that he wants to court you." Kel looked away, only to be met with Neal's firm fingers forcing her to look at him. "He says that you agreed that it would be all right if he did."

Kel stared at him defiantly. "So? What's wrong with that?"

Neal pulled back, a bit taken back. "Well - nothing, but-"

"It's not like you're not getting married in less than two weeks," Kel told him accusingly.

Neal opened his mouth to speak, but then closed it. He looked down at the floor for a moment before returning his gaze to look at her. "You want me to stay out of it," he muttered dully.

Kel cocked her head to the side and looked at him sadly. "Not necessarily stay out of it, just-"

"It's just that-" he grinned morosely "-well, you had said that you weren't interested in him that way." He searched her eyes for some kind of answer before she spoke.

"I could - I could learn how to love him," she murmured softly, averting her eyes from Neal's. 

Neal stared at her for a moment before speaking. "Why do you have to be so damn self righteous?" Kel's eyes shot up at his remark.

"What do you mean, self right-" Neal covered her mouth with his hand, effectively silencing her. 

"Kel, you're only human. Stop thinking about others for once and think about yourself. What do _you_ want?" he asked her quietly. 

Kel stared at him wide eyed as he removed his hand from her mouth. A moment of silence resounded between the two long time friends as Kel sought to find the right words.

"I-" Kel sought to find the right words. "I want you to go, Neal. Before I do something stupid." She looked away from him as he examined her carefully. That moment seemed to stretch across any intelligible conception of time and space, resonating through them as Neal absently wondered how silence could seem so loud sometimes.

"Fine," he said finally, clearing his throat. "Fine. I'll-I'll go." He stumbled away from her, trying to put the most distance between them that was possible. Kel's arm darted out to grab his. 

"Neal-"

"No, Kel. I'm going. Just like you told me to," he said quietly as he pulled away from Kel's arm and walked to the door. He stopped for a moment before opening it and walking away, leaving Kel to stand there, staring at the open door.

Slowly, she trudged towards the door and closed it softly. Slouching up against it, she fell to the ground, hugging her knees up against her with one arm. With the other, she clutched the necklace that Neal had given her, grasping it tightly against her chest. 

Kel closed her eyes and found herself inevitably drawn into sleep.

* ~ * ~ * ~ *

Hm. This is what comes from listening to Nirvana and Offspring and Korn while you're writing. It probably wasn't the best thing to do, but hey. It's all - angsty. Gah. Woah. System of a Down song is on. Inervision. Or however you spell it. I don't care. I like this song. You know, all the System songs are the same songs with different words? Listen to them once in a while. It's quite strange. Ok, going off on a major tangent right there. Ahm... the chapter. Right. Ah... I like it. I mean, it's not as funny as the others, but whatever. Point A: Neal has a Spanish heart. That's why he said comprendes to Dom. Teehee. Point B: With the kissing on the horse thing, I was thinking about it, and I have determined that it's possible not to be very uncomfortable and kiss at the same time. I mean, have any of you seen the Two Towers? It's the best movie EVER by the way, but they were all killing each other with the horses and were getting all close and they weren't in too uncomfortable of a position. Well, I think anyway. I didn't perceive them to be uncomfortable. Ok. I'm going off on a MAJOR tangent here, so I'm going to stop. Right. Erm... anyway, review. Please? Last chapter was so wonderful with the reviews. I was only able to look at them once at the library, but when I did, I had like... 30 more than the last time I checked. Or something like that. And I was all giggly and people were staring at me. Ah, well. Such is life. Anyway, gotta go, sweets. Luv y'all. 

Love,

Stacey

PS Woah. I just said y'all. Gah. I'm turning into Min. Teehee.

PPS KAAATTTTEEE!!!!! Omg, when I saw TT, I wanted to MARRY Legolas, but my friends kept insisting that he and Aragorn were gay! I was so mad... but Sam and Frodo and Pippin and Merry definitely have homosexual like characteristics. Especially Sam and Frodo. Teehee. Oh, did you get IT yet?

PPPS. JUUUUDDDDIIIIEEEE!!!!! I miss you. Wah. I hate my computer. I can't even send it to you to beta because my computer is bitching. I only go on when I go to the library to post, so betaing would be inconvienent to everyone. Oh well. I'll just have to proofread better. 

PPPPS. Woah. Writing all those p's can get tiring. Er... since I'm making up for all that internet time I missed, Sarina, stop being evil devil spawn, and Min, stop fucking Jose and get with Jake. It's so sad that I know these people but I do. Gah. 

PPPPPS. Oh, my the way everyone, MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!! 


	10. An Idiot's Guide to Dating the Love of M...

Disclaimer: If only I owned the nice pretty characters... or the nice sexy characters in Neal's case. Gods I love him. I wanna just screw his brains out. Teehee. My mother is a couple of feet away from me. Teehee.

_You're the right kind of sinner_

_To release my inner fantasy_

_The invincible winner_

_And you know that you were born to be_

_You're a heartbreaker_

_Dreammaker_

_Love taker don't you mess around with me_

_Heartbreaker _– Pat Benatar

Underneath the Surface – Chapter 9 – An Idiot's Guide to Dating the Love of My Life's Cousin 

When Kel woke that next morning, she wanted to treat everything that had happened last night as a bad dream. 

She had stirred early on to find her back stiff from falling asleep leaning up against a door. She had predictably fallen onto the stone floor during the course of the night, hitting her head just in the places she knew it would hurt most in the morning. Her hand had fallen asleep, due to the fact that she had been leaning on it during most of the night. 

Overall, Kel mused, it had been a generally unhealthy way to sleep.

Actually standing up had been something close to torture. Forcing herself to look at her glaive had been worse. She knew that exercising with her glaive would limber up her muscles and allow them to stretch out. The only thing she really wanted to do, though, was roll down her sheets and tuck herself into bed. 

Kel supposed that she could conceivably go straight back to bed. Knowing Cleon, or any of the rest of her overenthusiastic friends for that matter, _someone _would probably come barging in just when she was really getting comfortable. Still, even a tiny bit of sleep could make the difference. It was amazing what one night on the floor could do one someone's level of concern for the world around her.

Kel gave one last fleeting look at the bed before ambling sorely over to the rack where her glaive was located. Completing a few exercises, she let her mind roam freely.

_'What happened last night between Neal and I?' _she mused worriedly. _'I told him to go away. Why did I do that? Why am I afraid of him?'_

Kel closed her eyes as she spun the glaive around her body. _'I'm not afraid of _him_,'_ she corrected herself mentally. _'I'm afraid of what he makes me want to do to him. I'm afraid of the fact that every time I'm near him, I come within scant inches of kissing him. I'm afraid of the fact that he can make me want him with just a simple touch. I'm afraid of what might just happen if I ever truly let myself go around him.'_

Kel flexed her muscles, wincing as they protested vehemently. _'If I didn't know better, I'd say that he felt the same way. Giving me presents. What is that? He's not supposed to give me presents. Not presents like _that_ anyway. Some saddle oil, or a good pair of riding gloves I would expect. Not a necklace. Not something that would give me the impression that he really did look at me like a girl and not just another sexless knight.'_

Kel pulled the glaive up in a defensive position. _'I wonder if anyone truly look at me like I'm sexless anymore. I'm not even that attractive, yet they all treat me like I'm some kind of – _prize_. Cleon, Dom, Neal... it's like I can't even go out my door without meeting one of them and making forced conversation. It's infuriating!'_

Kel stopped twirling her glaive and returned it to its rack on the wall. _'This is truly getting ridiculous.'_

Her hand inexorably found its way up to her neck. She fingered the pendant lightly, lifting it up to look at it. It was truly beautiful. And Neal had given it to her as a present. She didn't know why, but he had. The only feasible explanation she could think of was that he wanted to say he was sorry for touching her like that in the store. But then why would he look at her like that in her room is he wanted to make amends?

_'More privacy,'_ Kel mused absently. _'He knew I didn't have the excuse that Yuki was around.'_

_'But again,'_ Kel thought, _'that would imply that he _wanted_ to touch me. Or kiss me. Or just do something. Gods I'm confused.'_

Sighing, Kel grabbed her keys and made her way for the door. Maybe she would be able to meet Owen for breakfast. He was the only one of them that _hadn't_ tried to court her. It would be a refreshing change.

Before she could open the door, someone knocked from the other side. Kel sighed mentally and hoped that it wasn't anyone even resembling Neal or Dom. That would just make things so much more – unpleasant.

Opening the door, she stepped aside to admit her visitor. A familiar pair of blue eyes flashed warmly at her. 

_'Oh, lucky me,' _Kel thought dryly.

"Hello, Kel. I was just about to take breakfast," Dom told her amiably. "I was wondering if you would – if you would like to come," he stuttered. 

Kel blinked. What was wrong with him? He never tripped over his words. Maybe it was his newly achieved status as "suitor." _'God, that's sickening. Whoever would have though _I_ would have had suitors?'_

"Um... yeah, Dom. Sure. I was planning on going now anyway. It's good that you caught me before I left." Kel kept her face carefully blank.

Dom smiled affectionately at her despite her slightly cold behavior. "Good. I was thinking, maybe, instead of the usual palace breakfast, I could take you to one of the restaurants in Corus?" he asked optimistically.

Kel gazed at him. He looked sincere. And hopeful. She hated when people gave her that look. It made her want to agree with them no matter what. She didn't like saying no to people who could look at her like they would be miserable without her. It made her feel guilty. 

"Um... sure, Dom. I guess that would be all right. Do I need to change...?" she inquired, glancing at her less than admirable, slightly damp clothes.

"Oh, no. What you're wearing is fine," Dom said quickly, giving her a once over. Kel decided that his eyes had lingered a little too long on her chest. 

"Down, sparky. It's still early."

"What?" Dom said, directing his stare to her face. Kel eyed him skeptically as she raised her eyebrows. Dom blushed and grinned bashfully. "Oh. Heh. Didn't mean to look there."

"Sure you didn't," Kel said doubtfully, but smiled nonetheless. Best to put on a happy face at times like this.  

Dom blushed again and bowed, motioning for her to walk out of the door. "After you, milady," he murmured huskily. 

Kel blushed.

Unfortunately for her, Dom noticed as the steady heat rose to her cheeks. "Blushing, milady?"

Kel backed away from him hurriedly. "No," she protested on deaf ears. "It's just – it's just unnaturally hot in here, is all. I was not blushing." She crossed her arms over her chest and scowled. 

Unluckily for her, Dom came up to her and unfolded her arms. He placed them steadily on his shoulders. 

"My lady," he began, a slight grin starting to spread across his face. "I would like to take you to breakfast. Do you think you can handle that without turning into a burning fire of desire?" he asked jokingly.

Without a word, Kel slapped him across the jaw. "You think mighty highly of yourself, now don't you?" she hissed quietly at him.

"Relax, Kel, I was just kidding!" Dom laughed as he rubbed his face. "After all, I would rather wait till tonight to turn you into a burning fire of desire."

Kel looked at him incredulously before marching out of her rooms, Dom following closely behind her. "No," she said turning on him. "Don't you follow me. You stay away from me, you – you womanizer!" Kel poked a finger at him as she spoke. 

Dom laughed as he caught her hand in his. "Keladry," he said simply, taking his other hand and putting it over her lips. "Let me take you to breakfast. Please? I promise, I won't do anything regrettable."

"That's hard to believe," Kel retorted, turning her face away from his.

"I promise," he told her, taking the hand he had captured and kissing it. "I'll be a saint."

Kel looked at him with clenched lips for a moment before drawing her hand away from his lips. "Oh, fine." She walked to her door and closed it, locking it before she turned back to Dom. "But one wrong word out of you-"

"I said that I promised. I don't break promises easily, milady Kel."

"Don't call me milady."

"All right, Mother."

"Don't call me that either."

"Sure, Princess."

"Where the hell did you get that from?"

"Just knew what kind of effect it would have on you."

"Oh, great." Kel rolled her eyes as Dom held out his arm. "What's that for?"

"It's for you to take. As in, I hold out my arm, and you take it, and we walk."

"I can walk perfectly well by myself, thank you very much."

"Suit yourself, Princess."

"Stop calling me names. Honestly, you're as bad as Cleon."

"All right, Mother."

"You're hopeless."

"Why, thank you."

* ~ * ~ * ~ *

"I'll tell you, I saw the invitation list, and they have a couple of hundred people coming. It's going to be insane," Dom told Kel frankly. They were sitting in a restaurant in the good part of Corus, dubbed the Chevalier. Although it was known to harbor many women just itching for a good scandal, the food there was renowned throughout the town. Especially their breakfast. 

Kel dropped the fork that had currently been sheathed with a piece of sausage. "Hundreds?" she asked disbelievingly.

Dom nodded. "Well, think about it. I mean – Neal is the first son of the realm's most powerful healer. He's an important figure, as frightening as that may be. He has to be sure not to insult anyone by forgetting about some duke or baron somewhere. And don't forget, someday, he's going to be Duke Neal, which will be the day I commit suicide." Kel snickered. "He's going to have a lot of power over the heathenous people of Tortall."

Kel shook her head. "It's a scary thought, isn't it?"

"Very," Dom agreed. "Then, you have Yuki, who has her faction of Yamanis, including the Royal Princess herself. With the people both Neal and Yuki end up inviting, it's going to be a couple of hundred people any way you look at it. I remember Aunt when she first found out that our Meathead was getting married-" he grinned "-she was in hysterics from crying out of happiness that our resident bachelor was settling down and writing the invitations at the same time. The invitations that arrived at Masbolle were all smudged and teary."

Kel smiled wickedly. "Of course, you just _had_ to tease Neal about that one, didn't you?"

Dom smirked. "Of course. I wouldn't be the best man if I didn't."

"I can see it now," Kel continued, raising her voice to a falsetto. "Oh, Neal, you're finally getting married! Give mummy a kiss!" Dom made kissing noises in the background as they both ended up laughing and shaking their heads at the same time. 

"The best though-" Dom persisted, a smile stretched wide over his face "-was when I accidentally-" he coughed "-heard uncle giving Neal 'the talk.'"

Kel's eyes widened as her cheeks turned red and her mouth twitched suspiciously upwards. "You mean – he hadn't given him 'the talk' before? This is just too good..."

"It was before you had come down from the border. My Lord had given me an early reprieve from border patrol and I was walking to the healer's wing to greet my uncle. I was about to knock on the door when I heard uncle telling my cousin about-" he coughed again "-the finer things in life. If you get my meaning."

"I wonder if Duke Baird knows that Neal's not a virgin," Kel mused randomly, a smile etched perpetually across her face.

Dom raised an eyebrow suspiciously. "And you would know that how, exactly?"

Kel pulled back defensively. "What? I just always assumed. I mean – he seems experienced enough. He's certainly confident flirting with women." Kel found a steady heat rising to her cheeks.

"Really?" Dom asked, cocking an eyebrow as his lips twitched suspiciously in what looked like the beginnings of a smirk. "Have you had-" he leaned in closer to her "-_experiences_ with his charms?"

Kel blinked before she pulled away, looking quite perturbed. "Would you really like to know? Do you really want to know how he seduced me and carried me off to his bed and made sweet love to me? Honestly, Dom. Exercise your common sense." She shook her head and sighed before looking back at Dom. He was grinning that same, cocky grin again.

"What?" Kel asked him, raising an eyebrow.

"Nothing. It's just – you've changed."

Kel creased her forehead. "How?"

"Well," Dom began. "You've always been – more of a reserved sort of person. I don't know. You just seem more – outgoing than usual. You flirt with Neal and me like you're some court lady-" he raised a hand at her outraged expression "-and don't think I don't see it. You do. Even if you don't think you do, the rest of us can see it. Maybe it's a subconscious thing."

Kel blinked and raised her eyebrows. "Not that I mind you flirting with me," Dom said quickly. "It's not that. I just – I think the war's done more to you than you're willing to admit. To hide your true feelings, you brush things off and joke around. You're so afraid to show people what you really feel, that you don't stop to think that maybe, we miss the old Kel. It's not the you that you used to be." He shrugged. 

"Maybe I'm totally off balance here," he continued. "But maybe I'm not. You tell me, Kel."

  
Kel sat there in silence for a moment simply looking at him. How did he get off speaking to her like this? Just – attacking her like this? He was accusing her of being someone that she wasn't. She didn't – _flirt._ That was – _ridiculous._ If she flirted every time she talked with a man, most civilized people would consider her a harlot. It was just – _talking animatedly. _That's all she was doing. Flirting would imply that she wanted that person to court her.

Which wasn't totally off base, she admitted to herself.

True, she had been having dreams about Neal. True, she secretly wished that he would just be honest with her instead of playing with her with his "innocent" touches and "chaste" kisses. True, she wished that he would sometimes stop toying with her emotions and just kiss her. But she wouldn't let him, for the sole fact that he _would _get married in less than two weeks. As for flirting with Dom – she still hadn't decided if she wanted to be courted by him in the first place. He was perfectly charming, handsome, honest, and a good friend – 

But he wasn't Neal.

Kel admitted, the war _had_ changed her in irreversible ways. Even before she had started having dreams about Neal, images of orphan children calling for their parents and bloodied bodies scattered carelessly across the ground had haunted her nightmares. She had found her Yamani mask gradually deteriorated away, mostly due to the close contact with Easterners she had had over the past half of her life. To replace the security of her "lump" expression, she had donned a mask of humor to hide her constant insecurities about the changing world around her. It had worked perfectly well for her for most of the time she had spent at the border. No one else had recognized her anxiety. That, or they had left it alone for her sake.

Then why was it that Dom could sense it?

Was it that he had been through the same things that she had? He had been fighting up north for as long as she had, if not longer. He knew that war wasn't some kind of glory trip. He had seen the blood and the pain. But then again, so had Neal and Cleon. Had Neal and Cleon seen the change in her and were just sparing her feelings?

She looked up at Dom. His clear sapphire eyes held something strange in them that she had never seen before.  

Strangely, the only thing she could think of was the exact emerald color of Neal's eyes and how they glistened when he was touching her.

She cleared her throat. "Maybe you're right," she admitted after what seemed like hours instead of moments. Dom released the breath he hadn't known he was holding. He had expected the worst from what he had said. A fierce rebuttal, a sharp retort maybe. He hadn't expected her to admit that he was right.

"Don't let it get to your head, Masbolle."

Dom grinned in relief. "Don't worry. I won't."

Kel sighed and glanced at her breakfast platter. She made a face. "I'm not really hungry anymore."

"Me neither," Dom agreed. Kel looked up at him and held his gaze for a moment before looking away as a blush spread across her face. Dom wet his lips before speaking. "Do you want to get out of here?" he inquired, raising his eyebrows in an almost supplication.  

Kel glanced back up at him. His eyes held that same, serious look he had been giving her before. She didn't like that look. That look promised of things to come, and she didn't want to have things to come. Not with him, anyway. 

Still, she did want to leave this particular restaurant. It was getting to stuffy in here for her tastes. The tension between her and Dom had mounted to an all time high.

"Sure."

"Good," Dom replied, calling the waitress over to ask for the check. Kel sat there and buried her hands in her lap, staring down at her palms while Dom paid the bill.

"By the way," Dom said as they were standing up to leave. "Where did you get that necklace? It's nice. I've never really seen you wear jewelry."

Kel blanched. What was he supposed to tell him? That his cousin, who was supposedly getting married, had given it to her because, just maybe, he was in love with her? Kel supposed that would go over quite well... 

"I got it from an admirer," she said finally. Dom looked over at her, eyes widening in a troubled glance. 

"What do you mean, an admirer?" he asked her, his voice showing a hint of distress.

Kel smiled secretively as she walked past table after table to reach the door. 

"What do you mean, an admirer?" Dom repeated more loudly as he struggled to keep up with her despite a flurry of waiters that had suddenly came in their direction.

"Just – an admirer," Kel said above the noise from the crowd, thankful that Dom couldn't see the smile that was growing at a steady pace across her face. 

"Wait," Dom called as he reached forward and grabbed her arm, unintentionally hitting a waiter carrying a platter of pancakes and syrup. The plate went flying across the room, finally stopping at a table occupied by a very flustered looking Lady Marie, whose hair was now matted in syrup. Her companion, a certain Lady Florence, sported a pancake on her bosom. 

Dom shot Kel a mischievous look, their prior actions forgotten. He jerked his head towards the door. Kel nodded and quickly crouched down, dashing for the door in the process. The entire restaurant seemed to have gone quiet as a resounding shriek was heard coming from Lady Marie. Kel and Dom quickly sprinted out of The Chevalier as hurriedly as they could without making it too obvious that it was they were the notorious culprits. 

They emerged laughing, Kel nearly in hysterics by the time they had ran far enough away that Lady Marie's screams were only half audible. Dom was in the same condition. They found a bench nearby where they could vent their laughter properly.

"Did you see-" Kel started breathlessly.

"The look-" Dom interrupted, shuddering from mirth. 

"On that woman's face?" Kel finished, leaning up against Dom's shoulder to steady herself. 

"Dom turned to look at her. "It was _flawless_!" he exclaimed, gripping Kel's shoulders with his hands. "The perfect setup! We _need_ to do that to My Lord Raoul. Payback for that pie incident..." he shuddered. 

Kel laughed, noticing a bit of syrup that had splattered onto Dom's face. "Oh, here, look. You've gotten syrup on your face," she said, a bit more subdued.

"_I_ got syrup on my face? Excuse me, if you had just stopped when I had _asked_ you to, this wouldn't have happened," he protested halfheartedly. "So therefore, _you_ got syrup on my face," he declared, a smile still gracing his face.

"Oh, come now, Dom," Kel objected, licking her thumb and rubbing the syrup off his cheek. "It was your fault, and you know it."

Dom looked at her skeptically before shrugging and grinning. "Find. I get credit for the brilliant act, then." Kel scowled at him. "Uh-uh," he told her before she could dispute the matter. "You can't have your cake and eat it too."

Kel gave a halfhearted frown. "That's a crappy saying. I mean, why wouldn't I want to have my cake and eat it too? That would just be stupid-"

Dom put a finger over her lips and smiled. "Better," he told her before he did something that Kel knew she would probably find very unintelligent later. 

He kissed her.

Dom's mouth was warm and compassionate as he tightened his embrace on her. Kel found herself almost inexorably drawn to kiss him back. She didn't know what she was thinking, or if she was even in her right mind or not for that matter. Dom was kissing her, and making her feel like at just that moment, she was the only person in the world. 

Dom pulled back slowly, breathing in the scent of her. She smelled like tea. She always smelled like tea. He had noticed that over the course of their relationship. It intoxicated him to the point where his lips were only scant distance away. His tongue darted out to wet his lips. Kel stared at him wide-eyed, her lips just slightly parted. 

"Uh... Dom?"

He silenced her with his lips on hers again. It was less ardent than his last kiss; almost what Kel supposed a first kiss should be like. His lips were sweet and gentle against hers, a soft, feathery caress brushing against her mouth. Dom's hands moved up to cup her face as if it was made for his touch. Kel found that she could only stare, gaping at him with her eyes.

When he finally pulled away, his cheeks were spotted with two distinct spots of color. He looked up at her open eyes and moved his thumbs to touch them. "I heard it was rude to stare when you're being kissed," he teased softly, a smile twitching at the corners of his mouth. 

"It's not often I'm kissed without warning," Kel whispered in defense, her face still close to his. 

"I warned you," Dom started. "I told you I wanted to court you, didn't I? You knew that at some perfectly random time I might just lean over and kiss you. So there." He grinned smugly.

"Shut up Dom."

"Ha. I finally have you at a loss for words. That means I can kiss you again." 

Before Kel could react, Dom leaned over and covered her lips with his own for the third time that day. This time, he was more passionate in his endeavors, kissing her heatedly, Kel unable to do much besides kiss him back.

For some strange reason, the only thing she could think of was that she was cheating on Neal.

Kel pulled back suddenly from Dom's embrace, frowning. Dom creased his forehead. "What's wrong, Princess?" He raised his eyebrows in concern.

Kel looked at him for a moment before shaking her head. "It's – it's nothing. Come on. We – um – shouldn't do this in public."

"Is that an invitation?" Dom asked her, his mind wandering to the particular things they could do in – ahem – private. 

Kel shot him a look. "And just where do you think that invitation is to? My bedroom? If that's what you think, don't even bother." She began to stand up angrily, but Dom darted an arm out to stop her. 

"Kel," he began. "I – I wasn't thinking like that. I know you're not the kind of girl that would – do that with a man." He looked down at his feet.

"So you propose that I would do that with a woman?" Kel asked, pulling away from him.

"No!" Dom cried out, his eyes darting upward to look at her. "Gods, Kel, I'm trying to apologize."

Kel looked at him sheepishly for a moment before settling back in next to him. "Sorry. I've been having a bit of a tough week, is all. I don't mean to be so uptight."

"Do you want me to give you a massage when we get back to the palace?" Dom speculated. "To work out the tension, I mean."

Kel blanched. She wasn't sure if she was comfortable having him kiss her, much less giving her a massage, most likely in either her room or his. 

"Um... that's all right. I'm fine. Really. It's – okay. Truly, Dom, I am," Kel answered slowly, stumbling over her words. 

Dom looked a bit disappointed. "Well, all right. If you're sure." He bent over and kissed her lightly. Do you want to walk around a bit, maybe take in the sights?"

Kel sighed in something resembling relief. "Ah – sure."

"Great. Let's go," Dom said, taking her hand and pulling her to her feet.

* ~ * ~ * ~ * __

Kel and Dom spent the rest of the day together, shopping and exploring the city of Corus – the upper and lower sections of it. Dom paid for all expenses, rewarding Kel with a new pair of riding gloves and some saddle oil. He didn't mention Kel's "admirer" all day except for once, right after he had kissed her in front of an inn dubbed "The Prancing Pony." He had asked Kel again where she had gotten the necklace from, and again, Kel had denied him the information. Dom returned Kel to her rooms after dinnertime, bidding her goodbye with a sound kiss on the lips. 

Kel sighed as she looked to her desk. As maid of honor, certain responsibilities were required of her. That meant paperwork. A small mound of it, to be precise. Kel was simply _overjoyed._

_'Damn paperwork,'_ she mused, somewhat annoyed. _'Why can't they just do it themselves? Or get their parents to do it?'_

Kel headed over to her desk and stared down at it. It was the forms for the dresses of both the bride and bridesmaids, rings, and some of the expenses that she had agreed to work out for Yuki to save her some time. _'Why did I do that? Damn self righteous nature.'_

Kel mentally shook her head. She was doing a good thing for Yuki by getting these things done. And it wasn't like she had anything better to do until she went to sleep.

Exhaling deeply, Kel started on some of the mathematics required of her for the paperwork. She felt her eyes starting to droop by the fifth sheet. It was just so incredibly _dull_... and Dom had kept her moving for most of the day. In more ways than one...

_'I really don't know what I'm doing,'_ Kel thought, allowing her mind to drift away from paperwork. _'I mean, I like him. Of course I like him. I've liked him since the first time I saw him. I'm attracted to him. He has the most amazing blue eyes I've ever seen. And he's a sergeant in My Lord's Own. He's not some idiot who couldn't tell a lance from a daisy. He seems perfectly attracted to me. He certainly kissed me enough to prove that.'_

Kel tapped her quill lazily on the desk. _'I wonder what Neal will think of when he finds out. No doubt, Dom will have ended up telling him. I hope he doesn't act like the over protective older brother like he did before. It got perfectly tiring after a while. Not to mention hazardous to each other's health. The number of times Peachblossom had to bite him became simply atrocious in the end.'_

Kel smiled despite herself. Her horse biting him almost perpetually _was _quite comical, albeit painful to him. Peachblossom _did _have a talent for making Neal's discomfiture amusing.    

'_He doesn't know when to intervene at the right time, though,'_ Kel thought bitterly, her cheerful mood forgotten in an instant. _'Kissing me on the bloody horse. Why doesn't he just scream it to the entire world? Dom could have looked over and saw, and then where would our relationship have been? For all I know, Dom could have decided it fit to come over and sock Neal right in the nose! No, that's ridiculous. Dom wouldn't do that.'_

Kel let out a deep breath. _'You're letting your imagination get the best of you, Kel. Get a grip.'_

Kel moaned and looked back at the paperwork. Deciding that mathematics, no matter how dry it may seem to a tired eye, was preferable to her mind wandering to odd and perverse conclusions, she buried herself in work, not noticing as the candle she was working by burned down to near nothing. 

By the time she had finished, Kel was certifiably tired. It _had_ been a long day, after all. Eyeing the candle, she wet her fingers and snuffed it out, leaving a trace of smoke where the flame had been lit. Stripping off everything but her loins, she retrieved a nightgown from her dresser drawer. Kel cleaned her teeth and face in a hazy state, eyes half closed by the time she reached the bed. She flung herself down onto it, and found with much satisfaction that it was just and soft and warm as ever. Kel nestled into her covers, hugging them to her as close as possible – 

When unexpectedly, a knock came from her front door.

Keel's eyes darted open as she moaned quietly. It had to be at least ten, maybe later. What person in their right mind would come to interrupt her _now_, of all times? Maybe it was the tiredness getting to her, but Kel was more than amply annoyed when the perpetrator knocked on her door again. 

Grumbling, Kel flung the covers off her and stalked angrily over to the door. Whoever was there was going to find a very irritated, very irate lady knight at her door. Grabbing the handle and twisting it open jarringly, she thoroughly prepared herself to glare at whoever was currently at her door – 

And felt her anger dissipate as a surge of severe uncertainty overcame her.

Neal was standing at her door, holding a bouquet of yellow carnations under his arm. He looked at her hopefully, green eyes flickering with something resembling remorse. His hair was tousled effectively, giving him the look like he had just rolled out of bed. He wore a plain white shirt and brown breeches that matched the muddy color of his hair. His hands clutched at the flowers nervously, fingers playing across the surface of the stems, memorizing every line of them.

Kel stared at him for a moment as her jaw dropped a bit. Then, she raised her eyebrows in askance for _some_ kind of explanation.

Neal, seeing that he had go to speak, began. "Um... I got these for you." He held out the flowers to Kel. She simply raised her eyebrows higher. "Uh... I'm no good at apologies, but since I've resigned myself to do this-" he paused "-I'm sorry. I'm sorry for making you feel uncomfortable, and like I'm cheating on Yuki, even though I'm not, and I'm sorry for touching you and buying you that necklace and I'm sorry for being a general ass for the majority of your time here. So... accept my apology? Please?" When he expression didn't change, he tried another tactic. "I rode all the way down to the city and had to bribe the owner of the flower shop to open up for me so that I could buy these," he told her, trying to get her to forgive him.

Kel stared at him in wonder for a moment. She hadn't thought that he would have gone to all the trouble just to apologize... At the base of the bouquet lie a sign that read, 'I'm sorry,' in green and yellow. Maybe not the best color scheme, but coming from him, it meant the world to her.

Wordlessly, she took the flowers from him. "Come in," she told him simply as she turned around and walked inside, tiredness momentarily forgotten. Neal followed her on her heals, closing the door behind him. 

Kel nodded to one of the couches. "Sit. Stay a while," she told him as she reached into a cabinet and pulled out a glass vase. Taking water from a convenient nearby basin, she poured some into the vase, taking care not to spill. Wordlessly, she unwrapped the flowers from their bindings and placed them in the water. Satisfied that her job was done, she placed the vase on a table in her main living quarters. 

"So. You didn't have to apologize, you know. We would have been forced to forgive each other soon enough," Kel told him as she sat down next to him.

Neal sighed. "I know. But the agony of not having someone to tease was killing me." Kel snorted and looked at him. 

"You must have rode to the city at full speed for your hair to look like that," she told him as she reached up to run fingers through his hair, trying to straighten it out. Neal squirmed indignantly. 

"Excuse you. I can fix my own hair," he said authoritatively, even as he made no move to stop her. Kel snickered as she finished straightening his hair into back into place.

"Come now. It's the least I can do for getting me flowers _and_ making the first move to apologize. You're usually the more stubborn of the two of us, and it must have been a big step for you." Kel grinned as she pulled away and rested her hands in her lap.

"Oh... be quiet. How was your date with Dom?" he asked, a teasing smirk appearing on his face. 

Kel gave him a look. "Do you two have mental telepathy or something that you always know these things?" The corners of his mouth edged upwards as he smiled innocently. Kel sighed. "It went quite well, if you _must _know. It's nice to have a man who will pay for things."

"And I don't?" Neal asked, looking playfully offended. "I buy you flowers, I buy you jewelry... what else do you want?"

Kel rolled her eyes and smirked. "Well, I have been wanting that set of practice weights... and I've been running low on bruise balm..." she grinned. 

"I'll bet. So has he kissed you yet?" 

"What, he hasn't told you ever orgasmic thing that happened to us on our supposed date? I'm surprised, since you two seem to be so into telling the other about my love life." Kel raised in eyebrow as Neal suddenly turned white.

"Orgasmic? As in... Ahh... Gods, I didn't want to just think about that. I've _obviously_ been hanging around you too much, with your perverse fantasies about me. They've been getting to me." He shook his head as Kel pushed him in the shoulder.

"Do you _really_ have to continue to think things like that?" she asked him, annoyed from the tone of her voice.

"Yes."

Kel glowered at him, crossing her arms across her chest. Neal simply stared at her, mildly amused. It made Kel feel quite ridiculous, which was why, shortly after her display of annoyance and anger, she sighed and uncrossed them. 

"What do you want to know?" she asked him, eyes dull.

Neal beamed at the possibilities. "One: Has he kissed you?"

"Yes."

"Two: How many times?"

"I don't remember."

Neal grinned. "Oo. Too many times to count. This is getting interesting."

Kel glared at him. "Are you going to make this into twenty one questions?"

"It's quite probable." He cocked his head and smirked. "Three: Have you done anything past kissing?"

"As in him feeling me in places he probably shouldn't, kissing me anywhere below the neck, etcetera, etcetera?" Neal nodded. "No."

His face fell a bit. "Ah, well. It would have been more interesting if he had, but... have you done anything of the above mentioned actions to him?"

"No," she replied monotonously.

Neal sighed. "Boring. There's no excitement in your relationship."

"So sue me." 

"Didn't Cleon teach you anything about the proper way to make out with someone?"

A distinct "thwap" resounded through Kel's living quarters as she punched Neal in the stomach. 

"Guess not," he squeaked as he regained his breath. "Ok, what is this, now, four? Five?"

"Five," Kel replied.

"All right, five: have you ever had obscene fantasies and/or lusty dreams about Dom?"  

"No," she answered carefully. Neal raised an eyebrow and smirked.

"Six: Have you ever had obscene fantasies and/or lusty dreams about any man _or _woman?" Kel looked at him incredulously. "What? It could happen."

"Absolutely not with a woman," she told him, a bit of annoyance leaking through her usually calm features.

"But possibly with a man...?" Neal smirked.

Kel simply glowered at him. "No," she said with a bit too much hesitation.

"You're lying," he said simply. 

"So what? Have _you_ ever had an obscene fantasy and/or lusty dream about any member of any sex?" she asked him sharply.

"Who's asking the questions here?" Neal asked her, folding his arms across his chest.

"I am. Now answer the question."

"Yes," he answered plainly. 

Kel raised an eyebrow. "Really? About who?"

Neal blushed. "You're not getting that one out of me."

"What? Too embarrassed?"

"Yep." He looked at her, a smile tugging at the corners of his face. 

"Really," Kel stated. "If I guess correctly, will you tell me?"

Neal pursed his lips, pretending to think, before turning to answer her. "Yes."

"Ok," Kel said, thinking about possible prospects. "Hm. Yuki?" Neal shook his head. "Ok. Ah... Uline?" Again, Neal shook his head. "Cleon?" Neal pulled back with a look of disbelief. 

"I can't believe you just said that."

"Kidding, love. Kidding. Back to guessing... Shinko? Thayet? Kalasin? Lady Jada?" All of her guesses were met with a negative 'no.' "Merric?" Kel asked finally.

Neal creased his forehead. "I'll give you a hint. It's not a member of the male sex."

"Oh, good. That's a relief." Kel gave an over exaggerated sigh of relief, while Neal scowled at her. 

Kel rolled off the names of almost every female she knew, including Alanna the Lioness, Lalasa, and a teasing Lord Wyldon, for Neal had once made a speculation about the inner workings of their over enthusiastic training master. Neal simply glared.

"You really can't guess?" he asked her finally, after Kel could think of no more names.

"Just tell me, would you? I'm getting tired of this." 

"No," he replied sweetly, giving her a maddening smile. 

Kel glared at him before taking one last guess. "Eda Bell?"

Neal blinked for a moment, then pulled away. "Shut up," he said, a grimace forming over his face.

"Oh my. It is?" Kel asked, an inexorable grin spreading across her features.

"No," he replied vehemently. "It's just so wrong that I don't want to have that picture in my head for the rest of the night."

"Sure," Kel said, disbelievingly. She found it quite amusing that Neal was going through this right now, and didn't want to let opportunity go awry. 

Neal looked at her dubiously for a moment before blinking. "Shut up."

"No." A grin tugged at the corners of her mouth.

"Just – shut up," he said, creasing his forehead in annoyance.

Kel grinned. "Make me."

Neal raised an eyebrow. "You really want me to make you?"

Kel snickered. "Do your worst."

"Fine," he said before he leaned over and pressed his lips against hers.

It was _intended _to be a brotherly kiss.

It didn't stay brotherly for more than an instant.

Kel froze – and most _definitely _stopped talking for the time being. She knew that he was just doing it to spite her – but it was damn nice to have him kiss her like he actually felt something for her besides friendship and the occasional annoyance. She knew she shouldn't... but Neal was _kissing_ her. It wasn't some everyday occurrence that could just be shirked away as something trivial.

Kel came off the more flushed of the two, cheeks burning scarlet as Neal pulled away from her. Her eyes remained on his, looking for the signal of indecision she was sure to come. 

Suddenly, Neal grinned. "Well I see I've left you speechless. Maybe I should do that more often. It certainly leaves you the quieter of the two of us."

Kel opened and closed her mouth wordlessly, unable to produce a coherent noise. She finally blurted out, "You bastard!" before hitting him in the shoulder.

"Ow!" Neal cried as he gripped his arm. "That hurt!"

"I hope so," Kel retorted, refusing to meet his eye as she steamed with silent rage. She knew she had goaded him into this, but _honestly_. Did he really have to rub it in like that?

Neal snorted and looked at her with soft eyes. Kel found her temper subsiding. How could he look at her like that after she had just inflicted bodily injury onto him? It wasn't fair that they had been friends for so long. She could have stood it if he had walked away in an angry huff; that at least, she could understand. But when he looked at her like she was the only thing that made him truly happy in the world... it was something you couldn't forget lightly.

"Kel, look at me," Neal said, his voice soft and warm. "Look at me."

Kel slowly lifted her pouting gaze to meet his eyes. The were pounding down on her, suffocating her with just a look. She was drowning in pools of clear green...

"I'm sorry." Kel was broken out of her reverie with his simple words and frowned at him. 

"Don't be."

"Why?" Neal raised his eyebrows in askance.

"You can't help being a bastard."

Neal pretended to wince. "Ouch. You certainly know where to stick the daggers."

"I learned from the best." She grinned at him then, momentarily forgetting her annoyance and maliciousness. She had learned a long time ago that she could never stay angry with him for long. He smiled back at her as a warm flood of heat overcame her. She would be as damn well aroused by him as she wanted if he had the nerve to come trouncing into her room while she was sleeping and have the audacity to kiss her there. 

They sat in silence for a moment before Kel asked him, "So who _was_ it, anyway? Not Eda Bell."

Neal shook his head. "No. Not Eda Bell," he replied, a familiar grin spreading across his face. 

"Then who?" Kel asked him, a bit more incessantly. Neal shrugged sheepishly, a blush spreading across his soft, sculptured cheeks. "You're blushing," she informed him with a smirk.

Neal lowered his face in an attempt to hide the redness emitting from his cheeks. "Am not," he answered defensively. 

"Are too," Kel told him, eyes shining with amusement. Neal scowled at her and pursed his lips. 

"Oh... am not," he said, unable to think of a more intelligent remark.

Kel snickered and leaned closer to him. "At least think of something better than that. Be creative."

"All right," Neal started, thinking for a moment before he spoke. "I am not blushing because I am embarrassed for myself." He paused. "I am blushing because I am embarrassed of what you might do if you find _out_ who I've been dreaming about." He grinned smugly. Kel blinked.

"You do realize that that made absolutely no sense at all."

"I am perfectly aware of that," Neal said haughtily. Kel shook her head. For all she loved him, he could be a bit clueless at times.

She sighed. "Whatever. I think I'll be happier not knowing whom you had lusty dreams about. It might be harmful to my health if I found out."

Neal nodded affirmatively. "Yes, very harmful." On second thought, he mumbled under his breath, "Yuki might decide to hit you over the head with that shusuken of hers if she ever found out."

"What?" Kel asked, leaning in closer to him. 

"Er... Nothing Kel. Really. I'm just mumbling incoherent things under my breath again."

"Ah. That just clears everything up."

"Doesn't it?" Neal smiled at her and stood up. "Well, ah, it's been a long night, and I think I should be – "

"Leaving so soon?" Kel asked, taking his hand in hers. Neal stiffened. "We haven't even had a chance to have some _real_ fun." She winked at him.

Neal blanched. _What_ in the name of all the gods in the Eastern and Southern lands did she think she was doing? She was – purposefully – _flirting_ with him! That wasn't fair... she wasn't supposed to be able to flirt with him and make _him _feel uncomfortable... That was his job! Gods, she was infuriating with her unpredictable womanly ways...

"Ah... Kel? _Fun_? What do you define as fun, because, I mean – heh – I'm certainly all funned out for the night," Neal laughed nervously. Kel gave him a sly smile. 

Suddenly, Neal swallowed as his eyes became accusatory. "You _witch_!" he charged her, looking at her disbelievingly. "You're trying to – to – _seduce_ me! This isn't fair!"

Kel laughed at him as she slouched back in them couch. "All's fair in love and war."

"This – this isn't love! It's not even a mild attraction!"

"I never said," Kel started, "it was love."

"Great," Neal exclaimed, throwing up his hands in exasperation. "I'm at war with my best friend." 

"Isn't it _wonderful_?" she asked him, crossing one leg over the other. Neal's nostril's flared. 

"No. It's quite frustrating actually," he notified her. 

"Better yet." Kel grinned. 

"Oh... you're infuriating."

"You're just mad that I can turn you on," she said as she traced a finger over her stomach. Neal watched her movements with rapt attention before turning to her.

"This isn't fair. Would you like for me to take _my_ shirt off and feel _myself_ up?" 

"So you admit that I'm turning you on."

Neal's mouth worked wordlessly before he scowled at her. "Stop it."

"What?" Kel asked angrily as she stood up off her spot on the couch, rising up to meet him. She poked a finger heatedly at his chest. "Just because I'm _finally_ taking the bloody initiative and not letting _you_ end up turning me on, it's not _fair_? Well, I'm _making _it fair! I'll make whatever I _want _fair! And I will _enjoy _it! And if you even _try_ to stop me from enjoying what I am determined to enjoy, then I will _destroy_ you!" 

Kel fumed at him as Neal stared at her in a moment of intense fervor before snaking an arm around her waist and grabbing her roughly. "Is this what you want, Kel?" he whispered hoarsely in her ear before pulling her over to the couch. "Is this really what you want?" Kel braced herself as she fell sharply onto the couch. Kel couldn't think to make a coherent reply, other than to grab his arm and jerk him downwards. 

Her breath came ragged as Neal straddled her, positioning his legs around her so that he was in control. Kel noticed then that she still had on that god be damned thin nightgown she had been wearing every night they had seen each other. It was getting quite redundant.

Neal brushed away a lock of hair that had fallen in Kel's face as he cupped her chin. Moving his hands down her chest, he pulled her up closer to him by her back, the bases of his palms resting on her breasts. He traced his mouth on the side of her neck, small, feathery touches compared to the pressure he was exerting on the rest of her body. His breath came warm and heavy as he moved his mouth upwards towards her ear. His tongue darted out to lick the hollow of his ear as he breathed firm words to her.

"Just remember – I can beat you at any game of seduction, any time, any day." He pulled away to look at her and raised an eyebrow before disentangling himself from her.

Kel's eyes widened before she could fully comprehend what had just happened. Neal was up on his feet by now, straightening his shirt and his breeches so that they didn't look like he had just been touching his best friend in very intimate places. He patted down his tousled hair as Kel stared up at him from the couch.

"You – bastard," she spat.

"You know you love me for it," he said sweetly as he turned to the door. Kel gawked at him in amazement. How could he just be so – _calm_? It was _impossible_ to be this unruffled after – _doing that_! It just _was_!

"I'll be seeing you tomorrow at breakfast, then, sweetling?" he asked her as he made his way for the door. 

"I hate you," Kel enlightened him with a maliciousness she usually wasn't forced to bring out. 

"I love you too," he said with a grin before turning the doorknob and opening it. "Hope you have a good time with _Dom_ tomorrow," he drawled as he walked out of her room, perfectly composed and relaxed. 

He smiled as he heard the shrilly scream echo from within Kel's suite.

* ~ * ~ * ~ * 

A/N: Well. My emotions certainly went a bit haywire this chapter. Not that I'm not totally drooling over how sexy Neal is but... Teehee. Er... with the Legolas thing, I don't think that he's gay, my FRIENDS did and I was angry at them for quite some time because of it. I think Legolas is the hottest thing ever. My cute hot elf... Right. Anyway, I have to make this short because my mother is currently yelling at me. Er... hope everyone didn't die too badly in school on Thursday. And if you go back Monday, damn you to hell. My old school does that... I'm so jealous. Oh well. Review please, or I shalt be very put down. OH, btw, this is 22 pages long. My longest EVER. So be happy. I find myself with nothing to do since my internet has been down. So leave a nice, lengthy review and I shalt be happy. Pleasus? Yay. Thank you to everyone who reviewed. I love you all. Y'all rock my box.

Love,

Stacey


	11. The Rules of Attraction

Disclaimer: Not the last time I checked. You might want to ask Tamora Pierce, she would probably know who owns them. Teehee. Although, I own half of what Neal does. So there. Ahm... the line, "I will go wherever you want me to, Yoda" belongs to the movie Miss Congeniality. And whatever else I forget to disclaim belongs to them. So... yeah.

A/N: All right, you caught me. So I had just read Arrows Flight for the first time and was a little excited about the EXTREME hottishness of Kris. It's not my fault. So anyway, the line, "It was _intended_ to be a brotherly kiss. It didn't stay brotherly for more than an instant" belongs to Mercedes Lackey, that genius who owns Kris, Dirk, and most especially *sigh* Skif. Does anyone know if that's him on the back of Winds of Fury? I think it is, but I've only read the Talia books so far, and I just looked fondly at WoF. But if it is, then seriously, I WANT HIM. Right here, right now. Teehee. Thief. Teehee.

_Is it that we've been together much too long?_

_The answer may not be in black and white_

_We're always trying to prove who's right or wrong_

_And now we're giving up without a fight_

_But I know when you're gone_

_I'll wish I held on_

            Heart – _Surrender To Me_

Underneath the Surface – Chapter 10 – The Rules of Attraction 

"He's coming _tomorrow_? Here? Now? Why? Why in the name of good Mithros would he come _tomorrow_? That's absurd! Ludicrous! I think I'm going to have a hemorrhoid. Do you think if I had a hemorrhoid he wouldn't come? That would be convenient. Very much so, actually. Do you think so, Thayet?" King Jonathan of Conté asked his queen, Thayet the Peerless, his voice dripping in sarcasm and disdain. 

Thayet sighed. "I know this is last minute, but we have to make the best of it. It's not everyday a diplomat of the kingdom of Tyra decides to drop by. Just – we'll have to accommodate them as well as we can."

"So what do you _suggest_, Thayet?" Jon asked her, rubbing his temples roughly with his fingers. 

Thayet bit her inner lip, careful not to smear any of the cherry rogue that was spread carefully across her soft mouth. "We could always have another ball," she said, shrugging her dainty shoulders and cocking her head.

Jonathan looked up in mild annoyance. "Another one? Do you realize how many we've had in the past month? Even _I'm_ getting tired of them, and you know me, Thayet. If you keep making me come to these things I'm going to become as bad as Raoul or Alanna and then where will I be? A king that doesn't come to his balls. Pah." He shook his head.

Thayet glanced at him crossly. "And do _you_ have a better idea, high and mighty? It _is_ custom to treat foreign diplomats with that kind of courtesy, you know. Holding a ball in their honor is _protocol_, not even mentioning all the extras we'll have to drop in. All those fruit baskets..." she shuddered. "But honestly, Jon. Think of something better and I'll be all for it. But until you do, I propose we have a ball." Thayet said, her voice crisp and clear. Jon sighed and buried his head in his hands.

"They just _had_ to pick tomorrow to come without notice, didn't they?" he asked quietly, yet hiding a derisive tone behind his soft words.

"Of course they did, dearest," Thayet told him. "They simply love to irritate us with these things and make us throw balls for them last minute. I'm sure it's their greatest joy to annoy the King of Tortall," she said sardonically.

Jon looked up at her and scowled before he sighed and softened his features. "Fine. We'll have a bloody ball. I don't care though. Just – get someone doing _something_, for Mithros' Sake! We only have a day to coordinate this entire thing! I figure we can get Oakbridge to drill the pages in serving, and Numair can decorate and move the tables with his magic I'm guessing, and the cooks will have to work extra hard, but they'll probably be able to pull it off..."

Thayet hid a smile from her husband behind a Yamani fan. She had taken to carrying one with her wherever she went. It came in handy, especially in front of foreign diplomats who decided to get a little _too _friendly for her tastes.

"Good. Now that it's decided, I've already taken the liberty of telling the cooks that they need to prepare, and Oakbridge that he's going to have to have the pages serve, and Numair that he's going to do the decorations. All that's left is – _nothing_." Thayet nodded smugly.

Jon looked up at her incredulously before breaking out into a grin. "Did I ever tell you that you're amazing?"

"I know," Thayet responded as Jon laughed.

* ~ * ~ * ~ *

 "What?" Cleon asked loudly as his wife laughed heartily. "There's a – there's a ball? Eek."

Ermelian chuckled. "What? Scared of the big, bad, ball?" 

"No..." Cleon started. "It's just, last time I was at a ball, Merric through whipped cream all over me. It wasn't fun."

"He threw whipped cream on you?" Ermelian asked. "How did he manage that?" 

"He was drunk," Cleon explained. "And he got a hold of some of the cooks' stores, and voila. A whipped Cleon." Ermelian snorted as a yawning Kel came up from behind them. 

"What's this I hear about drunk?" she asked sleepily, covering her mouth as she sat down next to them at the breakfast table.

"Oh, remember that last ball where Merric got drunk and-"

"Got the whipped cream all over you?" Kel finished. "Yeah, that was funny. He should do that again."

Cleon shook his head and returned to his breakfast platter, stabbing his sausage lazily. "There's going to be a ball."

Kel's head darted up to look at him. "_What?_"

Cleon nodded glumly. "Tell me about it. I don't want to get doused with whipped cream again." He shuddered.

"Oh, come now. Think of the bright side. There will be dancing, and food..." Ermelian looked at her husband hopefully. "You can't honestly not go. It's your duty as knight of the realm."

Cleon blinked and looked at her strangely. "One, there is _always _a ball to go to, no matter what time of the week it is. There will always be dancing, there will always be food... and I _do not _want to go." Cleon crossed his arms over his chest.

"Oh, come on, dearie. You _have_ to," Ermelian pleaded. When she saw that Cleon's look hadn't changed, she tried another tactic. "You'll be sleeping on the floor for a couple of weeks if you don't go with me."

Cleon instantly turned white as he swallowed the last of his food. "Ack. That was harsh."

Ermelian snorted indignantly as Kel continued to watch them. Apparently, no love had been lost because of the recent revelation that had come to light about her and Cleon. They seemed as happy as two newlyweds. Which they incidentally were.

"Oh, come on, Cleon," Ermelian said softly, tracing a smooth finger up Cleon's tunic. He visibly went red. "Come to the ball with me? I promise, you won't regret it later," she whispered softly, a small smile escaping her face. 

Kel coughed. Sometimes, she really thought people needed to learn what _tact_ was.

Ermelian turned to look at her, smiling sweetly, yet with a bit of vileness that Kel hadn't expected to see. She pulled away.

"Yes, _Lady_ Kel?" Ermelian asked her, slinging an arm around Cleon's shoulder so that she faced Kel. 

Kel blinked. "Ah... it's nothing. Just..."

"Just _what_?" Cleon's wife asked her, giving her a faint scowl beneath her smiling face. 

_'Guess she's holding a grudge,'_ Kel thought forlornly. _'Oh well. It was nice while it lasted. I shouldn't have opened my mouth like that.'_

"What she _wants_ to say, but won't," a voice said from behind Kel as she felt lips press against her cheek and arms wrap around her. "Get a room."

Neal smiled as he sat down next to Kel. The Lady Knight turned to look at him, her features blank. "What, no kiss hello?"

Ermelian snorted under her breath. "Now who needs a room?" she muttered. Neal looked at her and stuck his tongue out, acting the childish prat.

He returned his gaze to Kel and leaned in closely to her, touching his forehead to hers. Kel felt heat rush to her cheeks. And certain _other _parts of her body. It was much too early for this.

"Sleep well?" he asked, keeping his face close. Her raised a teasing eyebrow.

"Like a baby," Kel told him, scowling as she pulled away. Neal simply laughed in amusement. 

From across from them, Cleon coughed conspicuously. Kel blushed and averted her face from his scrutiny. Cracking his knuckles, Neal looked down at the plate he had carried from the food line. "Mm. Breakfast," he said before busying himself with his eggs. 

Kel sighed as she returned her gaze to her own plate. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Cleon watching her strangely. His gray eyes were penetrating as Ermelian ranted on about - _something_. She tended not to listen to the girl. Kel looked up at Cleon. He met her eyes before turning his glance quickly to his wife.

Kel shook her head. She sometimes wondered if people knew something about her that she didn't. Maybe there was a nice notice flying around the palace that told her deepest darkest secrets to the world. Gossip at its best. Not a comforting thought. 

She busied herself with her food, trying to forget the steady heat coming from her side where Neal was sitting. She hadn't even bothered _trying_ to be truly mad at him for last night. She knew she would just end up forgiving him anyway. However, she had firmly told herself that she was _not_ going to act like she had previously. No flirting, no use of hands – our mouths for that matter – no being aroused by him... _probably_...

Kel gritted her teeth into her food. This wasn't right. She should be thinking these things...

And yet, she found that in every spare moment of time she had, she was.

She was thinking of him, and what it would be like to be with him, and love him, and be able to do the sorts of things to him she would never have _dreamed_ of doing with Dom... She couldn't stop, albeit she tried hard enough. It was like a drug – once you started, you couldn't stop.

And the over excessive presence of that drug didn't help one bit. 

Kel was huddled so deep into her thoughts that she didn't notice Yuki and Dom come in together, talking animatedly like old friends. 

Neal, however, did.

He supposed he should have felt something bordering on jealousy as he watched them talk together on the breakfast line – but he didn't. It should have disturbed him, he supposed, that he didn't have a certain protectiveness over her like most normal lovers did. That he didn't mind when she talked to another man. That he thought it was perfectly fine for them to have an intelligent conversation where Neal couldn't keep an eye on them.

He supposed it should have disturbed him. But it didn't.

In fact, the thing that disturbed him more was the fact that he knew every ripple of color in Kel's eyes by heart. Every fraction of green and brown, every tiny sparkle that shone brightly in her expressions, every look of joy and happiness on her face. _That _was what disturbed him.

Yet somehow, he didn't mind.

Kel jumped when Dom came up behind her and put his hands on her shoulders. She looked up at him, startled, but then smiled. Did Neal sense a twinge of uneasiness radiating from her?

Yuki came up and sat next to him. She smiled at her soon to be husband and reached over and squeezed his hand before saying, "Good morning."

"Morning, love," Neal told her as Dom sat down next to Kel, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. Neal saw Kel stiffen out of the corner of his eye, but let it go. Ermelian, strangely enough, saw it as well, yet decided not to mention it. This particular morning had been tensing enough. Cleon, however, had no particular qualms about voicing his worry for Kel. 

"All right, Kel? You look like you've seen a ghost," he expressed, turning to her and looking at her with worried eyes.

Kel blinked and flushed. _'And I thought only Neal could read me so well... Perfect.' _She smiled uneasily at him. "I'm fine, Cleon. Why would you think otherwise?"

Cleon looked at Dom one last time before shrugging and returning to his food. The mood was effectively ruined, for Kel at least. Was she that transparent to all her friends? 

Apparently, however, the mood wasn't ruined for the rest of their small group. Dom and Yuki were continuing their previous conversation, which turned out to be about some kind of politics. It was _almost _bordering on gossip – but it wasn't. Kel didn't want to bother paying attention. She had never been too keen on keeping up with the affairs of state, although she found it inevitable at times. However, this time, she found herself being drawn into it by a certain squawking noise emerging from Neal's direction.

"What? Ball? Tomorrow? Eek." Neal grimaced. 

"Now you know how I feel," Cleon told him, nodding his head solemnly. "It's mad what they make us do."

"No, it's not that," Neal started. "I – um – had an appointment to get a haircut tomorrow. You know, it's very difficult to get an appointment this time of year!" he exclaimed at his friends' outrageous expressions. "Oh... shut up all of you."

"Aw... does poor little Nealan need a widdy biddy haircut?" Kel teased him, turning to him and running fingers through his hair. Neal winced indignantly. "You _can_ get them done at the palace, you know."

"I know," he protested as he removed Kel's hands from his head, moving them down to his shoulders. "But they have this – special – _oil _that they put in! It's not my fault! It takes a lot to get the look I have!" Kel snorted as she leaned in closer to him.

"You're such a girl, Neal. Even I'm not that bad and I _am_ a girl," she said humorously, lowering her voice.

"You sure didn't say that last night," Neal said before he could stop the words from escaping his mouth.

Yuki blinked. 

Dom blinked. 

Kel scowled at Neal as she promptly removed her hands from his shoulders. Neal looked away from her as subtly as possibly. Ermelian had a bit of a smug look on her face, like she knew all along Kel and Neal were having a bit of a love affair, and Cleon simply sat there, eating his breakfast as if nothing unusual had happened. 

The silence that stretched across the friends seemed incessant. The only distraction present was the sound of Cleon's chomping. Neal slowly turned to look at Yuki. 

"Neal?" she asked him, her eyes accusatory. Neal gave her a weak laugh. 

"Er – Heh... um, kidding?"

Yuki's nostrils flared despite her trained Yamani teaching. "Kidding?" she asked, her voice almost bordering on a growl. 

Neal shook his head, smiling tightly. "It's an inside joke, Yuki. Sorry to disappoint you if you thought I was having a love affair with Kel."

Yuki blushed a deep crimson, and, in her embarrassment, didn't notice that Kel did too. The ever-observant Cleon, however, did, and put the information aside for later use. 

"I – I didn't think you were having a 'love affair' as you so tactfully call it with Kel, I just – oh, I don't know," Yuki sighed in frustration, taking her fan from her waistband and hiding her awkwardness with it. Dom looked at the three of them in something bordering in amusement. _He_ knew that Kel would never cheat on him. He put complete faith in her and her devotion to him. She and Neal had been friends for too long for them to suddenly decide to get together now, anyway. Besides, wasn't a good relationship based on trust?

Ah, the joys of naivety.

"Good," Neal said, giving Yuki an impertinent look. She scowled at him from behind her fan and removed it from her face to hit him in the back of the head with it. 

"Ow!" Neal cried as Yuki hid her face again. "Why did you go and do that?"

"Because," Yuki told him, waving her fan. "You were being an insolent pig." 

"Oh," Neal began, "Great. Just great. I'm never going to stop being the insolent pig I am, so why do you even bother?"

" 'As the priest said to the princess,' " Kel began. 

"I live in hope," Neal finished, turning to her and smiling. She returned his look with the tiniest of blushes. Yuki raised an eyebrow. 

"Just how many inside jokes do you two have, anyway?" she asked, irritation rupturing her usually calm, composed voice. 

"Well, we _have_ been best friends for longer than I can remember. It's inevitable for us to obtain _some_ inside jokes," Neal said as he lifted pert eyebrows and looked at her.

Yuki scowled and turned to her food, obviously not wanting to talk anymore. Silence covered them then, taking hold firmly as the remainder of the friends finished their breakfast. Dom was the first to finish, and the first to leave. He kissed Kel on the cheek, noticing the blush that crept up her cheeks with a smile. Ermelian snorted from her seat next to Cleon, while the red head just continued to eat. Yuki didn't bother to look up when he departed, and Neal was left with a very strange feeling in his stomach, much to his growing uneasiness. 

Yuki was the next to finish. It was odd that of the last two to arrive, they were the first two to finish. She stood and Neal looked up at her. She glanced down at him and frowned. "I'll see you later?" she asked, raising her eyebrows in a question. 

"Sure," Neal told her. Yuki's frown faded as her mouth crinkled up into a small smile. Turning to Kel, she grinned. 

"Do you have anything to wear for the ball?" she asked, raising an eyebrow in amusement. 

"I'll find something," Kel assured her, looking up to her and giving her a confident smile. Yuki returned her expression and gave her a small nod. 

"Not just _something_," Yuki told her. "Tomorrow, you will be spectacular. Today, we will go shopping, and you will get an appropriate dress, and I will make you into a lady yet."

Kel was about to protest when Yuki held up a hand. "You want to impress a certain-" she leaned in closer "-_Domitan_, don't you?"

Kel glared at her, close mouthed. Yuki grinned pleasantly as she leaned over and kissed Neal on the cheek before exiting. Kel growled from the back of her throat. 

"Does everyone know what is going on in my love life?" she asked when Yuki was out of hearing distance. 

"Anyone that cares," Neal answered her. "So little happens in it that this is big news. You putting the-" he coughed –"_moves _– on Dom is quite important to us." He smirked smugly. 

"Oh, it's not like it's even that interesting," Kel hissed. "You said it yourself, we haven't even had sex!"

"We never had sex," Cleon interrupted, looking up from his food for a moment with blank eyes. Ermelian hit him over the head with the flat of her palm. 

Kel blinked. "So many retorts. So little time to chose."

Cleon frowned and rubbed his head. "You just _had_ to do that, didn't you, Mel."

Ermelian seethed at him. "At least have the decency not to say those sort of things while your _wife_ isn't in the same _vicinity _as you!"  

Cleon looked down meekly and blushed, as his freckles became indiscernible from the rest of his face. Ermelian simply scowled at him. 

Neal coughed. "Well, in any case-" he looked to Kel- "the fact that you now have a beau, my cousin no less-" he snorted "-is quite big news amongst us green knights. It's not every day that your best friend goes and makes herself eligible to become one of the family."

Kel looked horrified at the thought. "Gods help me. I forgot that I might end up being related to you. How frightening." She shuddered. 

Neal snorted and gave her a look. "Gods help _you_? Gods help _me_, is more likely. I'm going to be related to a mad female who knows more about me than _I_ do, for Mithros' Sake. Now _that's _frightening."

"You can't honestly think that being related to me is worse than being related to you."

"If the riding glove fits..." Neal smirked. Kel scowled at him pointedly. She had forgotten that she had told him that Dom had given her a pair of riding gloves. Damn. 

"Oh... shut up. Just-" she raised a hand at him "-shut up."

Neal laughed heartily at her, leaning over and kissing her on the cheek. "Gods, you're insane."

"You would know best," Kel said, making a face at him. Neal merely grinned as he shook his head and wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her closer to him as he decided at that minute to turn back to his food and continue eating. 

Kel sighed. What was it with men and their fascination for food?

Ermelian sighed as she finished her food. "I'd best be going. Must go down to town and pick up a dress."

"You could come with us," Kel offered as Ermelian got up. Cleon rose to match her, but she put a hand on his shoulder to keep him down.

"That's all right, Keladry. I was planning on going down with my maid. You can stay here, Cleon."

Cleon looked up at her, eyes questioning until he shrugged at last. "If that's what you want, Mel." She nodded, kissed him on the cheek, and left, her footsteps echoing in the mess. 

Cleon looked after her wistfully. Neal glanced at him in concern. "You all right, Cleon?"

Cleon blinked and averted his gaze from his wife. "Oh, I'm fine." Neal eyed him skeptically. "What?" 

Neal shook his head. "Nothing. It's just that you always seemed so happy before. It's a change. She seems – discontented."

A heat rose to the red head's cheeks. "Oh, she's just mad at me for something I said." When he didn't care to continue, Neal urged him on.

"What did you _say_, Kennan?" he drawled in a boorish voice.

"Ahm..." he coughed. "Well, before the marriage, I had told her that I hadn't been seeing anyone. Ever." He looked down and scratched his head sheepishly. 

Neal blinked. His lips played upward in a smile he was trying to hide. A snort was emitted from his mouth. Kel coughed to hide the laugh that was coming from the back of her throat. Suddenly, Neal burst out in such laughter so abruptly that Kel almost jumped. 

"That's ridiculous! _Everyone's_ been with _someone_! I mean... even _Owen's_ not a virgin!"

Kel blanched. "Too much information," she informed Neal with a tight grin. 

"Sorry," he told her, turning back to Cleon in a fraction of a second. "How could you tell her that! I mean... you really screwed yourself over! _Why_ did you tell her that?" he asked incredulously. 

"Well..." Cleon began, frowning thoughtfully. "It was a couple of days before the wedding, and she was – well, nervous about… you know... so I told her that I _hadn't_ to make her feel better. So be quiet."

"You-" Neal coughed "-you _have_, right? I mean, before the wedding, anyway."

Cleon turned redder than Kel thought was humanly possible.

"Oh my," Neal said softly, a grin etched across the features of his face. "How did you _not_ have sex? I mean... _I_ had sex when I was – gods, a second year page? I think so. But – _gods_!" 

Cleon barely managed to keep an irritated sigh from escaping him. "That would have made you sixteen, Neal. It's not like you lost your virginity when you were twelve." His voice was dry and sarcastic.

"Well, so? Big deal. Now how did you _not _lost your virginity before your wedding?"

"Well," Cleon began defensively, "I liked... Kel. And... well, _she _wasn't exactly going to let me crawl into her pants anytime soon. So I just... _didn't_." He shrugged indifferently.  

Kel snorted. "You know I would have," she said as she rolled her eyes. "You just had terrible timing. And by the time you became betrothed to Ermelian, I wasn't in love with you anymore. Don't feel bad, Cleon. I'm sure other people around here are still virgins." A small smile played across her face.

"Yeah?" Neal asked. "Who?" 

Kel blushed and raised her eyebrows. 

Neal looked at her disbelievingly. "You?" Kel nodded. "Oh. Huh."

"Honestly, Neal. What do you think me for? A harlot?"

"Well, not a harlot, per se... I just always sort of thought that you... weren't. I don't know." He flushed.

Kel scowled at him. "Who did you think I lost it to, if it wasn't to Cleon?" she asked, her anger starting to mount. 

"I don't know!" he cried. "You _did_ spend a lot of time with the Own..." he shrugged.

Kel blinked before punching him in the shoulder. "Gods, Neal! What is wrong with you?" she demanded of him. 

"Ow!" he exclaimed, rubbing his shoulder. "That hurt!" 

"Good!" Kel shouted at him, hitting him over the head with the flat of her hand. "I hope that hurt too!" 

"Gah! Would you two stop?" Cleon bellowed above the noise of the two friends. Kel and Neal turned to glare at him, their eyes shooting daggers at him. "... Or you could just go back to what you were doing," he finished meekly.

Kel turned back to Neal, her eyes fiery. She glowered at him before turning away and crossing her arms over her chest. 

Neal frowned at her with soft eyes. Sighing, he took her arms and uncrossed them before whispering, "Kel?" 

Kel turned and glared at him. Neal stared at her intently, his eyes apologetic. Kel looked at him for a moment more before sighing and abandoning her irate gaze. "Oh... just be quiet. I know I can't stay mad at you. Don't remind me."

Neal grinned. "Of course, milady. Anything you say." He snorted and kissed her on the cheek for the second time that day. Tingling, teasing heat spread throughout Kel's body as her face flushed. "Blushing, milady?"

Kel effectively scowled at him, unable to think of anything remotely intelligent to say. 

This time, Neal kissed her on the nose. 

Kel looked at him, jaw set harshly into a grimace. "I'm going to hurt you, you know that?"

Neal grinned cheekily. "Alas, one day, I can see you hurting me. It won't be permanent though. And then I'll just come back for more. You know I will." 

Cleon coughed suggestively from across from them. Both Kel and Neal turned their attentions to him as he looked at them.

"You know, you two really have to stop acting like lovers or someone's going to get the wrong idea," the red head told them solemnly. 

Neal gasped playfully. "How did you know, Cleon? My love!" he exclaimed, turning to Kel. "He knows," he whispered exaggeratedly, trying desperately to keep a straight face. "Alas!" he cried, flinging his hand up to his forehead in a mocking gesture. "We must be more careful," he said slowly and precisely, lowering his voice. 

Neal kept a carefully horrified face until Kel snorted, setting off a chain reaction of cackles from Neal. He bent over in laughter, closing his eyes as he rested his head on Kel's shoulder for support. Kel looked at him, a smile drawn up on her usually blank features. Cleon looked at the pair in a mixture of amusement and perplexity. 

When Neal opened his eyes, they were wet from unshed tears. He looked down from his spot on Kel's shoulder. "Hey. Those are your breasts."

"Yes, they are, Neal," Kel said matter-of-factly.

"Huh." 

Cleon coughed again. He was getting quite tired of interrupting possibly uncomfortable moments. 

"Would you mind removing your gaze from my chest, Neal?" Kel asked, setting her lips in a tight smile.

"I _do_ mind, but because you asked it, milady, I shall do so, to conceal our secret." Neal snorted as he straightened himself up. Kel sighed as she turned to Cleon.

"He's like a sex fiend. He has no self control." She shook her head mournfully as Neal looked at her dejectedly. 

"Hey, I have self control!" he voiced, pouting at Kel.

"Yeah? When?"  

Neal blinked. He struggled for a moment, thinking. Finally, he came up with an answer.

"I have self control where My Lord Wyldon is concerned. He's never going to be able to get me to do more knightly exercises than I want, now that I've got my shield. I know exactly when to stop where that's concerned."

"That doesn't count," Kel said dryly.

"Oh. Then, no, I don't." Neal shook his head as if to emphasize that fact. Kel merely shook her head. 

"You're hopeless, Queenscove." 

"Hey. You never said you didn't like me being a sex fiend."

Kel blushed and tried to keep her features as blank as possible. 

"You're blushing again," Neal informed her, smiling sweetly.

Kel smiled sweetly back at him before getting up and climbing over the bench she and Neal had been currently sitting on. "I'm going to get ready to go out with Yuki. I'll be back before late."

"Goodbye, my love! I shalt pine!" Neal cried after her as Kel shook her head and walked away. Before leaving, Kel indistinctly heard Cleon's voice over the hum of the crowd say, "Hey, that's my line!"

* ~ * ~ * ~ *

"So where do you want to go?" Yuki asked Kel as they walked the streets of a rather bustling Corus. 

Kel shrugged as she peered into a nearby window. "I will go wherever you want me to, Yoda."  

Yuki blinked. "What?"

Kel shook her head. "Nothing. Never mind." Yuki raised an eyebrow, but dismissed Kel's rather strange, arbitrary comment. 

"Right. Do you want to head down to Lalasa's?"

"All right. I'm sure it will be packed to capacity now that the news has spread, but it doesn't matter." Kel walked past Raven Armory wistfully, sighing as she eyed a set of daggers that were hung in the nearby window. Yuki noticed her look and creased her forehead.

"You want to go in?" she asked. 

Kel shook her head. "Later. After the dress order is in."

"Fine. Let's go." 

As Yuki and Kel walked through the throng of people, they noticed with grim fear that a small mob was gathering outside of Lalasa's shop. The mob was comprised of what looked like an eager group of court ladies, all waving purses enthusiastically, jumping up and down to get the attention of a rather pretty lady near the front of the store.

"Listen! I have taken all the work I can handle for the short amount of time the King has given us to prepare! There will be _no more_ offers made! Do you hear me? _No more_!" Lalasa screamed over the noise of the crowd. All of the ladies looked suddenly forlorn. "Now, I all suggest that you go to the next dressmaker you can find, before they decide to stop taking offers too!" 

An echo of moans cam from the crowd, as it slowly dispersed, leaving Lalasa standing near the front, leaning up against the doorframe. She sighed before turning to go inside.

"Lalasa!" Kel cried from a distance, waving. Lalasa instantly brightened, a smile coming to her face as she waved back. Kel and Yuki walked quickly to meet her at the door, faces cheerful. 

"You seem to have a lot of work on your hands, Lalasa," Kel told the smaller woman as she greeted her.

"You don't even want me to go into it," Lalasa said to Kel. "It's amazing how pushy some of the women here can be when they're in dire need of a dress." She shook her head and sighed. 

Kel laughed lightly. "How many orders do you have so far?"

Lalasa chuckled. "Half a dozen. I'll be up all night as it is."

Kel's eyes widened. "Half a dozen would take an average dressmaker... gods, at least a week, give or take a day or two."

"That," Lalasa informed her, "is why I'm not an average dressmaker."

Kel snorted. "You've met my friend Yuki, haven't you?" Lalasa nodded. 

"You've come to me for dresses before. I remember." Yuki bowed.

"You have much skill as a seamstress, Lady Lalasa," Yuki told her politely.

"Come now," the plump, dark woman said, a smile appearing on her face. "No need for formalities. I'm not a lady anyway. The only reason I am where I am today is because of Kel, here." Lalasa grinned at Kel, who gave an embarrassed nod. 

Kel cleared her throat. "I'm guessing it would be too much trouble to ask you to make an exception for us, with the dresses?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

Lalasa blinked. "No, of course not. Just..." her eyes lit up. "Wait. Come in, both of you."

Lalasa opened the door to her shop, motioning them to come inside. "Come, come. No one's holding you back." Kel and Yuki followed her uncertainly into the shop, as Lalasa went behind a counter and started rummaging through something. 

_'A chest,'_ Kel mused randomly, watching her old maid search through the trunk. _'Wonder what's in there.'_

"You wouldn't mind wearing something I've made already, right? Just to save me the time. If it doesn't fit you or you didn't like it, I'll make you a new one, except this _would_ save me quite some time..." Lalasa continued to rummage through the box until she pulled out a piece of cloth. Shaking it out, she held it up to Kel.

"Will this do? If it fits, I mean. I'll make alterations, if need be."

Kel viewed the dress with a mild indecision. It was beautiful, sure. The dress was layered, yet strangely simple at the same time. However, it was also red. Red was the color of lust. Kel did _not _want to think of lust at the ball tomorrow night. The neckline, although adorned by pearls and beautifully fashioned, was dangerously low. Kel didn't think she could stomach it. 

_'Actually,'_ Kel mused, _'I think I'm more concerned about whether Neal could stomach it. I don't want him flaunting over me and making it painfully obvious. Mind you, I don't know what 'it' is, but I still don't want people knowing. And that neckline's much too low.'_

"Do you have anything less-" Kel coughed "-less promiscuous?"

"Not for anyone as tall as you," Lalasa told her, frowning. "Don't you like it?"

"Well, sure," Kel began. "It's just... very..." She cleared her throat. "Low? Is that the right word?"

"At _least _try it on," Lalasa petitioned as she eyed Kel expectantly. Kel looked at her helplessly for a moment before scowling and grabbing the dress from her. 

"Oh... fine. But only because I want you to get some semblance of sleep this night."

"Good," Lalasa commented, turning back to her 'chest of horrors,' as Kel had decided to dub it. "Now, what do we have for you..."

She pulled out another dress that looked like it would fit Yuki. "Since I don't remember your measurements, this is the closest thing I could find on spot. Here, try it on," Lalasa said, holding out the dress to her. The piece was a pale peach, sleeveless and layered, with beads that ran over the neckline. Yuki, for all she would have preferred a kimono, was impressed. 

"Why does she get the one with the high neckline?" Kel protested as she noticed the difference between the amount of cleavage each dress would give. 

"Because she's not as tall as a horse," Lalasa replied as Yuki took the dress, bowing. 

"I owe you my gratitude, Lalasa," she told her gratefully, as she turned to look for a place where she could get dressed. Lalasa noticed her searching and turned to a side room.

"This way, dear. In the room where no peeping onlookers can see us girls." Lalasa led them into a closed room as Kel muttered under her breath, "Horses aren't _that_ tall..."

Kel and Yuki quickly undressed, removing their clothes until they hit their undergarments. From there, they carefully put on their dresses, treating them with the respect the deserved as works of the best dressmaker in town. Kel didn't want to look in the mirror at the far side of the room. She was afraid that if she liked the dress too much she would go and buy it. 

Yuki finished first, for all her training in this sort of womanly thing. She turned to Kel and offered to help with the lacings on the back of the dress. When Kel got a good look at her, she wasn't surprised that Yuki looked like an angel. 

_'She'll certainly look better than the Yamani lump,'_ Kel thought unhappily as Yuki moved to tie her strings. _'No wonder Neal always liked her better than me. Jealous, me? Never.'_

Yuki finished and turned Kel around gently. The Lady Knight was met with a smiling Yamani woman, who was looking at her admiringly. 

"I hate to say it, Kel, but you certainly can pull it off." Kel eyed her skeptically as Lalasa came over to them. 

"Don't you both look marvelous? Why don't you go have a look in the mirror over there?" She motioned towards the far side of the room. Yuki walked over to it contentedly, Kel grudgingly. She did _not _want to fall in love with this immoral dress. 

Kel approached it and looked at herself. 

_'Fuck.'_

"Oh, Kel, you look wonderful!" Lalasa told her as she came towards her and touched her shoulder. Yuki nodded as she looked at her own reflection. 

"Yes, you look great, Kel. Now what do you think of this? I don't look too pale, do I?" she asked, running fingers over her stomach and raising her eyebrows. 

"Oh, shut up, Yuki. I know you're just rubbing it in. You have a higher neckline than I do; no need to go flaunt it." Kel eyed her dress with irresolution. It was beautiful; in fact, it made her look like something resembling a porcelain doll. However, it was also a very sexual looking dress. It had very sensual curves that Kel vehemently _did not_ like. In her opinion, she looked a bit too much like a trollop for her liking. "Evil devil spawn," she murmured under her breath. 

"Oh, what are you talking about? Half the court ladies wear ones lower than you do, anyway. What's the fuss? It isn't even _that_ low! And I am _not_ an evil devil spawn," Yuki complained as she turned to Kel. Abruptly, she frowned. "Lalasa, come over here, would you?"

Lalasa walked closer to Yuki with raised eyebrows, hands behind her back. "What is it?"

"Do you think she needs a corset?"

Kel's eyes widened at the mention of the word corset. 

Lalasa frowned at Yuki's suggestion. "Hm," she murmured as she circled around Kel. "You know, I think she might. Good idea."

"Oh, there is no way in _hell_ you are getting me into a corset," Kel objected fervently. "I-I don't even know how to get a corset _on_, much less _wear_ one!"

Yuki blinked. "It doesn't take much brain power to know how to _wear_ a corset, Kel," she said dryly. Kel blushed before reverting back to her former plea. 

"But I _can't_ wear a corset! It's – immoral! I don't even have any breasts to begin with!"

"Of course you have breasts. You wouldn't be a woman if you didn't. Just think of the corset as a..." Yuki searched for the correct words. "A push up breastband." She smiled and shrugged. 

"This is _not_ happening..." Kel moaned as Lalasa went off and fetched a corset for her.

* ~ * ~ * ~ *

Kel eyed the corset loathingly, garbed in only her undergarments. She did _not _want to wear the thing. Maybe she would feign illness... that always seemed to work for those swooning court ladies. They were always feeling _faint_, or something to that effect. Truly, Kel thought it was a bit ridiculous, but if it would get her out of the ball tonight...

For the remainder of last night, Kel and Yuki had come back to the palace and spent the night in Owen's rooms with Neal, Cleon, and Ermelian, since she insisted on tagging along with Cleon almost everywhere. They had talked, played chess, and finally gone to bed. Neal had walked Kel to her room, and had acted like he was going to say something important before kissing her on the cheek and leaving. It had left Kel feeling very confused and perturbed. She didn't like Neal constantly kissing her, no matter how 'chaste' he meant it to be. It scared her that she wanted something more. 

A knock came from the other side of the door. That would be Yuki. She had told Kel that she would come to her room before the ball to help her get ready, since Kel 'couldn't seem to get the corset on properly.' Mostly, Kel thought, Yuki had wanted to make sure that she put it on at all, and not gone to the ball with just the dress on. How she hated living in such close confines with everyone.

"Kel? Open up. It's your local evil devil spawn, keen and eager to get you ready for the ball." Kel frowned at the door. "And don't frown. I know you are," Yuki said from the other side of the door. 

_'Damn her.'_

"Oh, I'm coming. Don't get your loins in a knot," Kel called as she got up and opened the door for Yuki, staying out of sight of the hallway, in case someone was passing by. Wouldn't want something 'happening' to walk by and see her in her underclothes. 

Yuki walked in, as perfect and pristine as ever. Her hair was styled upward in something resembling a loose bun, and face paint covered her features lightly. The dress was as elegant as ever, and did _not_ make her pale, no matter what Yuki might have thought. In fact, it made her look downright splendid. 

_'Damn her.'_

"Come on, now," Yuki told her as she took Kel's hands and led her towards her dressing area. "Let's get you ready. We only have a couple of hours. This might take a while, after all."

Kel turned white. "It's not going to take _that _long. I mean... put on the corset, put on the dress, maybe put some gunk in my hair, and I can go, right?"

Yuki eyed her in amusement. "This is the first ball you're going to where you and Dom are a couple. You honestly think I'm going to let you go out with just some 'gunk' in your hair, as you call it? You have to be kidding." Sweet laughter flowed out of the Yamani as she stepped closer to Kel. "You're going to have half the male population of Corus looking at you tonight, whether you like it or not." Yuki gave a small smirk. 

Kel wondered whether she knew that Neal very well might be one of those men.

"Now, let's get you ready. We don't have all night, after all," Yuki grinned evilly as she grabbed the corset off its hanger. 

Kel sighed. This was going to be a long night. 

* ~ * ~ * ~ * 

 "There," Yuki said finally as Kel was allowed to open her eyes. She had been sitting in the same chair for an hour, thinking the same perverse thoughts about doing bodily injury to Yuki, having the same pale colored paste spread across her face. She had closed her eyes about ten billion times for Yuki to put some shiny green colored powder on her lids, spread her mouth about twenty billion times for Yuki to apply rogue to her dried, chapped lips, and stretched out her face about thirty billion times to allow Yuki to apply blush to her cheeks. 

In reality, it wasn't nearly anywhere near then, but Kel never claimed that she didn't like to exaggerate. 

"You're done," Yuki told her as she motioned for Kel to stand up. Kel needed a bit of help, due to her stiff leg muscles. 

"Thank the gods above," Kel said dryly as she walked over to the mirror. She was met with what she thought she would see – a radically changed, drastically altered version of herself. She had gone through every beauty technique Yuki could think of. Her eyes now stood out green instead of their normally darker brownish color, she looked flushed from the amount of blush Yuki had put on, and to top it off, her breasts looked bigger. 

_'Although,'_ Kel mused, _'it might be better that Neal won't be able to tell when I'm blushing or not.'_

"Don't you like it?" Yuki asked her as she came up from behind her. Kel cocked her head to the side. 

"It's – different," Kel said finally. Yuki scowled. 

"Just – different? You don't like it?" she asked, her face drawn into a frown.

"No, no," Kel answered quickly, not wanting to offend her friend. "I like it. I just don't feel like me anymore," she said with a sigh. Yuki slid over to make Kel look at her. 

"Listen. Nothing and no one can make you feel like something you're not. You'll always be you, Kel. Always. Now, I need to go to my rooms to get something. You've got about a half hour to kill, so just don't wipe everything off by the time the ball starts, all right, hun?" Yuki gripped Kel's hands tightly. "Promise me you'll show up intact?"

Kel snorted and nodded slightly. "Promise," she said as Yuki grinned.

"Good," Yuki said as she turned for the door. She eyed a nearby table as she slowly opened it. "You know, Kel, you might want to put that on." 

Kel followed her gaze to the table, and what was on it. Her pregnancy charm. 

Kel glared at Yuki's retreating figure. 

She sighed as she heard the door click shut. '_Maybe I ought to wear it... not that I'm going to do anything to get myself pregnant, that's for sure. I don't _love _Dom, and Neal is getting married. That doesn't mean that I love Neal either and am just using his marriage as an excuse, though. I don't love either of them. I can't. So there. I am fully aware that most of that didn't make sense. Why am I justifying myself to myself? This just sucks.'_

Kel moaned as she grabbed her charm off the stand and eyed it furiously. The truth was, she _did_ feel like she needed to justify herself to _someone_, and if she could get herself to fell she was justified, then all the better. She didn't want to have to, but... 

_'I don't need this,'_ Kel finally decided. _'I'm not going to have sex tonight, or any night anytime soon after this. It'll be a statement for every man that has ever courted me. _I am not going to be bedded by someone I don't want. _Yeah. That's good. Maybe I need to get it made into a pin and flash it around to everybody so they all get the picture.'_

Kel shook her head. She was making herself sound ridiculous and silly. 

Kel was jolted out of her thoughts by a jarring sound coming from behind her door. She eyed it wearily. Maybe Yuki had forgotten something. That was probably it. Some... _thing_ that she had clumped on her face during that dreadful process. Kel shuddered. 

Kel walked over to the door and gripped the handle uncertainly for a moment. Her palms were sweaty as she turned to the knob slowly, grasping it tightly. The lock clicked open and she opened the door.

Neal stood there, holding two different tunics. 

He wore a white dress shirt and breeches, and had black, shiny boots that glimmered in the light. His hair was tied back in a neat horsetail, and it was evident to Kel, although probably _only _to her, that he had put hair gel in it. His green eyes passed right through her as he strode into the room.

"All right. I need your advice. The brown one?" he asked as he turned around to face her. "Or the green..." his voice trailed off as he took a took a hard look at Kel. She glanced at him, trying to avoid his gaze, and the pressure emanating from it. She clutched her own arms as if she was cold, running her hands across them nervously as Neal took her in.

"By the Mother..." he whispered as he dropped both tunics in sheer shock.

Kel scowled at him. "What? Is there something wrong with you?"

Neal swallowed as he blinked and looked at the fallen tunics without picking them up. "Ah... no. Not really."

"Good. Then why are you staring at me?"

Neal blinked. "Have you _seen_ yourself?" he asked as he came up to her.

"Yes. Of course I have. Your fiancé came and did this to me. I look like some – court lady," Kel spat, crossing her arms over her chest.

"You sure do," Neal agreed, nodding decidedly.

Kel frowned at him. "So?" she inquired, holding out her arms so he could get the full view. He was going to sooner or later anyway. She couldn't hide behind crossed arms for the rest of the night. After all her hard work, Yuki simply wouldn't allow it.

Neal's eyes wandered over her freely and Kel felt like every part of the dress Lalasa had worked so hard to perfect was being slowly peeled off, piece by piece. Neal looked at her strangely, almost hungrily, as he stepped closer to her. Kel's eyes widened unconsciously. What was he doing?

"Er... Neal?" she asked as her voice cracked. Neal moved over to her stealthily, walking with an almost catlike grace, extending a hand to her.

He frowned suddenly. His hand graced her breast. Kel's eyes widened at the audacity of his actions. "I beg your pardon?" she asked as she stepped away.

"Are you wearing a corset?" he asked innocently, backing her up against the far end of the room. Kel visibly swallowed. 

"Why do you ask?" Her voice was tense and forced as she felt her shoulder blades hit the wall.

"I've never seen you in a corset before," Neal told her, his eyes giving her a look that promised far more that it had intended. "Are you going to make a habit of wearing them?" he queried, putting a hand against the wall behind her. 

"Neal, stop it." Kel's voice shuddered as she whispered at him. "You're scaring me."

Neal blinked. 

"Oh." He grinned. "Sorry. I can get a little intense sometimes." He shrugged, but didn't move from his position. 

"Would you care to remove your body from its current location?" Kel voiced, a bit more dryly than she had planned.

"No. Where did you get the dress?" he asked, raising sculptured eyebrows. 

"Lalasa's," Kel replied. She had been able to regain control on her voice, but her heart was still beating a tad bit quicker than she would have liked it to.

"And the corset?" he asked, running a finger down the side of her breast.

Kel gripped his hand in mid-stroke, clenching it tightly in her hand. "Stop," she whispered. "I'm serious." 

Neal frowned and shrugged. "Whatever you say," he finally said, disentangling himself from her and allowing her to breathe easy once again. "So..." his voice trailed off.

They stood there in silence, the tension mounting to an almost unbearable high. Kel gritted her teeth together, willing something intelligent to come to her mind so they could speak instead of just standing there like idiots. Neal turned to Kel, and looked like he was going to say something before turning away. Kel frowned. This was getting ridiculous.

Finally, Kel spoke. "The brown one. The green just doesn't suit you today."

Neal blinked. "What?"

Kel coughed. "The – the tunic. That _is_ what you came here for, wasn't it?" she asked, moving across the room and picking up both of them. "The brown one would look better, although I'm not too sure why."

"Oh." Even to someone who hadn't known him for years, his voice sounded strained. "Thanks," he said as Kel came over and handed them to him. He gripped them uncertainly at first, then removed them from her hands. 

Swallowing uneasily, Kel found herself staring at his chest. His shirt wasn't straight. It needed to be fixed. In fact, mostly everything but his hair looked like he had just rolled out of bed and slipped them on. Which he most likely did. 

Kel withstood the urge to reach over and fix his shirt. _'I will _not _give him means to have an excuse to touch me. I'm just – not touchable tonight. Right. Not touchable. No siree, Bob. He's not getting anywhere near me as of now. Nope. Not at all.'_

Kel reached over and straightened Neal's shirt.

"You look so rumpled," she told him as she smoothed his shirt down. "What did you do, just roll our of bed?"

"Yup," he answered, his voice shaky as he almost stiffened at her touch. Kel felt him tense, but dismissed it.

"You're hopeless, Neal," she murmured as she shook her head and removed herself from his body. Instead of reaching her sides, where Kel intended them to stay, Neal's own fingers shot out and captured her hands. Kel's body became almost rigid with pressure. 

"You love me for it," he muttered as his fingers entwined with hers. Kel looked up into his very green eyes. 

"Neal, stop it."

It was almost as if those words had broken whatever spell that had enraptured Neal as he slid his hands away from hers and backed away. A considerable amount of heat spread across his face as he looked down at his boots. 

"Um..." 

Kel looked at him solemnly before going over to the door and opening it for him. "Maybe you need some air. You're not acting like yourself tonight, Neal." She swallowed as she looked at him. "Pretty dresses and face paint doesn't change who we are," she said slowly.

Gradually, Neal nodded. "Yeah," he mumbled softly. He massaged his forehead with his fingers. "Yes," he said, this time with more conviction. "I – I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me." He looked down at the floor, blushing. "I'll – I'll see you at the ball. Dom's coming to escort you there?" he asked, walking for the entranceway. 

"Yeah." 

Neal nodded and met her at the door. Taking her hands in his, he kissed both of them before fleeing into the safety of the hallway. He heard Kel's door shut with a click as he neared the end of the hallway. 

_'Gods,'_ he thought as he trekked back to his room to finish changing. _'I'm falling in love with her.'_

* ~ * ~ * ~ *

A/N: Whew! That was long! Even longer than the last, and I think more happened last chapter. The beginning of this chapter was a lot of stuff that had to happen that I thought would have taken shorter but didn't. The ball was actually supposed to BE in this chapter, not just the preparations. Don't worry though. I have a nice, fun, little surprise for you all next chapter. You all know that song that goes "I'm... to sexy for my blah, blah, blah?" Yeah. Think of that. Thanks to all the reviewers. Y'all rock my box. Gah. I think I'm really going to start saying that in real life sometime soon. That's what happened with teehee. Now I keep saying teehee to my friend and it sucks. Oh well. Anyway, gotta go spell check this and post. Love you all. 

Love,

Stacey

P.S. Does anyone else think that Josh Groban would look like Owen?


	12. Strictly Nealan

Disclaimer: No, I don't OWN them. Gods, how dense ARE you people?  

A/N: Warning: I am listening to Marylin Manson's "Tainted Love" while writing this. Be warned. 

_I'm too sexy for my love, too sexy for my love   
Love's going to leave me   
I'm too sexy for my shirt too sexy for my shirt   
So sexy it hurts   
And I'm too sexy for Milan too sexy for Milan   
New York and Japan   
And I'm too sexy for your party   
Too sexy for your party   
No way I'm disco dancing   
_            -Right Said Fred – _I'm Too Sexy_

Underneath the Surface – Chapter 11 – Strictly Nealan 

Kel's hands shook as she clenched the doorknob firmly, her fingers turning a pale white color from the pressure being exerted on them. She stared at the closed door, with its sad stories of opportunities averted; love shoved the other way. She couldn't do anything but stand there, staring at the hard, wooden surface and wonder what would have happened if she had let Neal continue touching her.

Kel swayed, the hands that rested on the doorknob not enough to stop her knees from weakening and buckling as she slid her back up against the wall before swooning to the floor. She couldn't help it. Things were spinning out of control at too rapid a pace for her to keep track of, and she didn't like it one bit.

She hit the floor with a distinct 'thud,' her body colliding with the cold, hard surface of her rooms. She didn't realize that she was crying until wells of water poured onto her palms, dripping cold and wet, mercilessly, onto her hands. The hands that Neal had kissed before he had left her to get some air before the ball. The hands that he had held multiple times during the past week. The hands that were calloused, and worn, and tattered into the shape a warrior's hands were accustomed.

For once, Kel wished she had the hands of some fine courier. Or maybe Yuki's. 

She didn't want to. She truthfully didn't. She wanted to be able to throw her feelings to hell and back, maybe jump on top of them a couple of times, crush them to the size of a pulp until they were so small they would gradually deteriorate on their own.

But that would be too simple. _Her _feelings liked to make things complicated. They were just _like_ that. 

Kel took deep breaths, inhaling slowly and deliberately, exhaling with the grim purpose of getting herself under control. Her breathing slowly returned to its normal pace with every purposeful ministration, as her shallow gasps became firmer inhalations. Kel rubbed her face once with her hands before remembering she was wearing face paint. 

Realizing she didn't care, she rubbed her face again.

_'This isn't me,'_ she thought as she got down on her hands and knees. _'It just... isn't.' _She crawled to her bathroom, gripping the sink to steady herself and bring herself to her feet. 

_'I can't do this.'_

Looking to the side, she saw the water basin that she was looking for. Taking a large quantity of water into her palms, she looked upward into the mirror. The face paint hadn't been rubbed away. Not yet, anyway. It was still there, albeit there were small streaks of black running down her cheeks from the eye paint Yuki had applied. The streaks could be washed away and treated as if nothing had happened...

_'No,'_ Kel thought firmly. _'This just isn't... _me._ I can't be someone I'm not. I'm not some court lady fishing for a man. I have a perfectly good suitor who I'm sure will be able to make me very happy.'_

Even thinking it, Kel knew it was a lie.

By then, the water had drained from her hands back into the basin, rippling through the washbasin effortlessly, making gradual circles in the pool of liquid. Kel stared at the water in a state of mild indifference, then turned back to look at herself in the mirror.

_'I shouldn't have to change myself for him to notice me,'_ she told herself. Even in her thoughts, she sounded bitter. _'I shouldn't have to wear pretty face paint, or put on pretty dresses, or have Yuki dress me up like a porcelain doll. It isn't fair that he would perceive the fact that I actually do exist as a member of the opposite sex only when I actually look like one. Oh... this just _sucks_.'_

Kel looked at her wet, slicked, hands. They were trembling, even though she had calmed herself before she had crawled over to the bathroom. She turned back to the mirror. She looked, quite frankly, like a washed out court lady. The ones that you heard about in theatricals that bawled and cried like idiots. Kel had thought it was just an exaggeration. Guess she was wrong.

Kel glared at her reflection defiantly. She would _not_ conform to weakness. She wouldn't let a man's opinion – and behavior, for that matter – control her life. _'I shouldn't let Neal's actions dominate what I do. If he's going to notice me because I had some face paint put on, then that just proves that we're not right for each other. Besides, I didn't have Yuki put it on for _him_. It was for Dom. Wiping off the face paint would prove that he got to me. I can't let him see that.'_

Kel wondered how it was possible for even your thoughts to sound hollow and fake when you're trying to lie to yourself.

Her features softened a bit as she dipped slim, calloused fingers into the water. Running them over her face, she washed away the lines of face paint her tears had caused. Once the black streaks were gone, she actually looked decent. You could barely tell she had been crying, if you didn't see her eyes. They would still be red and puffy for a while. Hopefully, they would return to their normal state before Dom decided to come and "escort" her to the ball. He would just _have_ to ask questions.

And Kel would just _have _to lie.

She didn't like lying to him, but if it kept him from unnecessary hurt, then... what was the harm? What was she supposed to tell him? 'Oh, your cousin is sending me into a state of emotional turmoil, because I just might be in love with him, while we're both seeing different people'? That would have turned out well. Kel was _sure_ that Dom would just welcome her with open arms after that.

Yet she found herself not caring much what Dom would do.

Maybe it was the fact that she had never _really_ connected to Dom on the level of a lover like Neal had with Yuki. Maybe that was why it was so easy for her to look at Neal like something to be conquered, and for Neal to walk away. Then again, Neal had needed some pushing that last time. Kel was scared to think of what would have happened if she hadn't pushed him away that last time. The consequences might have been terrible, horrendous, and severe... and just possibly, extremely pleasurable. 

Kel snorted as she rubbed under her eyes. Things were getting too confusing for her liking. Besides... it wasn't like she and Neal would ever undergo in those types of activities. So it was ridiculous to even _bother _to think of what the consequences might be. 

When Kel realized that even in her mind, she sounded contradictory, she stopped thinking about it so hard and decided to fix herself back up for the ball.

Fixing the face paint wasn't as hard as she had thought. She supposed that applying it was the hardest part of it, and once it was on, you could improvise with it. Her dress had been crinkled from crawling on the floor, but it wasn't too obvious. She could get away with it, and only those who got up close enough to her would be able to see it. The only ones that would be happening to would be her friends: Dom, Yuki (most likely, to make sure she was still wearing this damnable corset), Cleon, Owen, and quite possibly Neal. Whoever asked her to dance might see it, but she highly doubted that anyone other than her friends would want to dance with _her._ That was ridiculous. 

Checking herself over one last time, she walked over to a chair and sat down on it. Now the only thing left to do was to wait. 

And wait. 

And wait.

If Kel thought that the time Yuki spent doing her face paint was horrible, it was nothing compared to sitting here, awaiting Dom's arrival. She shouldn't have cared so much. It made her feel very cliché and court lady-ish, but she couldn't help it. Maybe it was a suppressed desire to get this whole ordeal over and done with, but she wanted to see how he reacted to her in a dress and make up. 

Hopefully, it wouldn't be the same way that Neal had reacted. 

She didn't know what she would do if Dom acted like he wanted to – _love _her. Not the kind of love he had been showing up until now, but the kind of love that involved candles and sheets and moonlit nights. She didn't want to bed him. And if she did – that was a big "if", mind you – it certainly wouldn't be any time soon. She would at least wait until after Neal was gone and married, and she could confidently say that not even the tiniest part of her loved him in a romantic way. 

Kel rested her elbows on her knees, her hand in her hands. Things were too complicated for one green knight to handle, sometimes. 

Kel spent the rest of the time she had to herself in silence. Her mind was at rest. She had decided it wasn't worth thinking about things until they finally came to pass. She sat there, on that same chair, for the entire time, until Dom finally knocked on her door. 

Joints creaking from sitting in the same position for so long, she went over to the door and opened it without hesitation. Dom was standing in front of her, clutching what looked like a jar of something in his hands. He was dressed appropriately, with dress breeches and a shirt and tunic. Kel looked at him skeptically as Dom's eyes roamed over her body without discretion. She scowled when he didn't stop after the first ten seconds.

"You would usually say 'hello,' when someone opens the door for you," Kel told him, a frown spreading across her features. Dom blinked, then smiled sheepishly.

"Sorry. You just look-" he swallowed "-_different_, I suppose." He blushed, handing the jar out to her. "Meathead told me that you wanted bruise balm. So... I got it for you." Kel took the jar, raising curved eyebrows, and walked into her suite, placing it on a table at the far end of the room. Dom walked in behind her, closing the door after him.  Kel turned around, ready to walk out the door and to the ball, when Dom grabbed her around the waist. 

He looked at her strangely before lowering his lips to brush hers. Kel tensed, her shoulders stiffening under the influence of his touch. Dom failed to notice. 

Kel couldn't help but think that Neal would have, and would have stopped and asked her what was wrong. 

"Dom, stop," she said, pulling away before things could go further. "You'll – you'll mess up my face paint." She said, grasping for a reason for him to stop other than her sheer unwillingness to kiss him.

"Do you really _want _to go to the ball?" he murmured huskily in her ear, placing a strategically hand right below the small of her back and pulling her up against him. "We could just – stay here, if you want." He grazed his teeth against the bone of her ear. Kel shuddered, but not from want of him.

"Of course I want to go to the ball," she told him austerely. "Yuki would kill me if I never showed up after all her work," she said. Anything to keep him from touching her. 

"I'm sure Yuki wouldn't mind," Dom whispered, his mouth brushing across the skin at the hollow of her ear. Kel planted two strong hands on his chest and pushed him away.

"No," Kel reprimanded him forcefully. Dom looked at her in a moment of uncertainty, then shrugged. 

"Fine. You look beautiful, by the way," he told her dejectedly. Kel scowled, but couldn't hold her expression for long. It wasn't his fault. She was essentially leading him on, she supposed. It made her feel dirty and mean, but she couldn't do anything else. She certainly couldn't tell him the truth. He might kill her. 

Or worse, he might kill Neal. 

It scared her to think that she was more fearful for Neal's safety than her own, but she didn't have time to dwell on it now. Dom might have thought she was trying to be virtuous, but in reality, she just didn't want him touching her. For the time being, she would have to play along in hopes of not hurting Dom.

Or at least, not hurting him too much.

This couldn't go on forever. She knew that. Dom _would_ end up getting hurt. Maybe she could chase him away before he got too attached. She didn't really believe she could, but it was worth a try.

"Let's just go, Dom," she said, trying to make her voice sound cold. Dom winced at her distant tone. He wanted to become _closer_ to her, not drive her away. He hadn't thought that kissing her would make her so – detached. He would have to keep the innuendos to a minimum, he supposed.

 "Fine. Milady," he said, holding out his arm to her. 

Kel blinked. 

Slowly, Dom lowered his arm and rested it at his side. He looked distantly at her, trying to fathom what was so wrong that he had done tonight. He walked forward to the door and opened it for her. Bowing, he said, "milady," as he waved his hand in an exaggerated gesture. 

Kel looked at him blankly, slipping her Yamani mask on as he made his theatrical movements. She didn't want to do this to him. She loved him too much to put him through this kind of hurt. But the fact that that love – albeit a strong love – was only the kind she reserved for close friends, held her back from acting like a normal lover would do.  

Stepping through the door, she nodded to Dom, telling him, "thank you," and slipping into the hallway. He followed her, closing the door behind him. Kel locked her door and slid her key in between her breasts. Dom raised an eyebrow. "What?" Kel asked him. "Dresses don't have pockets, you know. Where else do you want me to put it?"

"No where I want to know," Dom told her as he took the liberty of taking her hand in his own. "I'm supposed to escort you to the ball, Kel. Let me do my job, please?"

Kel would have said no, but Dom had said 'please.' She was notorious for having a soft spot for men who said 'please.' It made her want to be so agreeable it was sickening.

"Fine," she said, her calm voice forced. Someone who hadn't been Kel's friend for years would never had noticed it. The change in tone was almost indiscernible. Dom, however, had known Kel for more years than he could remember, and heard the difference. 

"Is something wrong?" he asked as they started walking down the hallway. 

Kel swallowed, her throat moving visibly in the soft light the candles gave off in the hallway at night. "No," she said quickly. "I'm just – I'm just not feeling myself tonight. I have on this dress, and all this face paint... it's like I'm not me anymore. That's all. I'm sorry for snapping at you," she told him quietly.

Dom nodded and sighed. "I understand. Yuki shouldn't have made you wear all that. You look beautiful, sure, but it's – different. Like I told you."

"You don't like it?" Kel asked, continuing the walk to the ball.

"No, it's not that. I just – I love you for who you are, not something you're not."

Kel blinked and stopped abruptly. Did he just...?

"Love?" she managed to squeak out. A steady blush spread over Dom's cheeks. 

"Well... yeah," he said, shuffling his feet nervously. Kel looked at him in mild wonder.

"Love," she squawked. "Oh – Okay." Her voice cracked. Dom looked at his feet. 

"You don't – I mean, you – you don't–"

"It's early yet, Dom. I mean... we've only been... courting each other for a couple of days."

"But we've known each other for years, Kel," Dom said, trying to sound reasonable. "Love like that can – can _grow_ over time." He looked at her hopefully. It almost made her want to tell him that she loved him. It would be a lie, but it would make him feel better. She hated when people made her feel so guilty you felt like you would do anything for them at that moment to satisfy their needs.

"I'm sorry, Dom. I mean... I love you. You've been a good friend to me for years. A great friend. But... I just don't love you _that_ way. Not yet, anyway," she said softly. _'Good going, Kel. Go and lead him on, why don't you? Now you're going to make him think there's hope for you and him. You could have just stopped at 'I just don't love you _that_ way'. But no. You had to add the 'not yet.' That's what's going to make him keep loving you. He's going to think that he has a chance and I'm going to end up being the bad guy.'_

"Can we just go to the ball?" Kel asked him, looking up at him, trying to make her voice sound consoling. 

"Sure," Dom said, his voice cracking like a fifteen-year-old boy. 

"Good," Kel replied. She noticed sadly that Dom didn't offer her his arm as they walked to the ballroom.

* ~ * ~ * ~ * 

"Why, if it isn't our resident lady knight. In a dress, no less. Looking like an angel."

"Stop, my lord. You're making me blush."

"As I should. If I have to come to this damnable thing because we need to make a good impression on some diplomat I don't even know, I better be able to make _someone_ blush."

"Shouldn't you being dancing with Buri or something?"

"Not necessarily." Knight Commander Raoul of Goldenlake and Malorie's Peak smiled at Kel, his dashing black eyes shining with amusement. Kel sighed. As she had thought repeatedly throughout the course of the day, this was going to be a long night. 

"Isn't Buri due soon?" Kel asked, leaning against the wall she was standing next to.

"Any day now. Wouldn't it be ironic if her water broke during the ball? I'm sure that diplomat would get a kick out of it." 

"I'm sure he would," Kel replied dryly. She snorted lightly as thoughts of Buri having to deliver in the middle of a promenade came to mind. 

"So, shouldn't you be dancing with a certain subordinate of mine?" Raoul asked innocently.

"Oh, Lerant's here? I didn't see him." Kel cocked her head to the side, pretending to look for the standard bearer for the King's Own. Raoul snickered. 

"You know who I mean, Kel," he said, crossing his arms over his chest. "I'm sure Dom's off somewhere looking for you."

"No," Kel replied. "He's off talking with Neal and Yuki. I left him there when I saw you. I wanted to come over here and see how much my Lord's torture scale had gone up since the beginning of the ball." The corners of Kel's mouth twitched up in a smile. 

"Torture scale? What you young people come up with these days..." he shook his head and grinned. "You make me feel old."

"My Lord, I don't believe you could ever feel old. You're much too good with a lance to ever feel old." Kel gave a teasing smirk.  

"Would you like to test that theory, Kel? I think I need to put you in your place," Raoul said, noting with ample pleasure the look of fear that crossed Kel's face. 

"You are a bad man."

"So you've told me."

Kel simply glared at him. 

"Hey, look, it's your suitor," Raoul told her as Dom approached them from where he had been standing with Neal and Yuki.

"My lord," Dom said with a mock bow, lowering his voice to a respectable murmur. 

"Stop acting like a page with his loins in a knot. You might give your lady a bad impression," Raoul told him. Dom snorted and stood upright. 

"I was wondering if I could steal your beautiful partner for a dance or two," Dom asked Raoul, his eyes darting to Kel with a bit too much contained passion for her liking. 

"Well, of course, my young page. Take her away from me. Take her _all night_, if you really want." Raoul smirked when he saw Kel's cheeks turn a wonderful crimson.

"Will do, my lord," Dom said, a sly smile on his face. "Milady?" he said, turning to Kel and bowing. "If you would have this dance with a lowly, bumbling page with his loins in a knot, such as myself, I would be eternally grateful." He held out his hand to her.

Kel blushed. It was times like this that made her hate herself for leading him on. 

"Of course, my good page," she answered, taking his hand as he led her over to the dance floor. 

* ~ * ~ * ~ * 

She shared four dances before feigning tiredness and asking him to sit down. He agreed to get her something to drink, in accordance with proper male etiquette. Kel sat down next to a foreign woman that she realized was a member of the party that the Tyran diplomat had brought with him. She turned to the woman and held out a hand.

"Keladry of Mindelan," she said as the woman shook her hand. 

"Kate of Portland," the woman replied. 

Even sitting down, Kel could tell she was slight of height, somewhere between 5'3 and 5'5. She had deep brown eyes and chocolate colored hair. Her red dress seemed to bring out red highlights that shone under the right light. It was quite unfathomable, but true.

"You're with the Tyrans?" Kel asked, curiosity getting the better of her.

"My father is the one up there with your king," she said, nodding toward a pedestal where King Jonathan, Queen Thayet, and another man, undoubtedly the foreign diplomat, sat. 

"Hm. Why are you here, then?"

"Aren't you the blunt one?" the woman asked curtly.

"It's just a question," Kel said. "No need to be offended. I've been spending too much time with a certain tactless friend of mine. He's getting to me."

Kate nodded and let a small smile grace her lips. "I know what you mean." 

Kel raised an eyebrow, encouraging her to continue. "I'm studying to be a empath. In Genov - the place where we're studying – I have a-" she coughed "-_friend _who is the rudest, most indiscreet person I know with a _blatant _disrespect for authority." A grin played at her lips. "I find him amusing."

Kel snorted. "Sir Meathead, over there-" she nodded in Neal's direction "-is the same way."

Kate looked in his direction. Neal was off to the side of the room, talking with Yuki and the Lioness, who was currently _not_ in a dress, unlike the other lady knight present. 

"Meathead?" Kate asked curiously.

"Pet name," Kel explained. "It sort of escalated to the point where we forget people don't usually call him that other than his good friends."

"Hm." Kate looked over at Neal. "A bit of a dashing fellow, isn't he?"

"Oh, he is," Kel agreed. "He has green eyes that you would die for."

Kate looked over at her while Kel mentally screamed at herself. Why did she feel the need to confide in this abnormally small woman?

"I told you, I'm training to be an empath," Kate said, as if she was reading her thought. Which she incidentally was. "I can effect other people's feelings, and if I'm not careful, I'll accidentally-" she winced "-read their thoughts." She grimaced. "Sorry. I didn't mean to pry." Kel blinked. This was a bit odd... and yet strangely intriguing. 

"So because you're an empath, you can make me more comfortable with talking to you?" Kel asked, beginning to become genuinely interested.

"Something like that. The fact that _I'm _relaxed makes _you _relaxed and more willing to open up." Kate shrugged. "It's a burden sometimes, though. Helping people's good and well. But the pain some of them suffer-" she shook her head "-it's maddening."

Kel nodded. She had seen what pain could do.

"So what about this Meathead fellow of yours?" Kate asked her. "What's his real name, anyway?"

"Neal. Nealan of Queenscove, really, but everyone calls him Neal." Kate nodded. 

"You have warm, fuzzy feelings for your resident Meathead?"

Kel blushed. "No..."

Kate snorted. "Fine. Whatever you say, milady."

"I'm not a lady," Kel objected. 

"You certainly look like one," Kate told her, eyeing her over. "Low cut red dress and everything."

"You're one to talk," Kel muttered under her breath. 

"Excuse you, I was forced into this by my father. He thought it wouldn't be proper in Tortallan court if I wore my mage wear." 

"Wow. Who would have thought it?" Kel asked dryly.

"Thought what?" Kate asked, feeling a bit perturbed.

"See that woman over there? The one Meathead is talking to?" Kel nodded in Yuki's direction.

"Sure. What about her?"

"She made me wear this thing – corset included – because she thought I would want to impress man (a) over there." Kel pointed to Dom, who was currently waiting in line to get Kel a drink. 

"The handsome one?" Kate asked. 

"The very same. Domitan of Masbolle. My resident 'suitor' as my friends have decided on calling him." Kel shook her head. "It's ridiculous."

"But you love man (b), the Meathead," Kate stated. 

"Don't you catch on quick?" 

Kate snorted as she leaned back in her chair. "You certainly have a bit of a predicament on your hands."

"I would never have guessed," Kel said sardonically. Kate shook her head and turned to Kel.

"Just remember, if you let him go, you're going to hate yourself for it later." It was at that moment that Dom came over to them, bearing two drinks, not giving Kel the opportunity to ask _whom _exactly Kate thought she would regret letting go. 

"Milady. Mission accomplished." He saluted her after giving her the glass of wine he had been carrying. Kel was silently displeased at his choice of drink. Spending so much time with Lord Raoul had given her a bit of a resentment to alcoholic beverages. 

"There wasn't anything else," Dom explained, seeing through her calm façade. Kel nodded and took the wine, sipping it slowly. She winced at the taste. She had never particularly liked wine to begin with.

Dom sat down next to her and leaned over so that he was looking at Kate. "And would you care to introduce me to your beautiful lady companion, my dear?"

Kel blinked. "Oh. Dom, this is Kate of Portland. Domitan of Masbolle." She nodded at Dom. Dom reached out a hand to her. 

"Pleasure to meet you," he murmured softly as he took her hand and kissed it, as was called for in the face of proper male protocol. Kate nodded and allowed the slightest of blushes creep up her face. She wasn't used to being kissed on the hand by devilishly handsome men.

Kel supposed she should probably have looked jealous, but she didn't really care. Maybe if Dom and Kate got close enough, Dom would leave her for Kate. How convenient. 

"Listen, I'm going to go look for Neal. Amuse yourselves while I'm gone, would you?" Kel asked, some of the agitation she had been trying to hold back during the night leaking out.

"Sure, Kel," Dom said. He looked like he wanted to go with her, but refrained from doing so. He didn't want her to think he was becoming clingy. 

"Good. Again, good to meet you, Lady Kate." Kel bowed to Kate, as was traditional for a Yamani bred young woman. Kate nodded to her.

"And you, Lady Keladry." 

With that, Kel left, feeling quite drained. If she could, she would have sneaked out of the ball right now and fled to the safety of her rooms to have a moment to herself. It was exasperating that she couldn't go _anywhere_ without meeting up with someone she knew and having to make forced conversation with them. The only one she didn't need to do that with was Neal, because after nine years, conversation wasn't even necessary between them to convey what they thought. 

_'How ironic it is, then, that I can't tell him how I feel_,' Kel thought half bitterly. _'I sound like some cliché character in a theatrical. Stop it, Kel. You're being ridiculous.'_

Searching the room for Neal, she found him in the middle of a clump of women, talking animatedly with them and making strange gestures with his hands.

Kel shook her head. _'Always a ladies man at heart...'_

Making her way past a group of conservatives, all who looked at Kel like she had the plague, she walked up to Neal and touched his arm. Neal turned around and looked at her without seeming to acknowledge her at first. Sudden recognition sparked across his face, as he broke into a wide smile. 

"Kel," he said, taking her into his arms and bringing her into a quick hug, amid the glances of many envious looking court ladies. Kel didn't know why they bothered. It wasn't _her _Neal was getting married to, it was Yuki.

"I see you're entertaining the ladies, Neal," Kel murmured, a smile coming to her lips. 

"You do know me _so_ well," he said, shaking his head down at her, a grin still spread across his face. "My ladies," he announced, turning to them. "May I introduce to you, Lady Knight Keladry of Mindelan, Protector of the Small, and currently, my best friend." He gave a mock bow as Kel kicked him in the shins. 

"You really shouldn't do that, _Meathead_," she whispered to him as a blush crept over her face, putting emphasis on the last section of her phrase. Neal's eyes widened, as he suddenly realized _perfectly_ what she could do to his reputation if she was allowed to go unchecked. 

"I'm sorry, my ladies, but my friend and I have some current pressing... business to attend to. If you would excuse us," he said as he took Kel's hand and led her away from the group, amid a common exchange of sighs that rippled through the throng of admirers. 

He led her over to a secluded corner of the ballroom, where he was sure no one would come bounding over, therefore disabling Kel from telling them of the pet name everyone had taken such a distinct liking to. She sat down on a chair with a free view of the ballroom could be seen. Neal seated himself next to her, straddling the chair so that his arms leaned against the back of it. 

Neal turned to Kel and watched her for a moment. She was staring out at the dancers. Dom had asked Kate to dance and, apparently, she had agreed. They were gliding across the dance floor, Kate's dress billowing out underneath her as Dom led in perfect step. A strange look crossed her face as Neal watched her in silence. He couldn't place the expression that swept across her, but his worry was dismissed when Kel turned to him and smiled. 

"Enjoying the ball?" she asked, looking over at him and giving a small grin.

"Not particularly," Neal admitted. "There are _flocks _and _flocks_ of women _everywhere,_" he said, keeping a straight face. "It's a bit maddening. I didn't mind when I wasn't betrothed, but now it's just... odd. I can't flirt as much as I used to, even though everyone expects me to. Very frustrating business." The corners of his mouth twitched suspiciously upward as he snorted. 

Kel shook her head. "I'm surprised. You always seemed more the ladies man type."

"Knowing you'll be married in less than a week changes things sometimes," Neal said softly. Kel bit her lip and turned away. She was being stupid... he would never feel the same way she did, no matter what she might think. He was so head over heels for Yuki that he wouldn't even bother with even _thinking_ about her in a way that might be romantic...

Neal bent over and kissed her cheek.

Or maybe not...

Kel blinked as she turned to him. He was watching her intently, his forehead creased in a frown. Kel let out a ragged breath. She had no idea whatsoever what thoughts were running through his head right now... And it was a slight given she probably wouldn't like them. She swallowed loudly under Neal's scrutiny and cleared her throat. Things were getting too uncomfortable for her liking. 

"What?" she asked, her voice wavering as she gripped the sides of her chair, her fingertips turning white. 

Neal turned away from her. "Does it bother you to see him dancing with another woman?" he asked candidly. Kel blinked. This was not the type of question she had expected to hear from him. "I'm serious," he said quietly, studying the pair dance across the floor.

Kel thought about it. Truthfully, it didn't. She didn't care that Dom was dancing with someone else because, frankly, she didn't care enough about Dom in a romantic way to _be _jealous. Dom was good and well, but at the end of the day, it wasn't him that haunted her thoughts. But should she tell Neal? He might pry – in fact, he was better at it than most people. She didn't want to tell him – but what choice did she have?

"No," she said finally. "It doesn't."

Neal nodded and continued to refuse to meet her eye. The dancers had dispersed by now, the dance over. Neal watched Dom clench hands with Kate before walking over to Yuki and asking her for a dance. Yuki readily agreed, walking over with Dom to the dance floor and beginning a waltz that had originated around Lake Naxen. '_Womanizer,' _Kel thought as she watched Dom from a distance. 

"You know what's scary?" Neal asked her, finally turning and looking at her. Kel swallowed and raised her eyebrows, her eyes locking with his. 

"What?" she asked.

"That right now, I couldn't care less that my fiancé is dancing with my cousin," Neal told her gravely. Kel blinked. What was he talking about?

Kel swallowed as she looked away. "Well. That's... different."

Neal looked at her for a moment more before letting out a soft snort. Kel turned to him and frowned decidedly. 

"What?" she asked, her voice rising.

"It's impossible. It really is," Neal told her, a smile growing at the corner of his lips.

"What is? You're confusing."

"That you can make me feel better by doing no apparent thing. You just... sit there, and say the right thing once or twice, and I feel like I can go and take on the entire Scanran army. How do you do that?"

Kel blinked. "I... er... sit here? And... speak?" She shrugged as Neal snorted. He looked out across the ballroom and watched the intricate patterns of movement that spread across the floor as Kel continued to look at him oddly.

Finally, he spoke. "Do you want to dance?" he asked, turning to her, a steady smile crossing his face. 

Kel studied him long and hard before giving him her answer. 

"Yes."

* ~ * ~ * ~ * 

"They make it so _obvious_," Ermelian said to her husband, Cleon of Kennan as they stood near a wall on the far side of the ballroom. Cleon blinked. Now, what was she talking about now? She had been blabbering on about _something_... how inexpensive she had gotten her dress or _something _to that effect. Or perhaps it was how she had picked those daisies for him the other day. He hoped she wouldn't ask him anything about what she was talking about.

"What are they making obvious?" Cleon asked, following Ermelian's gaze onto the dance floor. She was watching… a couple dancing on the floor. One with a strikingly bright red dress, the other with a well-fitting brown tunic... 

Cleon nearly gagged. That was Kel. Kel wearing a dress. A red, low-cut, seductress dress. 

These were the times he wished he had bedded her before he found out he was to be married.

"Think, dearest," was Ermelian's response.

Cleon blinked. What was she talking about...?

Ermelian sighed. For all she loved him, her husband could be quite clueless at times. 

"You see the way they look at each other? They way they hold each other close? The way they always sickeningly finish each other's sentences? They are _quite obviously_, in _love_."

Cleon's eyes widened. "That's – that's ridiculous," he said as he turned to watch Kel and Neal dance. 

"Is it? Have you been noticing how they've been acting around each other lately? Like they're in a great deal of denial, perhaps? Maybe because they're in _love_?" she drawled.

Cleon looked at his wife before shaking his head once. "No," he stated before turning back to look at them. They were holding each other closely; in fact, it was closer than protocol required. But they were best friends. They _could_ hold each other like that and have no one ask questions. 

It wasn't like they really were – _in love._

_'Then why is it_,_'_ Cleon thought absently as he scrutinized Kel and Neal move so fluidly across the dance floor, '_that even my thoughts sound hollow_?'

* ~ * ~ * ~ * 

Kel and Neal had shared a few more dances before exchanging partners and dancing, respectively, with Dom and Yuki. The night passed without little hesitation, and Kel could feel herself begin to tire. She sat down while Dom left to talk to a distant relative of his. She could feel her limbs aching with every movement. She sighed as she stretched out and slumped against the chair. 

_'Acting like a court lady is harder than I thought,'_ she thought absently. 

"Hiya," Neal said as he came bounding over cheerily, jumping buoyantly into a chair next to her. Kel glared at him.

"Why are you so... perky?" Kel asked.

"I have danced with the two most beautiful women here tonight. Why wouldn't I be _perky_, as you so fondly call it?"

Kel blushed and sighed. "You're such a tease, Neal."

"In more ways than one," he responded, lowering his voice to a seductive murmur. 

"Stop, Neal. You'll scare the children."

"I didn't see any children here! Oh, children! Children! Uncle Neal is here!" He looked around mockingly, pretending to look for Kel's imaginary children.

Kel sighed.

"Oh... bugger off, Neal. You're strange."

"I learned from the best." He grinned inexorably as she glared at him. Exhaling loudly, Kel looked out at the dance floor. She supposed that she was the only one tired from this whole affair. The ball was still in full swing, and somehow, everyone seemed alive and cheery as ever. 

Suddenly, Neal spoke up. "This is getting ridiculous," he said shaking his head.

Kel blinked. "What?" Kel asked, looking up at him. 

"That girl. She's been staring at me all night." Kel followed her gaze to see whom he was talking about. Her glance was met with the daughter of a certain Tyran ambassador, a Lady Kate from Portland. Kel snorted.

"She is not."

"Yes, she is!" Neal objected. "You just haven't been looking at the right times."

Kel eyed him skeptically. "She's not. She was dancing with Dom a couple of times. I don't think she would exactly stare at you while she had Dom right in front of her."

Neal gave her a look. "Oh, I think she would." He stuck his tongue out at her.

Kel snorted. "Oh, I _really _don't think she so." 

Neal turned and gave Kel an odd look before speaking. "You willing to bet on it?" he asked, sculptured eyebrows arching.

Kel blinked. "You have to be kidding."

"Why? Scared you'll lose?"

Kel snorted. "No... I just don't _bet_. I'm too good and self righteous for that."

Neal snorted. "You're just afraid that you'll lose."

Kel pursed her lips together in an expression of disbelief. "I am _not_."

"Really? Then why won't you take the bet?"

Kel looked at him for a moment before raising her eyebrows. "What's the wager?" 

Neal grinned broadly. "If she _is_ checking me out, you come to my rooms and give me a strip tease."

Kel's eyes widened. "You have to be kidding," she said incredulously. "There's no way in hell."

"You forget my side of the wager," Neal pointed out, cocking his head to the side. 

"Really? What do you do if you lose, then?" Kel asked dryly.

Neal thought for a moment. "I'll strip in front of everyone here."

Kel raised her eyebrows. There was no way in hell. No matter how much she might have wanted Neal to embarrass himself in front of possibly the entire Tortallan court, she couldn't take the chance that she would lose. Imagine stripping for him in his rooms with no parental supervision! The thought was disturbing...

Still... Kate was an empath. She would be able to sense his intent before he even approached her. She would know to say no to whatever Neal asked her. And then Kel would have the pleasure of laughing heartily as Neal was forced to strip in front of the entire court...

Kel bit back a laugh. The idea of Neal acting the male prostitute was too amusing to pass up.

She held out a hand to him. "Deal."

Neal grinned. Kel felt like she had just made a deal with the devil. 

"Good. Now, I'll just go over there and ask milady for a dance..." Kel grabbed Neal's arm as he stood up. 

"There's no way you're going alone over there. I'm going with you." Neal looked at her for a moment, then shrugged. 

"Whatever." 

Together, they walked toward Kate, Kel trying to think as hard as she could "say no!" as Neal walked quickly up to the young Tyran woman. Kate turned and saw them before they got within ten feet of them. Kel shook her head at Kate behind Neal's back as he walked up to her. 

"Milady," he murmured, greeting her with a kiss on the hand. She curtsied appropriately, her dress draping around her in graceful ripples. 

"Milord," Kate echoed, straightening at the same time he did.

"I was watching you from across the room and couldn't help but admire your rather stunning beauty," Neal muttered huskily. Kel could see that Kate blushed and didn't like it one bit. 

"I was wondering," Neal continued smoothly, "if you would like to dance with me."

Kate found herself flustered for a moment. This man was being so – _dashing_ and utterly - _romantic_. Sometimes she wished that Christov was like that. But then she remembered she didn't need dashingly romantic men to satisfy her.

That, and the fact that she had picked up on his thoughts from when they were still on the other side of the room.

"I'm sorry, milord, but I'm afraid I'm simply not graceful enough to dance with you. I would trip over my feet, I fear!" Kate laughed. "But maybe you can dance for us. With your clothes off, that is."

From behind Neal, Kel snorted. 

Neal turned white.

"But surely, milady, you would rather dance with me than watch me-"

"No, I think would rather like to see you naked."

Neal made incoherent noises from the back of his throat.

Kel's smile had reached an all time high.

"Thank you, Kate," she said as she led Neal away. 

"Anything for a friend, lady," Kate called after them. 

* ~ * ~ * ~ * 

Neal walked with Kel up to the middle of the ballroom. "I am _not_ doing this," he growled dangerously at her.

"Yes, you are. You lost the bet. Besides, I want some entertainment."

"No!" Neal cried as Kel dragged him to the front of the room, near where the King, Queen, and Tyran diplomat sat. "I will not lower myself to this!"

"And you would rather have me strip for you?" Kel asked feverishly. "Were you so confident of your ability as a womanizer that you thought that any woman would just fall at your feet?"

"They usually do!" he hissed hurriedly. 

"Oh well. You can start your show here," Kel said, thrusting him into a stop right before the king. The monarchs looked at him strangely, as he blushed visibly. Kel turned to the crowd and smiled.

"My lords!" she cried over the sound of the music, raising up her hands and signaling for the bards to stop their playing. The music almost instantly stopped, as all that was left of the feverish talking of the past was replaced with a hushed murmuring. "My ladies," she continued, her voice softer now that there was no background noise to drown her out. 

"Today, I have a special treat for all of you," she said, sweeping her hand out to point to Neal. "For my very good friend here, Sir Nealan of Queenscove, is going to do something that has – most likely – never been seen in a Tortallan ball. For today," she continued, smiling appreciatively at Neal. "Neal, here, is going to put on a show that you will _never_ forget." She smiled slightly sadistically at Neal, who simply growled at her. 

The monarchs looked at the pair in a mix of confusion and interest. They didn't know what they had planned, but whatever it was promised to be interesting.

How very right they were.

Kel stepped aside. "Neal, you have the floor." She grinned at him one last time before retreating off to the side, and whispering something to one of the minstrels. The musician instantly gave out a snort and smirked at Neal before raising his horn to his lips. Blowing into it, a sweet, seductive song spilled out of it. 

Neal's cheeks turned a crimson red. 

Smiling apologetically to the king and queen, he started touching his chest and abdomen suggestively, causing a raised eyebrow from many a courier. Slowly, he began to slip his fingers under his tunic, causing many hushed murmurs from a couple of the nobles. The king and queen looked on in mild horror, and the Tyran diplomat looked a bit amused. 

Neal slowly fingered his tunic, rolling it up over his head as he did so. Low, sweet music came from the corner where the bards were playing. After a moment of hesitation, Neal pulled his tunic up over his head. 

A collective hush of gasps and murmurs spread across the ballroom. Women were either whispering excitedly to each other or staring at Neal in a combination of shock and sheer attraction.

Yuki looked like she was about to faint.

Dom was staring at Neal, the corners of his mouth twitching up in a faint smile. 

Cleon was snorting softly while his wife was hiding her face in his tunic to hide her amusement.

Lady Alanna was laughing hysterically. 

 Lord Raoul had come out of hiding behind a curtain to clutch a chair for support for the sole reason of not being able to stand up without falling on the floor in mad laugher. 

Kel was laughing like a maniac, as people started to stare at her like she needed some of those soothing drinks Lord Raoul was so fond of.

Neal, meanwhile, was slowly working at the buttons of his shirtfront, slowly edging his fingers down every inch of newly exposed skin that they came into contact with. 

_'For someone so reluctant in doing this_,' Kel thought as Neal torturously removed his shirt, _'he sure is good at it.'_

His shirt successfully removed, Neal threw it into a clump of admiring fan girls. Lady Stacia shrieked as she caught the shirt and continued to cradle it against herself. Lady Minerva, a notoriously jealous woman, grabbed the shirt out of Lady Stacia's hands and had a game of tug of war with her, ultimately causing Neal's shirt to rip in two and for Lady Stacia to have the bigger half. 

Neal shook his head from his spot in the center of the room. _'Fan girls,' _he sighed.

He now turned his attentions to caressing his body with his hands, as any good stripper would do. As he dropped one torturous touch after another, the king's eyes grew wider and wider, as Yuki promptly walked up to the nearest courier and neatly fainted in his arms.  Not knowing what to do with the exquisite Yamani woman, the man carried her over to a chair and sat her down there, then returned to watch the show. 

Neal had now come to the crucial point of his show: his breeches. Removing them without looking like a fool would be difficult, but Neal knew that he could do it without falling halfway down his legs and tripping over his own clothes. Taking a deep breath, he fingered the laces of his breeches lightly, enough to make the fan girls sigh. Most of the men in the crowd looked positively livid at the fact that their wives and daughters were staring so lustfully at the young man with the emerald green eyes, but too much in a state of shock to do anything about it. 

Neal clutched the laces of his breeches and slowly began to untie them. At this point, Kel was rolling on the floor in hysterics, admittedly a very un-Kel like thing to do, but nevertheless, a very appropriate thing at that moment, considering no one was watching her anyway.

Neal ran slender finders over his lower body sensuously as he slipped fingers down the side of his breeches. King Jonathan was rising to his feet, but the Tyran diplomat held him down. 

"He lost a bet. Let him finish it."

Jon looked at him. "I have empathy, like my daughter. It runs in the family."

Jon nodded, wide eyed, as he turned back to Neal. 

Steadily, Neal slipped his fingers lower and lower, causing his breeches to fall lower down his hips. Kel was positively livid with laughter, and would be so for another minute or so. 

Neal slowly pushed his breeches down to his knees, showing him in his loins. Numerous shrieks came from the direction of fan girl (c), a certain Lady Sarina. Suddenly, Lady Judith came out of nowhere and pounced on top of Lady Sarina, knocking her down so that she could have a better view of Neal. Lady Sarina pulled her down with her as Lady Judith landed with a distinct 'crash' on the floor.

Neal sighed again. _'They have an unnatural obsession for me. And Kel wonders why I have the ego I do.'_

Finally slipping his breeches off, Neal turned to Kel with a smile on his face. Picking up his breeches off the floor, he threw them into the pile of fan girls. They shrieked. 

Again. 

Neal put a finger to his lips, causing everyone to quiet down instantly. He swaggered over to Kel, swinging his hips sensuously. "So Kel," he said, walking up to her. 

"It's your choice." Kel looked up at him from her spot on the floor. Blushing, she stood up quickly when she realized almost everyone's eyes were on her. 

Kel swallowed. "What is, my dear Nealan?"

"Whether I go all the way, dear Keladry." He grinned wickedly. 

Kel blinked. The silence seemed to stretch across the entire room. She swallowed as Neal continued to smirk at her. He was bloody well enjoying this... 

A sudden disturbance snapped Kel out of her reverie. "Fuck!" echoed through the ballroom as Kel's head snapped to the side. What the hell...? 

A crowd parted in front of Buriram of Goldenlake and Malorie's Peak, who was currently clutching her lower abdomen. Kel blinked. What was going on…? 

Raoul fled to her side, seeming to magically appear from the other end of the room. "What's wrong, Buri?" he asked uncertainly as everyone watched them.

"I think-" she began "-that my water broke."

Raoul's eyes widened. 

Neal's eyes widened. 

Kel couldn't help but snort softly. 

"Would someone get a healer?" Buri croaked as small, incoherent noises emitted from the back of her throat. "Please?" she said, turning to Neal and glaring at him. 

"Oh. Right. I'm a healer. Hey. Who woulda thunk it?" Neal nodded.

"So would you get your worthless ass _over_ here and deliver my goddamned baby?" Buri shouted, her voice rising to fill the room.

Neal blinked. "But... I'm in my underwear."

Buri looked at him blankly.

Raoul, however, was not so reserved.

"My wife's having a fucking baby and all you can think about is your goddamned underwear?" he asked, stalking over to Neal. "You get over here and deliver this baby right now, Queenscove, or I will _personally_ make sure that you won't have a means of reproduction in the morning!" Raoul shouted, his nostrils flaring. 

Kel gulped. She didn't want to think of Neal without his... _equipment._ It would just ruin her opinion of him.

"Ah... My Lord, perhaps we should move Buri to some place more... suitable to delivering a baby?" she asked, coming up to him and touching his arm. He looked at herwordlessly for a moment, his anger slowly dissipating. Finally, he sighed. 

"You're right. As always. Buri, let's get you to the healer's wing. And you," he started, turning to Neal. "You can deliver the baby in your loins for all I care; you are _not _climbing into that pile of fan girls over there to find your clothes. Come on," he said, walking over to Neal and grabbing him by the arm. 

Neal waved frantically at the crowd. "Hope you enjoyed the show, everyone! Goodbye, ladies!"

The ladies sighed in unison.

* ~ * ~ * ~ *

"It looks like she's going to have complications," Duke Baird said as he removed his hand from Buri's stomach. Raoul looked up at him. 

"What? Complications? What kind of complications?"

"Nothing too serious," the duke assured him. "The baby and her will probably be fine-"

"Probably?" Raoul said, his voice cracking. "Probably," he said, a shaky laugh coming from the back of his throat. Turning, he grabbed Neal by the neck and hoisted him up against a wall, choking him. "She'll _probably_ be all right. I don't _do_ probablies!"

Neal let out a choking noise from the back of his throat.

Raoul blinked. "Oh. Sorry. I lose myself from time to time."

Neal gave a shaky laugh as he slid down the wall, rubbing his neck. "No problem, old chap," he said as his voice cracked.

Kel rolled her eyes and sighed before speaking. "So what kind of complications are there?" she asked, walking over to Buri and taking her hand reassuringly. 

The duke sighed. "Long labor. We might need to work at her. I'll need you, Neal. Someone should get Alanna too."

"I'll do it," Neal volunteered.  

"No," Baird interceded. "You stay here, just in case. Kel, you get her." Kel nodded and turned to the door. 

This was going to be a long night.

* ~ * ~ * ~ * 

Kel sat on a chair, her eyes drooping. She had been sitting here for four hours now, in the same ill-fitting, corseted dress. 

It was not a good night.

Her eyes closed before she could stop them. Shaking her head, she opened them back up. She couldn't fall asleep. Buri needed her...

_'Well, not really, if you think about it,'_ Kel admitted. _'It's more of a moral support thing. But... she _does _have Neal... and Alanna, and Raoul, and Baird... she doesn't _really_ need me...'_

Kel's eyes drooped once more.

_'Stop, Kel. You _can't_ fall asleep _now_... Buri could have the baby any minute now...'_

Neal watched Kel's eyes close for the final time that night. Clearing his throat, he looked at Raoul from across Buri. 

"Would you bring her to her rooms, please? I don't want her sleeping like that."

Raoul looked at him for a moment, then down to his wife. She nodded and closed her eyes as if she was in pain. Raoul eyed her with concern, but the pain eased a moment later. 

"Go, love."

With a disgruntled moan, Raoul nodded and looked at Neal. "If she has the baby while I'm gone, I swear, I'll break you apart."

Neal smiled cheerily. "Love you too, milord."

Sighing, Raoul went over to Kel and put an arm under her shoulder, lifting her to her feet. "Come on, Kel. Let's go to bed."

"But I dun wanna," she protested, her eyes still closed as Raoul walked her to the door.

It was at that precise instant that Kel collapsed in sleep.

Raoul shook his head as he lifted her legs up to carry her. She cradled herself against his chest like a baby would do a father, nestling her head against his chest. 

Raoul sighed and brought her to her rooms.

* ~ * ~ * ~ * 

A distinct pounding jolted Kel out of sleep. She moaned groggily as she looked outside her bedside window. It was just before dawn. Faint rays of light were visible on the horizon. 

_'Wait. Bedside window?'_

The knocking persisted, as Kel realized with a dim perception, that she was in her rooms. 

_'How did I get here...?'_

Dragging herself out of bed, she winced as she became entwined with the sheets she had apparently been under and fell onto the floor. Years of training caused her to slap the floor at just the right time, but it was still painful to her disorientated mind. 

Getting herself up off the floor, she looked at herself. She was still in that same uncomfortable, ridiculously tight, red dress. She was beginning to think fate had a certain sense of humor. 

Ambling over to the door, she hesitated for a moment before opening it. 

Neal was standing in front of her, dried blood on his hands, bags under his bloodshot eyes, just slightly slouching in the doorway. 

"Neal... what happened?" Kel asked, covering a yawn with her hand.

Neal gave her a once over, looking at her from head to toe, lingering on areas that made even Kel's sleep deprived mind uncomfortable. "You're still wearing that damn dress."

"Yeah. I guess I didn't get a chance to take it off at night. Listen, how did I get here?"

"Raoul carried you," Neal replied simply before stepping into her rooms and closing the door behind him. 

"Raoul... wait, what about Buri? Is the baby okay?" Kel's eyes danced with worry.

"Buri and the baby are fine. She had a bit of a lengthy labor, is all. We had to use a lot of our magic to set her and the baby right." Neal leaned up against the wall adjoining the door. 

"Oh," Kel replied quietly. She swallowed. There was something he wasn't telling her...

"Hey, Kel?" Neal asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Yeah?"

"Why _did _you wear that dress, anyway?"

Kel looked at him for a minute. His face was carefully blank, devoid of any hint that might show his feelings. She gulped slowly. Things were not looking up...

"I didn't _want_ to. Yuki made me."

"Hm." Neal unfolded his arms and took a step towards Kel. Kel took a half step back.

"Ah... Neal? Is everything all right?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah, everything's fine," he said as he moved towards her. Kel continued to back up.

"Because..." she started. "You've been acting a bit – _strange_, is all." Kel felt her back hit the wall.

Neal shrugged. "I'll be normal in the morning."

Kel raised her eyebrows as Neal put his arms on either side of the portion of the wall she was leaning up against, trapping her. 

"Normal?" Her voice cracked.

Neal leaned in, taking a deep breath of her hair before pulling away. "Why do you have to look so damn fuckable?" 

Kel's eyes widened as Neal kissed her quickly once. She managed to plant her hands on his chest and push him away, but not enough to manage to get away.

"Uh... Neal? Are you drunk?"

Neal grinned sheepishly. "No..." he said as he giggled.

Kel blinked. Did he just... giggle?

"But using as much energy as I did in delivering the baby produces almost the same effect."

He grinned as he leaned in and kissed her again. 

Kel tried to will herself to pull away. She really did. She knew if they were going to kiss, it wouldn't be when he was in a state of half-drunkness. It would not be a little before dawn, when there was still blood on his hands. It would be on some moonlit night with stars, and gardens, and cheesy romantic music playing in the background. She knew how terribly cliché it was, but she didn't care. She had the right to be cliché if she wanted. So what if she wanted to act like a court lady for just this once?

Her body, however, had different ideas.

Her mouth responded to him in its own sensual way, caressing his with a fiery, bruising kiss. His tongue sloppily hit her teeth, then hit home as it joined hers. She felt her one arm wrapping up around his neck, while the other moved to encircle his waist. Neal pushed her up against the wall and pressed his body against hers. 

Neal broke away, smiled, and proceeded to trace a line of kisses down her chin. He ran soft lips over her throat, pressing lightly at one moment, then applying such pressure that it made Kel gasp. Neal smirked at her reaction, and, encouraged at her soft moans, hoisted her up against the wall, wrapping her legs around his hips.

Kel pulled back for a moment, taken by surprise, as Neal melded himself up against her. She could feel every muscle tighten against hers. Her body coursing with need, she took the hand that hade been wrapped around his waist and trailed it lower, just below the small of his back, and pushed him into her. 

Both moaned as their hips moved against each other. Kel couldn't help but curse at the damn red dress for keeping her from him. 

Running fingers down the sides of his breeches, she was pleased as he shivered agreeably. Slipping her fingers down his hips, she edged them downward...

And abruptly fell to the ground as Neal collapsed.

"Ow..." she said, rubbing the spot where she had fallen. Crawling over to Neal, she saw that he was, indeed, out cold. 

"The gods must hate me," Kel murmured to herself as she looked at Neal. _'Guess delivering the baby was too much for him. '_

Sighing, Kel stood up. She grabbed Neal under his shoulder and dragged him across the room and into her bed. It was still warm. 

Placing him in gently, she removed his boots and got in herself. Rolling the covers up over both of them, she couldn't help but put a protective arm around him as she drifted off into sleep.

* ~ * ~ * ~ * 

Teehee. It is finally done. It's 29 freaking pages. This is not good. I'm going to have to keep writing longer and longer chapters and it will take forever. Alas. Sorry for getting this chapter out so late. I've been really busy this week, what with finals and such. Ah...with Neal being tipsy, I figure, when you heal people, it makes you tired. So, technically, Neal was just _so_ overtired that he acted like he was drunk. Does that make sense? I think it does. I mean, think about it. After Alanna had healed all those people in the river Drell, she did something she wouldn't normally do and went and snuggled up to Jonathan... so just go with me here, people. Thanks to all the reviewers. You're the best. Rock my box, you do. Hope those who got cameos liked them. Muah. Lady Stacia. What is this world coming to? *shakes head* Oh well. Gotta go post this. Bye everyone. 

Love,

Stacey

P.S. The title of this chapter, "Strictly Nealan", comes from the Baz movie "Strictly Ballroom." I don't know why, but the chapter reminds me of it. Whatever.

P.P.S. Btw, JEAN-CLAUDE IS A FREAKING HOT PANTS DELUXE! Lol. __


	13. Repercussions of a Childish, but Otherwi...

Disclaimer: Not a chance in hell. Although, the plot is mine.

What's it gonna be 'cuz I can't pretend   
Don't you want to be more than friends  
Hold me tight and don't let go  
Don't let go  
You have the right to lose control  
Don't let go  
            En Vogue – Don't Let Go (Love)

Underneath the Surface – Chapter 12 – Repercussions of a Childish, but Otherwise Comical Act 

Kel dimly noted that her arms were wrapped around something warm and hard as she opened her eyes to a bright, glaring world. 

"Shit," she cursed softly when she saw the sun high in the midday sky. Looking down, she glanced at Neal's still sleeping form. He would probably be out for a while, she mused. He looked so different when he slept... innocent, almost. That's how he looked. Childlike, to a point. She would have never thought that _Neal _of all people would have an innocent side to him, but looking at him as he was, and wrapped up in the warmth of him, she would have been fully content to keep him like that. 

Where he couldn't seduce her.

Or kiss her, for that matter.

She wondered if he would remember what they had done. Knowing her luck, probably not. Still, there was that small chance...

_'No. He was drunk. Well, drunk-_ish_, anyway. Stop obsessing about it, Kel. You're going to drive yourself crazy.' _ 

Kel sighed as she untangled Neal's arms from around her. Careful to move as slowly and quietly as possible, she crawled awkwardly backwards out of bed. Feeling the bedside sneak up on her as she crept away from Neal, she brought a foot down to step off...

When she abruptly realized that while she had remembered to remove Neal's arms from her body, she hadn't done so with the sheets.

The sheet, still wrapped around her legs, was a cause of much difficulty and pain as she slid down the side of the bed to the floor. The covers were yanked off Neal as they slid with her. Her dress didn't help her situation. 

"Ouch," Kel whispered.

She looked over the end of the bed warily, checking for any signs that she had woken Neal up. Peering silently for a moment of two, she breathed a sigh of relief to see that he wasn't shaken from sleep.

Quietly disentangling herself from her sheets, she crawled away from them and stood up. Looking fondly at Neal, she took the sheets that had been sprawled on the floor and covered him with them, tucking him in. He _did_ look childlike when he slept. So damn innocent... yet she knew that he would be able to turn her on fire the moment he woke up.

It was _not _a comforting thought. 

Gazing at him one last time before turning away, she walked to her dresser and pulled out breeches and a shirt. Anything to get rid of this damn dress. After sleeping in it for a couple of hours, she was much more appreciative of what court ladies had to go through everyday. Her chest felt so constricted and - _tight._ It wasn't a pleasant feeling.

She reached back to try and unlace her dress.

Kel froze as her mind echoed some rather choice Yamani curses.

She couldn't get the laces undone without someone's help.

"It figures," Kel moaned softly, planting her clothes on the floor as she looked at Neal, "that _he _would be the only one here to help me with this ridiculous thing."

Looking fleetingly at the door, she realized she could go for help. Yuki would be most willing to oblige. However, certain – _explanations_ would be entailed. As in where Neal had gone after he was finished delivering the baby. And what had prevented Kel from taking off the dress the night before. 

Kel was sure it would be a hoot.

Shaking her head, Kel crossed her arms over her chest. The only other woman she would really thinking of going to was Lalasa, but to do that, she would have to ride down to the city, which was just silly. In the time it took her to get there, sidesaddle, mind you, it and ride back, she could have just cut the dress off herself with scissors. 

_'Which,'_ Kel thought with a wry grin, _'might not be a bad idea.'_

Shaking her head, Kel considered anyone else that might be eligible. Shinko just wasn't possible; she was always away from her rooms dealing with couriers who might think that a foreign bride was not the most apt to run the country. Besides, by going out now, this late in the morning, or rather, earlier in the afternoon, she might raise some eyebrows among – _choice_ people.

Ermelian was the only other woman she really knew well enough to go to ask. But Ermelian didn't like her. It presented a slight problem.

Sighing, she glanced at Neal's sleeping form. He was just resting there, eyes closed, in her bed.

Her bed.

What an odd thing.

True, she might have dreamt of this when she was a page, maybe even those first few months as a squire, but now...

It was just – _strange_.

On the one hand, she felt like he shouldn't be there. That she was doing something wrong in lusting after him as she did, and that whatever feelings she might have for him should be put violently aside.

On the other hand... just watching him made her stomach go tight with need and want and lust and all sorts of other things that were no doubt harmful for her own well being, not to mention his.

She couldn't help but want to tuck that stray hair behind his ear and touch his face the way a lover might, soft touches and caresses in the night...

Kel shook her head. This was no way to think this early in the morning. If she was going to lust after him, at least do it at night.

Sighing, Kel ambled over to Neal without much eagerness. She didn't want to wake him up to ask him to go and undress her. It seemed – well... _immoral_.

Kel laughed silently as she walked over to his side of the bed. It was far too along in the game to think of what was moral and what was not.

Moving over to him, she tapped him on the shoulder lightly.

"Neal?"

No answer.

"Neal, wake up!" Kel said, prodding him in his arm.

Neal started to snore.

Kel snickered silently as she poked him once again.

"Neal, would you stop sleeping? I need you to undress me!"

"What?" Neal asked, jumping upright in bed, wide-awake.

Kel snorted and shook her head. Sometimes, this was just too easy.

Putting a hand on his shoulder, she sighed. "I – I can't get the lacings down on this dress. I need you to do it for me."

Neal blinked. 

"I'm – honored, Kel, really I am, but don't you think we should save that sort of thing for tonight and not first thing in the morning? I mean... I'm tired..." He yawned, as if to prove his point.

Kel scowled at him. "Don't flatter yourself. I only asked you because I thought you wouldn't want me going to Yuki and telling her that you spent the night. I guess I was wrong." She got up to leave.

Neal's arm shot out to grab her and pull her down roughly into bed next to him. "Don't you dare."

Kel raised an eyebrow. "Then be quiet and stop being such a tease."

Neal glared at her for a second, then sighed. "It _is_ ever so much fun, though." He grinned after a moment. "Besides, you won't tell Yuki."

Kel cocked her head to the side. "Really? And how would _you _know that?"

Neal snorted. "I know you better than anyone, Kel. You always keep quiet, even when you _know _you're in too deep."

Kel narrowed her eyes at him for a minute, then relaxed. "Whatever. Just – can you help me with this thing or not?"

"Sure," Neal said, sitting up. He brought his hands up to Kel's shoulders and touched them lightly. Kel almost shivered before remembering to control herself.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Neal smirk. "Like that, do you, milady?"

"Again, don't flatter yourself."

"Ouch. And here I was thinking that you liked it when I touched you."

"Would you shut up and undress me?"

"As my lady wishes..." Neal grinned wickedly before running his fingers across her back and down to the laces. Kel had to bite her lip to keep from making – _suggestive_ – noises. 

Slowly, Neal started to untie the laces at the back of her dress. 

He made all his actions slow and deliberate, taking care to make sure his fingers "accidentally" touched every back of newly exposed skin. He wasn't allowed her entire back; her corset stopped him from doing that, but it was enough for Kel to wish she had just cut the dress off her herself instead of submitting to this torture.

_'Come on, Kel. Show some self-control. He's just – Neal. Oh, _that's _supposed to make me feel a lot better. The fact that he's Neal and has seen me naked is going to make me any less – _aroused..._' _ Kel swallowed, her throat moving up and down as she did. Neal did not make her – _aroused_...

She shivered as Neal worked his hands down her back.

Or maybe he did...

Neal grinned again. "Hm. I thought I couldn't get you all tingly, Kel. I thought I 'shouldn't flatter myself.'" He smirked in the corner of her eye. 

"Oh... bugger off. Would you just finish?"

Neal snorted before unlacing the last of the dress. "Done," he breathed, keeping his hands on her bare back. Kel suddenly found it very hard to breathe.

"Neal?" she asked, her voice a bit shakier than she would have liked it. 

"Yeah?" His voice cracked. At least she wasn't the only one that was nervous.

"Why are your hands still touching me?"

"What can I say? They have a mind of their own."

"Oh-h. Great."

"Isn't it?"

"Would you mind telling your hands to remove themselves from me?"

Kel suddenly found Neal's face next to hers. He had slid up next to her, taking one hand and moving it around her, resting it on the bed, so that he hand one arm on either side of her. 

_'I'm screwed, aren't I?'_

"Uhm... Neal? What are you doing?"

"If I had any idea, I would tell you."

"That's – not good."

"Probably not."

Neal's face approached slowly as Kel suddenly found herself not caring about what the consequences to their actions might be. She tried to swallow, but couldn't. Breathing had the same amount of exertion attached to it. She abruptly realized that Neal was having the same difficulties as she was. 

"Uhm... Neal?

"Yeah?"

"You should probably go back to sleep or something."

"I should, shouldn't I?

"Yeah, you really should. I mean... you're probably... tired... from last night..."

"Yeah. Sleep _would _be the generally practical thing."

"So you should go and lie down now."

"Yeah. I should."

Kel realized for the first time how truly green his eyes were. Emeralds didn't even compare. You couldn't get lost in an emerald. With Neal, you could. 

"Then maybe, the appropriate thing – "

Neal kissed her.

It was the lightest of touches, but Kel could feel herself acutely aroused at just the most featherlike of contacts. It was quick and slightly abrupt, and Neal pulled away far too quickly, but Kel didn't care. 

Neal had kissed her and her head was being torn in exactly forty-three directions at once. 

Neal pulled back looking at her, trying to make sense of what he had just done. He stared at her, and when he realized that she wasn't treating him like he had done something wrong, he leaned in again.

The door opened before he touched her lips.

"Heh... I can... come back... later... I guess... heh..."

Kel blinked. 

"Ah... Cleon? He-y..." Kel smiled nervously.

"Um... if you guys are busy-" he eyed Kel's half dressed state "-I'll just... leave..."

He grinned before turning to go.

"Ah..." Kel got up off the bed and hurried over to him, leaving Neal sitting there. "Cleon, there's no need to go... really! I mean... I wanted to get out of this... _incredibly_... uncomfortable dress, and I couldn't get it myself... so I asked Neal. That's all. Really." She tittered apprehensively, giving him a smile which she hoped looked to look convincing. 

Cleon grinned, and even Kel could tell that his smile was a tad forced.

He nodded agreeably. "Sure, Kel. Whatever you say, Kel." He blushed.

Kel cursed inwardly. He didn't believe her.

"Ah..." He turned to Neal. "Yuki's looking for you, by the way. She was... wondering where you were when you were supposed to be getting fitted for your clothes for the wedding."

Neal cursed in several different languages. 

"Ah... right. I'm... gonna go now." He turned to leave in a hurry. Opening the door, he turned around to face them. "Just... remember to lock the door next time you decide to almost make out, would you?" He shook his head before leaving and closing the door.

Kel blinked. _'This is my life...'_

"Uh... Neal?"

"I should go," he said, getting up and putting his boots on. 

Kel nodded. "You should. Who knows how long Yuki's been looking for you..." her voice trailed off.

Neal finished slipping his boots on and stood up. "Right."

He walked over to Kel. For a moment, she thought he was going to kiss her again before he turned and walked out the door, without muttering so much as a goodbye.

Kel grinned wryly as she watched his retreating form walk down the hallway. Nodding to herself, she closed the door.

"Yep. It's official. Life's a bitch. Then you die."

* ~ * ~ * ~ * 

Neal could have challenged the Stump to a joust.

He was an idiot. 

A full grown, stupid, idiot.

He rubbed his temples with his hands, trying to make sense of things as he walked down the hall towards his fiancé's room. He had kissed Kel. And _why _did he kiss Kel? Because he was an idiot.

_'That makes sense.'_

And then Cleon walked in, which fully reminded him that he had a fiancé and responsibilities and all sorts of things like that to contend with. He couldn't be – _dallying _around with the maid of honor. It sounded like one of those ridiculous theatricals that players put on about scandalous affairs and love triangles between friends. It was – stupid. 

And it made him feel very cliché, which he hated.

Neal walked blindly down the hallway, not even noticing when he bumped into another one of his fan girls, Lady Sandrilene, who sighed and backed up against the wall at just the small fact that Neal had even _touched _her. 

He could have gone and stabbed himself. It would have made things so much easier. He wouldn't have to see Kel's hazel eyes swimming in his mind every time he closed his eyes, wouldn't hear her voice every time he was trying to talk to Yuki, wouldn't have to wish that he was running his fingers through brown hair instead of black whenever he kissed Yuki.

Suddenly, Neal came to a realization.

_'I'm in love with Kel.'_

Neal stopped in his furious strides as he leaned up against a wall. 

_'Well. This sucks.'_

* ~ * ~ * ~ * 

Dom knocked on Kel's door cautiously. Ever since last night, he had been more reserved around her than usual. Perhaps it was the rejection getting to him.

Well, not perhaps. He _knew_ it was the rejection getting to him.

He sighed as he stood there in her doorway. She heard a distinct crash come from the other side of the door as he raised an eyebrow. _'That's – weird...'_

The door opened, a slightly ruffled Kel standing in the entranceway. Her hair was mussed, clothes looked like she had just thrown them on. Her smile, however, remained.

"Sorry. I overslept. I was just getting dressed and you knocked and it sort of startled me." She blushed. Dom snorted. 

"Are you all right?" he asked, reaching out his arm to touch her shoulder. He didn't notice her stiffening under his touch.

"Oh, I'm fine. You want to come in as opposed to standing out here and finishing this conversation?" 

Dom nodded and stepped inside, Kel closing the door behind her. Walking over to her dresser, she made herself busy by taking a leather thong and tying her hair up in a horsetail with it. It had gotten longer in the recent months she had been away. 

"So what happened last night after we left?" she asked, her back to him. 

Dom snickered. "The king made a formal announcement that Neal simply lost a bet and that the ball would continue as scheduled. How he found that out, I'll never know. Was that how it was?" Dom asked, coming up behind her and wrapping arms around her waist.

Kel did her best not to stiffen. Strangely, she succeeded. "Yeah."

"What did he bet, anyway?" he asked, trailing his mouth over her shoulder. 

"That – ah – Lady Kate - the diplomat's daughter – was checking him out. He lost."

Dom grinned as he kissed her neck softly. "And the Queenscove ego emerges. Thank Mithros that tendency stayed on his side of the family." He laughed as he moved his mouth upwards. 

"Don't be so sure of yourself," Kel told him, her voice wavering slightly. There were too many men kissing her for one day.

Dom laughed softly as his mouth caressed the hollow just below her ear. Try as she might not to, that was enough for Kel to stiffen and pull away, her back to him.

Dom looked at her warily. "What is it this time, Kel?" he asked, his voice almost tired. 

Kel eyed him as she turned to face him. He looked almost annoyed, as if he were fed up with her. Frankly, with the way she had been treating him lately, she would be too. 

"Nothing. It's nothing. Really, Dom." She kissed him lightly, as to prove her point. 

Dom looked at her for a minute before sliding his mouth over hers, fondling it gently, raising his hands up to cup her face. She was surprised, and not pleasantly, to feel his tongue slowly trace her lips. 

A steady heat spread across her face as she pulled back slowly, not enough for him to be suspicious as to her motives, but back nonetheless. 

Kel looked at him and forced a small smile to come to her face. She decided that she would make a good player.

Dom smiled back at her and kissed her forehead. "Have you eaten?"

Kel shook her head. "No."

"Do you want to go somewhere?"

Kel thought about being alone with him for about a millisecond. 

"Ah... maybe we should just stay at the palace. Wouldn't want anyone getting the wrong idea."

"And here I am, hoping that someone will get the right idea." Dom smiled and touched her cheek affectionately. 

"Dom-" Kel started, her eyes worried.

"Shh." He put a finger over her lips. "Let's go."

He took her hand and walked backwards to the door. She followed, not knowing what else to do. The look on his face was so open, so – loving. It was impossible for her to feel like this. She knew she would never love him...

She would never love him, but she could hurt him.

Oh, how she could hurt him. 

* ~ * ~ * ~ * 

The cooks were serving lunch by the time Kel and Dom arrived in the mess hall. It was, after all, past noon. Kel and Neal had slept so late that she wondered if they hadn't sent out a brigade looking for them. She decided not to ask Dom if anyone had been looking for them. It might be harmful to her health.

She sat down next to him as they started eating. He entertained her with all sorts of tales from his earlier years in the Own, Kel laughing – or gasping - at all the appropriate places. Around halfway through the meal, Owen joined them with his betrothed, Natalia of Amatan. They made light conversation – the war, friends, and Neal's wedding, for the most part. Natalia was a bit of a peculiar creature, with a tendency towards violence, but as long as she made Owen happy, Kel had no qualms with her. Kel thought she was home free until Neal and Yuki appeared behind her.

"Hello, Kel," Yuki said from behind her, putting a hand on her shoulder. The lady knight jumped as she turned to face Yuki. 

"Yu-" she coughed "-Yuki," Kel grinned. It seemed hollow and fake to her, but it looked as if she had fooled everyone else. 

Yuki raised an eyebrow, Neal behind her. "Someone's a bit off today. Was last night too much fun for you, Kel?"

Kel blushed. She didn't see that Neal did too.

"Well, it was rather eventful," she laughed nervously. 

"Yes, what with Meathead stripping and all," Dom interceded as Kel turned a bright crimson. Luckily for her, no one noticed. 

Yuki glanced at Dom for a moment, giving a sickeningly forced smile before turning to Neal and making a face at him. 

Neal, strangely, was quiet through this whole conversation. 

"What? Don't want to say something _now_, Neal?" Yuki asked, her voice rising. "You certainly seemed to have a lot to say last night, didn't you?"

"Yuki," Neal started softly. 

Yuki flushed a deep red, as if suddenly realizing that she had acquired an audience. Smiling perfectly, she sat down next to Dom, as Neal was forced to sit next to Kel. 

Kel couldn't have been happier. 

In a _completely_ sarcastic way, of course.

_'Why doesn't she just go and _tell_ us to sleep together?'_ Kel thought as Neal gave her a tiny smile as he sat down. 

"So why _did_ you go and strip last night?" Dom asked when they had all settled in. "The king said it was a bet, but... what was the wager, anyway?"

Both Kel and Neal turned red and looked at each other.

"I think," Kel started, a small smile gracing her lips, "that it would be best if you didn't know all the details." 

"Don't be such a ninny," Owen said from across the table. "Tell us! Keeping it a secret wouldn't be very jolly."

"Owen, shut up," Neal muttered under his breath.

"What?"

Neal gave an aggravated sigh. "Nothing, sweetums." 

Owen gave Neal a look before turning to Kel. "So what _was_ the wager? I'm sure everyone would like to know."

"Yes," Yuki began, giving Kel what she thought was the first slightly malicious look she had seen in all her years of knowing her. "I'm sure we would _all_ like to know."

Kel swallowed and looked at Neal. His eyes were bright with apprehension. She knew that if she told Yuki the full extent of the bet, Neal would be lucky to live out the day, much less remain engaged. 

The question was, did she really want him to?

One look from Neal was enough. If he was going to break up with Yuki – _if_, mind you – it would be in private. Not that he would anyway. 

The question was, what would she tell them?

"Eh..." Kel started. "Well... it was a bit of a... eh..."

"It was a one sided bet," Neal finished quickly for her. "I was – eh... complaining that that girl – Lady Kate – kept looking at me and Kel bet me that she wasn't and I said she was. That's all."

Owen raised an eyebrow. "Well, we know what would happen if _you _lost the bet. What about Kel?"

Neal tried to keep the tight smile on his face as he turned to look at Kel. This was _not_ going to be pretty...

"If I had lost, I had to seduce... eh..." She looked at Dom pointedly and blushed. 

Dom blinked. "Who?"

Neal coughed, catching on to Kel's rather strange behavior, and looked at Dom, cocking his head to him. Dom just stared at him for a second before a look of realization came to his face. 

"Oh. Me." 

"Yes, you, you big oaf," Neal said, doing his best to keep the show going. He hit Dom on the back of the head with the flat of his palm. Dom glared at him before turning away and blushing, looking down at his food rather pointedly.

"So who made the bet?" Yuki asked, breaking the uncomfortable silence that had spread across Dom, Kel and Neal. 

Neal blinked. 

_'Aw, shit.'_

"Eh..." Neal began.

"It was..." Kel trailed off.

"Me," Neal said. Yuki looked at him for a moment before nodding and turning away, finding her sandwich rather fascinating at the time being. 

Kel looked at Neal for a moment. He returned her gaze with a look that should have scared her. Such raw fire as the kind that passed over his face shouldn't be displayed in public. It was the kind of thing that would get them caught.

Not that they were doing anything wrong, of course. Because – they weren't – _cheating_ on their significant others. No, of course not. They were just – acting as good friends would. Yes, that was it. 

_Good friends._

Kel was the first to look away. No one seemed to have noticed their odd behavior. They were all looking politely away at their food. No one had sensed the moment of tension, anxiety – and quite possibly, passion – that had passed between the two companions.

_'Passion,'_ Kel thought, shaking her head. _'What a ridiculous romantic notion.' _

_'Because it wasn't like Neal kissed you or anything,'_ a condescending voice said in the back of her head. _'And it wasn't like Neal saw you naked, and straddled you more times than you can count. No, _none_ of that would apply for passionate behavior.'_

If she could have, Kel would have knocked that disagreeable part of her mind out.

Dom looked at her for a moment before Kel realized that he was staring at her. She blinked and looked up at him.

"What?"

Dom blushed and looked away. "Nothing. Are you ready to go?"

Kel looked at her plate. She had been done for a while. She had just been prolonging being alone with him.

"Yeah," she muttered. 

"Good." Dom stood up. "We'll be seeing you then, Meathead, Yuki." He nodded at them, turning to Owen and Natalia. "You too." 

Kel got up to leave. Neal caught her hand before she was able to stand up.

"Eh... Kel? Are we meeting later? To talk about... the thing?"

Kel blinked.

"Uh... yes. The... thing." She looked at him strangely for a second until Neal raised his eyebrows pointedly. "Oh... _that _thing!" She nodded and continued to look at him strangely. "Sure." 

Neal smiled. "Good. Now, off with you, knave! I shall not see you till later!"

Kel snorted and stood up. "Let me guess. You'll pine?"

"Of course," Neal told her, clasping her hand his both of his. "Goodbye." He grinned in what Kel would have thought a seductive nature.

Of course not. Neal wouldn't be _that_ stupid. He wouldn't do that in front of Yuki...

Or maybe he would...

 "Bye Neal," Kel said, an exasperated sigh escaping her lips before she withdrew her hand from his and joined arm-in-arm with Dom. Neal watched them leave.

Yuki looked at him incredulously. "Neal," she said, her voice dryer than she had probably intended.

Neal blinked as he turned to look at her. "What?" he asked, pulling away from her. 

Yuki glared at him and raised and eyebrow. Neal blushed and turned away. Owen coughed suggestively. 

Both Neal and Yuki blushed.

This day was _not_ looking up.

* ~ * ~ * ~ *

Kel and Dom had gone horseback riding that day. She had tried out her new riding gloves. They fit perfectly. 

They had returned a little before sunset, had a quiet dinner of just the two of them, and Dom had left. Of course, he had kissed her a couple of times, but that wasn't too important to Kel anymore. She had gotten to the point where she could kiss him back and not flinch.

Kel was back in her rooms, with seemingly, nothing to do but wait for Neal to come over and talk about whatever "the thing" might be.

She looked at a pile of books Neal had given her for her past birthday. It had been two months since then. He had thought it would make her "more civilized" if she read. As far as she was concerned, it was a thoughtful, but futile gesture.

Now, however, they might provide a much needed distraction to her life.

She started looking through them. 'The History of Carthaki Agriculture' was the first one she saw. She made a face at his choice. Taking the book, she removed it from the pile to see the next one. On top of the proceeding book, there was a not attached to it.

It read: Hope you liked my joke. You know I would never put you through that. I just love you too much.

Kel blushed at the newfound meaning. He had given her these a while ago and she had never really looked at it. She felt bad now. She had been a tad busy, after all. Playing scout against the Scanrans had taken quite a bit of time. He had sent the present with a messenger to her tent, but she had never found the time to take the time to examine them. Now, she wished she had. 

Looking at the next book, she saw it was a book on Yamani weaponry throughout history. She couldn't help but smile. The next book was a collection of songs written about famous females in Tortall. Her eyes lit up. Skimming through it, she found many famed names, including the Lioness, Thayet the Peerless, and strangely enough, herself.

Kel shook her head. Who would ever think of writing a song about her? She hadn't done anything meriting a song being written about her. She saw that it was about her going into Scanra and saving the children from Blayce, the nothing man. She also saw that it was by one of the refugees she had saved. She smiled wryly. They thought too much of her, truly they did. Neal must have gone to great pains to travel all the way to New Hope to find someone who had written a song about her.  

Moving on, she looked to see the last one. It was some sort of – novel. About – love. Why was he giving her a book on love? Him and his romantic heart…

She a bit intrigued, to say the least, but had to put it down when she heard a knock on the door. She creased her forehead, wondering who it would be. 

Then she remembered that Neal was coming to visit. 

Walking to the door, she turned the knob to see that it was, indeed, Neal. He stood in her doorway in an almost nervous manner, hands crammed in his pockets tightly. Kel raised an eyebrow. "Do you want to talk about _the thing_ now?"

Neal gave a nervous laugh as he gave a weak smile. "Let me come in?"

"My pleasure."

Neal stepped inside and Kel closed the door after him – taking care to make sure to lock it.

"So," she said, walking over to the couch and slouching on the arm of it lazily. "What is this _thing_ you're so interested it? I have to admit, I'm intrigued." She smiled.

Neal blinked. "Would you shut up? You're being an idiot."

Kel frowned at him. "Me? I'm not the one that kissed my best friend."

"I'm not the one that kissed my best friend back," Neal shot back.

"I didn't kiss you back. You didn't give me the chance to kiss you back."

"So you admit that you would have, given the chance?"

"Neal, shut up. You're being stupid."

"That makes two of us." He crossed his hands over his chest and stalked over to her desk where she had been looking at the books.

"Lover's Walk?" he said, picking up the last book she had been looking at. "Didn't I give this to you?"

"Yeah. I only got a chance to look at the stuff now."

Neal turned to her, eyes flaring. "What, you just automatically ignore the stuff I give you because it's books? I'm sure you didn't ignore whatever _Dom _gave you."

"Dom didn't give me anything," Kel told him, her voice rising. "I hadn't seen him in weeks, and we weren't courting or anything, and _why _are you being such a pain in the ass?"

"Me? I'm not being a pain in the ass. _You_ are." He stalked over to her.

"Excuse you," Kel started, getting off the arm of the couch and to her feet. "You're the one that just started _attacking_ me because I didn't get a chance to read your bloody books because I had bloody border patrol and if you're going to be like this just _leave_, would you?" Kel moaned in an aggravated fashion, sauntering over to him moodily. 

"Mithros, I come over here to ask you if you want to go out tomorrow night for dinner and you're acting like this! You're impossible!" Neal shook his head.

"But we _can't _go out. We're both involved with other people!" Kel pointed out, her voice still loud. 

"I know!" Neal shouted. "I never said it would be a date!"

"So what is it, then?" Kel responded deafeningly.

"It's a gathering of two friends where we go out for dinner and have fun and possibly do other things!" Neal threw up his hands in exasperation.

"What kind of other things?"

"I don't know! Why don't I just look into my crystal ball and find out?"

"Fine! Be like that!"

"Fine! Pick you up at seven?"

"Sure."

"Good."

Neal stared at her and stuffed his hands in his pockets again. They stood there, gaze at each other for a moment.

"Why are we acting so weird?" Kel asked finally.

"I have no idea. It's strange."

"It is. What do you want me to wear?"

Neal looked her over and frowned. "A dress, maybe. Nothing too fancy, just something nice."

"Where are you taking me?"

"A man doesn't reveal his secrets."

"Peh." Kel snorted and walked over to him. "You just don't know where you can get in without reservations."

"That too." He grinned at her and kissed her on the forehead. "Must be off, now." He hugged her tightly before turning and walking out the door. 

Kel watched his retreating figure and sighed. Things were just getting weirder and weirder...

Yet for the first time in this past week and a half, things were starting to look up.

* ~ * ~ * ~ * 

A/N: Muah. I'm done. I have to make this short because I need to go to my friend's house for a sleepover to watch a whole bunch of Buffy stuff, so... REVIEW!!! YEAH!!! I realize that this chapter is amply weird, and I don't have time to spell check it now, so if there's mistakes, please forgive them. Love you guys. Min, review, goddamn you, or I swear I'll do something violent. Bye, lovies.

Love,

Stacey


	14. The Dangerous Lives of Lap Dancers

Disclaimer: Same as last time.

A/N: In the infamous words of Lady Katharine Heartspark: **YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.**

_I've crossed the last line  
From where I can't return  
Where every step I took in faith betrayed me  
And led me from my home_

_And sweet  
Sweet surrender  
Is all that I have to give_

Sarah McLachlan – "Sweet Surrender"

**Underneath the Surface – Chapter 13 – The Dangerous Lives of Lap Dancers**

Kel had decided that she was officially screwed.

It was an hour away from her date with Neal and she had no idea what to wear. 

She had thought about wearing one blue dress that she though would be perfect. She had discovered that she had grown out of it maybe two years ago. 

Her next choice had been a green dress that ended a bit below her knees. She saw that it was ripped in about five different places in the seams.

Kel had been staring at the inside of her closet in contemplation for a while before digging through the back of it to find _anything_ that she could wear. She had narrowed her choices down to two dresses: a black dress that sported a pattern of red flowers, and The Red Dress.

Yes, _that _Red Dress. 

Since The Red Dress had been officially ruled out as a possibility, she had eventually decided on the black one. It came down to a little below her knees. It was casual, but dressy at the same time. She had bought the dress by herself, so she was assured that the neckline was acceptable. She wondered why she had never wanted to wear it before. 

Then she remembered.

She was saving it for a special occasion.

Today, she wanted to impress Neal.

Thus, wearing it would be a good idea.

Now where did that thought come from?

Slipping on the dress, she was relieved that it fit well enough for her to wear. She didn't even want to imagine the scream that would have resounded through the halls if it hadn't fit and she had to resort to wearing that – monstrosity. 

Kel combed her hair and cleaned her teeth. She was about to go and ask Yuki if she had any facepaint when she realized that that was a _very_ stupid idea.

_'Why am I getting so worked up over this?'_ Kel mused as she slipped on shoes. They were the only pair of slippers she owned. Thankfully, they were black, so they matched with everything. She slipped a small, sheathed dagger in her shoes that, thankfully, wasn't uncomfortable when she tried to walk.

_'I mean... it's _Neal_. Neal - my best friend, Neal. I spent so much time getting dressed up that I forgot that it's just him. Why am I getting dressed up anyway? It's not like anything's going to happen anyway. Not that I _want_ anything to happen. Of course not. That would be – _silly._ Silly and fruitless. Because of the whole marriage thing. Yeah. That. Right.'_

Kel shook her head. She was thinking way too into this...

'It's not like we're going to do anything stupid, like have sex or something – ' 

"Did I just think that?"

"Gah!"

Kel's eyes widened at her own mental perverseness. She needed to stop thinking these things...

Checking herself in the mirror one last time (_'Since when did I care so much about how I look for Neal?')_, Kel decided to sit in her chair.

And wait. 

Kel had discovered that waiting could be a very redundant thing after a while.

Waiting made her think.

Her thoughts tended to be slightly – perverse.

They were mostly about Neal.

And Neal stripping.

And Neal naked.

And Neal naked with her.

They were bad, bad, thoughts.

Kel finally settled on pacing around her room until seven. 

She discovered that it really _was _possible to wear a hole in your carpet.

Finally, Kel sat down. There was no use in worrying about it. She would go out with Neal, and it would be over with. 

Unless, they did something _afterwards..._

_'Bad thought, bad thought, bad thought...'_

Kel stood up again. 

And paced.

And paced.

Until, finally, at five minutes to seven, a knock came from her door. 

_'Finally,'_ Kel thought silently as she walked over to her door. _'It's about time he got here...'_

Kel opened the door.

Dom was standing there.

_'Oh... we're going to have a field day with this one...'_

"Eh... Dom. It's… you. Here. At my door. How... nice."

Kel gave a forced smile that made her teeth hurt. She felt so unclean, so – _fake._ She hated lying to him, and boy, this lie would have to be a doosie is she was going to get away with still going out with Neal tonight.

"Kel – you look so... _robust_,' Dom struggled to find the right word. 

Kel grinned tightly. "Well, that's me. Robust 'ole Kel, they call me." 

_'Just smile and lie. Just lie and smile.'_

"Eh... right. Um... why are you all dressed up?"

Kel coughed. "Well... you see…" Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Neal coming down the hallway. "I was going to go and surprise you," she said, embracing Dom so that she could see over his back. She motioned frantically to Neal to get back.

"But then... well... I got sick!" Kel pulled away and coughed, to prove her point. 

Dom raised an eyebrow. "So... you were coming to see me... but got sick."

Kel smiled agreeably. "Yup. You see – I didn't want to get you sick too!" 

Dom looked at her. 

"Do you have a man in your closet?"

Kel blinked. "No! How could you ever think that, Dom? What do you take me for, some court whore?"

Dom's stance automatically became defensive. "No, of course not, Kel, you've just been acting sort of – "

"Sort of _what_, Domitan of Masbolle? Did you think I was – gods forbid – sleeping with another man? Who did you think it was? Maybe Cleon, or perhaps Owen, or maybe even-" she gasped for effect "-My Lord Raoul!"

Dom's eyes widened. "No, no, of course not Kel, I just – eh..."

"Fine then! Be like that! Think me a strumpet of the court!"

She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him. 

Dom blinked before Kel let out a snort.

"No, I'm sorry Dom, I'll see you tomorrow," she said as her frown turned inexplicably into a smile. "I was just fooling around with you."

Dom blinked. "Ah... heh... great joke, Kel. Go ahead and scare the loins off of me. No big deal. Heh..." 

His voice was just a _tad_ dry.

Kel frowned. "You're not mad, are you? I mean... I _wanted _to go, but then I got sick (cough), and I just didn't want to risk you, too." She looked at him pleadingly. "I didn't mean to, you know, scare the loins off of you." She blushed. 

Dom looked at her for a moment before nodding and giving her a small grin. "Don't worry about it, love. It's no big deal. Do you want me to send Meathead up to have a look at you?"

Kel shook her head vehemently. "No, that's all right. I'll be fine in the morning. Just – I'm going to get undressed and go _straight_ to bed. So don't come up here at one in the morning, checking on me, please? I want to be well rested for tomorrow."

Dom nodded. "All right. Are you so contagious that I can't give you a goodbye kiss?"

Kel gave a forced smile. "No, of course not."

Dom leaned over and kissed her lightly, but lingeringly on the lips before drawing back and smiling. "Feel better." He kissed her forehead for emphasis before turning away and walking out the door. 

Kel released the breath she hadn't known she had been holding. It wasn't every day your lover of a sorts walks in on you getting ready for a date with his cousin. 

When she was sure that Dom had left the area, she peeked out of the hallway. "Neal?" she hissed. Neal emerged from around a corner, red faced and breathless. He was holding a single white rose. Kel gave a wry smile. Leave it to him to always think of the romantics...

"I didn't know milady needed to see a doctor," Neal said as he sauntered up to her door. "Maybe I should have come by earlier," he drawled, leaning on the doorframe so that his face was near hers.

"Maybe you should have," Kel said softly, smiling as Neal bent over to kiss her cheek. He pulled back smiling. 

"Then again," Neal said, running fingers over his chin. "It's contagious. It would have been a shame if I got sick."

"Oh, of course. A large shame, in fact."

"Are you mocking me?"

"To the best of my abilities."

"I'm hurt, milady."

"You'll be even more hurt if you don't stop being such a tease and come inside." Kel stepped away from the door, allowing Neal to enter. 

Neal eyed her appreciatively as her walked inside and handed her the rose. "All dressed up for me, Kel? I'm touched."

"Touched in the head, you mean," Kel retorted as she closed the door behind him and took it. 

Neal snorted and as Kel took in all of him. There was nothing fancy about what he was wearing – nothing unusual to make him stand out and look more appealing that usual – but he looked somehow – different. More edible. 

'Again with the bad thoughts, Kel?' 

"You look beautiful, Kel," Neal murmured as he walked over to her. "Not too much – no facepaint or anything – but it works. Strangely, it works. You see, I've been reading those ladies magazines of yours, and that whole 'less is more' thing really seems to suit you." He nodded to himself as he took her in. 

"Neal, sometimes I really wonder about you."

"It wouldn't be healthy if you didn't."

Kel laughed as she reached over and gave him a friendly hug. "So what are we doing tonight?"

Neal shrugged. "What do you want to do? I was thinking a friendly romp in that corner right over there..." he nodded to the far side of her room "and then we could maybe have a pleasant game of–" he coughed "-_tunnel_ over on the bed over there..." He smiled devilishly.

"Tunnel?"

"Use your imagination."

Kel turned a brilliant scarlet.

"At least I know I have you thinking in a perverse enough way." Neal grinned.

"Excuse you, I had enough perverse thoughts running through my head that I _really_ don't need any more, thank you very much," Kel snapped at him, while trying to hide the steady heat rising to her face by turning away.

"Really? Now who would those perverse thoughts be about, hm?"

"None of your business."

"You've been daydreaming about Cleon again, haven't you."

Kel just looked at him in mild annoyance. 

"I know you have that little fantasy about having a tryst with Cleon, but _really_, Neal. Get over it. Just because you can't have him doesn't mean that you can tease me about it."

Neal pulled back in shock. "Wow, Kel. You're really standing up for yourself. I'm impressed. Not many women who I've shown interest in call me gay."

"So you admit you've shown interest in me?"

Neal blushed before he could control his emotions. "No... I mean interested in a – friendly way. How silly of you to think that I would ever want to court _you_."

"Yes, very silly." Kel snorted. 

Neal stared at her. "What?"

"Nothing," she said, a smile plastered on her face. "It's nothing. Really. Let's just go."

"But you're contagious. Wouldn't want to contaminate the slums of Corus."

"You're taking me to the slums of Corus?"

"Not exactly."

"Is it a bad thing that I'm scared already?"

"It's quite a good possibility."

"So where are you taking me?"

"It's a surprise."

"Are you taking me to a whore house?"

"No, although the look on your face when we walked in would be worth the pummeling."

"Are you taking me anywhere x-rated?"

Neal blinked. 

"Never mind." 

* ~ *  ~ * ~ * 

"There's no way in hell."

Neal snorted as he dragged Keladry inside. 

"There's no fucking way in hell."

"Oh, come on, Kel. It'll be fun."

"You know about the reputation this place has! And you brought me here! And I _asked _you if you were taking me anywhere x-rated!"

"I never answered the question, if you remember correctly."

"That's not the point! I can't believe you took me to a _strip joint_!"

"You need to know how to do it correctly. I'm just showing you the path."

Kel seethed at him as they stood outside the building where Neal had taken her to have dinner. They had been arguing for about the past five minutes as to whether or not to go in. Technically, it was a strip joint/restaurant. 

Kel tried not to sweat the technicalities, but this was taking it a _tad_ too far.

It was still a strip joint, and as far as Kel was concerned, that was reason enough not to go in, despite her grumbling stomach. 

"I am not going in there to learn how to strip," Kel said dryly.

"You need it for Dom. When the big night finally comes, you don't want to be _totally_ inexperienced."

Kel blinked. "I can't believe you just said that."

"You can't believe I took you to a strip joint either, but I did that too."

"That's not the point."

"Yeah it is, now come on."

Neal dragged Kel inside. 

"Two?" the hostess asked at the entrance.

"Yes," Neal said as he clung to the struggling Kel.

"I take it your date doesn't want to be here?" the hostess murmured to Neal as she took two menus from the desk.

"She's a little reluctant," Neal explained as he nodded. 

"Ah. First timer?"

"First timer."

"We'll just have to give her the special treatment. Honey?" the hostess said, turning to the still struggling Keladry. Kel blinked and looked at her. 

"What?"

The woman smiled sweetly. "Don't worry. Nothing embarrassing is going to happen to you against your will. We're respectful to our customers. Whether you came here for some good food, or to get a little head, we understand." She nodded agreeably. 

Kel's eyes widened. 

"Now, if you two will take your seats." She ushered Kel and Neal over to a booth that would have a good view of the stage. 

Kel glared at Neal.

Neal smiled pleasantly.

The hostess left them to their menus, saying that if they needed anything that their waiter would be Jean-Claude. Kel snorted under her breath.

"Why the long face, Kel?" Neal pouted at her mockingly.  

"I hate you."

"A good reason to be frowning. Don't worry, though. Most people can't stand hating me for too long. It gets too taxing."

"Oh, I have a feeling that I'll be hating you for a _very_ long while. I have quite a bit of resistance for things that would be normally very taxing to others." 

"Not when it comes to me."

"Especially when it comes to you."

Neal raised an eyebrow and shrugged. "Whatever you say, Kel. But when you decide that being mad at me is too tiring for you, I'll be waiting."

"..."

"Waiting. Just... waiting. Right here, at this very table."

"..."

"And – and I'll be here. For a while. Just – waiting." Neal nodded his head and pursed his lips together to hide the smile that was emerging on his face. 

"..."

"And then-"

"Oh, Mithros, Neal, would you shut up?" Kel interrupted, her eyes blazing. "I'll talk to you, okay? I'll stop hating you for a brief period of time, so you stop babbling!" she snapped.

"No need to be so touchy, Keladry. It's not attractive when a woman raises her voice."

"I don't give a fuck. My life's messed up as it is."

"It's also not attractive when a woman uses such language."

"You know what Neal?" Kel asked, sitting up and bringing her face close to his. "It doesn't matter. Because – big surprise – no one's attracted to me anyway! The only person that even wants to court me is someone that I sometimes can't stand to be around. And you know why that is, Neal? It's because every time he kisses me, or holds me, or touches me, _I feel like I'm cheating on you!_ Isn't that just _grand_? Why do I feel like I'm cheating on you, Neal? Is it some colossal _defect _I have, that makes me want to fuck you? Gods! _I can't believe you brought me to a strip joint_!"

Neal blinked as Kel pulled away and sat back in her chair, slumping, crossing her arms across her chest.

"You want – you want to _fuck _me?"

"Yeah, Neal. I want to fuck you." She rolled her eyes.

He blinked. 

"Oh."

Kel snorted.

Distantly, she heard music come on in the background. She couldn't care less if she tried. She had just told Neal some very personal things. She really shouldn't have done that... 

Neal looked at Kel from across the table with soft eyes. _'Why the hell did I do to deserve this, Mithros? Gods... why does everything have to be so confusing? I sound like a woman, with all the problems in my love life... Kel wants to fuck me... What am I doing? Kel wants to fuck me... Stop thinking that... Kel wants to fuck me... this is... different... Kel wants to fuck me... GAH! Stop thinking that!"_

"Kel?" Neal's voice was hoarse. 

"What?" she snapped coldly.

"You want to go?"

Kel turned to look at him very slowly. His arms were folded across his chest, his eyes sincere. He was gazing at her in a very intent mannerism. She didn't particularly like his glance, and the meaning underneath it, but... his eyes were so sorrowful. She couldn't just – reject him when he looked at her like that. One, it made her feel guilty. Mind you, she could have dealt with it if it was just the guilt getting to her. But his look... it made her feel loved. You couldn't be looked at like that and _not _feel love. Not that Kel had much experience in that department, but still...

She just couldn't say no.

"Fine."

Neal nodded and looked down at the table. "You know, we could go back, and I could buy some ingredients or something, and cook you dinner, maybe. We could have a real date. I mean... it'll probably taste pretty crappy, but it's the thought that counts, I guess..." His voice trailed off.

Kel swallowed and looked at him, then nodded. "Yeah. I mean – sure. I'd – I'd like that."

Neal nodded. "Good. That's – that's good."

"So we should probably be going."

"Right. That. The whole 'going' thing."

"It helps."

They looked up at each other at the same time and decided to get up. Kel thought that she was home free until she saw that everyone in the restaurant was looking at her and a half-dressed man standing near her.

Kel blinked. _'What in the name of Mithros...?'_

She looked across the room. There was a man on stage grinning at her and the man expectantly.     

"Ladies and gentlemen, it looks like our lady specimen hasn't been paying attention to the show," the man said, his smile widening. 

Kel blinked. _'Oh, fuck...'_

She gave a tight, and utterly forced smile at the audience and risked shooting a glance at Neal. She saw him shrug in uncertainty, and move forward closer to her.

The man on the stage was smiling again. "My dear," he began, speaking to Kel. "We've been informed that it was your first time here by your gentleman friend, over there next to you."

_'Gentleman. Ha. That's a good one.'_

"We always have a special show for our first time visitants."

_'This is not happening...'_

"Jason, over there, next to you, is going to show what kind of show we put on for our first time customers.'

_'You have to be shitting me...'_

Jason smiled at her and moved closer to her. He was actually shorter than her, which was a bit of an oddity. What he lacked in height he made up in beauty. He was pretty, rather than handsome, with shoulder length blonde hair and dark blue eyes. Kel would have said that he reminded her of Joren in a strange, odd way.  He slid up to her with a wicked smile on his face that said that he thoroughly enjoyed what he was doing. 

Kel backed up a step.

"Don't worry," he whispered. "It's just a lap dance. Nothing to be nervous about."

Kel blanched. _'Lap... dance?'_

"Oh no," she started, shaking her head as she backed away from him. "No lap dances today. Or any day, for that matter. You come near me, and I swear, I'll do something you'll regret."

Neal moved up to put a body between them. "You heard the lady. She doesn't want to be touched."

"Cut me a break!" Jason whispered feverishly. "I gotta get my pay somehow! All I'll be doing is giving her a lap dance!"

"Is there a problem down there?" the man on stage called down to them.

"Not at all!" Jason called. "Boyfriend's getting a bit protective, is all."

Kel knelt down and fingered the edge of her boot. Without hesitation, she grabbed the dagger from inside it and unsheathed it, bringing it up so Jason could see it.

"You come anywhere near me, and you can guess where this is going," she growled at him.

Jason backed away. 

Neal took Kel's arm and led her to the door. The man on the stage was frowning.

"What? She doesn't want to have a little fun?"

Kel and Neal ignored him.

* ~ * ~ * ~ * 

"Okay, so with this boiling water thing, how do you do it?"

Kel sighed. She hadn't known it would be this hard for him to cook something like pasta.

"You start the fire, and wait. And wait. And then when it gets all bubbly, it's boiled."

"Ah. Makes sense."

"Doesn't it?"

"Yeah." Neal started a fire in Kel's fireplace. He had gotten a pot to hang over it from one of the cooks in the kitchen  - after giving an ample amount of money to him, of course.

"So... then we wait."

"You're so smart, Neal."

"Why, thank you."

"Do you even have the tiniest ability to recognize when I'm being sarcastic?"

"Not a stitch."

Kel sighed. 

"So what do you want to do while we're waiting for the water to boil?"

"Uhm... wanna talk about you wanting to fuck me?"

"No."

"Ah. Well, you want to talk about Dom?"

"No."

"Huh. What about that guy who wanted to give you a lap dance?"

Kel contemplated her choices. She decided that this was the best one yet.

"Sure."

"You scared the shit out of him."

"Great observation skills you have going for you, Neal."

"Why, thank you." 

Kel sighed.

"So, did you think he was cute?"

Kel looked at him. 

He shrugged. "What? It's always good to ask. Just in case."

Kel shook her head. 

"Hey, Neal?"

"Yeah?"

"Why didn't they give you one of those 'first timer shows'?" 

Neal turned red.

"You've been there before, haven't you?"

"No..."

"You went to a strip club because you couldn't get any before you met Yuki."

Neal turned redder.

"No..."

"Heh... you're pathetic, Neal."

"It's not like I had sex or anything there. I mean... I wouldn't have to pay to get any. I could get some on my own."

"_Sure._"

"What, you don't believe me?"

"No."

Neal scowled at her. "I'll have you know that I was _not_ a virgin before Yuki."

"That's because you paid to get some."

"I did not!"

"_Fine_."

"No, it's not fine. You don't believe me!" 

"Great powers of deduction."

"You're doing this on purpose."

"Darn right."

"Why?"

"You took me to a strip joint." 

"You're never going to let me live that down, are you?"

"Nope."

Neal let out an aggravated sigh. 

"Hey, how long does it take for water to boil, anyway?"

"Couple of minutes."

"Huh. So I'm going to have to endure a couple of minutes more of your grudge-holding comments?"

"No. You're going to have to endure a lifetime of my grudge-holding comments."

"Great."

"Isn't it though?"

* ~ * ~ * ~ * 

"Well. That was – interesting."

"Definitely."

"We should do it again."

"Most definitely."

"You cook crappy pasta, Neal."

"I know."

"Hm." Kel glanced down at her plate. Where there had once been pasta a couple of minutes ago there now was only a bit of sauce. For crappy tasting spaghetti, she had eaten every last bit of it. Neal had pointed out as much.

"I was hungry," Kel responded in explanation. "If we had just eaten at a _normal_ restaurant, instead of you taking me to a strip joint, we wouldn't have had this problem."

"Would you stop rubbing it in? I made a mistake. Although the look on your face was priceless when you found out where we were going."

"A true Kodak moment."

"What's a Kodak?"

"Never mind, Neal."

Kel laughed, and her voice rolled over Neal like sweet honey. He suddenly realized that he wouldn't mind hearing her laugh for every day of his life.

"So... uh... you should probably be going." Kel looked at him and bit her lip.

"Yeah. That whole 'going' thing."

"Right."

Kel looked up at him, still biting her lip, when Neal suddenly broke out into a smile. 

Kel raised an eyebrow. "What is it?"

Neal laughed. "Nothing. It's nothing, really."

"Tell me?" Kel asked, her voice soft.

Neal looked at her for a moment before shrugging. "When I was younger, I overheard my father making a bet with Lady Alanna."

Kel blinked. "Well... that's nice."

Neal snorted. "Don't you even want to know what the bet was about?"

"Since I know you're going to tell me anyway, you might as well get it over with."

Neal shook his head. "Anyway, I-" he coughed "-accidentally overheard-"

"Eavesdropped," Kel corrected. 

Neal shrugged. "So I was-" he scowled at Kel "-eavesdropping, and I heard this bet that father and Alanna were making."

He stopped there for a moment, contemplating what to say next.

"And?" Kel urged him on. 

"Alanna made a bet that we would end up together. In fact, she bet seventeen gold nobles on it."

"Seventeen gold nobles? What person in their right mind would do that?"

"Whoever said Alanna was in her right mind?"

Kel snorted and leaned back in her chair. "But that's ridiculous. I mean... you and me... we would never... you know..." Her voice trailed off.

"I know. That's what I told father when he asked what our-" he coughed "-'_relationship_' was." 

Kel laughed. "Well, I'm glad to know I'm making _someone _money." She shook her head.

"You make Lord Raoul enough money when he bets on your jousting matches." 

Kel made a face. "But that's – different."

Neal raised an eyebrow. "How so?"

Kel shrugged. "I don't know. It just _is_."  

Neal let off a small chuckle. "You're confusing yourself again."

Kel eyed him. "Oh... bugger off. You should be leaving. It's past your bed time."

"What about your bed time?"

"My bed time is whenever I want it to be. Now off with you."

Neal simply sat on his chair.

Kel blinked. "Well, didn't you hear me? Off with you!"

A grin started to form on Neal's face.

"Oh gods. What are you thinking now?"

Neal's grin grew steadily wider.

Kel raised an eyebrow. "Are you going to tell me or just have me sit here staring at you like an idiot?"

Neal snorted. Leaning forward, he rested his elbows on his knees and drew closer to her. "I was thinking..."

"Something you don't do very readily, but go on."

Neal made a face at her, but continued. "So I was thinking. The day of the ball, when we had our little 'bet,' you _knew_ Kate was an empath."

Kel raised an eyebrow. "Yeah? So?"

"So... you cheated."

Kel stared at him. "So...?"

"Well, since you cheated, you shouldn't get off without doing your part of the bet."

Kel blinked. 

"No way in hell."

"Why? That's not fair!"

"Life's not fair. I'm not stripping for you because I knew something that you didn't."

"But you cheated!" he said, standing up and stalking towards her.

"So what? I'm not stripping for you! What is with you and your obsession with stripping, anyway?"

"I do not have an obsession for stripping!"

"Yes, you do! It's all you talk about! And all you do, for that matter!"

"That's not true!"

"Yes it is!"

"No it's not!"

"Doesn't this get redundant for you after a while?"

"Not at all! Strip for me?"

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"No."

"Yes."

"Ha! You said yes!"

Kel scowled. "No...fuck."

"You said yes. You can't go back on it now."

"No..." Kel whined. "I don't want to strip for you. Please?"

Neal grinned. "You better put on a good show, Kel."

Kel pouted. "I can't believe I'm doing this..."

Neal seated himself on her couch.  

She glared at him as she kicked her shoes off.

"Is that enough?"

Neal snorted. "No chance in hell."

Kel scowled at him. "Fine." She reached under her dress and slid her loins to her ankles. Kicking them off, she picked them up and threw them at him, glaring the entire time. 

Neal eyed her panties. "Huh."

"And you're giving me those back when I'm done. I'm not giving you the satisfaction of keeping them in some secret drawer full of other women's underwear that you stole through the years."

"Kel," Neal started, getting up off his spot on the couch. "You're not – doing it right."

Kel blinked. "What do you mean, I'm not doing it right?"

"You can't – do it like that."

"I'm stripping for you. What more do you want?"

"Look, you have to do it – slowly," Neal said, drawing out the word slowly for the effect. 

Kel stared at him. "You're lucky you're getting this much, don't push it."

"No, no," Neal said, walking up to her. "Look, you have to do it sorta... well, sensually."

"I can't believe you just said that."

"Here, look," Neal said as he backed away from her a bit. He slowly began sliding his tunic off, like he had done during the ball. Kel's eyes widened.

"See?" Neal asked as he pulled the tunic off and threw it to the ground.

Kel stared at his chest as a steady heat came to her cheeks. 

"Kel?" he asked, walking up to her and putting two fingers under her chin, forcing her to look at him. 

"Do-do it again?" she stuttered. "I – I didn't quite get it the first time."

Neal raised an eyebrow as he began unbuttoning his shirt. 

Kel swallowed, her throat tightening painfully as she watched Neal's hands rove over the material of his shirt. He was doing this on purpose, and she had walked right into it. His hands worked down his chest, starting from the collar and moving down to undo the top button of his shirt.

_'I wonder if he's doing this for my benefit, or he just likes feeling himself up.' _Kel paused in his thoughts. '_Then again, I don't know which would be worse.'_

Neal watched her, his face a blank mask. His eyes betrayed him nothing. She wished he would at least give her a clue of what he was feeling, instead of leaving her there, staring at his chest and hands. 

At that moment, she hated herself. She hated herself for letting this get out of control, hated herself for wanting him, and hated herself for – put simply – _needing _him. Kel hadn't needed anyone but herself in a long time. When she had been out on the border, she had learned to rely on her own abilities and instincts, rather than those of others. She had created a protective little barrier around herself and hadn't let those shields drop.

Until now, of course.

Strangely, she didn't mind.

By then, Neal was done unbuttoning his shirt. Kel reached out and placed an uncertain hand on his chest. Neal eyed her hesitantly, watching her movements to intense degree. He swallowed, and his throat bobbed up and down. Kel's eyes moved to meet his. 

Slowly, she brought her other hand up to touch his chest. She cautiously brushed her hands over his shoulders, causing his shirt to fall to his sides. Neal straightened his arms and it fell to the ground. 

Kel's eyes were still locked with his, their look uncertain, undecided. Neal moved his hands up to meet her arms and pull her closer. Kel braced herself again his chest as she moved up against him. Neal looked down at her and kissed her.

His mouth was warm and tender against hers. The texture of his lips was soft; gentle. He wasn't rushing her. His arms subconsciously tightened against hers as he pulled her closer to meld her against his chest.

Kel suddenly realized that she was scared. Scared of this, scared of him, and scared of what they might do. She was closer to losing her virginity than she had ever been. To make things better, it was with a man who was currently getting married to someone she considered a good friend. Kel generally tried not to hurt her friends. 

She broke away, her breathing arduous, the gaze in her eyes heavy. She couldn't do this... she just – _couldn't_.

"Neal," she started, looking up at him. "We – we can't."

"I know," he replied. 

She stared up at him. "You – you should go."

"I should."

Silence passed through the night, and all that was left was the sound of their struggled breathing. 

"So then... the door... it's over there."

"It is, isn't it?" 

Neal tried to put on a brave front, but Kel could tell that he was just as aroused as she was. The only thing to stop this would be to walk away...

So she did.

She turned away from him, her back facing him, and walked toward the wall. She couldn't look at him. If she looked at him, she wouldn't be able to stop herself. She was painfully aroused – just a simple kiss had made her stomach tighten with suppressed desire. 

She listened for a movement. Anything to tell her that he was leaving. She waited for a moment and heard nothing. Neal was just standing there, half naked, in her living room. And he wasn't making any advances to leave.

"Kel?"

She heard the voice from behind her, but refused to acknowledge it. If she said anything, it would be like inviting him to continue. Continuing would be very, very bad for her body.

"Is it hard?" Neal asked from across the room. 

Kel swallowed. She hated him at this instant. Hated him for making her want him, hated him for being so irresistible, and hated him for looking so damn good with his shirt off. 

"What?" she asked, her voice cracking dangerously, even as she refused to face him.

"To court someone you know you'll never love," Neal said softly. 

Kel froze. Part of her wanted to lie to him. To say that she loved Dom and that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. She wouldn't have to face up to Neal's statement. She could just tell him that she loved Dom and that would be it. Things wouldn't go further if Neal thought that she was in love with Dom. Put simply, though, she didn't think Neal would believe her. He knew her better than anyone. He could tell when she was lying.

Kel swallowed and clutched the wall, her fingertips turning white. Finally, she released them. There wasn't much use in fighting it. 

"Yes." Her voice wavered even as she spoke that last word. 

A moment of silence resonated through the room as Kel could almost feel Neal's nod from behind her. He came over to her, slowly, making no quick movements as to scare her away. She felt like she was being hunted by a predator far more experienced than she was in the game. 

He slowly approached her, touching her shoulder as he walked up behind her. His fingers trailed patterns over her back as he brought strong arms around her waist. He began to leisurely drop soft kisses on her neck.

"Neal-"

He kissed her shoulder...

"I don't think-"

His hand moved down to her thigh, pushing her dress up...

"We should-"

He touched her hip...

"Do-"

He reached his head over her shoulder and kissed her firmly on the mouth.

Kel stopped trying to speak, as suddenly, other things became much more important.

* ~ * ~ * ~ * 

Again, **YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.**


	15. A Strange Occurrence Concerning a Brush,...

Disclaimer: Don't own them. 'Cept for Neal. Teehee.

_I wanna be bad (bad)   
You make bad look so good   
I've got things on my mind   
I never thought I would   
I, I wanna be bad (bad)   
You make bad feel so good   
I'm losing all my cool   
I'm about to break the rules   
I, I wanna be bad_

Willa Ford – _I Wanna Be Bad_

Underneath the Surface – Chapter 14 – A Strange Occurrence Concerning a Brush, a Bath, and Teeth Cleaning Powder 

"Woah."

"Yeah."

"I mean, really. Woah."

"Yeah."

"We – we did that."

"We sure did."

"I mean – that was – woah."

"Yeah."

"Woah."

Neal looked over at Kel from the other side of the bed. Their clothes had been discarded – _somewhere_. Somewhere could end up being a lot of places, if Neal had to end up looking for his underwear, but that wasn't the point. He had just – done things... unchaste things... sexual things... with Kel... his best friend Kel... woah... it was slightly... unnerving...

"So... ah..."

"So..."

Kel glanced at him as she tried to gather the sheets closer to her body. _'Not that it matters,' _she thought bitterly to herself. _'He's seen the entire show already anyway.'_

"You hungry?"

Kel gave Neal a reproachful look. "Is all you can think about is food and sex?"

Neal blushed, an uncommon action for him. "No... I was just... wondering."

"Oh."

"So..."

Stillness stretched across the room in thick, tangible waves. Kel wanted to reach up and grab it, toss it out the window and throw it away. This was awkward enough as it was, without the stifling silence to add to it. She had no clue as to what to say to him. They had just – well, had sex. Good sex, if she was any judge. Not that she had any previous experience, but _still..._ she had thought it was good. She supposed, anyway... it was better than in the dreams, at least...

"This is awkward," Neal said finally.

"Good observation," Kel agreed, staring up at the ceiling.

"Um... do you think we should... talk or something?"

"Is that what you do after you have sex with your best friend, when you're currently with his cousin and he's getting married in – oh, five days?"

"You're mad," he stated.

Kel sighed. "No, just tired of whatever game we're playing." 

"Do you regret it?"

Kel took her time in answering. "I don't know," she answered finally. "It was alright when it was still a simple flirtation, but this is-"

"Going over the line," Neal finished for her.

"Yes," she agreed. "Yes, it is."

Neal put his hands behind his head as he propped himself up on the headboard. "What do you want to do, Kel?"

"I don't know," she snapped. "I'm just a tad confused at the moment." Her voice was harsh and sharp.

Neal frowned. This wasn't like Kel... then again, it wasn't like her to sleep with him, either. He didn't know if it had meant something to her, or if it was just one of those 'in the moment' things... women could be fickle when it came to things like that. _'Forget fickle, they can be a downright nightmare!'_

"Well then. What do you want me to do while I wait for you to stop being confused?" he asked, his voice coming out more severe than he had intended. Kel bit her lip.

"Whatever you want to do," she said, her voice dry.

Neal scowled. "Fine," he replied as he sat up in bed. Kel followed him with her eyes. 

"Where are you going?"

"To the bathroom," he uttered as he slid off the bed and into the darkness, without a stitch of clothes on. Kel blushed unwillingly. It took a very self-contented man to do that... 

Neal yelped as he tripped over a chair and hit the ground.

"I'm okay!" he voiced as he shot up to his feet. Kel snorted as her eyes followed his movements. He had a cat-like grace to him, a stealth of sorts. He swayed with every step in a motion that would almost seem feminine, if she could forget the fact that he was very naked and a tad sweaty. From things that he had done with her... nice things... 

Kel closed her eyes tightly and forced herself to look away from Neal's retreating figure. _It didn't mean anything. It didn't mean anything. If I keep saying it to myself in my head, it'll make it true. It didn't mean anything...'_

Neal's head popped out of her bathroom. "Do you have teeth cleaning powder?"

"In the cabinet above the sink."

"Thanks."

Neal darted back into the bathroom.

Kel sighed. What was she doing? And _why _did he have to use her teeth cleaning powder? Not that she minded or anything... it wasn't expensive... and _why _was she getting worked up over teeth cleaning powder when she had just went and lost her virginity?

Things were not looking up.

"You got a brush or something?" Neal said, popping out into view again. 

Kel picked up a comb at her bedside table and tossed it to him. 

"Thanks," he said as he retreated into the bathroom.

Kel made a face. He was making this into his room... it wasn't his room... he had no right to just take over like that. Just because they had slept together...

"Hey, can you send some water up for a bath?" Neal asked from inside the bathroom.

Kel blinked. 

Gathering the sheet up around her, she stalked towards the bathroom. "Who do you think you are, Nealan of Queenscove? You think you can just come in here and sleep with me and that it'll automatically turn into your room or something? You can't just-"

Kel was effectively cut off by Neal's lips on top of hers. Her eyes widened as her grip on the sheet loosened, falling finally to the ground. But the time he pulled back, a grin dancing across his face, she was quite breathless. 

"Go get water for a bath." His grin grew.

Kel's eyes widened as she raised her eyebrows. "And what exactly do you need a bath for?" she asked, backing up as Neal stalked towards her.

"I'm sweaty."

"Yeah, so am I."

"I think that's the point."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Well, you're sweaty, and _I'm_ sweaty, thus the whole _bath _thing..." his voice trailed off as he looked at her. His glance was similar to the way you would look at a small child who wasn't grasping a concept quite correctly.

Kel blinked. "Uh... I don't think... I mean, maybe we should-"

Neal kissed her. 

"Will you ever learn to shut up? You put too much importance on talking," he said when he pulled away from her. 

"Well, you think awfully high of yourself. You think you can just-"

Neal kissed her again.

"Do-"

And again.

"That-"

And again.

"Stop it Neal!" Kel said as she pushed away from him. "This doesn't change anything! Us having sex-" she waved a finger at him "-it doesn't change what's going to happen! We can't do this!"

Neal backed away from her dejectedly. Looking down at his feet, he frowned plaintively. 

"Well, if it doesn't change anything..." his voice trailed off in a gloomy disposition. Kel crossed her arms over her chest, suddenly realizing that she was naked. Not the best conditions, under any circumstances... well, _most _circumstances, anyway. 

Neal suddenly looked up at her. "Does that 'not changing' rule apply for the rest of tonight?"

Kel glanced at him, turning to him in an almost violent gesture. "What do you mean?"

"Well, if we did anything else _tonight_, it wouldn't count... might as well make the rest of the night worthwhile..."

"What are you implying?"

Neal gave an aggravated sigh. "What I am implying, Kel, is that if this is going to end, we might as well end it with a bang."

"Eh...?"

"Wouldn't you rather remember this is an amazing night that you spent with your best friend rather than the night that you broke up with him?"

"I don't think I understand..."

"Kel," he said, walking up to her and taking her hands into his and grasping them tightly. "Let's end things tomorrow. For now, let's just enjoy ourselves, all right?"

Kel looked at him for a moment. 

"It'll make it harder."

"I know."

Kel let out a deep breath she hadn't known that she had been holding and for the first time, she understood things perfectly. She would wake up in the morning and Neal wouldn't be there. He would be back in his bed, safe, with Yuki to marry in a few days. They would spend the rest of tonight together, and it would be the most brilliant night she ever had, and then it would be over. 

Generally, it seemed like a good idea.

Except for that whole '_over_' part...

"Neal-"

"Kel, please." He forced her to look up with him from the sheer power of his words. "I – I need you tonight, okay?"

Kel bit her lip. He looked so – vulnerable. It bothered her. Neal wasn't supposed to look vulnerable... he was supposed to be confident, and sure of himself, and generally, an ass. This whole 'emotion' thing wasn't good for the sole reason that it made her want to comfort him. 

Comfort, meaning that she would do anything that he wanted...

It surprised both of them when Kel captured Neal's lips with her own. Neal stumbled back a step, unsure of her intent.

Until, suddenly, it became _very_ clear.

Kel brought a hand up against Neal's chest and pushed, hard. He staggered back until his calves hit the bed. He fell onto it with a surprised look in his eyes. 

"You want to enjoy tonight?" Kel asked, her voice low, eyes darker than Neal had ever seen them. "Fine." 

She smiled suddenly. "But I get to be on top."

Neal raised his eyebrows as Kel stalked over to the bed. He backed up, forgetting that he was naked, forgetting that this was Kel, and forgetting, for a while, that he wasn't supposed to be doing this. Or enjoying it, for that matter... 

Kel placed her hands on the bed as she bent down to crawl onto it. Neal scooted back to give her room to get on. She was pretty sure that Kel wasn't acting like herself... well, not _pretty_ sure. Very sure, actually. It wasn't something that he would have expected her of... especially after their last time together. He never took her for the dominant in bed type...

Kel suddenly reached over and pushed him down firmly onto the bed.

_'Well. I won't make that mistake again...'_

Edging forward, Kel wrapped her calves around his thighs, straddling him. She took his hand in both of hers and kissed it once before giving him a grin that looked remarkably like his own.

_'Guess I've been rubbing off on her...'_

Sliding down his body, she bent down and ran her lips over his chest, easing herself on top of him. Her mouth ran over his nipple, and she suddenly bit down. Neal shuddered in a mixture of shock, a mild agony, and just a tad more satisfaction than was healthy for him. He never took himself for one that liked the submissive parts of sex. And here he was, Nealan of Queenscove, enjoying every bit of it. 

Kel smiled self righteously as she worked her mouth over his chest, soothing it where she had just inflicted pain. Small sounds came from the back of Kel's throat, making him almost painfully aroused... Her hands reached to clench his shoulders, keeping him in place. He wasn't particularly sure whether it was for his benefit or hers. Her lips ran down his chest, teasing, playful. A gasp came from the back of Neal's throat. 

Kel looked up at him, her eyes dark with eagerness. She gave a lusty laugh. "Like that, do you?"

Neal made a face. "Dominant, much?"

Kel shrugged, her body pressing down on his. "You got your chance to be on top."

"Hm," Neal murmured, reaching his arms down to pull her up next to him and into his arms. "Shh." He held her like that for a moment, before grinning and flipping her over onto her back.

"Bastard!" she cried when he pinned her to the bed. 

"Come now, Kel. You wouldn't have all the fun," he said as he moved down her body and kissed her between her breasts. 

"You – you – bas...tar...d..."

"Heh..."

"That's... not... funny..."

"Yes it is."

"Is... not."

"Is too."

Kel slipped a leg around his.

"Is... not!"

Kel flipped him over to straddle him. 

"Hah."

"No fair."

"Yes fair."

"Do you really want to get into this again?"

"Not really."

"Hm. Then shut up Neal."

"Fine. But at least let me be on top for some part of the night."

Kel smiled before bending down over him. "Normally, I would mind. But tonight-" she kissed him lightly on the lips "-I think we can make an exception."

* ~ * ~ * ~ * 

A/N: Yeah, I know it's short, but it's the chapter you wanted me to do to continue the... eh, other stuff. And they did have sex, you morons. Gah... I swear, it was like some of you didn't know or something... oh well. Whatever. Hope you didn't think it too... eh... icky. I know some people that don't appreciate stuff like this. But it sorta had to happen, when I think of it. Plus, originally, Neal was gonna look like a real ass. Now, at least, he's not too much of an unlikable character. Whatever. I have a mailing list, by the way. If you want to be in it, please just say so on the review. It'll make it easier than going through everyone's email... so anyway. Thanks to Min, for cheering me up tonight by just being wonderful. Seriously, thanks. You didn't even do much, but hey. Thanks to Sarina for betaing sorta. Thanks to the reviewers. I'm being really emotional today. It's that time o' month... it's so horrible. I feel like someone killed my best friend or something... god forbid. But anyway. Kate, write IT goddamnit, or I will do something painful to you. *smiles sweetly* Anyway, gotta go. Love y'all... Heh. *cough Amanda and Jennifer*

Love,

Stacey


	16. The Loneliness That Binds Us

Disclaimer: Same as last time. Don't own em, don't want to. Well, that's a lie. Never mind.
    
    _Come up to meet ya, tell you I'm sorry,_
    
    _You don't know how lovely you are,_
    
    _I had to find you, tell you I need ya,_
    
    _And tell you I set you apart,_
    
    _Tell me your secrets, and nurse me your questions,_
    
    _Oh lets go back to the start,_
    
    _Running in circles, coming in tails,_
    
    _Heads on a science apart,_
    
    _Nobody said it was easy,_
    
    _It's such a shame for us to part,_
    
    _Nobody said it was easy_
    
    _No one ever said it would be this hard,_
    
    _Oh take me back to the start___
    
    Coldplay – _The Scientist_

Underneath the Surface – Chapter 15 – The Loneliness That Binds Us 

Kel had decided that the emptiness would be the thing that was bound to kill her one day. If not in body, then in soul. 

Throughout her fairly full life, Kel had had a goal: to become a lady knight. It sounded so straight-forward at the beginning. Go for training, pass the test, kick bad guy butt. 

If only it had been that simple. 

She had struggled, fought, and blatantly defied authority in her quest to become the person she knew she could be. The pain seemed unbearable sometimes; she would occasionally collapse in the refuge of her room, reflecting on how empty her life had seemed at the time. She had no idea what real emptiness could really be... that the feelings that she had when she was a squire could carry over to knighthood... the omnipresent hollow that cut through the soul, eating away at the very core of her being... it was simply _agonizing_. 

She had expected everything to be better when she was finally knighted. When she could finally say that she had done something important with her life. She had expected everything to be the same as when she was distantly happy. She had been wrong.

Over the years, a subtle alienation had presented itself in Kel's behavior. The need to succeed was prevalent in her actions. Perhaps it was more her need to prove it to herself than anything. It had driven all her senses to an extreme; pushing and pressing to an almost breaking point. It was easy for Kel to lie to herself about it. It was so simple to just _expect_ that everyone she had driven everyone away to come back to her once she was ready: her family and friends, even those she didn't consider friends, but rather, not enemies per se. She had never counted on them finding themselves just when she was inclined to come back to them.

She had found them changed when she had decided it was time to stop alienating herself from the world. Her relationship with Cleon would never be the same. The spark had long since faded in their long term, yet distant relationship. What she had once delighted in had lost its fervor, its passion. The thing that had bothered her most about Cleon was that it didn't worry her much. She could have cared less; that distance she put between herself and others for so many years was truly becoming apparent for the first time. 

The others had been no different. Neal had gone off and found himself in Yuki, discovering the depths and intricacies a true relationship could hold. She barely talked to Merric any longer. Even the ever affectionate Owen had grown to be a hazy mass of uncertainty; instead of him adoring her for herself, he did it because of what he had heard of her; her deeds and actions the things he loved her for. It was similar to that of a fan loving a player for his part instead of his person. It ate at her, and she had hated them all for it for a while. 

Then, she had begun to hate herself.

Questioning yourself is never a good thing, especially when it came to Kel. She had begun to doubt herself in the most fundamental ways possible, and in doing that, developed something loosely resembling an inferiority complex. It came to the point where she couldn't make a decision without consulting of one of her friends or superiors, be it Dom, Raoul, or even Lord Wyldon. It had been the latter of them that had, strangely, seen the change in Kel the most, the indecision that had been a growing factor in her behavior as of late. He had consulted Lord Raoul, who, once it was pointed out to him, agreed in Wyldon's assumptions. He spread the word to Dom and Cleon, who were stationed at his post, and slowly, they began to restore Kel to the person she had once been. 

Cleon had been the key factor, strangely. She had seen the most of him while at war; their companionship had grown from an unsteady friendship to an unbreakable comradeship. They were kindred spirits in every sense of the word. Dom had returned routinely and given his part in making Kel feel as if she were part of a functional group, but it was Cleon who was her rock. It was Cleon's shoulder she had cried on when one of her friends died from a sudden Scanran attack, Cleon's fingers that brushed away the tears.

And slowly, she began to feel like she belonged. 

When news came of Neal's wedding, she couldn't have been happier. She would have the chance to renew the bonds of friendship she had with not only him, but Yuki, Owen, and the rest. But as they say, the best laid plans of mice and men are oft led astray. (A/N: A.k.a. why oh why didn't I take the blue pill?) She had left with Cleon for the capital, and the rest is history.

Waking up in her bed that morning was perhaps one of the most painful things Kel ever had to do. She felt those old feelings of emptiness returning to her, that distinct sensation of overwhelming numbness that made her feel absolutely _nothing_. She wanted to feel pain, or remorse, but all she felt was devastatingly _empty_. 

Groaning, she forced herself to sit up. She still hurt from last night. There would be blood on her sheets. She would have to go and get them cleaned herself. She didn't trust anyone else to clean them and possibly spread gossip about any nightly visitors and the blood. Mustn't have that...

Kel shook her head. She was being silly. They wouldn't think that it was from _that..._ They would just assume she had her monthlies a little early. She was being paranoid... 

_'Or careful?'_

If anyone found out about the activities she and Neal had joined in last night, they would both be ruined. Yuki would almost undoubtedly denounce any relations she ever had with Neal. Kel's name would be stained, probably indefinitely. Dom would never forgive her. Well, perhaps he would. Not that it mattered. It wasn't like he was going to find out anyway. 

Kel sighed. _'All this guilt and worry for one night of pleasure... It almost seems not worth it.'_

Fingering her pregnancy charm, she edged over to the side of the bed and swung her legs over the side. She had grabbed the charm somewhere in the fray of hurried kissing and frenzied tongues and put it on. Getting pregnant certainly would not be the answer everyone was looking for. Neal had stopped for a moment after he saw that she had put it on. He had looked down at the base of her neck and ran slim fingers over her chest before meeting her eyes. All she had done was stare back in a state of calm acceptance. His hand had found the back of her neck and he cupped her head before bringing her in for a bruising kiss...

Kel shuddered almost violently. She had concluded that Neal was like a drug. Once you did him once, you had to keep doing him or you would go into withdrawl. And Kel, currently, had a very serious case of it.

Standing up, Kel walked over to her dresser, consciously avoiding view of the window. It was going to be a long day. 

* ~ * ~ * ~ * 

_Dear Journal, _

_It is at times like this when I detest my life with a fiery passion._

Neal sat awake in his bed, clutching his leather bound journal in his hands, trying to sort through the past night's activities with some semblance of objectivity. It hadn't worked so far, but he was willing to keep sitting here until the entire world forgot about him and he never had to go out there again. It would be so much easier than facing them. They would greet him like nothing had happened, like nothing had changed, but he would know that it had. It would haunt him, and he hated it.

_It's not like I haven't had other one night stands before. _

Neal fingered his quill. He was trying to be objective. To look at his actions with a neutral, clear thinking state of mind. It hadn't worked so far, and he had little hope that that would change. 

_Admittedly, those one night stands have never been with a person I consider to be one of the closest people in my life. Who I had – at one point – been madly attracted to. They had always been people I considered below myself, too lowly to be taken into consideration of a serious relationship. An extremist might call them whores, in the non-literal sense, but I, myself, am too noble to think of myself as sleeping with whores. Too damn arrogant and self contented... _

Neal clenched his lips together tightly. This was not thinking objectively. 

_I am getting ahead of myself. _

_I am afraid of the consequences of my actions. Never before has a woman so thoroughly driven me mad. I am afraid for myself, afraid for her. She will be ruined if the conservatives ever find out. They will tear her to shreds, and leave the pieces out to rot. And it will be all my fault. It's strange, really. I'm used to being so egotistical, so self-centered, and yet, all I can think of is _her_. I feel as if her very blood is coursing through my veins, her thoughts, mine, her needs, mine... I want to hold her in my arms and take comfort in her, and it kills me because I know I can't. Because it can never happen again. I didn't tell her why I needed her so specifically last night. Why I could not bear not to have her for the rest of the darkness, until dawn's soft waves caressed my skin, a soft touch of silk and warmth. I didn't tell her, and I should have. _

_I think it was the strip joint that did it. That made me know so suddenly, and so completely, that I wanted her. Needed her. That terribly raw look in her eyes when she confessed her true feelings to me overcame any doubt I ever had about her. _

_She loved me.     _

_She loved me, and I was going to be forced to let her go. She was going to leave my life forever. Well, perhaps not forever, but in every way that counted, she was going to leave me. I couldn't let her go right away. I needed the time with her we had been cheated out of when we were younger. So I asked her to give me the night, and I would leave her when day came around. She consented, and it probably made things harder._

_It would have been so much simpler if we had just realized our feelings back when we were teenagers. When we were – innocent, untainted. When we didn't think of things so jadedly. Kel has changed, it's obvious. She's – quieter, more reserved. The only times I truly see her as she was is when we're alone together. Out in the open, though... she is as foreign to me as a group of barbarian Scanrans, and just about as cold. It pains me to think of her this way. As this distant, detached shadow of herself. It pains me as nothing has ever pained me before. Kel had always been the constant in my life, my firm foundation in which to plant my feet. It is as if, suddenly, that foundation shifted, and a schism cut through it, slicing down the middle and down into her core. I am left with my feet straddling a surface that is extremely likely to throw me down into the gaping hole below. _

_I am afraid of what is to ensue due to our actions. It is uncertainty that vexes me, that knowledge that I have almost no control of what is to happen. Generally, I like control. It feels very safe, very secure. I am not used to viewing my life as if from the point of view of an outsider, watching from the distance, confined to observation and not action. It is very constricting and more than a bit scary. That plaguing intangibility that will be my downfall...      _

_I want to make myself a promise: Whatever happens, I will rise to it and meet it, head on. I will not live my life in fear of being discovered. I will not be afraid of what is to happen. A life lived in fear isn't a life lived at all. I _will_ conquer this uncertainty, and I will laugh at it when I am finished. And maybe, at the end, she'll be there, at my side, my constant, my foundation, my rock. _

_And perhaps, my love._

_-Nealan of Queenscove_

* ~ * ~ * ~ *

"'Lo, love. How are you feeling?"

Kel blinked. '_Right. I'm supposed to be courting him. God I hate him. Why can't he and Yuki both go and just get together or something? Things would be so much easier. But no. Fate despises me.'_

"I'm feeling better, thanks. Much better, actually. That extra sleep really helps."

"I'm sure," Dom responded as he put an arm around her waist as she sat down at the breakfast table. "You're sure you don't want to see a healer?"

Kel looked at him. "I'm sure," she said, light sarcasm leaking through the cracks of her voice. Dom glanced at her for a moment before looking away, slightly hurt. 

"I was just concerned."

"Don't be."

Dom raised his eyes to look at her in something akin to alarm. He stared at her for a few moments in uninterrupted, tangible silence. 

"Am I interrupting something?" a clear voice rang from behind the couple. Kel broke Dom's gaze to see Yuki come up from behind them and sit next to Dom. Kel raised an eyebrow at the Yamani's choice of seating. 

"No, you're not interrupting anything, Yuki. Dom and I were just having a little discussion."

"Oh? About what?"

"Nothing. It's not important," Dom cut in quickly before turning to Kel and giving her a weak smile. She felt her heart wrench. She did not want to be the one to break Dom's heart, and yet she constantly found herself doing it.

"Well, that's okay. Kel, have you seen Neal? I tried looking for him last night, but couldn't find him."

Kel felt Dom shift in his seat as his grip around her waist tightened. 

"Actually, I saw him for a bit last night. He came right after you did, Dom, but left a couple of minutes later."

"Did you ask him to heal you?" Dom asked, something loosely resembling anger leaking through his voice.   

"I didn't think I needed it," Kel responded, a warning making itself apparent in her tone. 

"But you were sick," Dom stated. "The smart thing to do would have been to at least _ask _him to have a look at you."

Kel would have blushed if she wasn't angry. "You know what Dom? I'm in a really crappy mood. So stop it. Just – stop." She shook herself out of his hold and turned her back to him. 

Dom stared at her backside in concern. Tentatively, he put a hand on Kel's shoulder. "I'm sorry, love. I'm just – not used to you being this way."

"What way?" Kel asked, her voice rising as she turned back to him. 

"Well – eh... you're usually so... contented. I've never really seen you in a truly bad mood. I'm sorry. I'll – stop." He looked down at his hands and away from Kel. She glanced at him through sad eyes. 

_'I am such a bitch.'_

Slowly, Kel put her hand over his. She would learn to love him. She would have to. 

Yuki coughed from beside Dom. Kel had almost forgotten her. Almost.

"I'm sorry, Yuki. You were saying, about Neal?" Kel asked, leaning over to have a clear look at her. She was perfect, as usual. Yuki would look perfect in the middle of a hurricane. Her hair was carefully pinned in its usual state, a bit of lip rogue lightly covering her soft mouth. She was wearing a light purple kimono that seemed to fit perfectly in every way possible.

_'What the hell does Neal see in me?'_

"Oh, right. Because you see, I was looking for him around eight o'clock, but I couldn't find him in his rooms, or the library, or even the kitchens," Yuki continued.

"Hm. Maybe he went out or something," Dom stated, his tiff with Kel momentarily forgotten.

"Maybe... did he mention anything to you, Kel? Perhaps where he was going?"

Kel kept that perfectly straight face it had taken her years to acquire. "No. I don't know what to tell you, Yuki." All Kel could feel was empty, distant. Lying to her friends had bothered her once. Now it had become a habit.

"Hm... I wonder where he could have gone."

"Where who could have gone?"

Kel visibly jumped when she saw Neal standing directly behind her. 

"Oh, Neal! We were all wondering where you were last night."

Neal gave her a blank gaze. "I went into the city."

"Oh." Silence stretched between the two lovers. "What for?"

"Just felt like it," he responded as he sat down besides Dom.

"Oh. Well, you could have invited us. We would have come with you."

"I know. I invited Kel, but she was sick."

Yuki turned to Kel sharply. "But I thought you said that you didn't know where Neal went last night."

Kel blinked. "I uh... didn't. He asked me if I wanted to go out, and I said I was sick. I didn't ask anything past that."

Yuki looked at her for a moment before shrugging and turning back to Neal. "So what did you do?"

Neal shrugged as her turned to his food and ignored her. 

"Neal?" Yuki asked expectantly. 

"I didn't do anything. Absolutely nothing." He continued to eat.

Yuki gazed at him, wide eyed at his behavior, before averting her glance away from him. She was silent for a moment before she spoke up. "Did something happen, you two? You're both acting strange."

Kel met Neal's gaze for the first time since she had woken up. He was staring back at her, his eyes intense, face impassive. She could barely stand it. He was so close, and yet so far away. She wanted to reach over and touch his face, and was wounded with the very knowledge that she couldn't.

It was Neal that broke the gaze first. "Nothing's wrong, love. Nothing at all."

Yuki continued staring at the two of them, even as Cleon bounded in, his usual, unnaturally happy, perky self.

"Hello, everyone. You all get enough sleep last night?"

Kel visibly blushed. Dom noticed it, but chose not to say anything.

"Why? Have something planned for us today, Cleon?" Neal retorted dryly. 

"Hm. Not particularly. Just wondering, for the most part."

"Well, wonder somewhere else," Neal snapped. "Somewhere far away from me."

Kel glared at him. "What's your problem, Neal? He's just being his usual idiotic self."

Neal shook his head wordlessly at her, his eyes fierce with anger. "Oh, stop pmsing, Kel."

Kel's jaw dropped as she looked at her one time lover with barely contained shock. "Well, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed."

"More like the wrong bed altogether," Neal mumbled to himself.

"What?" Yuki asked, an ounce of distress escaping her voice. 

Neal turned to her sharply, his face an array of resentment. He let out a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment before speaking. "I – I told you I went into the city last night. Well, I had a couple of drinks, and I woke up this morning in the middle of the street. I did _not_ have a good night, so stop being so goddamn annoying!" He said this last part looking at Kel.

She scowled at him. "Fine. Just – fine. Be like that. Asshole."

Neal looked at her wordlessly. "Oh, you know what? Fuck you," he hissed before getting up and leaving the table, exiting the mess without a backward glance.

Kel seethed inwardly. She _hated_ him. He was making her life a mess. A horrible, terrible mess, that seemed to be quite ongoing. She wanted to punch him. Or at least kiss him. She was really beginning to wonder if their relationship truly was hate/love. 

"I'm going to the practice courts. I need to hit something," Kel stated simply before she got up to leave.

"Kel..." Dom started, grabbing her arm. Kel looked at him wordlessly. "Don't do anything stupid."

Kel, on the verge of saying something regrettable, stopped herself. He was just concerned. She would not punish him for caring about her. Silently, she nodded and left the mess, in the opposite direction that Neal took.

Dom blinked. This certainly was – odd. Kel and Neal – perpetually mad at each other. Not that they hadn't been mad at each other before, but this was taking it to a bit of an extreme. To the possible extent of them never talking to each other civilly again. 

Dom blanched. No, that wouldn't happen. They would make up. 

Hopefully.

"I'll go after her," Cleon said suddenly, once Kel was out of range. "Make sure she's all right."

Dom looked at the red head with something akin to graciousness. "Thank you. I don't think she would stand me right now."

"Hm. You're probably right." His acceptance of Dom's statement made him frown. However, there was a time and place for everything, and currently, things did not need to get any worse. 

"Go."

Cleon nodded once before getting up and turning to leave, his footsteps echoing through the mess hall. 

* ~ * ~ * ~ *

"Who the fuck does he think he is?" Kel asked herself as she pounded the training dummy. "I mean – he thinks he can just waltz back into my life and act like an ass! As if he didn't know I was going to be mad at him for yelling at Cleon. Gods, I get mad at him for practically _everything_; yelling at one of my best friend's should be at the top of the list! _Why_ is he doing this?" 

She kicked the head off of the training dummy.

"Oops..."

"You have some major rage in you, girl."

Kel whirled around to face Cleon with hard, impassive eyes. She stared at him for a moment before telling him, "I don't want to deal with you right now."

Cleon shrugged. "Too bad. What the hell is wrong with you?"

Kel made a face at him before turning away from him. "Nothing," she said, picking up the head and placing it back on the body in the most realistic way possible. 

"That's bullshit, and you know it."

"So what?" she asked. "It's not like it matters."

"It matters to me."

Kel turned abruptly to face him. "You know, I don't care. I don't care if it matters to you, I don't care if it matters to Dom, or Yuki, or hell, even Neal. _I don't care_."

Silence stretched between the two of them so thickly that Kel swore she could have tasted it. Cleon just stared at her for a moment. Then, he walked toward her, full of purpose and intent.

"You need a sparring partner? Since you've broken the dummy over there." He nodded to the straw figure. 

Kel watched him for a moment, her eyes unflinching, cold. Cleon was the one person she could count on right now to do the right thing. He would never hurt her or take advantage of her. She could trust him. 

"Okay."

"Fine. Don't beat me up too badly, though. I want to have feeling in my limbs tomorrow."

"Hm. That's nice," Kel said as she walked up to him.

"I'm serious. Numbness, although wonderfully blissful for a while, wears off after a couple of hours. Then the bruises will set in, and then it will be just painful, generally."

"I'll keep that in mind," Kel said as she nodded to him that she was to start. Cleon set himself in a fighting stance.

"Now don't think I'll go easy on you-"

Kel had kicked him in the shin.

"Ow! Jeez, Kel, do you have to-"

Kel punched him in the ribs.

"Gods, that was my-"

Kel jabbed her elbow into his stomach. 

"Okay, you can stop now..." Cleon said, coughing up bile.

"Oops. Sorry, Cleon."

"Yeah, I'll bet. I bet you were just dying to do that all summer long."

"Hm. Not really."

"Yeah." Cleon coughed again, then spit. "Anyway..."

Abruptly, Cleon ran up to her and tackled her, picking her up from the back of her legs to lift her up above his shoulders.

"Gah! Cleon! Let me down!"

"No! Not until you tell me what the hell is going on!"

"No!"

"Fine, then." Cleon walked steadily over to the area the pages and squires used for bathing. It would be empty now, since it was so early in the morning, but that didn't make the idea sound any more appealing to Kel.

"Cleon, put me down this instant!"

Kel saw Cleon's grin from out of the corner of her eye. "No," he stated simply as he strode over to the pond. 

"Don't you dare, Cleon."

"And why not?" he asked cheerfully. 

"Because. I will kill you."

"Hm. I hear the black god's realm is nice this time of year."

"Cleon!"

"Any last requests, milady?"

By then, they had reached the edge of the pool. Kel leered at it from her upside down position. He wouldn't dare...

Cold, icy water stung through Kel's body.

Or maybe he would.  

"Cleon!" she shrieked. "Cleon, I can't believe you just did that!" 

A throaty laugh bubbled from his lips. "And yet, you're sitting there wet, while here I am, dry." He laughed again. "You look good wet, did you know that?"

"Oh, you are so dead once I get out of here."

"Really? Are you going to chase me then, milady?"

Suddenly, Kel grinned wickedly. "No, I don't think I'll have to chase you very far." She smirked as she reached over for Cleon's pant leg to pull him in. He landed with a resounding splash in the pool. "Nope, not far at all."

Cleon surfaced, wiping his hair out of his eyes. "You are an evil woman, did you know that, Kel?"

"So I've been told."

Cleon snorted from a few feet away from her. "Now that you're at least smiling," he said, his own grin matching hers, "can you please tell me what's bothering you?"

Kel's face went cold again. A frown presented itself on her features, distant and detached. Cleon's face changed to echo hers. He walked slowly closer to her, their bodies a length away. Kel lowered her gaze to avoid his eyes.

"Kel."

Cleon placed two wet fingers under her chin and forced her eyes upwards. "I'm not going to judge you. I've never done anything but been your friend. Why are you afraid to trust me?"

Kel stared at him for an indefinite amount of time. Seconds had the weight of minutes. Kel could hardly stand him looking at her that way. He loved her. She knew he did. Maybe not in the way Dom did, or Neal did, but he still loved her. He would cry if she died, and give up his life for her, given the chance. He had never let her down as of yet, and she truthfully didn't believe that he would any time soon.

Yet, there was a part of her that doubted…

"Cleon, please don't ask me."

Cleon recoiled as if he had been struck. He had been so sure that she would open up to him... so sure...

"Fine. Fine. If you want to live the rest of your life alone, with no one to rely on, lying to yourself, be my guest. But if you want to live the way you were supposed to, with friends and people that care about you, then you know that my door is always open."

He turned his back on her and slowly ascended out of the pool.

"Cleon, wait."

Cleon froze mid-step.

"Come back, please. Please, just – just come here and be with me."

Cleon slowly turned back around, looking plaintively at her. His glance told her everything that he thought about her, from the loneliness he knew she endured, to the emptiness that ate at her in the dark hours of the night. 

He walked over to her deliberately and carefully, each step planned and intended. He stopped when he reached her, pulling her close to his body and holding her to him tightly. Kel slowly felt all her anger at him, all her anger at the world slowly dissipate. She was used to holding people, but never being held. When she was holding others, it was always a sign that she protected them, that she was the one to keep guard over them. Actually _being_ held was a different experience all together. She felt safe, protected. The world could collapse around her and she would be oblivious until those arms untangled themselves from her body.

When Cleon finally released her, all she could feel was a certain serenity that came from having an utter content with the world. She took a deep breath, and she smelled the sweet scent of vanilla. Cleon always smelled like vanilla. Amazing the things you notice when you finally let your guard down.

Cleon was looking at her, examining her. His gaze was scrutinizing, yet accepting at the same time. He looked at her with such affection, such pure devotion... 

"I slept with Neal last night."

Cleon blinked. "It's about time."

Kel pulled back from him. "What?"

Cleon grinned. "After the ball, Ermelian and I both agreed that you two were in love."

Kel blinked. "Ah. Because, you know, that makes it so clear."

"Heh. Doesn't it?"

Kel snorted. "So I told you. So now what?"

"Well... let's start out with the basics: what are you and Neal going to do now?"

Kel stopped for a moment. Slowly, she began: "We agreed that we had to break it off." Cleon nodded at her statement. "But – I don't know, Cleon. I just – I don't know what I feel about him. I know – I know I'm attracted to him, that's kind of a given."

"But what you want to know is: do you love him?" Cleon finished for her.

"Well, yeah."

"Hm..." Cleon pondered. "Does he love you?"

"I don't know. It's not like I asked him."

"Maybe you should have."

"You _are_ kidding, right?"

"Not really." 

"Hm. That's kind of not an option, I'm afraid."

"What, asking him if he loves you?"

"Well... _yes. What am I supposed to do, just stroll up to him and ask, 'oh, by the way, Neal, are you in love with me?'" Kel snorted. _

"Well, perhaps you shouldn't be that forward in it."

"Perhaps." A smile escaped Kel's lips. 

Cleon paused before he continued. "Are you going to tell him at all?"

Kel looked up at him and thought about her answer before she spoke. "Truthfully... probably not."

"Oh." Cleon looked down at her. "So you're just going to let him get married? Just like that?"

"I don't have much choice."

"Sure you do. Tell him. Break up the wedding. Who cares what the conservatives think, as long as you're happy."

"It's not that simple. It's not just the conservatives I'm worried about, it's Yuki, and Dom, and the people I actually care about."

"Hm. That does present a problem."

"Just slightly."

Cleon sighed before he answered her. "Well, listen, Kel. If you're not going to tell him, and you're going to just let him get married and walk away, my advice is to just do everything you can in order to get over him."

"Get over him... how?"

"Whatever you need, love. Whatever you need. Now come on, walking around in wet clothes in the middle of October will get us both sick, and what will Neal do with an ill maid of honor and usher?"

Kel shook her head as he accompanied her out of the pool. _'Get over Neal... How the hell am I supposed to do that? Nothing short of a miracle, or marriage...'_

Cleon had watched Kel as they treaded out of the pool. He had no idea how she would do, now that she had consented to give Neal up. _'It must kill her inside, to watch Neal just go and give himself to another woman. Better be prepared with plenty of tissues...'_

He was remotely surprised, therefore, when suddenly, Kel grinned. 

* ~ * ~ * ~ * 

_Dear Journal,_

_Scratch that bit before. I have decided that I don't want Kel anymore. Only a complete mad man would ever want that woman. Who does she think she is? Making a scene like that, in front of everyone, is inexcusable! Now they're going to be even more suspicious, asking questions and prodding and poking and I'll never be able to get any sleep at night! Sensibly, she should have just let the Cleon remark go. It's not as if we haven't exchanged repartee before. Hell, we do it all the time! And her, of all people, should have known that I would be in an amply bad mood when I came to breakfast this morning. She kept me up all night as it is..._

_I am convinced that she will drive me mad one day._

_Of all the idiotic things... going off like that! I admit, I did lead her on a bit, telling her to stop pmsing and being so annoying, but really, calling me an asshole? Was that really called for? She was the one that said that we couldn't do this anymore. I would have been perfectly happy to drop Yuki for her in a second, if she had only let me. Well, perhaps not _perfectly_ happy, but willing, nonetheless! If she would only stop being so damn self-righteous and see that I am here for her, waiting for her, wanting her... I cannot help how I feel, or how seeing her sets me on fire. I cannot help how badly I wanted to touch her when I looked at her this morning. I cannot help that insatiable passion that drives me to want her, to crave__ her... _

_Perhaps I should not have been so rash._

_I knew our tempers would both be easily ignited. I let myself go in the heat of the moment, and in doing that, possibly lost any affection she could have retained for me. _

_I am a fool._

_A fool in love._

_God help me._

_-Nealan of Queenscove_

* ~ * ~ * ~ *

"What do you suppose is going on?" Yuki asked as she and Dom walked back to her rooms after breakfast. They had carefully avoided any conversation regarding Kel and Neal up to this point, evading any uncomfortable moments. They both, however, knew that it would come down to this.

"With Kel and Neal?" Dom asked, looking at her. Yuki nodded wordlessly. "I have no idea."

"I don't see what could be the matter. They've always had their tiffs before, but never like this... and as far as I know, Neal has _never cursed at her. What he said..."_

"It was inexcusable."

"Yes... but the things Kel said, too. She could have let the Cleon remark go, we both know it." Dom nodded as he looked at her. "Do you know if they got into a fight before they came here?"

"Well," Dom started. "Neal had been at Kel's rooms last night. Maybe they had a misunderstanding that carried over to today."

"Some misunderstanding..." Yuki trailed off. She paused before she continued. "You don't think it's anything – _permanent_, do you?"

"You mean... a falling out?"

"Yes."

Dom let out a deep breath before speaking. "I hope to god that it isn't. Because if they can't make it, no one can."

* ~ * ~ * ~ * 

Kel had retreated to her room for the rest of the day. She definitely wanted to avoid seeing Neal accidentally and having another confrontation with him. She would either end up beating him to death, or undressing him in the middle of the hallway. She wasn't sure which was the lesser evil.

She _had _to stop thinking about him. Anything, if it would just keep her mind off of him for one bloodied second. Cleon had offered to stay with her after she had cleaned up, an offer she had declined. Now, she almost wished she had his company to keep her busy. 

_'How am I going to let him walk down the aisle in three days?'_ Kel thought wordlessly to herself. _'I can barely stand to _see_ him with Yuki, let alone let him marry her. I need something to get him out of my head. Images of him plague me, my thoughts, my dreams... I thought it would go away, but it didn't. I thought I could just ignore it, and it would leave. Why do I crave him so? Why is my lust left so insatiable?'_

Kel took a deep, hissing breath. She had to focus on getting over him, not being more in love with him.

_'I thought I could just taste it. That I could just have a little, and that would be it. I never dreamt I could get sucked into his world, consumed by his passions... I need to stop thinking like this. It's going to get me killed. Maybe not physically, but emotionally...'_

_'Cleon was right. I need to get over him.'_

_'But how the hell am I supposed to do that? Beats me if I know.'_

* ~ * ~ * ~ *

Dom had retired to bed at around nine o'clock that night. Relatively early for him, but considering that the wonder twins were still fuming, it was probably best. 

He had no idea what to do about Kel. She had seemed – testier, as of late. She had changed, undoubtedly, since he had greeted her on her first day back from the border. She had become – more outgoing, yet cooler, at the same time. A contradictory statement, but somehow, it worked. He needed to find some way to break her out of this – _funk _that she was going through. He was so afraid that whatever was going on with her would never get better.

What was worse was that he felt like he was helpless to stop it. Kel was the type to do things on her own, even if it meant taking the fall alone. She would shut him out, and he wouldn't be able to do anything about it. He hated that she could be so stubborn, so self-righteous. If only she would just let someone help her... 

Then again, just as we can't change who we are, we also can't change the ones we love, no matter how much we know it will help them. If Kel was going to act obstinate and immovable, he would just have to let her see for herself that she was in for a huge downfall. The only person Kel was going to listen to was herself, now that Neal was out of the picture. 

Dom's musings were interrupted by a sharp knock on his door. It rang quick and clear in his ears. Glancing down at the side of his bed, he reached down for the pants he had so carelessly discarded before crawling into bed. Having an unknown visitor see him in his loincloth was generally not be the best idea.   

Slipping on his pants, he stumbled to the door. Opening it quickly, he raised his eyebrows when he saw who was standing there.

"Eh... hi Dom."

Dom blinked. "Kel. I ah... didn't expect to see you."

"Yeah." 

Dom broke the silence that had stretched between them first. "Do you want to come in?"

"Eh... yeah."

Moving to the side, Dom opened the door wider so that Kel could step in. Her arm brushed his, and he shivered slightly. Closing the door behind her, Dom turned to face her. She was gazing around his room with interest, something bordering on curiosity. Dom raised an eyebrow. 

"See anything of interest?"

Kel turned to look at him. "No. I mean - not that you don't have anything of interest here, I mean, it's just..." Kel stopped, blushing. 

"It's all right. You want to sit down?" Dom asked, motioning to a chair near his desk. Kel gave him a small smile and sat down, Dom seating himself on the desk itself. Kel looked up at him, towering over her.

"Eh... do you mind if you sit someplace... lower? I'll hurt my neck looking up at you like that."  
  
Heat crept up Dom's face. "Oh. Sorry. I'll get a chair."

Kel gave him a tight smile as he slid down from the table and brought a chair over to where they were sitting. Sitting down, his lips curved up in a grin. "So... what do I owe the honor of your presence?"

Kel took in a deep breath. "Well, first, I want to say that I'm sorry for this morning. I – was in a bad mood."

"I noticed."

Kel gave him a look before continuing. "And I – I just want you to know..." Kel's voice trailed off.

Dom raised his eyebrows expectantly at her. What was so important that she was this fidgety about it?

"Yes?" he asked, his voice anticipating.

"I want you to know – that I love you. And that I would never do anything to hurt you."

Dom blinked. Kel - loved him? 

"You – you love me."

"I guess it's like you said, we've known each other for so long, that we sorta didn't need all that courting crap to tell us that."

"Uhm... yeah..."

"Dom?"

"Yes?"

"Eh... I know this is sorta... well, sudden, but uh..."

"Yes?"

"One day... do you think that maybe... we could..."

Silence stretched between the two of them.

"Yes, Kel?"

"That maybe we could get married?"

Dom blinked. Did she just –

"Ma-married?"

"Well, yes. And I know that we couldn't for a _very _long while, because you know, men in the king's own can't be married, but – "

Dom leaned over and placed a finger over Kel's lips. It was callous and rough, nothing of the gentile smoothness of Neal's. Kel leaned into his hand as Dom shifted to cup her cheek.

"Of course, one day. You know I wouldn't say no."

Kel let out a sigh of relief as a smile dazzled her face. "Good." She simply stared at him for a moment, thinking. He loved her so much. He was willing to give things to her that no other man would have been so tolerant of. He gave her all of him, and expected the same in return. Kel would never so willingly gave all of herself to a man. She would always find some way to hold back, to not bestow that one last bit. Sad, but true. The only man she had ever done that with was Neal, and he had broken her heart.

"Ah... Dom?"

"Yes?"

"Why don't you come to bed?"

Dom looked at her, his eyes bright. "Uh... Kel, are you-"

"I'm sure, if that's what you're asking."

"Well... if you're sure..."

"I am."

Dom swallowed, his throat convulsing slightly. "Well then... okay..." He took her hand and led her into his bedroom, Kel following him, her eyes for him only.

_'Remember... anything to get over him...'_

* ~ * ~ * ~ * 

A/N: *screams* NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM SUCH A BITCH!!!! WHY DID I DO THAT???? GAHHH!!!!! EVIL EVIL EVIL CHAPTER!!!!! EEEEVVVVVIIIIILLLLLL!!!!!!!!!! DIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*blink*

Okay, I'm done now. Anyway. I hate this chapter. It's so freaking depressing. And angsty. And not funny. Bleh. Cept for Kel beating up Cleon. I found that amusing. But anyway. Ohmigod! 510 reviews, dudettes! 510!!! I feel like I should make it in all big capital letters, but you sorta can't, since they're numbers and all. Hm. Shame. Oh well. I am VERY VERY SORRY!!!! (I was gonna use French, but Nell made it all confusing and damn her) I don't think I've updated in like... a month. I was so busy... tests and homework and quizzes galore. Galore. Funny word. Teehee. Right. I want to thank you all who kept reviewing, even when I didn't update. And for everyone who cheered me up when I was having that weird ass pmsing thing a while back. Y'all are so sweet. Anyway. IM me! Teh... By the way, anyone read Anita Blake? Cerulean Sins came out yesterday! YES! FINALLY! Heh... Eh... still accepting people for the mailing list, y'all. So go and put in a review that you want to be on. And then I'll put you on. And it'll all be good. Riiight. Okay. This is a long ass a/n. I'm gonna go now...

*flings self into 4th dimension... again*

Love,  
Stacey 


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